How Can We Be In A Recession If We've Got So Much Money?
Change. Hope. A sassy, no-nonsense demeanor that gets the job done. All qualities exhibited by Tony Danza on Who's The Boss. And, somewhat less importantly, by our President elect, Barack Obama.
What's that crazy Italian up to now? Why, Mr. Obama is planning a massive economic stimulus package, the largest amount of money spent on the American infrastructure since Eisenhower bought the U.S. highway system from the French (known at the time as "Ikes folly").
As someone who plans to live well into his forties, I'm a huge proponent of using green technologies as a way to put Americans to work. Just seems like good sense, as long as the Russians appear bent on keeping our nuclear weapons manufacturing sector limp and lifeless.
But I've got to say I'm baffled by the amount of money being discussed here. While Barack hasn't come up with an official number, Congress has estimated the package will be around 600 billion dollars. That's a lot of Jack In The Box tacos, my friends. About 1.2 trillion, by my count. Which, coincidentally, is how large the national deficit is (in money, not tacos).
But Obama is unfazed. Just like the nation seemed relatively unfazed when we spent a similar amount on bailing out Wall Street. Just like people are now talking about bailing out the auto makers. Which brings me to my question:
When did money become imaginary?
I know weve been headed this way ever since we went off the gold standard, but I seem to have missed the actual point at which the number of zeros on a check lost all real world significance.
I think it has something to do with borrowing from the future, which, if true, sounds like a great idea to me. After all, Im not in the future, and dont plan to ever be, barring a major breakthrough with my LSD-powered time-mo-gig (patent pending).
So, Mr. Obama (I feel I can safely assume youre reading this, since your last Youtube address was stolen verbatim from my article on Lindsay Lohans gooch and funbags), Id like to use my superior brain to point out some things we ought to be buying with our imaginary money.
After all, when this save the Earth thing goes down in flames, were going to need a nice terraformed place to put our stuff and/or selves.
And just think of the televised entertainment revenue! Which reminds me--
If youd like to order something with our vast build-up of imaginary funds, feel free to post a note to President elect Obama in the comments, which he reads religiously. But please note, these are not imaginary items, just items of possibly infinite cost.
The mans not a genie for Gods sake.
When not solving world financial crises, Michael serves as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!
LOL!!! Judging by Michael Swaim's articles, I actually think that he's an intelligent person. However, when it comes to subjects about politics and money, he's like the rest of the general public. That is "naive to point of being ignorant".
ReplyThe title of this article alone indicates how naively ignorant Mr. Swam and the general public is about how the money system actually works. And, if you're sincerely wondering "How Can We Be In A Recession If We've Got So Much Money?" back in 2010, and now a Great Recession in 2012? The answer is..drum roll please....Because, the Private Federal Reserve Central Bank of the U.S. has "PRINTED" so much money, for bailouts and 3 rounds of Quantitative Easing since 2008, that it's devalued what little value that the U.S. dollar.
You see, it's real simple people. The only thing that gives the U.S. dollar any value at all, since Nixon took the dollar off the Gold Standard is: How many people and Nations want the U.S. Dollar, and "How much money is in circulation". The more dollars that are printed-up, and then dumped into the Money Market means "The U.S. Dollar becomes less valuable, because there are trillions of more just like it". And, if the dollar is less valuable then fewer and fewer people and Nations want our money. Which in turn devalues the dollar even more.
When you have a devalued dollar then things cost more to produce, ship, sale and ultimately purchase. As a result, businesses shut down due to the higher cost of doing business, and the remaining Business owners lay-off more-and-more employees, and don't hire new ones because it takes a lot more devalued dollars to make, or buy their products wholesale. While less-and-less people have enough money to buy the products the retailers are selling, because either the potential buyer of retail goods has been laid-off, or is working, but no longer has a "Disposable Income" because it cost more-and-more devalued dollars to purchase stuff that's vital to their survival, like food and electricity for example.
All of this is due to the Private Reserve Central Banks ability to print money out of thin air, and loan that money to our government at interest, that the American people are forced to pay the interest on that loan to our government with their Federal Income Tax dollars. It's really that simple folks.
For more information of the Federal Reserve and how the money system actually works and who controls it. Just Google "the private federal reserve bank"
i have an idea. its very controvercial and you monocle people probably will FROWN upon me, but instead of the
Reply27.5 hollyf*gzordickwickens dollars lets just.. uhh not use money??
What would you suggest then, you six armed bastard?
Yeah, it's not like money is the be all end all of human accomplishment, it really all comes down to creativity and labor. As a part of the work-force, I'd totally be alright with working 80 hours a week if I were payed with potato chips, soda pop and a small place to stay. If I ever got bored with eating the same stuff every day then I could trade with the dude who got payed with donuts and coffee or the guy who got payed with pizza and punch; and we could get together on the weekends and throw a party with stockpiled rations while we discuss why it is that women don't come party with us when we invite them. And slowly but surely, it shall dawn on us that they're all hanging out with the guys who get rationed with steak and steroids that work in the super-mines.
But I degress, this proposition of yours sounds mighty fine sir!
Cool post! How much stuff did you have to look up in order to write this one? I can tell you put some work in.
ReplyAmazing article this is. It gets a thumbs up from me. I've been blogginf about sexual issues related to men's health for sometime now. We also promote Vimax. To buy vimax pills, vimax extenders, patches and other products at cheapest online prices, please check out my blog.
ReplyWait, how is this relevant?
Xanadu, that's not imaginary, it's just reaaaaaaally stupid.
ReplyGreat, thank for sharing your post, I learned alot from it.
ReplyI want a dick made of lasers! Also some laser proof vaginas.. also another laser dick. And if you say that's imaginary you're unamerican.
ReplyIs there a reason the fly in Firefly keeps being capitalized?
ReplyAnyway, yes, that nathanfillion dollars joke was a pleasant and entirely unexpected joke that I will have to introduce into everyday conversation from this point on.
Hey, great idea! Why not just print up enough money to give everyone a million dollars or so, and then nobody will have to work!
Reply;-)
FireFly rocks, no one really knows what the fuck I'm talking about it when I'm bringing it up... which brings me to the realization that maybe I should stop bringing it up. God damn you FOX!
ReplyBarbama should probably invest about 5 Stupillion dollars into either:
A) The reproduction of Cracked Magazine, and the complete downfall of MAD Magazine... because it sucks, and doesn't have nearly as many dick jokes as Cracked.
or
B) Bribing FOX to re-release the FireFly series... but act like the events of the movie Serenity never happened because the assholes killed off some key characters.
"We’re going to need some music out there in The Black, so I think it’s high time we invested, say, 1.4 nathanfillion dollars on space guitar technology."
ReplyNothing better than a fellow FireFly fan! *cheers*
I'm all for all of these "stimuli" ideas.
lets hre aliens to kill off all humans and destroy all modern tech.
Replysolves all the budget and environmental problems in one swipe.
yes the idea was stolen from the recent movie, but its good.
Oh my god that last pic of Obama as the genie is priceless!!
ReplyBut to get to the magical money thing- its basically because the Fed is a private company with a monopoly to create fiat money, which is just money because the government says it is. I just took my economics final Friday so I've spent the last 3 months learning about this shit.
You're totally right (as always swaim) about the gold standard.
Yeah, except the gold standard resulted in constant rolling depression/growth phases, and wasn't sustainable (especially considering gold has very little actual value, it's simply scarce. A silicon standard would be better).
Tits budget is a good idea. Think about it, think...
Replyno more (.)(.) just ( . )( . ) a sound investment for your countries future.
With all this talk of robot soldiers, and robot animals you'll also need to invest some Zarking moola in a Blade Runner training program.
ReplyOr you could go spend 8.00 bucks for a pack of Depends for Grandpa. Would be much cheaper.
ReplyCan you also invest in robot animals, I hate mine and he pisses me off, they will also have some military use of course. i say invest 60 gujralfgarlillimilliion double dollars into that project. Who knows, we can have robot dogs take care of our old people, cause my grandpa poops his pants.
ReplyMister Obama, please invent a tournament for giant robots to fight, I;m thinkinking bloodpsort, with giant robots. This will circumvent the necessity for war and it'd make awesome ratings man! Seriously dawg, homie manbrodude, thank about it!
ReplyNot tits budget but its budget. OOPS!!!
ReplyGuest_Name, that comment is filled with brillant suggestions.
ReplyWe did have a super collider project in the United States but congress killed it when it cut tits budget.
As for fruit that tases like cheeseburgers, I hate fruit, but if it tatsted like a cheeseburger I would eat it.