Comments on: Extinction Is Only For Ugly Animals

By: Pixy

Pixy — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:46:26 +0000

So I’m kinda diggin’ all the arguments going on in the comments but there is one thing I want to mention…

I know this is going to be a huge disappointment for everyone, but Swaim is not a scientist, nor does he have the funds/clearance/ability/anything needed to make actual decisions on which species to clone. It’s kind of stupid of them, but scientists usually don’t consult internet comedians before experiments.

Swaim writes for entertainment, which he does very well. If he went through all the pros and cons of every creature, the article would be all sorts of boring.

By: Nick/Tyrong

Nick/Tyrong — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 23:45:14 +0000

Actually, Neaderthal isn’t an ancestor. The evolved along side our ancestors, but were not ours. And that elk? Those antlers were the reason it went extinct. Too big for its environment, and predators hunted them down. Like us. Other things too, but we helped.

By: Kayla

Kayla — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 21:16:12 +0000

Neanderthals!! I’d take them over any other creature, if it means Geico can’t use their stupid commercials anymore!

By: Dank Afro Nugs Grape

Dank Afro Nugs Grape — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 00:38:57 +0000

If we’re going to clone extinct animals, we might as well genetically engineer them while we’re at it. For instance, we give the dodo bird the ability to spit venom. That sumbitch is gonna need all the help it can get to survive.

By: Nikolina

Nikolina — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 14:12:31 +0000

I say clone the giant eagle.
And the NZ Moa. Sure, the Moa can kill people but New Zealand’s only predators are cats, rats and dogs. No bears or snakes. Hell, it doesn’t even have poison oak or drop its temperature below zero in winter: You lose a scout in the woods, he walks out eventually.

By: DaveGee

DaveGee — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 11:29:27 +0000

I’m glad bobby boy was able to make an acute observation. ‘u guys are all nerds’. Good on you Bobby. I’ll be sure to see that an award is sent to your house at once. One that you don’t have to think too much about, and has a nice rhythmic ticking… well, at least for a while anyhow.

By: Skink

Skink — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 04:32:18 +0000

To RD.
Being a vegetarian doesn’t make the sloth a pacifist, being 5 times the mass of anything that would want to prey on it kinda limits it’s need to actively kick ass though.

Also, I highly recommend cloning Necrolemur. Sure, it was a totally average tarsier (amazingly cute and tiny, and, um, Tarsier-like) but it’s name means Death Lemur, and that’s gotta count for something.

By: erika

erika — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 21:47:45 +0000

Seriously guys, put the fact checking (who fact checks a comedic article) aside and enjoy the show! Swaim, as always, freakin A.

Maybe do an article about people who fact check funny articles.

By: Nick Burns

Nick Burns — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 20:41:52 +0000

RD We don’t know for sure that Neanderthals are a seperate species, or whether they bred into the species… Unless you have a time machine…

Anyways it is incredibly funny… XD

By: RD

RD — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 15:18:37 +0000

You got quite a bunch of errors in there. You are saved only by the fact that this is comedy.

- About dodos, they weren’t stupid but incredibly social. Also, their meat was practically inedible.
- A stallion zebra + mare horse = zorse (horbra if the parents are reversed)
- Being a (mostly) vegetarian does not make the sloth a pacifist.
- Neanderthal wasn’t our ancestor, but a relative species derived from a common ancestor who lived alongside our own species

I like your articles, but you could have put a bit more effort to the facts here. Funny stuff though, if considering this is classic play with the outdated and/or typical misconceptions of these animals.