So by now you’ve heard all about Britney’s mental collapse. You’ve probably also heard that Dr. Phil –with absolutely no clearance from Britney— was allowed to visit her in the hospital. Real life mental health practitioners have uniformly condemned Dr. Phil for the sabotage. If you think Phil had nobler, treatment-based intentions, then it’s kind of odd to think he would violate patient/physician privilege by blabbing all about his diagnosis to the press.
But there’s another problem here. Why would
After Owen Wilson’s suicide attempt, the Hospital allows access to
Lindsay Lohan is rushed to Cedars with a disabling infestation of crabs. Against all protocol, Cedars grants visiting rights to the Gorton’s Fisherman
After undergoing 7 hours of painful English Accent transplant surgery, Madonna is swarmed upon by her last five remaining fans: the cast of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.”
Michael Moore suffering from diabetes, ischemic stroke, and severe cardiac stenosis is admitted to the Cedars ER whereby the entire medical and pharmaceutical industry is granted access to proclaim, “Who’s your Daddy, now?”
After Anna Nicole Smith arrives at Cedars DOA, the deceased and buxom starlet is greeted by Dr. Phil who declares, “Damn. Better get here earlier next time,” cops a feel, and then leaves.
___
Gladstone writes for Cracked and others. Go to Wayne Gladstone Lives in Maine to see all his published stuff, links to his other worthless endeavors, and his full name and state of residence.
This entry was posted on Monday, January 7th, 2008 at 4:00 pm and is filed under People I Don't Care About Who Make Blogging Possible. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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May 6th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Great information and usefull too. I need a grant and I need all the help I can get. I will be back soon as I have bookmarked your blog.
March 24th, 2009 at 4:57 am
P.S the burger king guy is pretty creepy. But at least he’s bringing food.
March 24th, 2009 at 4:53 am
Dr. Phil you are a complete jack ass. And Oprah you hired this moron. And it seems that all these shows are just places for feminist man hating chicks to go and feel powerful and free from the suppression of man. They all need to wake up and go live in Iran for a year and come back here and start treating there men better and enjoying the great life they have and quit there god dam bitching. Lifetime, oxygen, and Oprah makes me sick to my stomach. It’s either a show about a woman that is abused “means shes a bitch and complains a lot” or a woman that was raped “usually by her own boyfriend after penetration she says no and the poor sap goes to jail” or the her best friend or her mother is dying “always from cancer” if i have to sit and watch this crap with my wife another night and some how these stories which have nothing to do with me get compared to my life “which according to my wife I am the anti-christ” I will go crazy. What happened to the happy go lucky tom boys that want to have fun and enjoy life. Americas great place you can take out an insurance policy on you husband kill him. And then tell everyone you were abused and you get off. For men your wife could be a total slut man hating bitch that slips in a shower and we would be convicted of murder. Gee i love this place can’t wait to see how messed up this place is in ten more years. You will need to have a signed agreement to have sex. And as part of the agreement you will have to check your balls in at the door.
January 9th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Dr Phil is NOT a doctor he is a clinician and according to Dr Drew, ( Love Line) dose not have a license to practice in CA
January 8th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
@bongomo, Yes, I got my lightsaber and I’m the only fourty year old Jedi on my block.
January 8th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Fucking Dr. Phil called my house today……No shit…….Really…….Ok, a recording of Dr. Phil
called my house today and left a message. He wanted my family to give blood to the American Red Cross. This just goes to prove that even media whore assholes can be altruistic ……. OR….OR…..
Ole Phil has found himself in hot water and wants to show the world what a great guy he is. The message he left said this “holiday season” give the gift of life. This makes me highly suspicious. The holiday season , as far as I know, was over yesterday by any ones accounting. What a dick.
January 8th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
That’s for Debi Mazar to know and you to find out.
January 8th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Are Ian’s pants platinum to match Gladstone’s cockring?
January 8th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Geez, can’t a blogger hate Dr. Phil without abdicating his hatred for Britney?
January 8th, 2008 at 11:53 am
hey glendoor42, i agree with you on the creepiness of the burger king. however, more important–did you get your light saber???
January 8th, 2008 at 11:47 am
This is Gladstone’s version of a ‘leave Brtiney alone’ video, except that this one is a blog post and it has dignity.
January 8th, 2008 at 11:36 am
>>>>Many feel, the Hospital succumbed, inappropriately, to Dr. Phil’s celebrity request for admission over the rights of its patient.
It’s Britney. Who gives a fuck?
January 7th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
Good point—why ever would the hospital allow a TV personality visit a pop singer in the hospital? Everything about her lifestyle illustrates how jealously Britney guards her privacy, and her reluctance to share personal details with strangers.
January 7th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
It was as if Gladstone provided you with an outlet for your rage.
January 7th, 2008 at 9:53 pm
Greggo, that was one of the best comments I’ve ever read. So much anger….
January 7th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Also, I pander to my basest instincts.
January 7th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
The sure-fire way to tell me and Gladstone apart is that he always wears a platinum cock-ring, whereas I wear pants.
January 7th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
I hate doctor phil-he probably wants Britney for a later show where he can claim to have cured her! Listening to this buffoon gets me so agitated that I sometimes have to go buy a 44 ouncer just to calm my nerves!dr. phil is a pompous jerk famous because Oprah likes him. Speaking of Oprah I hate her too! Her show today taught me a lot about poop ( shit ) which is what her show is all about! Greggo
January 7th, 2008 at 5:41 pm
Just today I was discussing with a co-worker how the internet/instant messaging programs has resulted in severely lax reading comprehension and how literacy as a whole has been in decline, and she felt I may have been being too harsh on my own generation. Now I have Wild_Marker for Pessimist’s Exhibit A.
January 7th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
If by me you mean Ian, then yes.
Being mistaken for Ian is an honor.
January 7th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Weren’t you supposed to have quitted the Britney news? Somebody needs to go to reeeehaaaab.
January 7th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
HaHaHaHa! No problem.
January 7th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
BTW, thanks for hipping me to this story in the first place glendoor42. I was going to write about murdered children, but took this on instead.
January 7th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
The only person I dislike more than Dr. Phil is The Burger King. Now that I think about they kind of look a like. The main difference is I don’t wish death on Dr. Phil ,I do however, wish death on the The Burger King. He’s just fucking creepy and just well look him, interrupting football games, sneaking in peoples houses and getting in bed with them, peeping in peoples window and I would not be surprised if he was responsible for Kurt Cobain’s death.
January 7th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
I want you to start living as a gay woman.
January 7th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
YES to the Gorton’s fisherman.