Comments on: Don’t Be Like Jessica Simpson: A Lesson For Young Girls Everywhere

By: LilMcGil

LilMcGil — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 01:37:43 +0000

@Shakes

I will admit you are a funny motherfucker. Laughed out loud serveral times.

By: pypsume

pypsume — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 00:04:14 +0000

Почему все лавры достанутся автору, а мы будем также его ненавидеть?

By: asugar

asugar — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 10:08:06 +0000

Barbara streisand is a great singer?

Disgusting, horrid lies.

Jessica is much less annoying to listen to than that whore, and she, even chubby, doesn’t trigger your gag reflex, which is more than you can say about streisand.

Also, simplly saying that you think she is a good singer makes you gay. Sorry. If you have a girlfriend or significant other, break up with her, because you are both living a lie.

By: Kate

Kate — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 15:59:23 +0000

This is heroic. Thanks, Gladstone!

By: Maggadan

Maggadan — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:25:00 +0000

Brilliant.

By: Jo

Jo — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 03:47:33 +0000

I actually appreciate the point you made about women here (and people in general, of course). Don’t be useless. Such a good point. I never thought I’d agree with something on cracked as much as I did with this (except maybe about the article on Glenn Beck’s comedy show).

By: DH

DH — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:43:03 +0000

A singer is ALL she’s known for over here. A commercial, sugary, cheesey pop singer with no free will when it comes to artistic expression, controlled by the record company who ownes her and the technical fools who create her voice on their iMacs…

By: ShorinBJ

ShorinBJ — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 03:50:13 +0000

Uh, I’ll go along with terrible actress, and she may or may not be all that bright. Fat? Eye of the beholder, I guess. Untalented? Not as a singer. She’s got some serious talent in that area, backed by extensive training and a five octave range.

By: Blah

Blah — Sat, 30 May 2009 17:16:00 +0000

The most annoying thing about Jessica Simpson (and American obsession with overweight celebrities that have lost their glamour simply because of the supposed tragedy involved with that) is the fact that this jumped from being mere tabloid fodder to the national news. Before this, I wouldn’t have been able to pick her out of a line of pop tarts; now, to see her face is to hear the caterwailing of a gajillion sympathetic morons and sycophants who believe that the criteria for talent is ‘a size one, and a d cup if possible’.

Due to this, Jessica is easily as big a draw for the crowd who treats weight loss as a religion as skinny Jessica was for the college age boys who salivated over her posters. Naturally, other ’stars’ like Kirstie Alley (wasn’t she in a Star Trek movie once?) and Melissa Joan Hart (who? Oh yeah, the witch with the funny metrosexual cat) have jumped on the bandwagon. Reality shows, blah, blah, blah, humans are meat, we get it. Not intelligent meat. Larger or bigger packages of the same meat.

Does she act well? It doesn’t seem to matter; she looks good. Does she sing well? It doesn’t seem to matter; people were downing her for being a bit heavier, therefore she looks good. Then she’ll come back and lose it all and show them, and if she doesn’t, well…there’s always Kirstie Alley, or Carnie Wilson (who has long ceased to be a musician in any aspect and is now something of a sideshow in an epic battle against the bulge.)

Our TV is pure id; it’s either sex or its some crap about our collective guilt over eating far too much, the drama played out with some boring, sloe-eyed, wailing pop star who can’t even remember the mind-numbing, redundant lyrics she’s supposed to spout.

Is it possible that it’s just mad cow disease?

By: Brian

Brian — Fri, 29 May 2009 18:40:30 +0000

Just a moment of truth and levity here, people. Take a look at the cover: http://coverawards.com/2009/02/02/news_president_barack_obama_on_jessica_simpson_39891/

Barack Obama probably could care less about Jessica Simpson, and probably had no idea about what is going on in her life. Matt Lauer sticks the cover in Obama’s face and asks him about it, and he comments on the caption of the picture that is covering him up. Seriously, folks - he is not commenting on anything other than the caption on a tabloid. Find something meaningful to get upset about, like maybe poverty, pollution, war, or unadulterated greed and consumption.