But why no HBN this week? Well, there are many reasons. There are also many fake reasons. I've included both kinds below for you to sort out:
- I am in the middle of intense contractual negotiations and I'm withholding product in the hopes that Cracked caves to my one demand: scantily-clad, groupie assistants to work the camera and dust the green screen. (Frankly, I can't believe they won't give in here. I mean, I even left the definition of "scantily clad" way open -- French Maid, Sexy Nurse, Vampiress. All good.)
- I'm scared of the vocal minority that insists I suck. I wake up with night terrors. And don't get me started about the folks at Digg.com.
- I planned my week off with Dan O'Brien's travel absence to bring the Cracked empire to its knees so we can launch our competing site: The Mace & Machete Comedy Show ... .com.
- I am currently in talks with the Merchant/Ivory people to turn Hate By Numbers into a wartime romance set in the English countryside.
- Swaim offered me a role in Internet Party 3: Electric Booga-YouTube if I stop doing HBN. I think that's a good deal, especially because he assures me Facebook girl thinks I'm dreamy.
- I've done it for 11 weeks straight, writing, delivering, and editing it myself, and I deserve a break.
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