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Eagles, Goats and Amusement Park Injuries: The Friday Nooner (EST)!

Awesome Video Of The DayGolden Eagle Snags A Goat

While we're on the subject of terrifying animals, I would like to add that I will never, EVER fuck with a golden eagle. I can't imagine that I weigh much more than a goat, and that THING just totally picked one up and flew away it. You do the math. Sure, the crappy little goat sound effect 13 seconds in is hilarious, but that's about all you get in this video in the way of comedy1. Birds of prey don't really "do" funny.

Wanna know what probably happens after this video ends? The eagle takes the goat back to its terrifying nest (presumably one made of broken glass and barbed wire) and proceeds to rip it to shreds with its razor-sharp beak. When I think of badasses of the animal kingdom, I don't generally think of birds; wolves, cobras, tigers, and komodo dragons come more readily to mind. I guess I tend to think of fangs and venom instead of talons and beaks2, but it's starting to look like I've been all turned around on the subject. Apparently eagles are totally badass. Who knew?!

1 Other than the part where the eagle flies away with the goat. In the laugh industry, we call this a "sight gag."

2 Although giant squid have beaks too, and they are most certainly badass animals.


(Yet Another) Wildcard Week!!!RideAccidents.com

I don't know what horrible misfortune spurred someone to start RideAccidents.com. I like to think they lost their arm years ago on a tilt-a-whirl and turned into the most boring comic book hero of all time, hellbent on destroying the carnival industry by starting a website that documents amusement park-related accidents in painstaking detail. It'd be like Batman fighting the Joker with petitions and legal actions. Come to think of it, I would probably buy either one of those comic books if they were available, but I digress. Moving along...

RideAccidents.com "includes a record of fatal amusement ride accidents in the United States since 1972, and, for the past nine years, has recorded all types of accidents, including many from outside the United States." It's good to have this kind of information available at your fingertips. How else would you know how many children have died or been injured on inflatable rides? Who else is keeping track of all the accidents that occur at Disneyland? What about bungee-related mishaps? Fun is dangerous, people. Thank goodness there's someone out there documenting all the ways it can possibly go wrong.

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Ross Wolinsky

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