Comments on: Cracked.com has solved the bailout! http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackedcom-has-solved-the-bailout/ The CRACKED.com take on the world, in America's oldest weblog, since 1958. Fri, 09 Jan 2009 23:07:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: eL http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackedcom-has-solved-the-bailout/#comment-52934 eL Mon, 27 Oct 2008 05:11:50 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=1850#comment-52934 Here's an idea.... legalize marijuana. We're sitting on an instant success here people! It would create jobs AND cash flow. Not to mention, it would be the first step for California to secede from the Union. Let's make it happen! Here’s an idea…. legalize marijuana. We’re sitting on an instant success here people! It would create jobs AND cash flow.

Not to mention, it would be the first step for California to secede from the Union. Let’s make it happen!

]]> By: GKing http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackedcom-has-solved-the-bailout/#comment-52089 GKing Fri, 17 Oct 2008 03:22:42 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=1850#comment-52089 A chain of events: Is that lady behind the huge cock naked? Is she wearing...socks? (Zooms in MS Paint) OH GAWD A DUDE! A chain of events:

Is that lady behind the huge cock naked?
Is she wearing…socks?
(Zooms in MS Paint)
OH GAWD A DUDE!

]]> By: oneshoe http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackedcom-has-solved-the-bailout/#comment-51013 oneshoe Fri, 10 Oct 2008 04:55:53 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=1850#comment-51013 its just a damn good thing they loaded the bill with more of our money so it would pass since the all-wise Bush insisted WE HAVE TO DO THIS NOW! FUCKERS DO IT NOW!! NOW!! they all said no, and we said yay! then they said, oh yeah fuck you guys and passed it. otherwise, the market might not have continued to collapse the way it has in the days since it passed and... um... well, luckily for me i've been unemployed for months and drained all of my money out of the market BEFORE it tanked! woo hoo! now, im broke, but it took me almost a week longer to go broke because my $700 was in my wallet and not on its way to being worth $400 in mutual funds... somehow i think i'm still fucked here... if i wasn't so fucking worried about cleaning up to get a job i coulda bought pot instead of beer and at least i'd be stoned and horny instead of being drunk and impotent. speaking of impotent, the speaker of the treasury admitted that they pulled the $700 billion number out of their asses, then she said "FUCK YOU IMPOTENT DRUNK BROKE MOTHERFUCKERS" if the government has done one thing well in our lifetimes, it's keeping marijuana out of the hands of responsible unemployed adults and in the hands of middle school kids everywhere. its just a damn good thing they loaded the bill with more of our money so it would pass since the all-wise Bush insisted WE HAVE TO DO THIS NOW! FUCKERS DO IT NOW!! NOW!! they all said no, and we said yay! then they said, oh yeah fuck you guys and passed it. otherwise, the market might not have continued to collapse the way it has in the days since it passed and… um… well, luckily for me i’ve been unemployed for months and drained all of my money out of the market BEFORE it tanked! woo hoo! now, im broke, but it took me almost a week longer to go broke because my $700 was in my wallet and not on its way to being worth $400 in mutual funds… somehow i think i’m still fucked here… if i wasn’t so fucking worried about cleaning up to get a job i coulda bought pot instead of beer and at least i’d be stoned and horny instead of being drunk and impotent. speaking of impotent, the speaker of the treasury admitted that they pulled the $700 billion number out of their asses, then she said “FUCK YOU IMPOTENT DRUNK BROKE MOTHERFUCKERS” if the government has done one thing well in our lifetimes, it’s keeping marijuana out of the hands of responsible unemployed adults and in the hands of middle school kids everywhere.

]]> By: Feste http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackedcom-has-solved-the-bailout/#comment-49977 Feste Sat, 04 Oct 2008 01:46:11 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=1850#comment-49977 What would I do with $4,597? Give it back to the government in the form of paying off some of my school loans. What would I do with $4,597?

Give it back to the government in the form of paying off some of my school loans.

]]> By: notLeftorRight http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackedcom-has-solved-the-bailout/#comment-49896 notLeftorRight Fri, 03 Oct 2008 17:04:28 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=1850#comment-49896 $700 billion is a lot of money. Especially when you’re giving it away. But why should we? Is saving large corporations the way to save the economy? I have a better way. According to the US Census bureau (see here: http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/STTable?_bm=y&-geo_id=01000US&-qr_name=ACS_2006_EST_G00_S2301&-ds_name=ACS_2006_EST_G00_) there are 234,243,963 Americans above the age of 16. Out of that potential workforce, only 65% are actually workers. The rest are retired, disabled, or unable to work for other reasons. This leaves 152,258,576 Americans who are either working, or looking to replace the job they just lost. Now, divide that $700 billion amongst our 152,258,576 work force in whole dollars and what does each American get? I’ll tell you. $4,597. That number should be the rallying cry that goes up around the country. “Where’s my $4,597?” we should say. It is, after all, my money. I’ve already paid it to the government, who now wants to hand it over to AIG and the like. Why can’t I have it back? Show me someone who says that each working American getting $4,597 would not help our national economy as well as the global economy, and I’ll show you someone who is lying to herself. What would you do with $4,597? $700 billion is a lot of money. Especially when you’re giving it away. But why should we? Is saving large corporations the way to save the economy? I have a better way.

According to the US Census bureau

(see here: http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/STTable?_bm=y&-geo_id=01000US&-qr_name=ACS_2006_EST_G00_S2301&-ds_name=ACS_2006_EST_G00_)

there are 234,243,963 Americans above the age of 16. Out of that potential workforce, only 65% are actually workers. The rest are retired, disabled, or unable to work for other reasons. This leaves 152,258,576 Americans who are either working, or looking to replace the job they just lost.

Now, divide that $700 billion amongst our 152,258,576 work force in whole dollars and what does each American get? I’ll tell you.

$4,597.

That number should be the rallying cry that goes up around the country. “Where’s my $4,597?” we should say. It is, after all, my money. I’ve already paid it to the government, who now wants to hand it over to AIG and the like. Why can’t I have it back? Show me someone who says that each working American getting $4,597 would not help our national economy as well as the global economy, and I’ll show you someone who is lying to herself.

What would you do with $4,597?

]]> By: countdookshoot http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackedcom-has-solved-the-bailout/#comment-49576 countdookshoot Thu, 02 Oct 2008 20:44:53 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=1850#comment-49576 Fuck wall street and fuck the guv'ment. Our tax dollars should not be spent to make all the rich fuckers lives easier. Maybe we should just change the rules to monopoly and call our friends who aren't playing with me and aunt ruthie and ask them for a loan when Ruthie forecloses on my hotels. This is America and we can get through this without giving any more power to the guv'ment and without bailing out wall street. We are still the largest, richest nation in the world and every one talks shit about how crappy we are. Go live somewhere else and make your life better if you don't like it here, but don't try canada or mexico... their immigration laws are way to tough, you might never get in. Fuck wall street and fuck the guv’ment. Our tax dollars should not be spent to make all the rich fuckers lives easier.
Maybe we should just change the rules to monopoly and call our friends who aren’t playing with me and aunt ruthie and ask them for a loan when Ruthie forecloses on my hotels. This is America and we can get through this without giving any more power to the guv’ment and without bailing out wall street. We are still the largest, richest nation in the world and every one talks shit about how crappy we are. Go live somewhere else and make your life better if you don’t like it here, but don’t try canada or mexico… their immigration laws are way to tough, you might never get in.

]]> By: kingmonkey http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackedcom-has-solved-the-bailout/#comment-49569 kingmonkey Thu, 02 Oct 2008 20:12:23 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=1850#comment-49569 Conspiracy Theory: I assume this crash has been instigated so that many banks can be purchased by the few strong ones, thereby further consolidating the powers of the illuminati-style world rulers. Fucking reptoids. Conspiracy Theory: I assume this crash has been instigated so that many banks can be purchased by the few strong ones, thereby further consolidating the powers of the illuminati-style world rulers.

Fucking reptoids.

]]> By: Wallsy http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackedcom-has-solved-the-bailout/#comment-49533 Wallsy Thu, 02 Oct 2008 06:35:14 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=1850#comment-49533 OK, now I've read the post, and it was great. The now page layout still sucks though. OK, now I’ve read the post, and it was great. The now page layout still sucks though.

]]> By: Wallsy http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackedcom-has-solved-the-bailout/#comment-49531 Wallsy Thu, 02 Oct 2008 06:26:43 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=1850#comment-49531 I haven't even read this post yet, I'm just commenting to say "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE PAGE LAYOUT!?" I know you bloggers are almost certainly not in any way responsible for this, but I still demand that you change it back. This is shit. I haven’t even read this post yet, I’m just commenting to say “WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE PAGE LAYOUT!?”

I know you bloggers are almost certainly not in any way responsible for this, but I still demand that you change it back. This is shit.

]]> By: ThisGuy http://www.cracked.com/blog/crackedcom-has-solved-the-bailout/#comment-49521 ThisGuy Thu, 02 Oct 2008 03:45:00 +0000 http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=1850#comment-49521 Why don't we just take all the bankers into the back alleys of the nation, and shoot the hook-nosed, pork avoiding bastards? (Half my family is jewish. That makes it ok for me to advocate another holocaust.) Why don’t we just take all the bankers into the back alleys of the nation, and shoot the hook-nosed, pork avoiding bastards? (Half my family is jewish. That makes it ok for me to advocate another holocaust.)

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