Considering some of the offensive Halloween costumes I’ve paraded in front of my friends and expected them not to sock me in the face, I feel a little awkward calling these kids douchebags for dressing as Virginia Tech victims. But, as it is my solemn duty to decry idiocy, here goes: what a couple of fucking douchebags.
Living proof that what happens on Facebook doesn’t stay on Facebook, these kids got their photos snapped at a party in October and it’s taken the last two months for the turds in question to float to the top of the toilet bowl that is national media outlets. And as you’d expect, everyone took turns saying how outraged they were and then showering attention on them.
Let’s drop the pretense for a minute here: they’re college students; they’re going to do dumb shit and piss everyone off. What even I can’t forgive, however, are the kids’ utterly terrible excuses, which I now present in order from least to most offensive:
Because clearly only the first iteration of a national tragedy is really tragic. I mean, how many times can a public building be bombed before it just loses that “tragic punch?” Oklahoma City? Tragic. The World Trade Center? Snore. It’s been done, man! Where’s the zazz?!
And did you notice the steady slide from principled rebellion to defensive whining? It’s probably on account of the hundreds of “detailed” death threats from Virginia Tech alumni that they’ve been receiving, including promises to curb them and “lynch” them. I’d be scared too; if Virginians have proven anything, it’s that they know how to lynch a guy.
The amount of attention they’ve received is somewhat staggering, considering how utterly stupid this all really is. If I thought being retarded on Halloween would get you this much publicity, I would’ve posted my own pics months ago. Let’s see, there was the year I went as a bloated Hurricane Katrina victim, then the next year I was a Holocaust survivor (losing all the wieght was a bitch), and this year I showed up as that artist’s rendering of Baby Grace.
Keeping up the violent sobbing and cries for mercy from my attacker all night was pretty tiring, but the warm grins on everyone’s faces were well worth the effort.
Top that you PSU sons of bitches!
This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 12th, 2007 at 8:00 am and is filed under Douchebags, Halloween, News, PSU, Virginia Tech. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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December 16th, 2007 at 8:56 am
I”m with you on the douche-y explanations. As for violence being the answer against these idiots, sorry, I’ve got to agree. For some reason, it seems like that’s the only way to get rid of retards like them. Otherwise, they just fester and increase, like germs on an infected wound.
Jackson-
Geeze, show a little compassion, will you? I may hate Michigan State with a passion, but I’m not about to make jokes if some kid goes psycho and kills students.
December 16th, 2007 at 7:47 am
“butterfly Says:
December 13th, 2007 at 8:15 am
I like it. it is funny. i saw a girl’s picture on the social site called sugarmommymeet.com. it is a service for well off women seeking handsome and charming men.”
i like how we’ve all been targeted by spammers as lonely, poor but handsome men.
good job, everyone!
December 15th, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Hey, Nick I would choose the second one.
That’s what friends are for! Sniper you to dead and yelling at your dead corpse.
BTW, the reaction to all this is demonstrating that people choose to be sensitive to some topics and when they do, they go waaaaay over the line in sensitivity. They dressed up as dead people, so what!? You don’t like it, ignore it! At the third beer in the party (if you’re my sister, if you’re me like ten will do) it will fade away, like a poisonous fart.
December 15th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
I thought Godwin’s Law stated you lost when you stooped to a Nazi or Hitler analogy.
December 14th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
Godwin’s Law: The longer an argument drags on, the likelier someone will stoop to a Hitler or Nazi analogy.
I got a million of ‘em.
December 14th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
Whatever Sickboy, you’re such a Nazi.
December 14th, 2007 at 8:13 pm
Thomson’s First Law of Controversy: any contentious issue being discussed will eventually be likened to a war, current or past, no matter how convoluted the comparison.
December 13th, 2007 at 10:25 pm
Swaim - Maybe. But you have to get creative in this kind of forum if you want your disgust to stand out.
December 13th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Mr. Swaim,
He isn’t saying it-he is typing it. And you are reading it, not hearing it. And I am just being an asshole.
Yorksherone
Also, what does some psychopathic loser going insane on a campus have anything to do with Iraqis? I would like to see your chaos theory on that one. Did the sound of the bullets scare a butterfly that bird ate, and the butterfly was poisonous and the bird got sick and crashed into the cockpit window of the pilot that was flying the bomber and he got scared and dropped the bomb too soon and killed the 350,000 Iraqis? Is it something like that or you just trying to derail the train to so it crashed into the War argument?
December 13th, 2007 at 12:59 pm
STOP SAYING HALLOWE’EN!
December 13th, 2007 at 12:55 pm
Gotta love it. It seems more time has been spent dealing with this than discussing that maybe those people are dead because you give nutters guns. Nice.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:15 am
I like it. it is funny. i saw a girl’s picture on the social site called sugarmommymeet.com. it is a service for well off women seeking handsome and charming men.
December 13th, 2007 at 6:50 am
I think it’s funny as fuck, who cares?! I’m sure 350,000 dead Iraqi’s don’t care…and how much sensitivity is shown to them in the American media?!
December 13th, 2007 at 5:17 am
This Hallowe’en I went as one of Jack the Ripper’s murder victims in a Victorian prostitute outfit and some fake blood (finally, a use for all those self-harm scars!) with a friend of mine as Jack the Ripper. And got no stick for it.
Conclusion: Too soon. Also, Americans put way too much effort into Hallowe’en.
December 13th, 2007 at 5:09 am
I’m just sayin, damn as least act like you understand why people might be pissed. The idea is clver, but shit man y’all got busted. Say I’m sorry and move on. That’s what I mus did and now he’s back, with some black folk on his show.
December 13th, 2007 at 1:50 am
As a long time VT hater, I’m not really all that upset by this…I told a few VT jokes far too soon, myself (I’ll spare you). But yeah, the excuses were awfully douchy, like these kids thought they were doing something super cool or even noble. I’d be much more pleased had they just told the VT alum to blow them
December 12th, 2007 at 11:30 pm
Racist!
December 12th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
I like how these guys have made it their personal responsibility to push the envelope. Guys, when we want the services of professional dickbags, we’ll ask for it. And when the hell did it become fashionable to make people angry at you for entirely no reason? Just because we _can_ push the envelope, doesn’t mean we _should_. I could stand on the street yelling all kinds of Aryan White Supremist nonsense and claim I was being ironic, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if someone threatened me with a painful death. Whether you have the right to make fun of dead people or not, I think there’s one thing a lot of us can agree on: Too soon, man. Too soon.
December 12th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Fuck, man. It’s like you’re DARING me. And the macho male part of my brain is REALLY tempted to just find the saddest thing I can and mock it for tomorrow’s post. Grumble, grumble.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Damn you, Swaim. You lure us in with these enticing titles, then stamp our dreams out. I expected an post making fun of school shootings, instead I get this.
You’re notorious and infamous on Cracked.com, and now you have to push the envelope for shock value, and it’s not happening.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
As much as the decision of those retards to mock the victims of Virginia Tech sickens me, they have the right to choose whatever costume they want to wear. But if they act like assholes, they deserve to be mocked and ridiculed for their moronic decisions.
Threatening them with violence for their idiocy, however, is completely out of line.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:29 pm
I’m just glad they didn’t do what so many retarded-ass college students do, which is to make the claim that they were just making a statement about gun control or about capitalism being an organized crime. I hate when college kids do that. Self-important dumb-asses.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
Get it? Out of the water? ZING!
December 12th, 2007 at 5:01 pm
Well, this blows my idea for a waterboarding victim costume right out of the water
December 12th, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Also, Justin: you are one cold-hearted motherfucker.
December 12th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
I have to second or third that what got me wasn’t the costumes, but their weak-ass attempts at defending themselves. I mean, either be a normal college kid and just say “fuck you, establishment. It was fucking HILARIOUS.” or say “my God, we’re so sorry, we…we had no idea.” Don’t make bizarre excuses that make me, a guy who generally LIKES things that are in poor taste, fucking hate your guts.
December 12th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Yeah too soon and the interview with the one guy was like being ear fucked with a coathanger. I remember at JMU this girl dressed up as an abortion doctor. I am a pretty crude guy and I even thought that was in bad taste. And how notrious are these kids if they went to a party with a whopping 6 fucking people? The amoint of bullshit that kid was spewing could have covred their football feiled with 10 feet of shit. Also, anyone else find the hyprocrisy nauseating with teh ivroy tower speech? He goes to Penn State, Tech is by far cheapr then Penn State. Next halloween I am dressing upas the kid that dressed up as a tech shooting victim.
December 12th, 2007 at 1:11 pm
Wait, are we not supposed to be hoisting dead people up on flagpoles? ‘Cause Pa went to a lot of trouble to hoist ours up there, and if he has to take them down now there’s going to be hell to pay.
December 12th, 2007 at 12:48 pm
If she was a little better looking I think she could get away with it.
December 12th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
I guess the implication is: stop paying attention to people whose only goal in life is to shock you.
December 12th, 2007 at 11:59 am
And?
My friend dressed as a Virginia Tech Student this year- we all said “ohhhh! too soon!” These kids aren’t even exceptionally original, they were just dumb enough to get posted on the internet.
I’m a lot more worried about the little 11 year old girl who showed up at my door dressed like Paris Hilton, than I am at a costume in bad taste.
How can we expect kids to respect the dead when the dead are hoisted up a flagpole and used as a justification for a ridiculous war?
December 12th, 2007 at 11:41 am
I guess it is a fine line. You can dress-up as a priest with a doll strapped to your crotch at Halloween, and that is ok because it is making fun of the criminal, as opposed to the victim (though it is clearly insensitive, and could remind someone of a traumatic experience). Dressing up as a shooting victim? It is shocking, yes, but only in the most vulgar kind of way. No commentary or subtext. Just I am a douche.
December 12th, 2007 at 11:14 am
Were you all really such flower children that you didn’t do anything to push the envelope in college? People are too sensative to this stuff esspecially considering how much of it you see on TV.
December 12th, 2007 at 9:58 am
lol yep, capitalism is an organized crime. Its just significantly less criminal than feudalism or communism or everything that sucked ass before it.
These kids are fucking punks. This is bad parenting. If I had to wish a lynching on anyone, it would probably be these kids, they will only make everyone around them’s lives miserable for as long as they live.
December 12th, 2007 at 9:40 am
Our civilization is obsessed with death. That’s why there’s so much gore and mayhem on TV. Many people can only feel alive when they see all those disasters on their safe screens. So these stupid kids dressed as victims. But “Capitalism is an organised crime and we’re ALL are victims”. (Refused TM). Nothing new and particulary funny about it. Just a reason to release a lot of pointless arguments. I think American students should play TOOL videos on Helloween and watch them naked.
December 12th, 2007 at 9:18 am
The rivals of Marshal College showed up to thier rival football game in shirts with a picture of a plane on fire that said “We were Marshal…”
Come on, people do sick and twisted things, but wouldn’t it be better to just let it go? Some assholes dressed up as some dead people. It’s halloween. People dress up as dead people all the time. What’s the difference if I’m supposed to be from VT or just the random guy killed in the 7-11? The act lasted 2 hours and caused several hundred hours of time to deal with it. The phrase “waste of time” comes to mind….
But, it does make me think about my costume for next year….
Would I be an asshole if I did one of the following:
1.) Dress up as Vick and pretend to beat a dog periodically throughout the night.
2.) Put “healed” GSW make-up on my head (or maybe just a head bandage would work), and have a friend follow me around with a gun with a sniper scope and point it at me from across the room. Upon shooting a blank, use a blood package to make it look like I’m really bleeding and lay on a couch or floor as my friend yells at my “corpse,” “THAT WAS FOR NOT DYING AT THE GAS STATION!”
December 12th, 2007 at 8:55 am
Since they didn’t do anything illegal, it’s time for their parents to step in and punish them:
“Suze? You know those Halloween pictures? Listen…it hurts me to tell you this, but, well…I don’t love you anymore. Neither does your father…no, no, he’s not angry, necessarily, he’s just indifferent, as if you were a stranger…Uh-huh… OK, look, I’ve got another call, so, if you want to come get your stuff out of your room and the basement…actually, don’t bother, we’ll ship it all to you…no, really, I gotta go.”
That may seem tough, but it’s fair.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:41 am
So basically their excuse was a collective “we are just massive assholes?”