On April 30, 1789, George Washington was inaugurated as the first President of the United States of America, which was the last time something interesting and cool happened at a presidential inauguration.
Until right now.
Today, for the first time in our nation’s proud history, Cracked.com liveblogged the shit out of the Inauguration. Also, as you’ll see below, President Barack Obama flubbed his lines while taking the oath of office. And based on our understanding of constitutional law, that means he is our nations first Rogue President.
Okay, okay okay. See, White People be inaugurating like this: Beep boop, doop. But Black People be inaugurating like this: Bmm Bmm Bff B-bmm B-mm Bff Aw, Yeah, Bmm Bmm Bff. Man, I’ve been sitting on that one for a while. Nailed it. Alright, for those following along at home, I’m watching on MSNBC. If you’re anything like me, here’s what you’re thinking:
-”Jesus, George Bush Senior looks like shit.”
-”Jesus, Joe Biden looks like Hardcore Holly.”
-”This liveblog will end up being very miserable and somber if Obama gets assassinated.
-”The fact that I can only think of this assassination in terms of how it affects me and the Cracked liveblog is maybe my worst quality as a human being.”
Also, they are actually booing President Bush. That is totally happening. Millions of people booing. That is a sound he will never forget.
Dick Cheney is in a wheelchair because of, according to MSNBC, “A freak box-related incident that took place while he was moving out of the White House.” Is the inauguration even wheelchair-friendly? If they leave Cheney on the top of the stairs for the next four hours, I think we can call everything even.
They just showed Barack walking up and down the hall. There’s a screaming crowd. People are chanting…I’m not entirely convinced that this isn’t just a special extended edition of Monday Night Raw.
There he is! There he fucking is! Swinging Joe Biden, looking crazy and completely out of it as usual.
Since it looks like Swaim and G-Balls are suffering from technical difficulties, (more like testicle difficulties, right? [I'm implying that they're getting gay-sex-married to each other]), I’ll just respond to what I said.
“I agree with everything Dan said at 11:35, and I’d add that he’s incredibly talented and is a veritable volcano of raw, sexual energy, by which I mean he is impressive, powerful and deadly.”
Well Dan, if Bush follows in the mold of other recent Republican ex-Presidents, he will indeed forget that sound, and in fact everything else he knows. Which may be a blessing, if Obama swoops in on fairy wings and fixes everything in the world and gives us all manual release, as people seem to be expecting. Well, most people.
Although humorously enough, I guess people praying for Obama’s failure are in some way assuming his success.
The first official mention of the middle name and they went with “H.” Lends some credence to my theory that “Hussein,” muttered at the actual signing-in, will be the code word for terrorists to explode the Capitol building.
Also, I’m pretty sure some of these people are chanting “ObaMA. ObaMA.” I think I’ve been mispronouncing his name for, like, ever.
And is the reflecting pool filled with people? Are people literally wading shin-deep in freezing water to see this happen? THAT’S America, friends.
Wow, there’s like a billion people there and only about eight people clapped for Rick Warren.
So I’m having all sorts of technical problems with CNN and MSN. We’re off to a rocky start Obama! First my government-issue unicorn wouldn’t turn right and then there were all those potholes on the new rainbow I rode to work. And now I can’t watch the inauguration. Seriously, my MSN feed is cutting in and out so bad I thought Diane Feinstein was speaking in tongues.
The way Rick Warren said “Malia” and “Sasha” really creeped me out. It’s like he was pitching their names as possible new soft drink flavors to a large board of investors. “Quench your thirst with some Maleeeeya, maybe take the edge off with a thirst-busting Sashuh.”
If Rick Warren hates gays so much why did he steal Charles Nelson Reilly’s manner of speaking?
Well, at least they managed to get Aretha to sing without her giant, pendulous breasts falling out. Seriously, she does that:
They couldn’t stop her from elongating the final note to elaborate and heroic proportions though. No, they couldn’t stop that.
Swinging Joe Biden is the Vice President! Those beady little shark eyes of his have never looked so happy. And now Yo-Yo Ma is going to play some badass cello to a John Williams arrangement. If only someone, months ago, could have predicted that Barack Obama was going to do something majestic while John Williams music played … If only. Oh, oh hang on a second: Fuck you, America, because I totally did that.
Itzhak AND Yo-yo playing John Williams? It’s like the ultimate “considered sophisticated but still known to most of middle class America” supergroup! I’m expecting a nation-wide tour with Asia opening, gents.
OBAMA IS PRESIDENT
The news just said Williams composed it for Obama’s inauguration, but i have it on good authority that Lucas cut it from Attack of the Clones when he deleted the scene in which Jar Jar Binx farts. Twice.
This honestly feels important and historic. (I’m talking, of course, about the House marathon on USA all day.) Meanwhile this inauguration or whatever. Barack is shockingly calm. Here it is. Rosa Parks sat, so Martin Luther King could stand. He stood, so Barack Obama could run. And Obama ran, so I could sit in my apartment on inauguration day and masturbate majestically.
People cheered so hard it broke my Internet feed. I wish people would cheer like that every time I failed to repeat something intelligibly.
Since he flubbed the opening of the oath, does that mean he’s not really President? I mean technically? Or even worse, does it mean that he IS President, but not bound by the oath?! Gasp! ROGUE PRESIDENT!
The nation’s woes are due to “the irresponsibility and greed of some.” If I were you Wayne, I’d be blushing right about now.
Dan: Yes, but are you playing John Williams? Because that’s what I’m imagining. Specifically the Jurassic Park theme.
Some people say that Obama is unrealistic and overly optimistic. Not so says Obama. In his address, Obama seeks only to “harness the sun.” At this point, I’d say something witty and urbane about Icarus, but I don’t feel like explaining it to Dan. And y’know speaking of Dan, I’ve been taking crap from him all week. He keeps saying he’s more qualified to live blog because he’s 1/8 Black. Well, Dan, let me remind you that Obama is 50% White, and I’m 100% White. So, I’m 100% like 50% of Obama whereas you are only 1/8th like 50% of Obama. Accordingly, I’m more like Obama than you, and more qualified to blog about this historic African American.
Wow, Gladstone, a long almost witty post that has only passing relevance to the events. It’s almost like you prepared this in advance. It’s cool, though, I’m sure thinking on your feet gets tough at your age. Walking on your feet, too. Also, keeping all your hair and not dying. All difficult for you.
Wow. It’s amazing the kind of hope and passion for economic recovery 150,000,000 dollars will buy you.
Meanwhile, I’m still stuck on the harnessing the sun line.
Now THERE’S some super-science I can stand behind. Fuck Kennedy’s moon landing shit. We’re going to literally RIDE THE SUN LIKE A HORSE. Godspeed, you doomed astronauts.
Dan: how come your nametag gets a drop shadow? What a gyp. And yes, Cracked fans, I am referring to filthy, thieving gypsies.
Obama: “It’s not the size of your GDP, it’s how you extend it.” (holds hands about fifteen inches apart, winks).
Threatening terrorists. Never a risky PR move. Maybe that’s why Bush used that tactic exclusively for 6 years.
Swaim: Drop shadows are for closers. You’ve got to earn it.
I’m supposed to respond to Swaim right now, but I’m currently hearing the worst poem ever written and it’s distracting me. Something poetic about “boom boxes.” In any event, I’m supposed to respond, but Swaim riffed on my pre-existing sun reference, so I’m afraid that would be too self-referential and masturbatory. (Better left to Ross Wolinsky — oh , you don’t like that Ross? Well if it’s not true, just leave a blog post right here! No? That’s what I thought!)
What about “when albino will tame a rhino?” I’d like to see that.
It’s awesome to me that they had to put choir together just to match the vocal intensity of Aretha Franklin. Woman’s a legend.
Spotted Gore in the audience. Remember him? He had that movie. Heat, I think it was.
I half-expected Obama to pull his hand away at the last second before shaking Bush’s. I don’t think anyone would begrudge him a “BOOM!” either.
I love that the commentators don’t dare speak over anything except the poet recitation. We don’t care about the poem, and they absolutely know it. Welcome to America. Party Game: imagine the poem is describing your penis.
“we walk into that we cannot yet see.”
“we are spiny or smooth.”
“we built the glistening edifices we would later work inside of.”
“some live by love, others by ‘do no harm.’”
Hey, Barack’s been president for like 12 minutes now and I’m still broke. What the fuck? I’m broke, and gas is expensive, we’re still at war. I thought Barack was supposed to bring change. And did you guys know his middle name is Hussein? Are we positive this is the guy we want to put in charge of America Inc? He barely looks like he knows the Star Spangled Banner.
Dan, to be fair, I don’t know the Star Spangled Banner, and I was born when a baseball fucked an apple pie. So as things wind down, let us remember some simple facts:
Most of the people in the crowd bolted as soon as the second prayer started.
Clinton clearly fell asleep at one point.
I may be broke, but I’m typing this on a computer with a broadband Internet connection while Obama’s brother is probably listening to it on a communal radio in his shanty town. Also, I’ll be buying a bunch of Lotto tickets later.
The more things change, the more we get fat and watch Scrubs. YES. WE. CAN!
So, I’m watching Fox New’s coverage bc only HULU’s feed seems to be working for me. And according to Fox News there were no phrases from this speech which will ring through history. Fox is now concentrating on how Barack’s goal is to reach out to the Muslim world. Speaking of conservatives who seemd intent in portraying Obama poorly, did anyone notice during the oath how Chief Justice Roberts said “so help you God?” with just a touch of doubt — like “are you sure you love Jesus? No, really?”
Closing Thougts: Well, that’s all. Barack is the president, the crowd is chanting, though I don’t think any two people are chanting the same thing, and all of America had to sit through the shittiest poem I’ve ever heard. I wonder, of all the people in that crowd, how many of them pissed themselves because it was easier than trying to find a bathroom. And Barack is taking Bush to his helicopter. Sarah Palin would be kicking herself at home, if I hadn’t put her in a sex coma in the middle of Obama’s speech. George Bush is no longer the president of the United States of America.
George Bush is no longer the President. It’s kind of important to me that I get to say that twice. In 2004, my friend Marne gave me “America: The Book” and wrote the inscription inside: “If we laugh about it, we can make it to 2009.” And here we are.
Closing Thougts: According to tradition, the exiting President leaves a letter in his desk for the incoming President. A letter of advice, filled with Presidential lessons learned from the preceding years. Personally, I’m hoping Bush also left Obama an eraser.
G-Stone
G-Stone is the ruggedly handsome creator and host of HBN. He’s the oldest Cracked blogger and not coincidentally the only Cracked blogger whose avatar is hand-drawn.
Michael Swaim
Michael writes here, hosts Cracked TV, and is the head writer for the comedy troupe Those Aren’t Muskets! He also does a lot of other stuff, but it’s not as directly applicable to the Internet.
DOB
Daniel O’Brien is Cracked’s most decorated, and modest columnist. He might be Spider Man.
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July 6th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
v Zack, this is their job.
Believe it or not, they get paid for this.
They have to work to get paid.
February 14th, 2009 at 8:13 pm
You know, maybe it’s just me, but you guys spend wayyyyyyyy too much time on here. Suggestion: Grow Up!
January 25th, 2009 at 3:03 am
“The difference is when you make that choice. If you CHOOSE to drop your drawers, you can’t punish the kid you make. What did he or she do wrong? It’s wrong to escape the responsibility YOU assumed with YOUR choice by killing a child.”
You know, if contraception were better promoted and more readily available, people wouldn’t reach a point where they had to consider abortions…because there wouldn’t be anything there to abort.
You can’t expect all consenting adults to abstain from sex; that’s unrealistic. People decide to have sex for a myriad of reasons–it’s not like it’s this thing that just happens solely because people can’t control themselves.
“Stupid fucking conservibals. Liberatives. Just pop the little bugger out and ASK it if it’s an unborn child. It probably knows better than you do. Faggers. Commuzis. Dunks.”
There you go, CavalierX. How ’bout that?
January 23rd, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Woah.Heavy handed stuff here. Abortion, insults flying, liberals, conservatives…. I’m outta my league. Good article, was hilarious, and this live coverage is the very reason why I came to this site in the first place.
January 23rd, 2009 at 12:29 pm
“Before Bush came out, I was telling my friend “I hope everyone boos Bush when he comes out.” The group next to me was singing “Na na naaaa nah. Na na naaaa nah. Heeeeeeey, Goodbye!””
More proof that Liberals are emotionally damaged children with the bodies of adults. The funniest part is how you Lefties then, in almost the SAME BREATH, turned and demanded national unity, telling us we have to “give Obama a chance.” Remember how you all said “dissent is the highest form of patriotism?” Well, call me patriotic.
January 23rd, 2009 at 12:25 pm
“Proof that Republicans are hypocrites: “Murdering the innocent to advance an ideology is wrong every time, everywhere.” -Bush”
Are you whining about his executing convicted murderers in Texas, or terrorists hiding behind innocents in violation of the Geneva Conventions? You should read them sometime. If the enemy deliberately sets up bases of operation in civilian-inhabited areas, or uses civilian buildings such as hospitals and religious buildings as fire zones, they are the ones to blame for any civilian casualties that result. Interesting concept, you know — actually blaming the people who put the civilians in danger when they get hurt.
January 23rd, 2009 at 10:10 am
@CavalierX
Proof that Republicans are hypocrites: “Murdering the innocent to advance an ideology is wrong every time, everywhere.” -Bush
Democracy and christianity are ideologies. Why is America exempt?
January 23rd, 2009 at 9:59 am
Oh, and one other thing. The guy who introduced, I think, Nancy Pelosi or something. His name was Senator Bennett. His wife is my flute teacher, Joyce Bennett. They showed her on the screen. She was the one with the short blonde hair and glasses. I asked them 2 weeks ago if they were going to be there and they said “Unfortunately, yes.” They’re republican.
January 23rd, 2009 at 9:57 am
I live in the DC area and I was at the Inauguration (”President Obama” still sounds so weird to me). When I heard him mess up, I was laughing and thinking exactly what you thought: “Does this mean that he’s technically not president since he screwed up the Oath?”
Also, I was one of the people booing Bush when he came out. We also booed Cheney and Condi Rice. Before Bush came out, I was telling my friend “I hope everyone boos Bush when he comes out.” The group next to me was singing “Na na naaaa nah. Na na naaaa nah. Heeeeeeey, Goodbye!”
Omg, the traffic was TERRIBLE! And I don’t mean cars, most people took the metro (that’s what we call the subway here). I mean the HUMAN traffic. It was like a cattle drive. The porta potties blocked most of the exits, so it took us over an hour to just away from the Washington Monument. I didn’t stay for the parade because it was too cold, but I imagine that was worse. There were so many people that all the streets around DC were closed so that people could walk there. It was an army! The whole street was packed!
Oh and the metro! Oh god, we were all packed like sardines! It was probably worse than the subway in New York! Worse, I’m short, so I couldn’t hold onto the bars on top, so I was falling every time they stopped. My boyfriend had to hold me so that I didn’t get squished. Lotta armpits smelled that day. And you know what worries me? We didn’t even get on the most crowded stop! I can’t even imagine what those ones were like. We were so miserable.
They were so worried about whether they’d have enough porta potties for everyone, but no one used them, for obvious reasons. Most people didn’t stay for the parade, and I never saw ANYONE using the johns. A line of buses going for, and I’m not joking, over a block and a half was also blocking our path. It seems like they brought the whole state of Alaska and Florida here (that’s where the buses were from). They were literally parked bumper to bumper. And the fucking army was there, so we couldn’t take certain roads.
The good part was there was a guy handing out free pretzels!
January 23rd, 2009 at 5:01 am
Holy nuts? Aloha Dan..it’s been a bit..my apologies. Could you be funnier? I can’t compete with 1400 other comments..normally I read..but I draw the line at 600. Sorry. Working Gladstone in..nice. He needs some love. Is he selling maple syrup now? Poor guy. Frick..I want to say good things..
We all make our choices..
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:29 pm
“No, breathing oxygen isn’t it, either; the lungs are fully formed in the womb and they get oxygen through the umbilical cord. ”
Just to clarify before some idiot thinks I’m saying unborn babies are snorkeling in there like divers: they ABSORB oxygen through the umbilical cord and can process it in their systems, so simply adding O2 + fetus does not = human.
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:23 pm
“In any case, that “moment” you are looking for is the moment the child can live outside the womb without support, with all it’s organs etc”
Why? They still can’t survive on their own — someone has to feed them. What is the exact, measurable, irrefutable scientific difference between a child inside and outside the womb? Are children born by Cesarean section not human? Are they killable until just before the skin is opened? I’m still looking for the exact genetic or physical change that takes place. No, breathing oxygen isn’t it, either; the lungs are fully formed in the womb and they get oxygen through the umbilical cord.
“And you can go ahead an err on the side of caution all you want with your OWN body. Leave everyone else’s alone.”
It’s the child’s I’m concerned with. You can kill yourself if you wish to, but killing another human being just for being inconvenient to you is just wrong. Or else the morning commute would be a hell of a lot more fun.
January 22nd, 2009 at 7:26 am
@ jen
There is still time for a post-birth abortion, let’s not loose hope just yet.
Apparently they made him retake the oath so there’ll be no rogue president… yet.
January 22nd, 2009 at 5:27 am
the question i am asking myself is how do i ruin the magical moment of obama’s first few days as president?
the answer, i post something like this
“obama’s mama sucked negro cock”
January 22nd, 2009 at 12:41 am
I can’t wait till Obama expands the federal government to pay for my car and my college loans and my food and my xbox. He mentioned something about that in the inauguration right? IDK, I don’t have a job so I don’t get up till 3.
January 21st, 2009 at 11:27 pm
just wanted to say, OBAMA DID NOT MESS UP THE OATH. The guy who told him the oath said it wrong, and Obama stopped to correct him. Also, you guys are hilarious. =P
January 21st, 2009 at 10:56 pm
Here’s what Bush’s letter says:
“Don’t let the turkeys getcha down.”
and that’s it.
January 21st, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Like I said earlier, the poll does not include any choice for “No, I’m not a giant assbag.” I chose assbag over assface this time, if you’ll notice. I mainly did that not out of logic, as assbag doesn’t really make sense, but it’s a much coarser insult, and thus more satisfying.
I’m reposting this because I’m betting my inane little comments are more interesting for the readers of an online humor magazine than an argument between two sides who wore out their key points in 1987.
Also, boobs. Boobs-a-plenty.
January 21st, 2009 at 8:42 pm
“That’s a good try, chelle, really. But a cake is not a human being, no matter how long you cook it, and has no rights. One may discard it without regret just as easily after it comes out of the oven as before. On the other hand, an unborn baby can be murdered, as shown in the California v. Scott Peterson case. As far as I know, one can only murder a human being. Your question, then, is reduced to when a fetus “becomes” a human being. To the best of my knowledge, there is no sudden transformational moment when this takes place (just as there is no precise moment when your pan of batter becomes a cake.) The best scientific definition I can find of “human” is satisfied by an unborn baby; that is, it has unique human DNA and is alive. I would, therefore, prefer to err on the side of caution.”
I thought it was a fanastic analogy. See, CavalierX, she wasn’t saying that a cake IS a person. Perhaps you have trouble with English?
In any case, that “moment” you are looking for is the moment the child can live outside the womb without support, with all it’s organs etc. That’s quite late in the pregnancy. Until then, it’s pretty much a fish, gills and all.
And you can go ahead an err on the side of caution all you want with your OWN body. Leave everyone else’s alone.
January 21st, 2009 at 6:06 pm
That poem sucked
January 21st, 2009 at 4:43 pm
i was totally gonna leave a comment about some of you fools with your stupid ass coments, but realized, most wouldnt understand. i mean, your having a nice chat about cakes now. huh.
January 21st, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Lets get on the cake train! ALL ABORT!! CHOO CHOO!
January 21st, 2009 at 4:22 pm
What are you , anti-cake? GET HIM!
January 21st, 2009 at 4:12 pm
THE CAKE IS A LIE.
January 21st, 2009 at 4:08 pm
I’m for that. Civil rights for cakes! Delicious, frosted, yummy cakes!
January 21st, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Wait… a cake is NOT a person? Cakes don’t have ANY civil rights? Shit, that’s news to me. As of this moment, I am starting a movement for the civil rights of cakes. They’re delicious enough to vote!
January 21st, 2009 at 3:55 pm
That’s a good try, chelle, really. But a cake is not a human being, no matter how long you cook it, and has no rights. One may discard it without regret just as easily after it comes out of the oven as before. On the other hand, an unborn baby can be murdered, as shown in the California v. Scott Peterson case. As far as I know, one can only murder a human being. Your question, then, is reduced to when a fetus “becomes” a human being. To the best of my knowledge, there is no sudden transformational moment when this takes place (just as there is no precise moment when your pan of batter becomes a cake.) The best scientific definition I can find of “human” is satisfied by an unborn baby; that is, it has unique human DNA and is alive. I would, therefore, prefer to err on the side of caution.
January 21st, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Okay people once and for all a fetus is not a baby just like a pan full of batter is not a cake. Think about it. I’ve got eggs, you’ve got sperm. Is that a baby? no. Just like I’ve got a cake mix in the pantry and milk in the fridge. I mix them together and is it a cake? no. Just like mixing sperm and ova together does not a baby make. You turn the oven on and put the pan inside, still not a cake. In fact it won’t be a cake until I take it out of the oven, frost and serve it. And if halfway through cooking that cake my inlaws call and say they’re coming for dinner and I need to ditch the cake and cook a pot roast; well plans change and goodbye cake. Of course I really love cake so I would probably go ahead and finish cooking it but who am I to tell anyone else that they have to finish cooking the cake? It’s really none of my business what they do with their oven.
January 21st, 2009 at 3:37 pm
The new Presidents in, that freerepublic link has scared me, there was something about abortion……………..so can we now go back to hating Hannah Montana and her giant fucking teeth??? And Berkley, Ca. Berkley sucks.
January 21st, 2009 at 2:43 pm
@XRaySpecs
So your entire contribution to the discussion is to attack someone else for not contributing something substantive to the discussion? Really?
January 21st, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Great contribution there drobr. How does it feel to contribute as much to the argument as those your master is arguing with?
January 21st, 2009 at 1:57 pm
“So far all you’ve stated is that its human and that its living…so what? Since when does your personal emotion have a scientific basis for anything? If facts were based on emotion, we’d be fucked as far as scientific method goes.”
That has nothing to do with emotion. Are you saying it’s right to kill an innocent human being because it’s inconvenient? I don’t agree. If we can agree that killing a human without cause (and, perhaps, due process of law) is wrong, and an unborn child is demonstrably human, then the question of whether abortion is wrong is answered.
“And yet you tell people to keep it in their pants to avoid abortion, which is obviously not an option for any human with hormones ”
Really? You’re no better than an animal just because you have urges? So if I kill someone, it’s okay because I, you know, had an urge?
“But how far are you willing to go? Are you saving the whales? The trees? The birds?”
When you want to discuss the topic of abortion, let me know. AS far as I know, whales, trees and birds are not lining up to get them.
” No, you’re selfishly defending your own species and nothing else whatever the cost, because thats what your primate nature is making you do.”
My “primate nature” would be making me grab a rock and bash your head in with it right now, but my human nature says that would be wrong. Being a human and not a mere animal, I can restrain my primitive urges, or at least channel them into a less destructive outlet… like making fun of you on the Internet.
January 21st, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Biden looks NOTHING like Hardcore Holly…
January 21st, 2009 at 1:41 pm
“What then, a rock? It’s alive, and it’s human. Check the DNA if you don’t believe me — it’s unique, not a copy of its mother’s (as, say, a tumor would be). You can pretend it isn’t an unborn child all you want, but that’s the truth. I used to be neutral on the abortion question until I actually thought about it.”
What did you think about? The chemicals in your brain subconsciously telling you to preserve your species?
So far all you’ve stated is that its human and that its living…so what? Since when does your personal emotion have a scientific basis for anything? If facts were based on emotion, we’d be fucked as far as scientific method goes.
And yet you tell people to keep it in their pants to avoid abortion, which is obviously not an option for any human with hormones - technically you’re implying to deny nature in an attempt to NOT interfere with another nature, birth.
But how far are you willing to go? Are you saving the whales? The trees? The birds? They fit your definition of life worthy of being saved dont they? No, you’re selfishly defending your own species and nothing else whatever the cost, because thats what your primate nature is making you do.
Get your head out of the stone age
January 21st, 2009 at 1:17 pm
wow..those poor guys,many people talked about this when we chat online on tall dating site___Tallmingle.com___where has many humor guys and fashion girls,even hot models.
January 21st, 2009 at 1:02 pm
the argument going on between cavalierx and all the pro-choice people is pretty funny. it seems to entirely consist of cavalierx giving an argument and someone else responding with some variation of “fuck you, it’s not a child.”
January 21st, 2009 at 12:52 pm
I don’t mean to interrupt all the politicking, but I’ve got something WAY more important to point out.
Where did the boobie pictures go??? I come back to this page and instead all I get is Swaim’s nasty leer staring me in the face.
Though I don’t mean to single you out, man. All the faces on this post are pretty nasty.
January 21st, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Stupid fucking conservibals. Liberatives. Just pop the little bugger out and ASK it if it’s an unborn child. It probably knows better than you do. Faggers. Commuzis. Dunks.
January 21st, 2009 at 11:37 am
“Not a child.”
What then, a rock? It’s alive, and it’s human. Check the DNA if you don’t believe me — it’s unique, not a copy of its mother’s (as, say, a tumor would be). You can pretend it isn’t an unborn child all you want, but that’s the truth. I used to be neutral on the abortion question until I actually thought about it.
January 21st, 2009 at 11:28 am
I just love all the self/article references that popped up. Made me feel important that I knew what they were talking about without having to follow the links… I’m lonely
January 21st, 2009 at 11:26 am
“Someday you tiny-minded feces-throwing screeching monkeys will grow up and learn to disagree without being disagreeable about it… but in your case, I won’t hold my breath.”
Pot, meet kettle.
January 21st, 2009 at 11:25 am
“The difference is when you make that choice. If you CHOOSE to drop your drawers, you can’t punish the kid you make. What did he or she do wrong? It’s wrong to escape the responsibility YOU assumed with YOUR choice by killing a child.”
Not a child.
January 21st, 2009 at 11:19 am
“By that logic CavalierX - Pro-LIFE means supporting life and thus pro-choice means anti-life or pro-death.”
Actually, both sides choose labels to make themselves look good. Pro-lifers are trying to emphasize that they are trying to preserve the life of unborn children. Pro-choicers are trying to emphasize that they are trying to give women the choice to kill inconvenient babies.
January 21st, 2009 at 11:15 am
By that logic CavalierX - Pro-LIFE means supporting life and thus pro-choice means anti-life or pro-death.
January 21st, 2009 at 11:04 am
“CavalierX: Stop fucking mastrubating to Rush Limbaugh and get a job you piece of shit.”
It’s funny how most of you Liberals always react to anyone disagreeing with you by wishing they were dead and screaming childish insults at them, using as much foul language as possible. I tried to respond in a manner you might understand, but obviously that didn’t work. Someday you tiny-minded feces-throwing screeching monkeys will grow up and learn to disagree without being disagreeable about it… but in your case, I won’t hold my breath.
January 21st, 2009 at 10:50 am
CavalierX: Stop fucking mastrubating to Rush Limbaugh and get a job you piece of shit.
January 21st, 2009 at 10:29 am
“Hey does anyone know who screwed up the oath?”
According to one report:
There was a false start by Obama, who started to respond before Roberts had completed the first phrase. Obama ended up saying the first two words — “I, Barack” — twice.
Then there was an awkward pause after Roberts prompted Obama with these words: “That I will execute the office of president to the United States faithfully.” The chief justice seemed to say “to” rather than “of,” but that was not the main problem. The main problem was that the word “faithfully” had floated upstream in the constitutional text, which actually says this: “That I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States.”
Obama seemed to realize this, pausing quizzically after saying, “that I will execute.”
Roberts gave it another try, getting closer but still not quite right with this: “Faithfully the office of president of the United States.” He omitted the word “execute.”
Obama now repeated Roberts’ initial error of putting “faithfully” at the end. Starting where he had abruptly paused, he said, “The office of president of the United States faithfully.”
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/6222146.html
January 21st, 2009 at 10:27 am
“Cavalier X: I really wish your parents had made the right choice and aborted you.”
Did your parents raise any children that weren’t retarded?
January 21st, 2009 at 10:25 am
Cavalier X: I really wish your parents had made the right choice and aborted you.
January 21st, 2009 at 9:57 am
“Pro choice means…eh, pro CHOICE. As in, choose one way or another. Pro life = anti-choice”
The difference is when you make that choice. If you CHOOSE to drop your drawers, you can’t punish the kid you make. What did he or she do wrong? It’s wrong to escape the responsibility YOU assumed with YOUR choice by killing a child.
January 21st, 2009 at 7:14 am
There was a poem? That never featured on our news. Judging by your comments there’s a very good reason for that.
“He might be Spider Man.” Might?! F U Dan, I thought you were cool.
January 21st, 2009 at 6:09 am
This is too easy.. You see kids.. You all believe in killing. Liberals are okay with pre-birth body count. Conservatives are okay with post-birth.
All of you idiots are the same (myself included), and we are not all the same because of our dreams, or races, or desires, - - we are united because we are all stupid.. Are you breathing? -then your an idiot, and just as much for holding your breath..
January 21st, 2009 at 4:52 am
As for the dipshit up there who says “pro-choice = anti-life”, you are an idiot. Pro choice means…eh, pro CHOICE. As in, choose one way or another. Pro life = anti-choice. Bet you are a man and are just jealous you have no choice at all because no one will let you have sex with them
When a dude has the “choice” whether or not to pay child support for something he had no choice about being born or aborted, I’ll be all for pro choice.
January 21st, 2009 at 4:20 am
HAHAHA! I had to get up at 0330HRS to watch the swearing in and speech, but had enough sense to go to bed once someone mentioned poetry.
January 21st, 2009 at 4:00 am
God I wish I hadn’t slept through this historic event. Who knows when the Cracked bloggers will live-blog again?
January 21st, 2009 at 3:03 am
I loved reading this! It’s all I had to keep me sane
they wouldn’t let us watch daily show coverage at work
January 21st, 2009 at 2:39 am
thats really great
he is so handsome
love him so much
there are a lot of fans of him on wealthymeetup.co m
January 21st, 2009 at 2:08 am
It seems wrong for me to fancy the President of the United States, but I still do. He’s so lovely. In fact, I bet he even has better abs than DOB.
Yeah, I totally went there.
January 21st, 2009 at 1:48 am
“George Bush is no longer the President. It’s kind of important to me that I get to say that twice. In 2004, my friend Marne gave me “America: The Book” and wrote the inscription inside: “If we laugh about it, we can make it to 2009.” And here we are.”
Why is there no internet Pulitzer?
January 21st, 2009 at 1:36 am
How is the Virginia Military Institute relevant to anything ever?
January 21st, 2009 at 1:18 am
How come nobody mentioned the Virginia Military Institute marching in the Inaugural?
January 21st, 2009 at 12:59 am
@ Caliban: How is it NOT special that we have the first black president? It’s really nothing to accuse people of being racist over. Saying it is “the most historic event EVER” is silly, but it is silly to minimize it, too.
January 21st, 2009 at 12:32 am
Did anyone else wonder what would happen if a pack of firecrackers were set off in the middle of that crowd?
January 21st, 2009 at 12:07 am
Hey does anyone know who screwed up the oath?
January 21st, 2009 at 12:07 am
Why Men Should Only Marry Rhythmic Gymnasts… LOL!
http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=10f86959e5f2fcd90da5&page=1&viewtype=&category=mr
January 20th, 2009 at 11:48 pm
I was kind of hoping for “Obama Girl” to jump onstage and start grinding her shit all up against him! He’s totally going to do her you know…
January 20th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
i cant believe you guys did a whole liveblog on the inauguration, and not once mentioned the ” barack obamas oaf” SHE SAID OAF DAMNIT!
January 20th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
I’m all up for getting fat and watching more Scrubs!
January 20th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
I watched it. X3 There were comments scrolling at the bottom. Out of dozens upon dozens of them, only one or two actually mildly insulted Obama
…I am STILL trying to figure out why a CANADIAN news station would put on a comment from a guy living in SWITZERLAND, though…
January 20th, 2009 at 10:08 pm
OBAMA DID NOT FUCK UP THE SWEARING IN!!!!!!! Chief Justice John Roberts jr. screwed it up. He misspoke while swearing in Obama and Obama, not wanting to swear to something other than the oath of office
January 20th, 2009 at 10:05 pm
“I wonder, of all the people in that crowd, how many of them pissed themselves because it was easier than trying to find a bathroom.”
I was wondering the very same thing!! I don’t remember seeing any porta potties out there on the Mall lawn.
As for the dipshit up there who says “pro-choice = anti-life”, you are an idiot. Pro choice means…eh, pro CHOICE. As in, choose one way or another. Pro life = anti-choice. Bet you are a man and are just jealous you have no choice at all because no one will let you have sex with them.
Obama gave a great speech, and it was incredible to watch from the other side of the world (on TV). It’s the only inauguration I’ve ever watched, actually, and I’m in my 30s!
January 20th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Obama started earlier on the first line,
the Chief Justice jumbled up the second and it took Obama a few seconds, but he realized it and stopped.
Stop bickering and watch the youtube video.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Obama didn’t mess up his oath, the chief did.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Now if only somebody had thrown a shoe at Bush…
January 20th, 2009 at 9:40 pm
The Chief Justice bobbled the swearing in line, not Obama. He stopped because he realized the justice had made a mistake.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
God, that was awful–the election coverage by the media, that is.
Good article, but you should probably spell check your “closing thougts.”
January 20th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Also, I loved how there are only five kinds of people in America: Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and non-believers.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Yeah,they made us watch it in class, and I got all pissed because it’s blatant racism in its purist form. We didn’t have to watch Bush get inaugurated, the only reason we do now is because he’s black. So much for lack of racism.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Lyndi, remember: They’re all giant assfaces.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Fuck you Swaim, for linking to that “Pray for Obama’s Failure” website. Now I’m gonna be good and pissed off for the rest of the day.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
You’ll notice on the poll Swaim linked to regarding “Should we pray for Obama’s failure?” contains no “No, I’m not a giant assface” option.
By my logic, everyone voting in that poll just called themselves giant assfaces.
January 20th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Black people are different than white people. They are black and white people are white. IMPLYING THAT WHITE PEOPLE ARE BETTER makes you racist. Get it straight.
January 20th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
Wow, yeah. Ours really didn’t care and refused to let us interrupt class to watch. this was followed by loud protests of “it’s the most historic event in history!” NO IT’S NOT! if you say that, your racist. because if your saying having a black president is something special, your implying that black people are somehow different than white people, which makes YOU racist =]
January 20th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
My Biology teacher let our class watch his inauguration/speech during our mock exam. Apparently historic events ARE more important than school.
January 20th, 2009 at 8:07 pm
OBAMA-RAMA!!! he is so awesome. just awesome.
January 20th, 2009 at 7:43 pm
I have DSL and the web feeds on my computer are about 90 sec slower than real time, so I was on the PC and listening to the TV in the next room during the live blog. I only heard Aretha’s performance and wasn’t watching.
I just caught her entrance on the news and I feel compelled to say…
Now THAT’S and expensive hat!
http://cdn.necn.com/files/2009/01/20/vlcsnap-4330.jpg
January 20th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
Ha, great post!
I laughed at the flub…it was a very human moment. I think Roberts was nervous. Obama certainly looked nervous walking down the hall.
I think if I had to step out on that platform and over a million people were screaming at me, I’d piss myself.
January 20th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
(Slowly)Clap, Clap,
(gradually faster) clap, clap clap clap
(much faster) clap clap clap clap clap clap!
January 20th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Chief Justice Roberts screwed the pooch on the oath, not President Obama. Geez, he’s only the head of the Supreme Court. You’d think he’d get the damned oath right.
January 20th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
Great job, gentlemen.
By the way DOB, I was wondering why Sarah Palin has been so quiet lately—now I know.
January 20th, 2009 at 7:04 pm
I don’t know the Star Spangled Banner, and I was born when a baseball fucked an apple pie.
lol
January 20th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Swaim is hilarious!
that majestically joke was top notch if I say so myself.
January 20th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
I have to say that I spent the entire inaugural address thinking of possible ways to assassinate Obama out of sheer boredom. My best one was hijacking a media helicopter, flying over, and hovering while a sniper in the chopper takes him out. Of course, you’d need an inside man to give clearance for the chopper, and perhaps a distraction such as pantsing George Bush so everyone would look the other way, laughing hysterically as the chopper swooped in for the kill. Failing that, a blowgun disguised as a drinking straw would be effective.
January 20th, 2009 at 6:47 pm
So does this mean Chocolate News can finally go off air?
January 20th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
“http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/2168059/posts. That is freaking scary. That is hate on a whole other level.”
Agreed. Pray so that Obama fails? Religion and IQ were not meant for each other.
January 20th, 2009 at 6:00 pm
A Hardcore Holly reference from DOB!? Wow! I’m impressed.
January 20th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
there were so many people saying ignorant and hateful things that made me lose all the hope i had in obama. so i killed them all and had sex with their organs. then i regained my hope. then i ate dinner. (ramen noodles) then i sold the soiled organs in my local korean market.
in conclusion, really fucking funny.
where were ross and bob?
WTF?
January 20th, 2009 at 5:28 pm
[...] Finally, for those of you who like laughing, check out Cracked.com’s hilarious live blog of today’s event…SO FUNNY!!! [...]
January 20th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
I was waiting for President Obama to say, “Excuse me while I whip this out”.
I was let down.
January 20th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Don’t know if this has already been posted, but actually, Obama didn’t flub his lines. Roberts did. Obama paused to let him correct himself. At least, that’s what I’ve heard.
January 20th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
DarthGazebo’s right O.o:
“http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/2168059/posts. That is freaking scary. That is hate on a whole other level.”
I read through the whole page. O.O That’s the kind of thing that undermines society, I swear. Of the posts I read, at least a few (2) users sounded *sane*. Completely regardless of religious belief, that’s the kind of thing that needs to be addressed. Get these people some help…. Or get them out of here, at least.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
It makes me proud to know that the Phillies’ World Championship parade gathered more people than the inauguration parade. Thank God America has its priorities right. Philadelphia Phillies > President Obama.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
Penis.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
well all i have to say is FUCKIN EH!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Wow, I am just thankful that Dictator Bush is OUTTA THERE!! Please let the door hit ya on the way out! I hope all the shoe throwers of the world will me him at his multi million dollar mansion in Texas! As for Obama, I hope he is as good with ACTION as he is at giving speeches! I guess we will soon see!
RT
http://www.web-privacy.pro.tc
January 20th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Did anyone click on the link Swaim put up at the top of the page? http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/2168059/posts. That is freaking scary. That is hate on a whole other level.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Lol sorry Dan. I just think that I’ve got the next far side on my hands and am dying to get it out into the world, keep up the awesome work guys! This comedy blog is awesome, Once Im syndicated maybe I’ll do extra comics for you guys on the weekend
January 20th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Why in the HELL did they not get Bad Brains to play? They’re black, and they make much better music than any of those “artists” who were there.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Obama did not flub the oath. Chief Justice Roberts flubbed it, and Obama caught the mistake and waited for him to say it right.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:02 pm
Hey Grant, second time in a row you’ve come spamming us with your blog. We all see it. That’s enough.
January 20th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
A new Hope, and a new webcomic! http://iamanimportantman.blogspot.com
Its kind of a Far Side for the digital age
January 20th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Yes, being black has always been an advantage when running for president.
January 20th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
Just in case no one else posted it (yeah, right), Obama didn’t flub the oath. Roberts did, and it caught Obama off guard.
Which means Obama isn’t prepared for the unexpected. He blinked. You CAN’T blink. The hot Alaskan lady says so! Test one: FAILED.
January 20th, 2009 at 2:34 pm
I Really think it is sad that people vote for and support a president just because of his skin color, reminds me of not so long ago in South Africa they did the same thing.
I realy hope he succeed not because of his skin colour or because he is charismatic but rather because the world needs him to succeed.
To all those hoping for him to fail, Yes he is not the ideal man for the job, yes he got the job because of his skin color, and yes some of the things he talked about in his campaign is religiously WRONG(I am pro-life and abortion is anti-life), but for the sake of the future of our children please pray for him to succeed
January 20th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
WHOAWHOAWHOA!!!
What’s this about a parade? Why haven’t I heard about this until now?
January 20th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
So if we won the round, does that mean we get to be on Cracked’s payroll for the day?
January 20th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Gotta agree with Fitch, guys. Commenters win this round.
January 20th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
The hottie at the top, i -think- is called Carmen Electra, or something similar. She was in 300
January 20th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Barack = Gladstone :
Ba! is something I utter quite often upon hearing something that tickles me, such as anything DOB says, therefore, making me glad.
Rack is pronounced ‘rock’, which is what a stone is.
therefore, Barack = Gladstone. So all of you promising to kill Barack once he becomes president, now is your time. I’m talking to you, Somewhat White Assassin Inside Myputer.
January 20th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Well I guess it means that his right hand (the non-sinister one) will be the hand on The Button. So maybe we’ll all be okay
January 20th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Hey, wait, I’m a leftie, Sarah.
Sinister is the best!
January 20th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
McCain to Gore: “I just got off the phone…the sniper is in place on the parade route. Things are going perfectly to plan…”
January 20th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
G-Stone… what about the book of secrets? What… you mean National Treasure is a lie??? NicK Cage NoOoooOooOOoOOoOO!!!!!1
January 20th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Wait, I never noticed Obama is left-handed! Damn, my mother told me never to trust a leftie
January 20th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Arguably the best blogger quote & provided by DOB:
“George Bush is no longer the president of the United States of America.
George Bush is no longer the President. It’s kind of important to me that I get to say that twice.”
Amen to that sweetie.
TTFN folks.
January 20th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Someone is hula hooping…
CHANGE IS HERE!
January 20th, 2009 at 1:02 pm
Hey, I just got back from the john. Did I miss anything?
January 20th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
[...] By stupidandpointless From Cracked.com and their live blogging of the [...]
January 20th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
screw the speech I just want to see the parade
January 20th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
Does anyone remember the first liveblog when blogger comments automatically loaded and appeared below the last comment? Nobody had to scroll like mad up and down to keep on top of what was being said from both sides of the monitor?
Just askin’
January 20th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
i am surprised that swain didnt pick up on the fact that cheney looked like the other lebowski from the big lebowski in that wheel chair, i kept hoping a pissed of john goodman would come running and through cheney to the ground saying this guys is a fucking walker
January 20th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
I came in late and scrolled up the text really fast. I thought Aretha Franklin had replaced Ross.
I’m not sure how I feel about this.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Man, if Bush had matrix reflexes, think of what Obama will have!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
The people are actually chanting, “nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goodbye” to Dubya.
That about sums it up, I’d say.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Well gents, its been fun. But I must bid ya’ll adieu.
Time to start shining my shoe so I can throw it at Obama in a year.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I wouldn’t say that they suck at it. Maybe they were just too busy masterbating to Aretha to post?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Penis
January 20th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
A’ight, so we have determined that Obama is now ‘O-man’ and Cracked now SUCKS at live blogging.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
You wanna hear the joke that Bush told to make Obama laugh? He just smiled and him slyly and said ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’
January 20th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
So, the run down is one hour of inauguration, 23 more hours of every damned news station in the world picking over each word.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
So ABC is blaming the whole oath flub on Roberts, wonder if he just wanted to give him a “Hey don’t f with me boy” right before he could do anything about it….
January 20th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
That was fun. Comments vs. bloggers was a complete rout. Hey you guys…yeah you fellas up there on the top half of the page… Where TF is Ross Wolinsky anyway?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Obama’s wife looks like my grandmothers upholstery.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Wow, Bush is making Obama Laugh.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I used Fallout 3 to help the assassins plan out their attack. Too bad DC before a Nuke and after a Nuke are entirely different.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Obama ‘uses a 27 year old’! I’m not the only one who heard it!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
To be fair, Scrubs is insanely good this season, the final season.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Thanks to Fallout 3, I couldn’t watch the inauguration without wondering what it would be like if the Super Mutant Behemoth emerged from the Capitol Building and Obama had to smoke it with a fatboy mini nuke.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Everyone is being so harsh on Obama….he can’t bring change in 12 minutes!
Give him a few more hours. Then round up the mob.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Sarah Palin is too busy keeping an eye on Russia to watch the inauguration.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
You sure they’re BBC comentators? They don’t usually sound quite so much like they have an entire umbrella up their arse.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Anybody else picturing John McCain watching this in his underwear, alone?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
McCain wants to know why the asps he placed in the podium weren’t deployed.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
@jekelish
Hahaha!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
Coke? Everyone knows Black people like Pepsi better!
Good luck getting a Coke from Obama….unless you want that powdery coke stuff. Obama probably can get you that. Im just guessing though cuz he’s black.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
I got more out of “Chinese Democracy” being released than I did Obama actually becoming president. At least I got a Dr Pepper, and not just words. I mean, you can’t drink WORDS.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
The BBC commentator is totally orgasming over Baracks’ studly walk
January 20th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Fitch is right… Comments 472, Cracked, 23.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
“Hey, Barack’s been president for like 12 minutes now and I’m still broke…”
DOB missed Obama’s previous “Boot straps” speech.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Keith Olbermann just promised me an action packed next four years. I fully expect exploding cats and Barack taking on the terrorists in a sleeveless shirt, a couple submachine guns, and Biden tagging along saying, “I’m getting too old for this shit.”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
Check out the dude in the red fedora!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Alright so he’s president now, where’s my change? I need to get a coke.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
HAHA, did anyone else see those dudes on Fox?
They looked like they were sucking invisible cocks!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Okay, who had DOB? DOB anyone?
I think we liveblogged the whole thing better than the bloggers did, pick it up guys!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Wait, he hasn’t been assassinated yet? Where are the Barack Obombers?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
They just showed Obamas daughters, but htey looked older. They must have travelled back through time in an attempt to stop this. They arrived 45 minutes too late.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
And now follows on news coverage all the comments of the great usage of weather metaphors….such tough medicine….
January 20th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Hillary Clinton never fails to terrify…God bless her little cotton socks..
January 20th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
I’m still trying to figure out who the “red man” is…
January 20th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
This music sounds like a carnival
Gasp! could it be that Obama is a carny?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
All I see is silver scalp
January 20th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
they left because they were fucking disappointed and didnt learn a damn thing.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
ooo, I want lime green Obama beanies!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
What the fuck was that scream?!?!?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Wait, yellow can be mellow? Like, if it’s yellow, let it mellow, if it’s brown, flush it down?
He just called Asians urine. On national television. At the inaugural address.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
And now “Back in black”.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
it’s only fit that he exit with white people singing whitely.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Fun game: guess which of our government officials are just moving their lips
January 20th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Forget Obama.
I want THAT guy to be the first black president.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
The good Rev. just showed up Miss prissy poet.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
oh wow. opera.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Am I the only one who suddenly wants to hear Obama sing ‘Hey Jude’? No reason, just … I think it would be awesome.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
When yelluh, can be melluh.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
50s era skin color rhyming is the best thing that I’ve ever heard in an inaugural address.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
AMEN!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Ok old man…sigh…Amen.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
There is Oprah with her robot Stedman. He must not have spoken a word in over 15 years I think.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
No….White will no embrace what is right…NEVER!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
HAHAHAH THIS GUY IS SO AWESOME! RACIAL RHYME FOR THE ULTIMATE WIN
January 20th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
OMG he just rhymed.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
Awwwright! Rapping!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
those glasses oprah had on looks like they’re hiding one killer hangover
January 20th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
I think they should settle it with a fist fight, which would then be posted on break, so everyone goes home happy.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
This man is oddly adorable
January 20th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
i think that rev fell asleep at the mic and is just mumbling.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Looks like the microphones have tiny eyebrow toupees
January 20th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
We know you will not leave us alone…
January 20th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
dont take shots at ross, g-stone, hes not here, it isnt fair.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Man, you’d need a weed whacker for those eyebrows!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Okay, we just had G-Stone
Everyone place your bets now; who’ll blog next? you got 50/50 either way.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Oh, oh no. He’s messed himself. Someone go get a diaper and some handi-wipes. The Reverend has messed himse–oh, oh not on the carpet Reverend! Not on the carpet!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
There once was a Prez named Barack
Who was sworn into office at 12 o’clock
He gave a sweet speech
To the world his words reached
And he’s black, so he had a huge cock.
NOW THAT’S A POEM
January 20th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Did he just call Obama a servant….you are damn close to being pollitically uncorrect….dangerously close….
January 20th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
We’ve sewn the seeds of greed and corruption?
Way to be uplifting.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
my question is if people are standing so close together, what happens if one of them farts?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
if you want to understand wtf he’s talking about with harnessing earth wind and solar energy watch zeitgeist addendum, it will blow your freaking mind.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Man, watching this streaming via the Internet sucks. I think I’m a solid 15 minutes behind the TV people.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
“…and now for the benediction…” Six people applause and then I run to the next room to see if that man’s voice belongs to someone who looks like the crypt keeper. He sounds ancient.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
OMG the rev just quoted the kindergarten church song “he’s got the whole world in his hands”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
I love how everyone is already leaving
January 20th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
lol @ Michelle’s neanderthal chin…
January 20th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Don’t die, don’t die, don’t die, don’t die.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Good lord it’s the Pringles guy! But black!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
This guy seriously better say something about Whitey. If we make it through this inauguration without hearing the word “whitey” at least once, we’ve totally fucking lost as a nation.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
I think Biden’s over there following the liveblog on his BlackBerry.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
This guy is awesome!
He sounds like a black Sean Connery.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
Oh look! An Oompa Loompa!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
hey it’s the wizard of oz!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Rev Lowery? Where is Rev Wright?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
and he almost took a header on the stairs….
January 20th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
here come the cops
January 20th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
COME ON MAN! YOU CAN DO IT!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Oh, is she done? I couldn’t tell if she was done talking. I couldn’t hear her words over ALL THE FUCKING AWFUL.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
whoa snipers!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
What…if…the…mightiest…word…is…testicles?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Michelle looks board as hell with her Neanderthal chin
January 20th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
This woman is so fucking pretentious I can’t even believe it.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Are they doing poetry? That one sounds like my 3 year old nephew wrote it. “Love..is..like..a..pencil”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
obamas wife is disgusted
January 20th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Elizabeth Alexander: “…Picked the cotton”?
yikes. not here, lady.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Also, here’s hoping the memorial falls over and crushes 100,000 people.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
Is she a Shatnerite?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
“take out your pencils and begin….” ????
January 20th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Someone shoot this bitch.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Really ba-aad poetry. lovely.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
That’s not a poem, that shit doesn’t rhyme….
January 20th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
What’s….with…her…cadence?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Must…not…make…Def Poetry Slam…joke!!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
“Obama up in this hoe, watch him crank it, watch it roll, watch him crank that Souljaboy then PRESIDENT dat hoe.” That’s what I want to hear right now.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
i already hate the poem. this poet laureate sucks.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Bleedin’ awful poetry as well. I hate free verse
‘A woman and her son wait for the bus’?
STFU Elizabeth Alexander. She talks like a robot.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
…a man in his room eats cheetos
January 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
shit, shes quizing us/?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Aretha ate him.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
This could be the worst poem ever.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Or rapping. Where’s Souljaboytellem to give out the inaugural rhymes?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Ok …The Valley Forge part was definitely Cheesy. That’s cheesy with a capital “C”.
Woah! That’s it? the end?
Ahhh….”18 min.’s and 10 sec.’s”. Thanks Brian Williams. Harrison’s speech went over 2 hours. Thank you Mr. President for keeping it short and sweet.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Damn, G-stone. He definitely T-bagged you.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Poetry?
AMERICA WANTS BREAK DANCING.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Ewww…..poetry
January 20th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
I’d like to see the back of Obama’s head, Tablecrusher, if you know what I mean.
I mean I want to see the back of his head. When I have sex with him. With my dick.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Coming again, to save the mother fucking day, yea!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
I thought that shit would never end. Blah blah hope blah change. The power of American happiness will cure the world with hugs and puppies.
Ramps up the emotional impact without actually saying a damn thing. God damn he’s great at politics!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Aw shit, a poetry reading? Are they kidding?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
I think DOB got ya that time G-Stone
January 20th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
hey camera guy, get the f out of the frame. who wants a picture of the back of barack’s head…..(coughs)
January 20th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
That was a bit less climactic than I was hoping
January 20th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
USA! USA! USA!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
He said doody.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Wait, when’s Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers coming out? After this motivational black speaker is done? I really want to hear “Free Falling.”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Now I’m inspired, Go America!!!!!!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Weather metaphors seem to be a popular feature of this speech.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
He’ll start rapping soon, right?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Is that Biden woo-ing in the background?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
I haven’t traveled anywhere Mr. President, I’m in my room naked on a bean bag chair eating cheetos watching you.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:25 pm
This would have been much more interesting if he had just got up there and started singing “America, Fuck Yea!”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Is anyone else getting the creeping feeling that Obama is going to pull open his shirt and reveal one of those twin things from Total Recall?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
I was half expecting him to burst into ‘It’s a Small World’ then.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
G-Stone there were already like 10 comments about O-Man’s power to “harness the Sun”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
I’m waiting for some of the young women in the crowd to pass out from excitement, a la Beatles at Wimbley stadium
January 20th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
HA, he said “doody”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
The commenters can still give it a go, though.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
The instruments with which we meet them may be new.
Obama: solving terrorism with the theronim since 2009.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
Dear God, would someone prove Nick Jester wrong and blog?!?! Blog like the wind!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
OHHHHH, Gladstone got you good, DOB.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Every once in a while there comes along something so profound that not even snarky web bloggers can make fun of it. I’m proud to be a part of one of those moments.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
“Patrolling distant mountaintops?” I don’t think Obama understand how being in the army works.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Cracked is spending 4 minutes reading the comments, 1 minute spitting out a random statement.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
SO I PULL OUT MY GUN!!!
ONE! We better fix the earth!
TWO! we better end the war
PLEASE EVERYBODY HOPE OR ELSE IM GONNA SHOOT SOME WHORE!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
hes about to cry. what happens if he cries?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Someone re-animate the bloggers.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Man, Obama is going to solve every damn thing. World Peace! World Peace!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
You know you’re a bad-ass when you can just look at a crowd and get applause.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
How bout we worry about our nation’s suffering before we work on other’s….
January 20th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
To the people of poor nations, seriously, take a bath. You’re very dirty, and I’m president now. I don’t have to touch you.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
How can I unclench my fist if I jerking it to the O-man?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
I love how quite the bloggers are. They must be loving this stuff, too.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Know your role!!! I think he might be The Rock in disguise!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Oh wow, he’s pwning the fuck out of Bush.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
saavedra, the entire first ten minutes were pretty MASSIVE jabs at Bush. He just fell short of saying ‘the previous administration fucked the whole deal up guys’
January 20th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Non believers? Come the fuck on Obama, there are terms for those kinds of things that are less retarded.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
I’d respect him so much more if he weren’t passive-aggressive about it, saavedra
January 20th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
It disappoints me that no one there is shouting “Freebird!”, Jester. It’s kind of required by people in a large gathering anywhere. Also, there were Longhorn fans in the shots of the crowd. I think they’re required to do that if they’re wearing team colors.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
The Cracked team have just given up.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
That’s right terrorist. We’re here to instill terror in all of you. Wait what?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
I know what messed up Obama…. the size of Aretha… Obama was like “DAMNNNN”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Man, I think we broke the bloggers here
January 20th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Anybody else get the feeling that he’s kind of passive-aggressively taking jabs at Bush?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
FUCKING DINOSAURS
January 20th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Dude can talk a mean speech.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Not JUST with missiles and tanks. No, we’ll use guns as well. Maybe a couple of bombs.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Did he just say “humiliny”?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Wow, I am actually kinda liking this speech.
I may have to run down to my local Wal-Mart and get some Obama memorabilia.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
What the hell would happen if Obama pulled a gun? I don’t think they’d know what to do.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Why are we getting shots of other countries? It’s not like we rule over them…..or is that the plan??!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Bush is bored out there, he’s like “C’mon darky Tom & Jerry is on.”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
If I were there I would totally yell “Freebird!…play Freebird…Whhhoooooo!”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
You know, I’m not even listening to the actual words too closely, his tone of voice is uplifting enough.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Good thing his daughter is recording this on her camera, because you KNOW they won’t be able to find footage of his speech ANYWHERE…
January 20th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Fuck, Bush is melting.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
We must be able to produce our own unicorn urine. We can’t just be run by every Tom, Dick, and Harry republic or fascist state that makes unicorn urine.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
And WoW is under fucking maintenance!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Ok I’m bored already. He’s still saying hope and fucking change.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
Ah-ah-ah…. We will harness the earth, wind and sun to run our HOVERcars!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:16 pm
No, we can make fuel out of unicorn urine
January 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Look, Mr. PC. We lubed and rammed George Bush plenty for whatever he did and we’re gonna’ do the same to Obama. So if you feel like being a buzz-kill by making obvious comments, go attend an AA meeting. We don’t like your kind around here.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Hard work and rainbows will solve all the problems of deficit spending! Whew. I was worried for a second.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
The ground is shifting.
EARTHQUAKE ON CAPITOL HILL!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Harness the Sun and the wind and the soil? HE IS THE SON OF GOD!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Yeah, O-Man O’s. He could have a cape.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Use the sun, earth, and wind? What the hell?
He is a Indian Shaman, I always knew it!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Also, harvest the sun, wind, and soil to run our factories and cars? It sounds like he thinks we can make fuel out of magic.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I think he just told people on welfare to quit being so damned lazy…
January 20th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Instead of “re-making America” how about just putting it back together.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
I like how the comments section is moving faster than the liveblogging. Moar like “Cracked Readers Liveblog-comment-in-the-comments-section the Inauguration!” amirite?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
“So, in conclusion, Bush fucked everyone up… I’m out!”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
O-Man O’s?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Did he totally just tell off black people who live off of welfare?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Dammit! I knew I should have brought some tequila to work to shoot each time he says “Hope”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
‘O-man’ sounds like a breakfast cereal mascott to me .
January 20th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
From this moment forth, he shall be known as O-man!!!
For he truly is The Man.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Wait, wait.
Where’s that fucking puppy he promised?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
OH I GET IT! OMEN! ITS AN OMEN OF DOOM!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
I kinda wish he’d finish up his speech, I gotta go to class in like thirty seconds. Speed it up O-Man!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Wait, why is there no Ross here?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
I was fine when I swore my oath.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
O-man? I’ve never heard that name before.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
It seriously saddens me that we spent all this time waiting for an inauguration that lasted 3 minutes. And now 50 minutes of speech!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
So O-man screws up a few lines, how many people can say
they were perfectly calm when they took the oath infront
of the entire world? Oh wait, no one on cracked has done that…
January 20th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
“Thankyou for serving your country George Bush…. but you totally fucked everything up”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
America’s decline started eight years ago
January 20th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Fuck! That old camera guy’s clearly Agent 47.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Isn’t it a little strange that Biden looks like an adolescent George Bush?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
This is an amazing speech.
He is one slick motherfucker.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Obama would not be good at a frat initiation.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
well, when you say it like that…damn depressing
January 20th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Obama is totally telling America off…so hot.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
“Heh.. we must stop those turrists….We are Amurkins..”
January 20th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
You think he’ll mess up his own speech?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Yaaaaay! Violence and hatred!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
I love his weather metaphors. I *heart* you, Barack.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
It looks like Bush aged like 10 more years in the few minutes for this ceremony.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Am I the only one who just saw Obama totally screw up…Did he really just say “To Execute….” then just fucking stop??? Just wondering………
January 20th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
awww Bush look so sad . . . .
January 20th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Service to our nation? You mean being cannon-fodder for Cracked writers?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
smallest applause for bush EVER!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
The sniper was supposed to strike when the guns boomed! That’s the last time I hire an assassin off of craigslist.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
We now have a president who can’t repeat what he just heard.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
He cocked that up.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Congratulations America, welcome to the 21st century.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
The woman they keep showing who’s crying tears of happiness is marred by the vision of a girl doing the exact same thing on American Idol
January 20th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
I want George back. At least he was oblivious to his mistakes.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Did they actually just totally screw up the actual oath? Actually? Seriously?
Why, that’s hilarious!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
DB, I considered that a John Williams Gordita Crunch fart in a crowded room.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
It’s about to go all Dark Knight, and some marine will turn around and shoot him.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
“That I will execute… all of you.”
*Bomb blast*
January 20th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
so help me god……PSYCHE!!!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
wow, bit of a nervous nelly ain’t he?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Barack fluffed his lines…so he isn’t perfect…..ALL IS LOST!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
damn it he’s fucking up already!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
John Roberts cannot remember the oath.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
The first Barackism and he isn’t even in office.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Jesus! I’m actually standing. Pathetic… I know
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
He doesn’t have to swear an oath to be president?! This gives hope to anyone who’s hands may burn upon contact with a bible. (namely me)
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
oh..my…god…
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
I, Barack Obama, promise to execute everyone.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I plan on spending the swearing in masturbating to that picture of Aretha’s huge boobs.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
eager isn’t he?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Alright, lets get this fuckin’ show on the road. FI-nally.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
“It’s in inauguration, people. How exciting can it be?”
I’ve never really paid attention to this shit before, but seeing people on the news saying they were having “sleepless nights” and couldn’t wait to celebrate, I assumed it was going to be much more interesting than this.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
that was the sound of john williams pooping wasn’t it?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
Why is she back? Can’t we have something nice to look at?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Here we go!
:D 
:D 
:D 
January 20th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
HOLY SHIT!! I’m totally on time! I am so incredibly lucky, you people don’t even know!!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Some smarmy John Williams fan in the crowd is going to yell out a request for something obscure, like the theme from The Lost World.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
That asian cellist looks like he might shit himself from the excitement of playing that instrument…
January 20th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
The recorded sound of John Williams pooping would be majestic.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I’m waiting for the Darth Vader theme to wander in there somehwere…..
January 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Dan Bartlett, I just read your comment and totally agree. Is James Earl Jones there too? That would make your idea totally awesome.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
with the inauguration running like 20 min behind, who’s gonna be the first to make the joke about Obama’s administration running on “black people time”?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
It’s in inauguration, people. How exciting can it be?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Was that “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”? What the fuck is going on here?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Sounds like a rip off of lord of the dance.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
And now, ladies and gentlemen, “Smack my bitch up” by the Prodigy.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
I thought the new President was supposed to be sworn in at exactly midday? John Williams has put everyone behind.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
violinists shake too much. it worries me they may actually be all experiencing small seizures
January 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
I can haz president?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Yo-Yo Ma was totally staring at that flutist with a, “Why are you here?” look on his face. That was awesome.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
HAS IT STARTED? Holy shit, I’m so excited for this. I didn’t even know you guys were gonna do this. How dare you people try to hide this from me!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Biden looks bitter. Very bitter.
Has it finally hit him that he is the Vice President?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Further proof that the Obama presidency is being directed by Steven Spielberg.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
is that copeland i hear? seriously, is it? i haven’t taken music history in forever
January 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Thanks for the pic of Aretha, Swaim. You just ruined sex.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
He should order Biden to, instead. Just to assert his power.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
This is the part where everyone at home can run to the bathroom, make a sandwich….you get the idea
January 20th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
My god this shit is boring….
Damn, just what I want, the musical composition!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
It would be cooler if they played the star wars empire theme.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
… This shit just got made depressing.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
you would think that the president wouldn’t have to turn his neck around to watch a piece written for him
January 20th, 2009 at 12:01 pm
I want Yo Yo Ma to touch me with those brilliant hands of his.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Good lord, Swaim, you could’ve given us a warning. Ugh!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
John Williams? Holy shit! They’ve brought out the big guns for this one
January 20th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Wait. Violins. What?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
god i hate john williams, whose music did you steal for this important occasion?
January 20th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
This is the part where Biden detonates the bomb he left in Obama’s coat pocket.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
John Williams!!! You know he’s high as a kite!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Shut the fuck up English newscasters.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Ridiculous combover contest between Warren and Biden.
WHO YA GOT!?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Holy shit! Biden thinks he’s the Fonz!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Right now… Bush is president and Biden is VP… can you say awkward?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:59 am
Did he have a small seizure there?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Those beady little eyes! He looks like the Pale Man from Pan’s Labyrinth.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Right now the greatest thing that could happen is that Lincoln Bible falling apart onstage.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:58 am
i thought i was the only one who thought aretha sounded like shit.
though that bow… damn.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:58 am
He’s a squinty fucker isn’t he.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Is biden high? could blind that fucker with dental floss
January 20th, 2009 at 11:58 am
This truly is a new dawn, and a new dawn for laughter and the art of cartooning as well, http://iamanimportantman.blogspot.com it’s kind of a sequel to the Far Side, I have short essays explaining each comic as well.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:58 am
HE IS LIP SYNCHING LIKE NO FUCKING OTHER
January 20th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Who’s Biden waving at? COMMUNISTS!?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:57 am
And Biden shoots his mouth off in 3…2…1…
January 20th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Where the hell are Bidens eyes?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:57 am
So shit justice of the united states? That is no way to introduce someone
January 20th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Fat Bitch broke the microphone.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:56 am
I hate to be the one to say it, but…there comes a point when even the greatest of singers should stop performing in public
January 20th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Arethra Franklin has let herself go. She’s not what she used to be. The lifestyle got to her. The drugs. The Drink. The partying. Rock and roll’s not what it cracked up to be.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:56 am
There’s an entire unchewed turkey lodged in that woman’s gullet.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:56 am
did she just say “shamoona”
January 20th, 2009 at 11:56 am
Nice fucking hat aretha
January 20th, 2009 at 11:56 am
OH GOD KILL IT NOW PLEASE.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:56 am
So how long will it be before Barack is placed on Mt. Rushmore?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:56 am
BODY FORM FOR YOU!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Her voice sounds like a wood-saw being waved in a metal shed.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:55 am
If you take note, the pearl earrings she is wearing were actually formed between her butt cheeks
January 20th, 2009 at 11:55 am
It’s kind of funny, but they’re trying to deter our attention from that ridiculous fucking hat.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Jesus H. Christ, Aretha is rocking some serious hattitude!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:55 am
Some dildo gave the mic to a wailing old Romanian woman.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:55 am
WHOA BODYFORM!!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:55 am
mah LEAAAAHH and sa SHAAAA
January 20th, 2009 at 11:55 am
They got Aretha Franklin to sing here so it would seem like this all happened in the ’70s!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am
“My cunt……try tis of thee”… awkward pause Aretha
January 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Quite possibly the longest prayer ever.
Anyone watching on the BBC? Those commentators sure are sarcastic. Makes me proud to be British.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am
What the fuck kind of hat is that.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Aretha is so fat she has to take a breath after every other word
January 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am
what the FUCK IS ON YOUR HEAD!! GET IT OFF BEFORE IT EATS YOU!!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Check out the hat!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Wtf is this shit?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Well, the consensus seems to be that Warren wants the first daughter bad
January 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am
*Aretha Franklin looks up from devouring Obama’s youngest daughter*
January 20th, 2009 at 11:54 am
Is she hiding a second body under that coat?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Well, at least Warren can go back to not pretending to accept gay people now.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:53 am
WHERE THE FUCK IS SWAIM?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:53 am
thank got his fat ass off the stage, WOOO ARETHA!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Wait wait wait…. what the hell is going on? Did I get tricked in to watching mass on TV again?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Ok this liveblog blows… the ones during the debates were kick ass.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
He said “Sasha” rather creepily.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Do you hear the random people saying amen to end the damn prayer already…..
January 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
I love the zing he put into Sasha.
Sahsha, foo’.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
I think the reverend has a thing for Sasha.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
MALIYAH!!!
annnd SAsha!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
i wonder if Cheney has a poop bag?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
IF Obama started snoring, would we hear it?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Hi AB…
Shut the fuck up!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Obama is so hot right now, even my spell checker is highlighting his name
January 20th, 2009 at 11:51 am
I think Obama just called in the recon plane
January 20th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Did Rick just say united not by religion while praying?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Everyone fell asleep
January 20th, 2009 at 11:51 am
where the fuck are these dickbags? blog something already
January 20th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Uncle Samantha was pretty hot (the one on the right).
I WANT YOU!!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:51 am
DAMNIT RICK OPEN YOUR EYES
January 20th, 2009 at 11:50 am
“WHAT GOD ARE YOU REALLY PRAYING TO OBAMA”
SATAN.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:50 am
And the semi-automatic weapons to face THE BEAR!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:50 am
Do you think the Reverend has the cue “wait for applause” written in his speech?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:50 am
People seriously wooed during prayer. Come on.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:49 am
WHAT GOD ARE YOU REALLY PRAYING TO OBAMA
January 20th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Sit the fuck down, child.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Biden has fallen asleep.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:49 am
THERE’S WALDO!!!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Careful, if the fucker has UAV jammer and a scoped M14.
Obama better have juggernaut or we’re FUCKED.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:48 am
hell no, fuck you warren, you homophobic bastard, die in hell, i’m goin for a cigarette
January 20th, 2009 at 11:48 am
GAINED THE LEAD
January 20th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Where is Arnold? That speech would be the most badass thing ever. Ever.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:47 am
She looks like the ladybug from the James and the Giant Peach movie.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:47 am
I cant wait to see Palin come rushing out of the crowd and start firing wildly at the stage, McCain perched on her shoulders!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:47 am
i think my mom has turettes
January 20th, 2009 at 11:47 am
Wait… what about a bullet lady? Are you going to kill obama?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:47 am
I like the guy stretching his legs into the aisleway behind Feinstein.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Fucking politicians. What about the sponge of history, you pricks?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:46 am
GAINED THE LEAD!!!
LOST THE LEAD!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Does that announcer sound way out of place here? Shouldn’t he be saying “Let’s get ready to Rumble” or something?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:46 am
did you just say KKK?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:46 am
What this inauguration needs is to be Benny Hillified!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:46 am
That Californian senator is GILF.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:45 am
I’d do her!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:45 am
I love the shots of random black ppl in the crowd.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:45 am
AHHHH BARACK WATCH OUT!! ITS GORE!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:45 am
KKKKillstreak!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Guys, if you look really closely- You can see this black guy who snuck onto the big stage! I’m pretty sure he just took Biden’s wallet after shaking his hand.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:45 am
This whole event could use some Mariachi music.
Of course Cheney’s accident was a freak box-accident, MSNBC, have you ever heard of a non-freaky box-related accident?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:44 am
BOOM! Headshot!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:44 am
ready….. from the grassy knoll i reckon.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:43 am
OMFG
THERE HE IS
January 20th, 2009 at 11:43 am
those instrumentalists are terrible
January 20th, 2009 at 11:43 am
One of those trumpets is an RPG…
January 20th, 2009 at 11:43 am
i need one of those trumpets
January 20th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Is it just me, or does the announcer sound like he ought to be doing movie previews? His voice is DESIGNED to say ‘In a world…’ and I demand that he starts every sentence like that from now on.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:42 am
No doubt, Obama hit that Primo bud before coming out.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:41 am
DOB, if this is the WWE, does that mean that midway through the inauguration Hillary is going to rip open her jacket to reveal a “Hillary 08, bitches!” shirt and hit Obama with a chair?
“Good god, that’s Hillary Clinton’s music!”
January 20th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Racist, but funny. Although it’s prob not true; a friend of mine has a sister in secret service, and apparently it’s way fucking harder than you think to take down a prez.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Pretty sure Keith Olbermann just implied that Obama is high.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:41 am
Did MSNBC just say that Obama was “preternaturally calm?” Are they saying Obama’s not human???
January 20th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Wait, who’s that black guy in the red tie?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:40 am
my mom just yelled out, “DEAD MAN WALKING”, so racist
January 20th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Lady, I believe the thing keeping him calm right now is xanax
January 20th, 2009 at 11:39 am
@Chase - thank you! It was driving me nuts trying to figure out who Cheney reminded me of in that wheelchair.
Does that make Obama George Bailey?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:39 am
He’s got a knife! Look out, Biden!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Biden looks like a fucking supervillain.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:39 am
Barack is so damn handsome
January 20th, 2009 at 11:39 am
cheney in a wheelchair is still damn frightening, i keep imagining him turning into a giant vulture and eating all the members of congress
January 20th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Why do they always have to interview the most ignorant people they can find?
ooh, here comes the big man!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Except I’m not necessarily thinking sexually… just offensiveness in general, which is kind of my thing.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:38 am
DOB’s soloing the liveblog? DOES THE MAN HAVE NO LIMITS?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:38 am
That’s what I meant Mike. Thanks!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:37 am
BBC must be running a couple of minutes behind the U.S networks.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Lolannouncer can’t pronounce senator.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Padre, you can basically masturbate to anybody in this whole thing, except the kids. If that’s what you mean by “boundaries”?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Wow, Cheney is Mr. Potter from It’s a Wonderful Life. I mean, more than usual.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Se-se-se-senator…
January 20th, 2009 at 11:36 am
nice, vandal. ME like
January 20th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Yeah, I’d dip my fruit in that chocolate!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Not long ago, that guy was spraying his buddies with bird-shot just for looking at him wrong, and now he’s in a wheelchair. How sad.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:35 am
People are booing Bush?
Or is it Boo-urns…
January 20th, 2009 at 11:35 am
What kind of boundaries do I have down here before I get banned?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:34 am
It’s kinda hard to refresh the browser, pay attention, AND eat lunch at the same time :/
January 20th, 2009 at 11:34 am
DAMN Michelle Obama is one fine piece of dark chocolate.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:34 am
Liveblog, bitches!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:34 am
gorman.
i do indeed live in WA.
…it seems to ruin everything.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:33 am
IT STARTED OMFG YAY.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:32 am
WHERES MCCAIN?!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:32 am
Is the liveblog here? In the comments section?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:31 am
LIVEBLOGGGGG!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Shit just got real.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Even if it was Disney on Ice I’d still masturbate.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:30 am
IM EXCITED!!!!1
January 20th, 2009 at 11:30 am
How do you subscribe to the RSS?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:29 am
I think so, John.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:29 am
I thought this WAS Disney in Ice!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Ah good! Cheers Mike
January 20th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Do we have to refresh the browser on this one?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:28 am
What network is everyone on? I wanna be on the same page.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:27 am
I think so Seymour.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Arethra Franklin?
She’s still alive?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Im watching this on BBC!! Will it match to the pictures you americans see?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Ah, thankyou!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:26 am
The “Biden” Daughters look quite dark to me…
January 20th, 2009 at 11:25 am
Who was the huge white woman in Pink? She looked miserable.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Sideshowjim: There’s an RSS feed you can use….
January 20th, 2009 at 11:24 am
Looks eerily similar to the 1934 Nuremberg Rally. Oh-uh…
January 20th, 2009 at 11:22 am
DOB, shouldn’t you be on the Capitol steps in your Spider-Man costume?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Do they just wheel out all the previous presidents to mock them?
And I have a hat like that trumpeters!
YEAH!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:20 am
What’s with the Disney on Ice music?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Am I gonna have to hit refresh to read every new comment? Or am I being totally retarded?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:15 am
Ha Ha, George Bush Snr is dressed like Hugh Hefner. Now that’s a real pimp!
January 20th, 2009 at 11:13 am
I swear Al Gore is slowly morphing into James Gandolfini.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:11 am
the guy in the red and black pimp suit i mean
January 20th, 2009 at 11:10 am
is that a pimp?
January 20th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Wow… Dob intents to be the first to leave a comment so it seems…
January 20th, 2009 at 11:07 am
Never mind Gemma Atkinson, who is the second girl? She is hotness
January 20th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Half an hour to go!!! just enough time to make a cup of coffee and take a dump.
January 20th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Chris Matthews just advocated the wholesale slaughter of the Bush family. Sort of.
January 20th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Right, time to set up my laptop and box of masturbatory tissues.
January 20th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Will there be boobs on the liveblog? I, I think I’ll need those boobs….
January 20th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Don’t forget to notice how AWESOME it is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 20th, 2009 at 10:46 am
HOLY SHIT IT’S ALMOST LIVEBLOG TIME HOLY SHIT!
January 20th, 2009 at 10:45 am
KJ… the ceremony takes place at 4.00am AEDST, unless you live in WA?
January 20th, 2009 at 10:24 am
Needless to say, she has very cute BOOBS!! lots pretty chicks like her should be very famous on the tall dating site: ___Tallmingle.com___. Maybe she can join to attend the sexy session to attract tall guys!! at least, that’s what my bros and i happen to know!!
January 20th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Yippeee! I actually have today off and was planning on watching the ceremony…but I don’t have a laptop.
The last liveblog I was using a splitscreen on my PC with a feed from ABC news which was about 90 sec.’s slow(thanks to DSL). All my comments were about 2 minutes slow and off topic. I hid the ABC screen and was using sound only so I totally missed out on McCain’s Godzilla impersonation.
(RE the blond in the pink bra: maybe they’re filled with helium ?)
January 20th, 2009 at 8:22 am
LIving in Australia means I have to wait until 1.30 in the morning to watch this.
decision: a) go to sleep. ignore liveblog on bang-ability of famous people. and dick jokes.
b) drink 3 cans of red bull and don’t sleep.
Hmmmmmm. tough decision…
January 20th, 2009 at 8:19 am
Ah, I am so lucky and privileged to have a snow day today.
We got four inches of snow here and all of North Carolina basically shuts down
Looks like I get to stay here today!
January 20th, 2009 at 8:01 am
of course the only friggin class I have today is at 11, and since it is the first day, I can’t miss it :\
January 20th, 2009 at 7:35 am
this is gypsy shit i have class from 11:30-5:30
January 20th, 2009 at 6:43 am
luckily I don’t have school today. I get to read this.
January 20th, 2009 at 4:02 am
“Short hair is gross”
Sooo, how’s the closet?
January 20th, 2009 at 3:19 am
Crap
Edit:
*sight of godly boobs.
January 20th, 2009 at 3:19 am
The pictures has some sort of subliminal message…
… Or maybe its just the site godly boobs XD
January 20th, 2009 at 1:59 am
Oy gevalt, another Liveblog post…I can’t wait to hear ten thousand posts about how much they’d love to bang Sarah Palin.
January 20th, 2009 at 1:39 am
Damn, I’m in Australia and this thing starts at 3:30am my time. That’s when I go to bed!
January 20th, 2009 at 1:37 am
Get those ugly boobs out of my face!
January 20th, 2009 at 12:18 am
Killface, I think it’s Carmen Electra. Though I could be wrong.
January 20th, 2009 at 12:18 am
First pic is Gemma Atkinson, second looks like Carmen Electra. Thanks for the tease!
January 19th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
Who is the girl in the second image?
January 19th, 2009 at 11:14 pm
blargh, iamanimportantman.blogspot.com haha
January 19th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
I’m looking forward to it, this blog while a tad vulgar at times “Cracks” me up. In the meantime why don’t you all check out my webcomic?
http://iamanimportantman.blogspot Its kind of a sequel to the Far Side, I’m hoping to get it syndicated soon
January 19th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
wait a minute… 11:30 am…
That’s my lunch period. If I go right to the library, I can watch on the computers.
How long is the inauguration ceremony?
January 19th, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Damn. 3:30 AM on Wednesday here in Aust. Damn.
January 19th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Wow… I don’t normally like blondes… or women… but… holy jesus.
Uhm, politically relevant comment.
Ok, who am I kidding… TITS XD
January 19th, 2009 at 9:45 pm
No one’s taking the bomb seriously except DOB and Swaim! This are the kind of thing we as a nation should be concerned about!
January 19th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
More boobs!
January 19th, 2009 at 8:33 pm
Oh god, someone save the First Lady from the DOB.
January 19th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
why isnt this a list?
January 19th, 2009 at 7:36 pm
What do the incredibly hot girls have to do with Obama, or MCcain??
Maybe Sarah Palin, but that’s the only conection I see with tomorrow.
January 19th, 2009 at 6:37 pm
wait, thats what the girl from the new command and conquer game looks like in her underwear? why didnt they put that in the game?
January 19th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
I clicked here thinking the president had already been inaugurated. What day is today?
January 19th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
I read this after watching the new cracked tv, GIVE SWAIM HIS KID BACK YOU BASTARD.
January 19th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Lookin’ forward to it, guys.
January 19th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
You’ll be liveblogging while drunk?
Wont it be 9am over there?
Or oh, 11.30, is that 2pm in the UK?
January 19th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
i have to agree with bearman. its just wrong.
January 19th, 2009 at 4:48 pm
Admit it. Most of you clicked this due to the image. I know I did. lol
January 19th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
I will, very regrettably, be at school, but I look forward to reading afterwards.
January 19th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/pages/Daniel-OBrien/45034426016?ref=ts
We’ll reproduce the pictures there. If Cracked lets us. Because you do not steal from Cracked.
January 19th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
One day plastic surgeons will realize that boobs aren’t supposed to stand up like that when a woman is laying on her back.
January 19th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
The blonde in the pink bra wants me.
January 19th, 2009 at 3:10 pm
I couldn’t read the article. It might not be bad, it’s just all the blood left my brain.
January 19th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
“Short hair is gross”
You’ll like this pic of her better, then:
http://tinyurl.com/75tuju
January 19th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Lovin’ the ladies, gives us Brits a good idea of what you guys are really thinking about. And some eye candy at the same time
January 19th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
….not sure what the words are between the hotness….but this is by far my most favorite cracked blog ever…..
January 19th, 2009 at 2:27 pm
fuck she has one good picture and that it.
Short hair is gross
January 19th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
the hottie at the top is Gemma Atkinson from the UK.
January 19th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Fake titties scare me.
January 19th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
I think the top hottie is DOB’s mom!
January 19th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
anyone know the name of the hottie at the top? (subquestion: your mom?)
January 19th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Your one-liners will be alcohol-fueled at 11:30 AM EST? Damn, I’m clearly not entering the job market from the right angle.
January 19th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
This alone makes the elections worth it
January 19th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
Who will be first? (Subquestion: Me?)
FIRST!
January 19th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
anyone know the name of the hottie at the top?
She’s fuckin smokin