You can view my first round of attempts below, but I'm officially requesting all Cracked Blog readers to get on this. I want to see you guys outdo Scott (and me), and do it with so many dick references and with such frequency that his servers crash out of disgust. You have your assignment, people. Post links to your masterpieces in the comments section.
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael glares at the people outside his window as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!EDITOR'S NOTE: For those interested in taking Mr. Swaim up on his challenge, we've created a forum thread here so that you can show off your work instead of just linking to it.