HBN Needs Your Help
So as I recently mentioned, I'm now under contract with Cracked. And while I wasn't able to secure any money or legal rights or scantily-clad assistants, I did get the man to concede to one point: two weeks of unpaid vacation. Yarp, that's right. And I'm using one of them now. Why? Because I'm tired. Last week's HBN was twice as long as a normal episode, and my new Windows Vista is still kicking my ass.
Sorry to disappoint, but hey, maybe this is like a "when life gives you lemons" kind of thing. This post can be anything you want it to be. Are you one of those lovely people who still misses Lex? Go watch an old douchebaggery episode and pretend it's new. Do you want this blog post to transform into a DOB article? Go get a rhyming dictionary; look up "Jack"; and laugh and laugh and laugh. Do you want to recreate the experience of reading Ross Wolinsky? Stare at a wall for five minutes. (Make sure it's a particularly unfunny wall).
Really, it's all up to you.
BUT IF YOU'RE STILL DISAPPOINTED IN THE ABSENCE OF HBN, THERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO: MAKE SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR AN HBN TOPIC BELOW. SEND IN SOME TIMELY VIDEO LINKS. Oh and try to make sure your ideas don't suck. That would help too. If I pick yours, I'll be sure to give you a shout out in the blog post.
That's right! A shout out! Can you believe it? I know Sarah "Lounsey" Malone can't believe it because I have NEVER given her a shout out. Even though she's one of HBN's biggest boosters. Even though she has tangled with Gladstone haters in the comments. Even though she once sent me periodic Digg updates. And sent me a recipe for a deep fried Mars bar. And yet? Nothing. Lounsey gets nothing. I will not speak of her or her talented animator boyfriend Paddy or that today's their 1 year anniversary, or really anything about her.
But the rest of you? Well all that shout out glory is just waiting for you!
Check out some more of Gladstone's stuff HERE. And while you may already be his Facebook friend, have you joined the club that all the kids are talking about?
Do you have a twitter page too?
ReplyI need to know, what is the song at the end and start of HBN?
Replyomg Gladstone you're so famous now you have an imposter... could it be your neighbours husband?
ReplyBRING BACK LEX!!!
Reply!!!!
At least the fake Gladstone isn't as annoying as glendoor's penis who was posting a while back.
ReplyOh, shirtless blogging is the problem, is it? Webcams, everyone! Time to see who's lettin' the twins get some breeze and who's a decent member of society.
Replyyou guys *girls* sound pathetic.
ReplyI'm rather baffled as to how shirtless blogging is going to help us distinguish real posts from fakes ones... Did I miss something here? O_O
ReplyFake Gladstone is yet another reason for shirtless blogging. It's the only way to know for sure.
ReplyMJ, there's nothing we can't accomplish if we put our minds to it..... I do find it amusing that our team leader and nemesis are both called Gladstone.. this would make for one fun kids tv-show.
ReplyWhile I personally found my own Gladstone impersonation joke HILARIOUS. I should note that I put in special care to make it obvious what I was doing (and then subtlety obvious as well, I hope you all noticed the u :)) and I completely agree with Lounsey on this one, as I do most things.
ReplyHe's just that annoying kid that thinks he's funny and I'm sure it'll loose appeal if we ignore him/her/it.
... That said I've been ignoring Kingmonkey for weeks now and he's still emailing me photos of his boobs so the plan isn't failsafe.
This Gladstone impersonator thing is gonna get really old really fast.
ReplyReal Gladstone is right, exclusive clubs are mean.
Sorry I just gotta go on some more about the fake Gladstone thing. Anybody who regularly reads this thing should be able to spot him right away, cause he writes totally differently from real Gladstone....I urge you all to ignore him until he goes away.
@ G-Stone.
ReplyYou realise you started this club (army) yeah? Shame on you!
Also, there is no Gladstone impostor. It's all in your mind.
Fictitious clubs with no perks exist on the internet? This new learning intrigues me...
ReplyBTW, I abhor exclusive clubs. very bizarre that i'm now affiliated with one. if it makes you feel better green, the club is fictitious and has no perks.
ReplyI can write a lengthy brief on why criminal convictions should (or should not) be overturned. I also know karate. And I'm half-Catholic (it's complicated). And I like to drink and ruin my romantic relationships. Basically I'm a very underpowered, sighted Daredevil.
ReplyBut I can give Team Lounsey one important thing: very, very, very insane people to use as, uh, assets. Seriously, I know a lot of batshit insane people who will do anything as long as you feed them beer and/or liquor. (Alas, J-Pappi, the weed days of college are forever gone.)
Goddammit!
ReplyWill I ever sit at the cool table?
It is only a matter of time before Team Gladstone is pitted against the Swaim Shadies in a no-holds-barred cage match.
ReplyWe'll be ready, Lounsey. We'll be ready.
Team Lounsey has reviewed your request, and according to our records, stoners don't make good team players. They mostly eat all the chocolate and crisps.
ReplyTo people in general: what do you feel that YOU would have to contriute to Team Lounsey also known as Team Gladstone? (it may shock you that we are different in name alone and are in fact made up of the same 3 people...but there ya go)
J-Pappi, although I have real Internet feelings for you, you are not getting boobie pics. And god is imaginary. And it doesn't matter anyway, because I am no longer out. Which has eased the pain of my HBN withdrawal.
ReplyAnd I'd like to be visited by a representative of Team Lounsey to see if I'd be a good fit for the organization. I have quite a lot to offer, both as an individual and as a team player.
Plus, Gladstone is hot.