For future reference, if someone at a party ever offers you meth, the ONLY proper response is to scream "NO," hit them in the face with a lamp, start running, and never ever stop.
Why? Because meth is the scariest fucking thing thats ever been unleashed on mankind. And quite honestly, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS. All I know about it is that the state of Montana put together one of the most effective ad campaigns Ive ever seen to convince me to fear it.
In honor of Halloween, and in order of the level of horror they impart, I proudly present the eight most Requiem for a Dream-like and a subtextual analysis of each.
8. "Friends"
Subtext: Taking meth destroys all sense of responsibility, and will dissolve all meaningful friendships you currently enjoy.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth makes you an extremely cautious, alert driver.
Simple Addition that Would Make the Video Hilarious: If at the end the shot widened to reveal that the girls friends left her at a Shakeys Pizza.
7. "Boyfriend"
Subtext: If you take meth, you will sleep with faceless middle-aged men at the behest of your enterprising boyfriend.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: If you take meth, youll get laid.
Simple Addition that Would Make the Video Hilarious: If instead of consoling his girlfriend with a stroke on the arm, the young man offered her the rest of a Diet Root Beer hed been drinking.
More horror after the jump.
6. "Mother"
Subtext: If you take meth, you will hit your mother and then lie about it in voiceover.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: If you take meth, youll dress in keen stonewash jeans, a swell vest, and have a trendy haircut.
Simple Addition that Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the framed photographs at the beginning were pictures of greyhounds dressed in deerstalker caps and smoking pipes.
5. "Junkie Den"
Subtext: Smoking meth makes everyone around you turn into cruel pseudo-zombies.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Smoking meth makes you popular.
Simple Addition that Would Make the Video Hilarious:If there were a dog in the background humping everything.4. "Jumped"
Subtext: Smoking meth is worse than getting killed with a cinder block.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth will give you a retrospective clarity on par with the wisest sages of our time.
Simple Addition that Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the bullies were played by the bully from Teen Wolf.
3. "Laundromat"
Subtext: Taking meth will make you a violent madman, able to knock a large man out with a single punch and frighten small children by simply screaming at them.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth will make you TRAVEL THROUGH TIME.
Simple Addition that Would Make the Video Hilarious: If instead of crying, the baby giggled uncontrollably when screamed at.
2. "Everything Else"
Subtext: DONT SMOKE METH! DONT FUCKING DO IT! AAAAAAGHHHH!
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Todays meth dealers are refreshingly honest.
Simple Addition that Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the dealer went on to introduce the girl to her meth apartment, meth swimming pool, meth toaster, meth part time job at a Starbucks, and meth night classes at a City College.
1. "Bathtub"
Subtext: If you take meth, MONSTERS WILL ATTACK YOU IN YOUR BATHROOM.
Less Obvious, Positive Subtext: Taking meth means you never have to shower again.
Simple Addition that Would Make the Video Hilarious: If the person on the other end of the phone conversation were revealed to be a Southern Civil War General.
In case your pants are still dry, here's a link to a Youtube gallery that has the rest of the ads. The first person who can explain to me why this Youtube user has collected all of the Montana Anti-Drug ads wins a free hit of meth.
are you kidding me?? prohibition? "some experience with the stuff" basically means you tried it once and think you know everything. PLEASE SPARE ME! it's bad. VERY, VERY BAD!! and you're probably lying if you're posting that shit on a website where people you don't even know can see it. yeah, some people have to work 60hrs a week. but they probably wouldn't if they were on fucking meth you retard! i hope you work 60 hours a week for the rest of your dumbass life cuz it'll keep your dumbass out of the fucking way. you don't know what you're talking about and you'd do the whole world a favor if you'd cut your tongue out of your head.
To all the people trying to suggest that Meth is in any way safe or a good idea, I'm sorry, but you are clearly either a meth dealer or seriously mentally retarded. The dangers of meth have nothing to do with prohibition, they are due to the fact that meth is a fucking dangerous drug. Any person who suggests otherwise is a fucking idiot. to the guy who claims he has used it, and it didn't fuck him up, I'd like to point out that you clearly state that the only reason you don't still do it is because you can't afford it. People that touch meth deserve every single bad thing that happens to them, because anyone who would ever touch meth is a complete and utter moron.
I had to go to an assembly about meth during school and they used about half of these. I thought they were pretty funny on thier own, especially the Meth-(insert object) commercial.
Was the "Meth-face" a stealth parody of "Poker-face"?
Also I'm pretty sure the guy in #7 has a condom in his hand at the end.
I have some experience with this stuff. I can't afford it any more so I don't take it. That's exactly what most people who've taken it end up having happen. In my case, it wasn't taking the drug that made me not able to afford it, it was a change in housing arrangements that landed me in a place that's a lot more expensive.
I didn't immediately go hogwild scrambling for money to go take more speed. None of my friends who took it ever did anything like this.
It's only somewhat addictive. Heroin is purely addictive. When you stop taking speed, all you get is miserably tired for about a week, maybe two. Heroin makes your whole body and mind and the system that they interact within completely shut down. There's a huge difference.
"GodlessLiberal" below does speak truth when he points out that a good reason not to take it is that meth labs aren't clean, professional places and sometimes, what you end up taking isn't the poison you actually wanted. Care to guess why this might be?
Drug prohibition, again. It's what causes nearly all the drug problems. This is not an exaggeration. When ephedrine was banned, meth cooks started messing around with other shit to replace it - and speed users just continued to take it anyway. What's the point of prohibiting drugs if the result is just going to be making them be worse for you?
In this day and age some people have to work 60 hour a week jobs (thankfully I am not one of them) and if they stopped taking speed they'd lose their jobs. Things shouldn't be this way, but that doesn't make them stop being so, anyway.
Are you kidding me? You're going on about people not knowing what they're talking about, yet you say all this bulls**t about heroin that you obviously haven't checked out. I've never done meth, so I'm not gonna compare how bad my drug is to yours. It's pretty juvenile to have your defense be; "well at least it's not as bad as ___!" I got off heroin a few months ago, but even before trying it I knew that getting off heroin can't kill you. Actually, without human error heroin is harmless. Withdrawal is up to 7 days of flu-like symptoms and there may be mental effects like depression that can last for a few months, but... causing a system shutdown? No. Oh, and 'purely addictive'? Cigarettes are more addictive than heroin. I used for about 2 months then stopped because the person selling it moved. I didn't scramble around in withdrawal looking for a fix, pretty much how you described your experience with meth.
Once more, I know nothing about meth, or what it's like. Say all you like about that, I'm not disagreeing about anything you said there. Just... the comparison bothers me.
@Totally: Yes, these did originate in Montana. I live there, and they are EVERYWHERE. Seriously. A bunch of them have been converted into billboards. Like: "Normal isn't thinking there are bugs under your skin. Meth is." And other terrifying things.
I hate these ads so much right now.
As to the questions I saw about what meth is . . . yes, it really is that destructive to your body, mainly because a lot of the people cooking it can't afford ephedrine or the over-the-counter drugs containing it and improvise with fun substitutes like road flares. No joke. Meth is basically any chemical crap you can get your hands on for cheap.
So yeah. I concur with the title of this article. DON'T. TAKE. METH. Especially because the sad thing is that even with its horrid, debilitating effects, it is so ridiculously addictive that when these ads were shown to test groups that had tried meth, they just sat there and laughed, then went off to get some more.
Did some "meth" in College, back when it was called speed, wrote my thesis high as a kite, it helped me graduate, prescription free, Just wasnt interested in continuing my relationship with uppers after that...
Meth is the little half-step above crack. It's what holds your hand on the way to the crack house basement where you'll be beaten and brutally sodomized by said faceless middle-aged men who contribute to the drug fund. After something like that, I think I would deserve a freaking diet root beer, don't you?
METH is the devil incarnate I know this from personal experience from being a hardcore speedfreak for over 25 yrs , WHAT EVER YOU DO DONT DO FUCKING METH!!!!!!!!!!
deadasdisco: As someone who grew up in Montana and lived there for close to twenty years, I can say that, yes, people DO in fact live in Montana. Granted, given its size and population, there is only an average of 6 people per square mile (actual fact). But still, people live there nonetheless.
Buckminster, you made as much sense as....well, a crack baby.
I've met crack babies, they are lanky, with small heads and big eyes.
"What?" thoroughly pwned you, and you just have to swallow that like you swallow every night.
And a very special "Booyah!" to Mr,What, for his reference to the oh so awesome Monkeysphere article. That article really did explain a lot of the suffering in this world.
Buckminister that is the most retarded thing Ive ever heard. It was insensitive, ill-informed, and not funny whatsoever (if that was what it was suppose to be). Im not trying to start a flame war or an arguement but I strongly disagree with your whole "crack babies are productive criminals" outlook. Ive met a few crack babies. They were stupid, and crippled because of the choices their parents made. And now they are making bad choices themselves because they have been raised in poverty and vice. Undoubtedly, they will turn to crime but I doubt they would be able to outsmart any reasonable police officer. "Productive criminals" you say? No offense but that title should be reserved for mafiosi and white-colered criminals. I am in no way siding with the government, but drugs are a threat to our already unstable (at the most) society and you cant seriously think they would be doing it for any other reason than to prevent our downfall. The government isnt just some face-less fascist daemon whom tries to keep us down. Yes, it still kinda sucks and is corrupt but I reccomend the "Monkey Sphere" article from cracked to explain that.
What I wanna know is where are all the damn "meth babies".
After Ollie North arranged for the importation of tons of coke, our government needed to demonize that very same substance. So they invented "crack babies". Remember how Time and every other neo-con paganda rag were showing America the damage iinflicted on all 'dem po' innocent little babies by those heathn, brain damaged crack addicts ?
Now meth is the drug chosen by the government propaganda machine to demonize but those incompetent morons forgot to include the "meth babies"! How come? I think the anti-drug guys probably realized they couldn't use the same ploy again since all those children grew up normally and now no one can even tell that they were once crack babies.
Fortunately those former crack babies were able to take their rightful place as part of criminal underclass If the crack babies had not become productive criminals the war on drugs could be over. Without their current illegal activities, all the people working for the justice system, the contract prisons and the former drug abusers now employed by the rehab industry might now be on welfare rolls or turned to crime themselves!
So I guess that's really the good news about the meth epidemic, huh?
These aren't just in Montana. I'm in Arizona, I'm a substance abuse counselor, and I got to watch a lot of these commercials as a sort of test run and give my input. I ridiculed them, I told them they were intense, but far too unrealistic. This article has brought to the forefront the sheer hilarity of these commercials. Meth is a nasty drug, but propaganda is at least as nasty.
I was crying after I read the Shakey's Pizza comment. Greatest statement ever.
Replyare you kidding me?? prohibition? "some experience with the stuff" basically means you tried it once and think you know everything. PLEASE SPARE ME! it's bad. VERY, VERY BAD!! and you're probably lying if you're posting that shit on a website where people you don't even know can see it. yeah, some people have to work 60hrs a week. but they probably wouldn't if they were on fucking meth you retard! i hope you work 60 hours a week for the rest of your dumbass life cuz it'll keep your dumbass out of the fucking way. you don't know what you're talking about and you'd do the whole world a favor if you'd cut your tongue out of your head.
Replyhe doesn't need his toungue to type dude.
Fail troll fail.
To all the people trying to suggest that Meth is in any way safe or a good idea, I'm sorry, but you are clearly either a meth dealer or seriously mentally retarded. The dangers of meth have nothing to do with prohibition, they are due to the fact that meth is a fucking dangerous drug. Any person who suggests otherwise is a fucking idiot. to the guy who claims he has used it, and it didn't fuck him up, I'd like to point out that you clearly state that the only reason you don't still do it is because you can't afford it. People that touch meth deserve every single bad thing that happens to them, because anyone who would ever touch meth is a complete and utter moron.
ReplyI had to go to an assembly about meth during school and they used about half of these. I thought they were pretty funny on thier own, especially the Meth-(insert object) commercial.
ReplyWas the "Meth-face" a stealth parody of "Poker-face"?
Also I'm pretty sure the guy in #7 has a condom in his hand at the end.
The idiocy of prohibition strikes again.
ReplyI have some experience with this stuff. I can't afford it any more so I don't take it. That's exactly what most people who've taken it end up having happen. In my case, it wasn't taking the drug that made me not able to afford it, it was a change in housing arrangements that landed me in a place that's a lot more expensive.
I didn't immediately go hogwild scrambling for money to go take more speed. None of my friends who took it ever did anything like this.
It's only somewhat addictive. Heroin is purely addictive. When you stop taking speed, all you get is miserably tired for about a week, maybe two. Heroin makes your whole body and mind and the system that they interact within completely shut down. There's a huge difference.
"GodlessLiberal" below does speak truth when he points out that a good reason not to take it is that meth labs aren't clean, professional places and sometimes, what you end up taking isn't the poison you actually wanted. Care to guess why this might be?
Drug prohibition, again. It's what causes nearly all the drug problems. This is not an exaggeration. When ephedrine was banned, meth cooks started messing around with other shit to replace it - and speed users just continued to take it anyway. What's the point of prohibiting drugs if the result is just going to be making them be worse for you?
In this day and age some people have to work 60 hour a week jobs (thankfully I am not one of them) and if they stopped taking speed they'd lose their jobs. Things shouldn't be this way, but that doesn't make them stop being so, anyway.
Are you kidding me? You're going on about people not knowing what they're talking about, yet you say all this bulls**t about heroin that you obviously haven't checked out. I've never done meth, so I'm not gonna compare how bad my drug is to yours. It's pretty juvenile to have your defense be; "well at least it's not as bad as ___!" I got off heroin a few months ago, but even before trying it I knew that getting off heroin can't kill you. Actually, without human error heroin is harmless. Withdrawal is up to 7 days of flu-like symptoms and there may be mental effects like depression that can last for a few months, but... causing a system shutdown? No. Oh, and 'purely addictive'? Cigarettes are more addictive than heroin. I used for about 2 months then stopped because the person selling it moved. I didn't scramble around in withdrawal looking for a fix, pretty much how you described your experience with meth.
Once more, I know nothing about meth, or what it's like. Say all you like about that, I'm not disagreeing about anything you said there. Just... the comparison bothers me.
@Totally: Yes, these did originate in Montana. I live there, and they are EVERYWHERE. Seriously. A bunch of them have been converted into billboards. Like: "Normal isn't thinking there are bugs under your skin. Meth is." And other terrifying things.
ReplyI hate these ads so much right now.
As to the questions I saw about what meth is . . . yes, it really is that destructive to your body, mainly because a lot of the people cooking it can't afford ephedrine or the over-the-counter drugs containing it and improvise with fun substitutes like road flares. No joke. Meth is basically any chemical crap you can get your hands on for cheap.
So yeah. I concur with the title of this article. DON'T. TAKE. METH. Especially because the sad thing is that even with its horrid, debilitating effects, it is so ridiculously addictive that when these ads were shown to test groups that had tried meth, they just sat there and laughed, then went off to get some more.
Did some "meth" in College, back when it was called speed, wrote my thesis high as a kite, it helped me graduate, prescription free, Just wasnt interested in continuing my relationship with uppers after that...
ReplyWhy did they decide to give a portuguese name (Nuno at 0:18) to the guy in "mother"? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
ReplyDay 4: I've not had food for 3 hours. I'm so hungry
ReplyEat Jenkins
Meth is the little half-step above crack. It's what holds your hand on the way to the crack house basement where you'll be beaten and brutally sodomized by said faceless middle-aged men who contribute to the drug fund. After something like that, I think I would deserve a freaking diet root beer, don't you?
ReplyI FIGURED IT OUT. I'll post it after I get back from getting my meth... meth.... yeah. Ill be back later....
ReplyThese commercials air in my state too. Which isn't Montana.
ReplyDid they originate in Montana though? Now I want to know. Heh.
METH is the devil incarnate I know this from personal experience from being a hardcore speedfreak for over 25 yrs , WHAT EVER YOU DO DONT DO FUCKING METH!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyGotta love government propaganda. We have lots of it in the UK, too.
ReplyFunny shit.
deadasdisco: As someone who grew up in Montana and lived there for close to twenty years, I can say that, yes, people DO in fact live in Montana. Granted, given its size and population, there is only an average of 6 people per square mile (actual fact). But still, people live there nonetheless.
ReplyHahaha,
ReplyBuckminster, you made as much sense as....well, a crack baby.
I've met crack babies, they are lanky, with small heads and big eyes.
"What?" thoroughly pwned you, and you just have to swallow that like you swallow every night.
And a very special "Booyah!" to Mr,What, for his reference to the oh so awesome Monkeysphere article. That article really did explain a lot of the suffering in this world.
Buckminister that is the most retarded thing Ive ever heard. It was insensitive, ill-informed, and not funny whatsoever (if that was what it was suppose to be). Im not trying to start a flame war or an arguement but I strongly disagree with your whole "crack babies are productive criminals" outlook. Ive met a few crack babies. They were stupid, and crippled because of the choices their parents made. And now they are making bad choices themselves because they have been raised in poverty and vice. Undoubtedly, they will turn to crime but I doubt they would be able to outsmart any reasonable police officer. "Productive criminals" you say? No offense but that title should be reserved for mafiosi and white-colered criminals. I am in no way siding with the government, but drugs are a threat to our already unstable (at the most) society and you cant seriously think they would be doing it for any other reason than to prevent our downfall. The government isnt just some face-less fascist daemon whom tries to keep us down. Yes, it still kinda sucks and is corrupt but I reccomend the "Monkey Sphere" article from cracked to explain that.
ReplyWhat I wanna know is where are all the damn "meth babies".
ReplyAfter Ollie North arranged for the importation of tons of coke, our government needed to demonize that very same substance. So they invented "crack babies". Remember how Time and every other neo-con paganda rag were showing America the damage iinflicted on all 'dem po' innocent little babies by those heathn, brain damaged crack addicts ?
Now meth is the drug chosen by the government propaganda machine to demonize but those incompetent morons forgot to include the "meth babies"! How come? I think the anti-drug guys probably realized they couldn't use the same ploy again since all those children grew up normally and now no one can even tell that they were once crack babies.
Fortunately those former crack babies were able to take their rightful place as part of criminal underclass If the crack babies had not become productive criminals the war on drugs could be over. Without their current illegal activities, all the people working for the justice system, the contract prisons and the former drug abusers now employed by the rehab industry might now be on welfare rolls or turned to crime themselves!
So I guess that's really the good news about the meth epidemic, huh?
buck futt
These aren't just in Montana. I'm in Arizona, I'm a substance abuse counselor, and I got to watch a lot of these commercials as a sort of test run and give my input. I ridiculed them, I told them they were intense, but far too unrealistic. This article has brought to the forefront the sheer hilarity of these commercials. Meth is a nasty drug, but propaganda is at least as nasty.
Replysimple additions that completely kill the shock of the ad you just watched because you'll now think of them everytime you see the commercial
Reply...not like that's necessarily a bad thing