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Fuck Iraq - Carson, California Is The REAL War Zone: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

Carson City Council Smack

This is exactly why I stopped going to city council meetings. Everything is going along just fine, you're sitting there minding your own business listening to a deposition, and then BAM - some old lady taps you gently on the back of the head with a handful of papers. You're momentarily stunned, possibly in shock, but then it wears off a few seconds later and you suddenly realize how much pain you're in. That's when you let out an ear-splitting shriek, grab the armrest and gingerly hurl yourself to the floor. That's why I stopped going to city council meetings - because that kept happening to me ALL THE TIME.

These days I spend most of my days at the city treasurer's office. Things are a lot quieter there, and they have a handful of outdated general interest magazines in the lobby, so I get a lot of reading done, too. It might not be the most exciting way to while away the day, but at least it's not, you know, DANGEROUS. Not like those city council meetings in Carson, California.

In case you were wondering, the "assailant" in this video is a woman named Vera Robles DeWitt. She's a former mayor of Carson herself, and based on her website - which features a screenshot from the video right there on the main page, not to mention a whole press section (I'm apparently the last person to see this video) - I can only assume that she wants people to watch this clip. Probably to help clear her name of the (no joke) misdemeanor battery charges that were filed against her. You know - for gently tapping that woman on the back of the head with a handful of papers.

I guess the moral of the story is "Fuck Carson, California."

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Ross Wolinsky

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