Fox News Science Fun!
So Fox News is running a report on their website that tauts home remedies for medical ailments. Specifically, they recommend rubbing garlic on your skin to combat athlete's foot and jock itch.
So ladies, next time you're at the grocery store and you see an anxious guy in line with a bulb of garlic, odds are good that there are four reasons you don't want to have sex with him:
- He has jock itch
- He has athlete's foot
- He reeks of garlic, and, most importantly,
- He believes what he hears on Fox News.
Seriously, Fox News, this is the science you wanted to support? Every day you find a new disingenuous way to question the validity of global warming, but you're completely sold on the garlic. Hey, you know what else is good for ending all your fungal worries? Drowning to death in a melted glacier.
holy s**t this article is a relic... half the posts are just Gladstone and Swaim, and they're acting like people haven't heard of them...
ReplyThis article is short and worthless, much like the author's dick.
Replycan't see the photo anymore.
ReplyMerci pour ce post tr
ReplyI’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well. But it was interesting! Look for some my links:
ReplyI am now convinced that thedude is a secret alter ego of my ex room-mate who recently found Jesus, went insane, and moved to Virginia to bomb Planned Parenthood. Give me a call Chris, I want my spatula back!
Replywyatt just attempted humor, which was actually funny in the we're-laughing-at-you sense
ReplyMr. Gladstone, Mr. Swaim, I think you now have a challenge, my friends. Find 9 pictures of Sci-Fi captains who wear funny hats.
ReplyI'll even help you out. There is an episode of Firefly where Mal wears a bonnet (the episode is 'Our Dear Mrs. Reynolds'), and Star Trek: Insurrection has a scene where Captain Picard is given a head dress. It was when they initiated the primitive culture like frat boys do into a fraternity, but instead of having to streak campus and do gay stuff, they actually gave the initiating party a funny hat (use this line. MUST).
The race has begun.
I consider myself a fairly high-minded humor reader, but even I would be excited to read an article entitled "9 Sci-Fi Captains That Wear Funny Hats".
ReplyYou know, i hate to lower the tone but all i really noticed about that picture is that guy has REALLY well-groomed fingernails.
ReplyThanks for responding Wyatt. You should tell everyone you know to begin a non-stop email campaign to get satire and editorials reinstated. You sound like a humor writer's ideal reader.
ReplyI hear ya, Wyatt. I understand you think this post sucks, but I don't think it sucks in the same way that you think the other stuff on the new, new Cracked does.
ReplyAs someone who usually writes satire and not actual researched articles, I was more comfortable with the old format. Nevertheless, I probably enjoy the same percentage of articles under each format.
replace the photo its gone for whatever reason. Good article I love ripping on fox news
Gladstone,
ReplyThings that I enjoyed on the old/new cracked. I'm not really quiet sure, but it was before the website had the facelift. There just seemed to be some sort of life that was fresh and vibrant, and the endless possibilities and potential awesome-ness
I just got kinda sick with all the lists such as '9 Sci-Fi Captains That Wear Funny Hats', or 'Cars that deserve more than four wheels'. I particularly found the George Forman parody hilarious, what Michael Ian Black Wrote was 'off the wall, no reason in particular to be published' necessary, and.... I don't know what else to say. It seems like the new stuff has taken away from the greatness of the older material.
I'd hate to see this site just become a new thing that does nothing but make pop culture/80's references. But, then you are aiming to entertain the majority, and not the individual.
Also, Gladstone, in reference to your propaganda blog: FUCK FUCK FUCK! WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?!
ReplyGladstone, you have followers now? When the hell did this happen? Amass them, for the time to march on Washington is NOW!
ReplyDamn, I just clicked on Gladstone's name and it took me to his website where I saw that I was guest #6586. That one more little click of the counter is just going to encourage him to write more liberal propaganda for all of his communist-bastard followers to rally around. Damn my curiosity.
ReplyWait. A comment about something I WROTE???? wow.
ReplyHey, you know what else is good for ending all your fungal worries? Drowning to death in a melted glacier
ReplyAhem, Gentlemen i believe i have solved the supposed global warming Issue. I hereby request that congress issues free swimming lessons to all members of the united states of america. PROBLEM SOLVED.
thedude-so you haven't watched Fox News in ages but yet you defend them in their current format. I guess you just watch MSNBC so you can spit at your t.v. And anyone that uses bullshit insults like "liberal" is just telegraphing their menatl punches. Fuck it! Stop reading this tripe and just refer to Jackson's post.
ReplyI'm not even sure what the question was Matt. I was saying that leftists always assume Republicans are retarded rednecks, but all I ever see from them is ignorant rhetoric saying that Republicans are retarded. There are no intelligent ideas, and when the only thing you have to say is that someone else is stupid, then you are more stupid then they are.
ReplyI'm saying that if you viewed CNN and MSNBC from a conservative point of view, you would see how extremely biased they are. For example:
Chris Matthews recently postulated that the writers strike is a good thing for Hillary because then late-night comedians won't get to make fun of her. He thinks they go after her because she is "so pure and good." Yep, no bias there. I think everyone in the world can agree that the only reason anyone would make fun of Hillary is because she is "so pure and good."
Also, everyone in the world can agree that, as Olberdouche often likes to point out: "Bush should be hanged for war crimes, sir."
Yep, that's a mainstream network if I've ever seen one.