Well apparently Kate Moss was the most popular celebrity on eBay in 2007, with 30,481 items relating to her sold on the internet auction site.
Wow. that’s an odd stat, but i will accept it as true for two reasons. I got it from Starpulse and they are never wrong, but, more importantly, because I own all 30,481 items. 2007 was a busy year for me. Here’s some of my favorite purchases:
A Kleenex used and discarded by Kate Moss containing mucuus, cocaine, and what’s left of her septum.
An autographed copy of a self-help book entitled “Why Woman Who Aren’t Nearly As Beautiful As Some People Say They Are, But Still Attractive, Date Some Of The Most Hideous Men On The Planet, Specifically, Pete Doherty”
A piece of watercress she nibbled on from 1993-1996
A break-up letter to Johnny Depp reading, in part, “Piss Off you TV loser. You’ll never be a big star like me.”
And, perhaps my favorite, a picture of Kate’s famous Obsession print ad with a special sexy message:
___
Gladstone writes for Cracked and others. Go to Wayne Gladstone Lives in Maine to see all his published stuff, links to his other worthless endeavors, and his full name and state of residence.
Last 5 posts by HBN
- HBN Says Goodbye - November 24th, 2008
- CNN Thinks Gift Cards Are Complicated (or Contest Winners, Rankings and preparing for the end) - November 17th, 2008
- Twilight Looks Like Crap (or Announcing the Hate By Numbers Contest) - November 10th, 2008
- Japanese Cat Saves Local Economy (Or What Would Hate By Numbers Look Like Without Hate) - November 3rd, 2008
- Marcia Brady Has More Problems Than You'd Imagine (If you imagine that fictional characters are real) - October 27th, 2008
January 1st, 2008 at 1:12 am
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! AND WAR… DAMN….EAGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 31st, 2007 at 9:19 am
Is kissinterracial.com the new sugarmommymeet.com? I look forward to updating my bookmarks, if so.
December 31st, 2007 at 1:11 am
Yes, I saw pictures of you in your QEII outfit there.
December 30th, 2007 at 11:56 pm
Great post, but I found more interestings at kissinterracial.com, a site.
December 30th, 2007 at 11:45 am
“As far as V, I don’t even need to discuss him. You don’t argue with people like that”
You are correct sir. I just have a low tolerance for idiots. I once beat the shit out of a holocaust denier on the grounds that one of my grandfathers liberated two of those camps and in my drunken state of mind, he was calling my grandfather a liar. Which my grandfather was not. I explain that to this idiot and then he proceeded to verbally call my grandfather a liar and the ass whuppin commenced.
December 29th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Glendoor42, i already forgave you AND accepted your indictment. it’s funny, I stand by that post, but if i had known the full story as you had, i wouldn’t have written. Also, i’m shocked no one pointed out what was most offensive about that post: the title! It was indefensible and can’t be defended the way the rest of the joke could.
As far as V, I don’t even need to discuss him. You don’t argue with people like that.
December 29th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
Gladstone, I wish that you or whoever would have left Mr. V comments up. I was about to all “a parent” on his ass. Yes that is my evil alter ego. I wrote about half a comment but I had to take my toy poodle to get groomed. Oh and please don’t hate me about being
“a parent” seemed like a good idea at the time, instead of just being plain old glendoor42.
Also please remember that I’m on a lot of hard drugs.
PS .anybody got something to say about me having a toy poodle, well just say it. I’m confident in my manhood, plus Monday I get a fucking lightsaber. Yeeeaaahh!!!!
December 29th, 2007 at 1:06 am
Cracked is on fire today.
A fire of hilarity. And terrible creepiness.
December 28th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
I have seen some photos about her at Kissinterracial.com , a dating site
December 28th, 2007 at 8:15 pm
DesertElephant, I’ve been manually training for about 15 years now, and when I get a girl who is on the rebound and drunk enough to have sex with me, she doesn’t even come close to Kate Moss… for better or worse. So believe me, 1 min would be enough for me. Hell, I’d probably squeeze a second round in there too.
glendoor42, I didn’t know Gladstone’s name is Wayne, so at first I thought it was some obscure reference to him looking like Wayne Newton or something… which made it even funnier in a sad way.
December 28th, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Bacalao,
You already know she wouldn’t be swallowing. I’d bargain her down a bit.
December 28th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
Hey Bacalao, you just got WayneRoll’d
December 28th, 2007 at 6:24 pm
Is that poster up for sale? What the buy right now price, because i have sack of Sacagawea’s burning a hole in my pocket.
I also agree that Kate Moss is highly prostitutable.
December 28th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
I’d like to one soon. Right now, my video is confined to this.
December 28th, 2007 at 6:08 pm
Damn! Today cracked.com has been the shiznit hehe I love these blogs. When are you gonna do a video blog too, Gladstone?
About Kate Moss, I know she’s not the hottest woman alive, but if she called me and told me to shell out $1,000 for a 1 min BJ, I’d do it in a heartbeat.