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Does Apple Thinks Its Shit Don't Stink? The Daily Nooner (EST)!

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I drank the Apple punch last September and picked up a shiny new MacBook. I'd been a PC user since I was like 8 years old (386 Packard Bell1, anyone?), and I have to admit it was kind of a big switch for me. It's been pretty great so far, but I have to admit that Apple still annoys the crap out of me from time to time. The irritating commercials and the it's-not-a-computer-it's-a-lifestyle fanboyism can be a little much for me sometimes, especially during Macworld season, but I'm usually willing to turn a blind eye to all that crap. Know why? Because I've had my MacBook for a year and half and I've never had to defrag it, that's why. I'm no Mac purist (I also have an Xbox 3602) - I just like my laptop.

Enter Apple's NEW laptop, the MacBook Air. It sure is thin, isn't it? It can even fit inside of an envelope! You must be wondering how they crammed so many features into such a thin, slick-looking laptop. It comes loaded with a headphone jack, a single USB port, AND a micro-DVI port. Can you believe that?! Wow! That means you can hook up your headphones, a USB device, and output the video... AT THE SAME TIME. The future is now! Huzzah!

But let's not forget that 80 GB hard drive they put in there! That might not sound like a lot at first, but you have to understand something: the MacBook Air doesn't come with any sort of internal disc drive - you have to buy a separate, external drive for an extra $100 and hook it up through the USB port. That might sound like a pain in the ass, but it's actually a very clever disc space optimization strategy: by making it a huge pain in the ass to install software or rip CDs and DVDs, that 80 GB hard drive will be a lot harder to fill up. Thanks, Apple! You guys really thought of everything!

And all this for the low price of (starting at) $1799? Have I died and gone to heaven?!

So now you're probably wondering why a computer with a features set more befitting of a budget laptop is so unbelievably expensive. I was thinking the same thing, but then I realized something: it can fit inside of an envelope. Can YOUR laptop fit inside of an envelope? No? Wow. That must suck. How do you send files to coworkers at work if you can't fit your laptop inside of an interoffice envelope? You're living in the past. The future is now, and it doesn't involve pesky little things like disc drives, impressive feature sets or reasonable pricing.

Nope - the future is all about COMPUTERS THAT CAN FIT INSIDE OF A FUCKING ENVELOPE.

1 If you remember the name, then you might be surprised to know that Packard Bell STILL EXISTS.2 Gamertag: Hypocrticalross - Halo 3, anyone?

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