Awesome Video Of The Day
A Very Special (un)Paid Advertisement From Apple
I drank the Apple punch last September and picked up a shiny new MacBook. I’d been a PC user since I was like 8 years old (386 Packard Bell1, anyone?), and I have to admit it was kind of a big switch for me. It’s been pretty great so far, but I have to admit that Apple still annoys the crap out of me from time to time. The irritating commercials and the it’s-not-a-computer-it’s-a-lifestyle fanboyism can be a little much for me sometimes, especially during Macworld season, but I’m usually willing to turn a blind eye to all that crap. Know why? Because I’ve had my MacBook for a year and half and I’ve never had to defrag it, that’s why. I’m no Mac purist (I also have an Xbox 3602) - I just like my laptop.
Enter Apple’s NEW laptop, the MacBook Air. It sure is thin, isn’t it? It can even fit inside of an envelope! You must be wondering how they crammed so many features into such a thin, slick-looking laptop. It comes loaded with a headphone jack, a single USB port, AND a micro-DVI port. Can you believe that?! Wow! That means you can hook up your headphones, a USB device, and output the video… AT THE SAME TIME. The future is now! Huzzah!
But let’s not forget that 80 GB hard drive they put in there! That might not sound like a lot at first, but you have to understand something: the MacBook Air doesn’t come with any sort of internal disc drive - you have to buy a separate, external drive for an extra $100 and hook it up through the USB port. That might sound like a pain in the ass, but it’s actually a very clever disc space optimization strategy: by making it a huge pain in the ass to install software or rip CDs and DVDs, that 80 GB hard drive will be a lot harder to fill up. Thanks, Apple! You guys really thought of everything!
And all this for the low price of (starting at) $1799? Have I died and gone to heaven?!
So now you’re probably wondering why a computer with a features set more befitting of a budget laptop is so unbelievably expensive. I was thinking the same thing, but then I realized something: it can fit inside of an envelope. Can YOUR laptop fit inside of an envelope? No? Wow. That must suck. How do you send files to coworkers at work if you can’t fit your laptop inside of an interoffice envelope? You’re living in the past. The future is now, and it doesn’t involve pesky little things like disc drives, impressive feature sets or reasonable pricing.
Nope - the future is all about COMPUTERS THAT CAN FIT INSIDE OF A FUCKING ENVELOPE.
1 If you remember the name, then you might be surprised to know that Packard Bell STILL EXISTS.
2 Gamertag: Hypocrticalross - Halo 3, anyone?
This entry was posted on Thursday, January 17th, 2008 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Advertising, Apple, Macworld, Nooners, Video. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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September 24th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
This laptop seems to be really ahead of its time…
The Powerglove was ahead of its time as well…
July 30th, 2009 at 11:40 am
at last the information i needed thank you.
June 12th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
I was really looking forward to the new 15″ laptop model….
Apple, You removed the express card slot!
REALLY DISAPPOINTING!
I thought it was a joke but you actually replaced the express card slot with an SD slot.
Apple invented the video pro segment for computers… just when P2 (panasonic), SxS(sony/sandisc) are really taking off in the broadcast world (every ones buying sony ex3’s) you remove the enabling technology!
I now will be looking for alternate solution not involving mac and therefore AVID suddenly looks good again because the computers that support AVID support me, the video professional…. p2 SxS, express SSD’s.
This is a marketing cock up of the same magnitude as removing firewire… or Apple Lisa!
Now I believe that a cynical marketing department is running Apple… you enable a whole segment then you remove the enabling technology… this is not some fading technology like floppy discs.
SxS and P2 have become/becoming industry standard… the 15″ laptop being the most common piece of equipment on a shoot… not anymore, it has an SD slot…. Jeeze!… the competition must be guffawing!
I’ll spend my stimulus money elsewhere.
January 25th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
battlefield bad company
April 24th, 2008 at 7:58 am
I WILL TAKE YOU ON THAT CHALLENGE, HYPOCRITICALROSS, AND YOU WILL probably destroy me, I suck at Halo online. COD4 is where it’s at.
March 2nd, 2008 at 11:46 pm
The only thing innovative about the Air is that you’re able to leech other computer’s drives. Both Sony and Sharp released ultrathin notebooks in 2004, so not much innovation in the whole size area. Even then the Sharp was cheaper.
February 7th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
@glendoor…was that documentary ‘Pirates of Silicon Valley’? It talked about how he wouldn’t let his employees leave and they worked 12 hour shifts and other hilariously evil stuff.
Also since it seems to be popular, I was exposed to the windows 3.1 at home and apple pc’s at preschool.
February 2nd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Windows Vista anytime upgrade…
yes indeed……
January 22nd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
286 IBM personal pc, 4 megs of ram and upgradable to 8 megs!!! also came with an impessive 14 inch monochrome monitor!!! Ha! Ha!…..
I would have killed to have a 386…
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:19 am
Steve Jobs want you to be lulled into a false sense of security while computing. It will make his attempt at world domination easier. Bill Gates knows this and want your use of a Microsoft product to be an adventure, so when Steve jobs and his apple minions make their move Bill Gates has prepared you and you will will be ready.
January 22nd, 2008 at 9:19 am
Macs were the first to scrap the floppy drive, which at the time seemed premature. In hindsight, there was nothing wrong with that, and Jobs was pushing out unique, small-form desktops that were ahead of their time. Here they have released a super-thin laptop with no optical drive. But, to help you along, you can leech another computer’s drive, or buy a $100 external drive. Really folks, this is not the end of the world. In 5 or 6 years you’ll get it.
And as for Steve Jobs being a dick, at least he is nice enough to make sure that the macbook under my fingers works exceptionally well, and is secure. Bill Gates may be a philanthropist, but how could anyone with a conscience release Vista unto the masses. Even before its release it was stated on the Microsoft website that Vista would be invulnerable to 1/3 of the known Windows viruses. So two-thirds of all viruses, viruses that were never intended for Vista, would be able to cause harm. Unbelievable.
January 22nd, 2008 at 5:31 am
With not a whole hell of a lot to do, either. I wouldn’t even want to watch me closely, it would be boring as hell. Just sitting there watching a injured, fat, bald man, peck one handed on the computer all day, while he waits until he can take another pain pill just in time for mythbuster reruns to come on. Yeah that sound like loads of fun there Steve. WoooHooo!!
Mr. Jobs you need to get a life.
January 22nd, 2008 at 5:22 am
More proof that you’re a dick and not only a dick, a sick dick. So there.
January 22nd, 2008 at 2:06 am
I’m watching you closely, glendoor42.
January 20th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
I once watched a documentary, about the history of computer industry up through about 1997. Steve Jobs was one of the commentators that they would interview during the segments. This was the post, been fired from Apple for running the company into the ground and for being a huge dick and pre hired back to apple as pretty much a figurehead and introduction of the ipod, Steve Jobs. He came across as bitter, hateful and jealous as hell. Anytime he was asked about Apple he only talked about how he pulled that company fully formed from his ass, it was fine when he was there and only since he left hard there been any problems. He pretty much wouldn’t even admit to being fired.
When asked about Microsoft he showed even better what a wonderful human being he is by saying that they made cheap crap and have no class. He then implied that anybody that buys Microsoft products is stupid. They later in the show told Paul Allen what Steve Jobs had said and he replied “Oh really, huh, well that’s his opinion and his opinion have pretty much led to him not having a job now hasn’t it”. So in my opinion Steve Jobs is a Dick. therefore Mac sux just by their association to Steve Jobs.
January 20th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I had a PB 386 too. What a blast from the past. Also had a Commodore 64 and an Apple IIc (had 128k RAM and a floppy disk that you slipped in from the side…portable if you didn’t mind carrying around 50 pounds of shit in the suitcase w/shoulder strap it came with). And let’s not forget the Radio Shack TRS-80 with a cassette drive and a whopping 16k. Jesus, I’m getting old.
January 20th, 2008 at 10:42 am
MsCndy, this is exactly why people hate Apple fans. When someone points out a flaw or failing of an Apple product, it’s not actually a direct attack on you, and amazingly, it’s sometimes even true.
January 19th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Jay - that’s something I’ve been wondering about, actually. On my MacBook I can use two fingers to scroll or to simulate a right click - doesn’t that mean that the MacBook touchpad is “multitouch”? I could be wrong, but if both the MacBook and the Air have multitouch capabilities and they only implement the iPhone-like interface (pinch, turn, etc) in the Air, then this is yet another example of Apple arbitrarily locking hardware functionality to diversify their product line.
Also: fart.
January 19th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Huh…what about the multi-touch interface built into the touchpad? Surely that tacked a bigger number onto the price.
January 19th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Did you notice that on http://www.packardbell.com/ the computer they are advertising is a slim white notebook with the description “For those who like apples.” Weird.
January 19th, 2008 at 12:54 am
My first computer was an Apple 2e (I got it in 1995 or ‘96, go me). After 11 years, I’m finally going back with the new MacBook I ordered, which will hopefully make multimedia projects a lot easier to produce. Although, this was my convo with the computer guy at my local campus computer store:
Me: Will the MacBook be able to support things like Quark and InDesign?
Guy: MacBook Air or MacBook Pro would probably be better.
Me: I don’t think I want to spend that much on a laptop.
Guy: But, the MacBook air will work a lot better and be easier to carry around.
Me: I don’t know, do I have to upgrade to a DVDRW?
Guy: Oh, it doesn’t come with a disc drive at all.
(I started out the conversation by telling him I needed the 2.2 GHz because I needed the upgrade to the DVDRW to make DVDs with.)
I get a discount through my campus computer store, so my MacBook will be less than the laptop I have now, especially when you consider I’ve shelled out $600 in the past four years to get the same part replaced time and time again.
January 18th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Packard Bell 386 with 128 Mb HD and 2 Mb of RAM (later upgraded to 4, then a whopping 8 — FUCK YEAH!!!). Oh yeah, and a sweet ass 25MHz processor to run Windows 3.1!! Fuck you Vista!
January 18th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
I’m not going to lie, the first thing I thought when I saw that lil’ laptop come out of that envelope was “HOT.”
January 18th, 2008 at 9:26 am
Wow, I can see the arguments of apple (about not having an optical drive, I barely use mine anymore, I barely burn anything, I don’t listen to CD’s on my computer, they have a point), but I’m with you. The MacBook Air should be cheap, at least the same price as the MacBook, it’s basically the same thing, scimmed down.
Someone up there was writing about being “elitist” when having an iPhone. I bought one 2 weeks ago, and I sold it already again. The shittiest smartphone (or shall we call it dumbphone) I’ve ever owned. It’s a good toy, and the chicks dig it. But unless the investors I meet wanna date me at the sight of the iPhone, I choose to get a real business tool!!!
From a long long Mac Fan (and yes, I will critic Apple as well, not like every other Mac Fan out there).
January 18th, 2008 at 8:47 am
I miss the days when the closest thing to an operating system was dosshell.
January 18th, 2008 at 8:39 am
MsCndy, gtfo.
APPLE just happens to be great at using gimmicks to get people to buy overpriced shit!
I can buy a laptop with the exact same hardware specs as your cute little Macbook Air AND, perhaps, an actual Ethernet port and a couple more USB ports and other USEFUL FEATURES, SUCH AS THE ABILITY TO PLAY A CD WITHOUT NEEDING ANY EXTERNAL BAGGAGE*, for about $600 locally. You call it revolutionary, I call it overpriced garbage.
* something that is, apparently, completely useless to the people of the future
January 18th, 2008 at 1:17 am
The MacBook Air may not be what you are looking for but Apple is setting standards that all other computer companies will follow… If you think that $1799 is expensive, then I’m sure you’re not the person that HAS to have the first new tech item on the block. When VCRs and DVD players first came out, they were around $1000… Now you can buy them for under $100… Technology is ADVANCING people, APPLE just happens to be the company setting the standards… Get used to it, APPLE is here to stay!!
January 17th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
COMMENTS FROM THE FUTURE!!!!!
@Wild_Marker don’t worry Apple will fix it, they will introduce the iGun.
January 17th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Oh, crap, we’ve got future commenting again.
January 17th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Color monitors are for suckers. Green on black should be all you need.
January 17th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
You guys are totaly missing the point. And the point is, that in probably one or two two years we’ll have, say, MacBook Wallet, and it will cost so much that wallet stealing will get to rates never heard before. Alternatively, more people will carry guns to ensure nobody steals their wallet. Either way, we lose. And either way, Apple wins.
January 17th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Ross- why the FUCK do your videos just keep getting SMALLER AND SMALLER?!!!?
January 17th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
VIC-20 anyone? 5K RAM!!! Cassette drive!! 16 colors!!
January 17th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
January 17th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
I really enjoyed Colored-Cracked also, although I sometimes didn’t get the jokes and the audience was too loud.
January 17th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Colored-Cracked only has two items in each list but dear Lord, they worked hard for those two items.
January 17th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Thank God we’ve conquered racism forever.
January 17th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Actually, Ian, I did. I had to go to Colored-Cracked.com
January 17th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
And to think that only a half-century ago Mustafa would’ve been forced to post his comment through the back door of a separate and unequal Cracked. Dr. King’s dream lives on!
January 17th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
I loved my 386 Packard Bell with its EGA Monitor!
January 17th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I wish I could own a Mac… but I’m African-American, and they don’t want me to have one
January 17th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
I’m no Apple fan, but they did make it easy to install software on the Air. You can drop the disc in any Apple or Windows PC on the same network, install a little app, and the disc shows up in the Finder on the MacBook Air. Then, you can use it to install software as if the drive was connected to the Air. They have a demo on the site, using it to install Office Mac 2008 from a Vista PC.
Of course, this does nothing for watching DVDs, but it does help with installing software.
I would never buy an Air myself - what need is it filling? - but the Remote Disc stuff is pretty neat.
January 17th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
FINALLY somebody has the gaul to stand up and call Apple pretentious!
Ross, is it bad to laugh at people with (possible) learning disabilities on the internet now? This week’s videos have been surprisingly high brow.
January 17th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
3200 for a laptop, huh? I don’t know… Will it make me as cool (read: elitist) as an iPhone would?
January 17th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
If you want it with a 64 GB solid-state hard drive it will set you back $3,098. Tack on the external hard drive and that brings it up to $3,198. Before tax. Your joke actually isn’t that far off, Mick.
January 17th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
I think 1799 is a little too cheap for a laptop that can fit inside an envelope. Why not just charge 4000 dollars? People will buy it no matter what.
How long until Apple and Google officially combine to rule the internet? I’m staying off the grid, man.