Cracked Columnists

Cracked Liveblogs the Final Presidential Debate

  • 8:52 PMRoss Wolinsky - (tap, tap) Is this thing on?
  • 8:58 PMJack O'Brien - Quick note if an entire sentence is in ALL CAPS, that's a direct trancsript from the debate
  • 8:58 PMJack O'Brien - Or at least our best guess
  • 8:58 PMJack O'Brien - OK, live blog's LIVE
  • 8:59 PMMichael Swaim - Sorry I'm late. I was letting the audience stew for a while, to build anticipation. Like a rock star.
  • 9:00 PMDan O'Brien - Thanks for the tips, Jackawanna County.
  • 9:00 PMRoss Wolinsky - I'm eating a steak right now.
  • 9:00 PMMichael Swaim - Except I have it on good authority that rock stars are usually just masturbating backstage, whereas I was standing a few feet from my computer writing that joke.
  • 9:00 PMRoss Wolinsky - It will give me the quick energy I need to analyze political discourse.
  • 9:01 PMMichael Swaim - THe political discourse our candidates are GUARANTEED to dish out. It CAN'T be boring; it's around a TABLE this time.
  • 9:01 PMDan O'Brien - My Buddy, Joe, is at this debate. Look for a remarkably tall, Asian dude. He'll probably be very well dressed, possibly sitting next to Rosario Dawson.
  • 9:02 PMRoss Wolinsky - I'd like to address something right up front: A comment from someone named "Blake":

    "I dont know why you guys do this. Your unfunny, infantile and immature and this debate is not a laughing matter. Your insukts towards these presidential candidates are reprehensible and I honestly hope that you guys wise up and pay attention to these issues or do I???"
  • 9:02 PMDan O'Brien - Should we stop?
  • 9:02 PMMichael Swaim - I swear, you've got to watch this thing online. They have all kinds of crazy dance music before the debate.
  • 9:02 PMMichael Swaim - And pop up ads.
  • 9:02 PMMichael Swaim - Also, fuck Blake. Moving on.
  • 9:02 PMRoss Wolinsky - Yeah. Sorry guys, liveblog is canceled.
  • 9:02 PMRoss Wolinsky - Thank Blake.
  • 9:02 PMMichael Swaim - 9 minute segments? 2 minute rebuttals? This is already way over my head.
  • 9:02 PMDan O'Brien - Blake the Snake.
  • 9:03 PMDan O'Brien - EZ Blake Oven.
  • 9:03 PMRoss Wolinsky - Dump The Body In The Blake.
  • 9:03 PMRoss Wolinsky - Don't go in the Blake. Fish piss in him.
  • 9:03 PMDan O'Brien - Blake the leaves before your father gets home.
  • 9:04 PMDan O'Brien - Or he'll blake your neck.
  • 9:04 PMMichael Swaim - Obama: "Trouble in Wall Street? No, I did NOT know that. Huh. That's...I'll have to look into that. Fuck."
  • 9:04 PMRoss Wolinsky - Dan: We have to stop playing your wacky name game. There's political stuff happening.
  • 9:04 PMRoss Wolinsky - For starters, something is wrong with Nancy Reagan.
  • 9:04 PMMichael Swaim - He's already pulling the "pray for Nancy Reagan" card.
  • 9:04 PMMichael Swaim - He must be in a tight spot
  • 9:04 PMHbn Gladstone - oh here we go
  • 9:04 PMHbn Gladstone - Hi
  • 9:04 PMDan O'Brien - McCain was asked why his plan is better, and he's not saying it.
  • 9:05 PMMichael Swaim - Wow, i totally didn't even notice you weren't here. I wonder what that means.
  • 9:05 PMRoss Wolinsky - It goes without saying: Because he is older and whiter.
  • 9:05 PMDan O'Brien - "McCain why is your plan better than Obama's?" "Say, did you hear about Nancy Reagan?"
  • 9:05 PMRoss Wolinsky - Speaking of older and whiter, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Gladstone!
  • 9:05 PMMichael Swaim - Of course it'll collapse without a floor. That's just basic carpentry fact.
  • 9:05 PMHbn Gladstone - BTW, i lied on the blog. I'm not just drinking expensive scotch tonight
  • 9:05 PMDan O'Brien - Unless Obama's plan somehow put Nancy Reagan in the hospital.
  • 9:06 PMHbn Gladstone - I'm going to drink something cheaper: unicorn tears in a faberge egg goblet.
  • 9:06 PMRoss Wolinsky - Obama did NOT express worry about Nancy Reagan. I guess I'm voting McCain after all.
  • 9:06 PMDan O'Brien - Obama didn't explicitly express sadness over Nancy Reagan's hospitalization.
  • 9:06 PMDan O'Brien - Hey!
  • 9:06 PMRoss Wolinsky - How long you been working up that gem, G Stone Raw?
  • 9:06 PMDan O'Brien - That actually makes me want to vote for Obama.
  • 9:06 PMDan O'Brien - I want a candidate that has the balls to ignore Nancy Reagan's helpless cries.
  • 9:07 PMMichael Swaim - I heard on This American Life that the rescue plan was bullshit. Ira Glass was all "nuts to that."
  • 9:07 PMDan O'Brien - I heard that, too, the Podcast? That shit was awesome.
  • 9:07 PMRoss Wolinsky - I heard on This American Life that life is full of unexpected beauty and wonderment.
  • 9:07 PMHbn Gladstone - Obama said "package"
  • 9:07 PMMichael Swaim - Yeah, I felt like a financial hotshot. I put on a powdered wig and everything.
  • 9:08 PMMichael Swaim - Uh oh. Gladstone started drinking four hours ago.
  • 9:08 PMHbn Gladstone - OH HERE IT COMES!!!
  • 9:08 PMDan O'Brien - McCain's got a noticeable advantage: With a table in front of him, his creepy "robot arms" don't look as creepy.
  • 9:08 PMMichael Swaim - The vomit? You drunk?
  • 9:08 PMHbn Gladstone - NO. The McCain smackdown
  • 9:08 PMJack O'Brien - The first question btw: I WILL ASK BOTH OF YOU: WHY IS YOUR (ECONOMIC BAILOUT) PLAN BETTER THAN HIS?
  • 9:08 PMHbn Gladstone - about JOE
  • 9:08 PMRoss Wolinsky - John McCain has a weird kind of Terminator Mech Warrior kind of posture going there.
  • 9:08 PMHbn Gladstone - Thanks Jack
  • 9:08 PMJack O'Brien - Hopefully I can keep these updates this timely throughout the evening
  • 9:08 PMHbn Gladstone - Is that from the Dukakis debate
  • 9:08 PMMichael Swaim - I appreciate that this guy runs the debate like a preschool. "Do you want to ask a question John? Raise your...oh, right."
  • 9:08 PMHbn Gladstone - way to be speedy
  • 9:09 PMMichael Swaim - Well at least he yelled it.
  • 9:09 PMRoss Wolinsky - One of John McCain's eyes just started glowing red.
  • 9:09 PMHbn Gladstone - Wait. Is Joe the Plumber a terrorist?
  • 9:09 PMDan O'Brien - Does Obama's tax plan specifically forbid Joe the plumber from doing something?
  • 9:09 PMRoss Wolinsky - Did you guys see that? His eye just glowed red.
  • 9:09 PMMichael Swaim - "Joe the Plumber...GIVE ME BACK MY SON!"
  • 9:09 PMDan O'Brien - POW!
  • 9:09 PMDan O'Brien - McCain's writing notes down with a sharpie marker. What a fucking baby.
  • 9:10 PMMichael Swaim - Polite ripple of laughter: two points.
  • 9:10 PMDan O'Brien - "What's a matter, you can't see when you write in pen?"
  • 9:10 PMRoss Wolinsky - John McCain was sent back from the future to save the economy. Unfortunately, they sent back a really, really old machine. Like a T-1912. It was a clerical error of some sort.
  • 9:10 PMHbn Gladstone - That's not a black marker. It's a tumor.
  • 9:10 PMDan O'Brien - He's actually from a future seventy years before our time
  • 9:10 PMMichael Swaim - No way, man...sharpie is final. No revision. No going back. In some African tribes, the manhood rite involves drawing balls on your own forehead with a fresh sharpie.
  • 9:10 PMDan O'Brien - Wait, is Joe the Plumber an actual guy?
  • 9:10 PMHbn Gladstone - Is Joe's last name really "the plumber"
  • 9:10 PMRoss Wolinsky - That's Joe Sixpack's cousin.
  • 9:10 PMHbn Gladstone - NO
  • 9:10 PMDan O'Brien - It's Le Pumbre, he's French.
  • 9:11 PMDan O'Brien - And probably very offended.
  • 9:11 PMHbn Gladstone - It's Joe D"plumber
  • 9:11 PMMichael Swaim - This guy's got the ear of everyone in power...he's like his own shadow government!
  • 9:11 PMRoss Wolinsky - Wait - Obama wants to take money away from PLUMBERS?!
  • 9:11 PMHbn Gladstone - I bet joe's money has feces on it
  • 9:11 PMMichael Swaim - On the plus side, our pipes will be snug and unclogged.
  • 9:11 PMDan O'Brien - I can't just see him, sitting in front of his TV, wearing a beret, eating cheese, "Saucle' Bleu! It is 'Le Plumbre!' "
  • 9:11 PMHbn Gladstone - Democrats are declaring class warfare on plumbers?
  • 9:11 PMMichael Swaim - STOP SAYING JOE THE PLUMBER!!! OUR NATION IS NOT A METAPHORICAL BLUE COLLAR WORKER!
  • 9:12 PMMichael Swaim - Obama wants class warfare? I better got stock up on molten gold to drop on the peasants.
  • 9:12 PMRoss Wolinsky - These intellectual Muslim lefties with their tax raises and their fancy suits and even-handed temperaments... THEY WANT TO STEAL FROM PLUMBERS!
  • 9:12 PMHbn Gladstone - Joe the plumber makes over 250k.
  • 9:12 PMHbn Gladstone - DOES EVERYONE UNDERSTAND THAT???
  • 9:12 PMRoss Wolinsky - Joe The Plumber doesn't know how many houses he has.
  • 9:13 PMDan O'Brien - Look, the plumbers have been dragging down this nation long enough and, frankly, I think we're all a little sick of their bullshit.
  • 9:13 PMMichael Swaim - Yeah, why the hell would you increase taxes on Warren Buffet? It just hurts America...and my campaign financiers.
  • 9:13 PMHbn Gladstone - just because his last name is "the plumber" doesn't mean he's poor.
  • 9:13 PMMichael Swaim - Eatin' mushrooms, savin' princesses...it's all just so glamorous.
  • 9:13 PMDan O'Brien - Knew it was coming.
  • 9:13 PMRoss Wolinsky - You know what's weird? Right now there are 150 million Americans watching this thinking that McCain is winning. I wonder what that's like?!
  • 9:13 PMDan O'Brien - I applaud us all for holding off on a Mario reference for so long.
  • 9:13 PMMichael Swaim - I met a homeless man named Joe The Investment Banker.
  • 9:14 PMDan O'Brien - Hope Jack is writing up this absurdly long question.
  • 9:14 PMMichael Swaim - That wasn't a Mario reference; it was a reference to my friend Toph. One time he took a bunch of mushrooms and kidnapped a girl.
  • 9:14 PMHbn Gladstone - This question is just of fuck with Jack.
  • 9:14 PMMichael Swaim - It was terrible.
  • 9:14 PMMichael Swaim - McCain: "I'm sorry, what?"
  • 9:14 PMRoss Wolinsky - Gladstone, you know we're supposed to get drunk THROUGHOUT the debate, right? Not BEFORE it?
  • 9:15 PMDan O'Brien - Obama says we've been living beyond our means, and we need to watch our spending.
  • 9:15 PMJack O'Brien - Question 2: AREN'T YOU BOTH IGNORING REALITY? WON'T SOME OF THE PROGRAMS YOU'RE PROPOSING HAVE TO BE TRIMMED...EVEN ELIMINATED? GIVE US SOME EXAMPLES OF WHAT YOU'RE PROPOSING.
  • 9:15 PMHbn Gladstone - I don't get it Jack? Is that some sort of joke?
  • 9:15 PMMichael Swaim - Watch 'em dance!
  • 9:15 PMHbn Gladstone - Who's dumb idea was it to write out the questions?
  • 9:16 PMRoss Wolinsky - You know they're still using two-ply in the Pentagon?
  • 9:16 PMMichael Swaim - Net spending cut="I'm going to cut stuff, but seriously...nothing you like. Like, shit factories. I'm not sure why we even still have them."
  • 9:16 PMRoss Wolinsky - Can you believe that shit?
  • 9:16 PMMichael Swaim - Programs should work better. I'm collecting vague platitudes this debate.
  • 9:16 PMDan O'Brien - Can we cut spending on education? We TRIED pouring money into that sinking ship, and it's clearly not working. Stupid people are everywhere. Let's just cut our losses.
  • 9:16 PMMichael Swaim - "You gotta spend money to make money!" Um, Barack...we have no money.
  • 9:17 PMRoss Wolinsky - "I'd just like to get back to talking to something else that has nothing to do with what we're talking about."
  • 9:17 PMDan O'Brien - Is McCain not gonna say "My friends?" Not even once?
  • 9:17 PMMichael Swaim - Profligate. He just cinched the librarian vote.
  • 9:17 PMRoss Wolinsky - "WE NEED NUCLEAR POWER" IS NOT A CUT!
  • 9:17 PMHbn Gladstone - We don't have a drinking game
  • 9:17 PMDan O'Brien - You don't need one.
  • 9:17 PMRoss Wolinsky - You don't need one
  • 9:17 PMHbn Gladstone - Unless it's drink every time Ross indicates how much he hates me
  • 9:17 PMRoss Wolinsky - NOICE!
  • 9:17 PMMichael Swaim - I'd say Joe the Plumber, but I'd fear making it to the end of the debate without going blind.
  • 9:18 PMHbn Gladstone - Mccain would get out a hatchet and then a scalpel??
  • 9:18 PMRoss Wolinsky - The rest of us drink when Gladstone accidentally reveals his alcohol problem.
  • 9:18 PMHbn Gladstone - What does that mean
  • 9:18 PMRoss Wolinsky - (drinking now)
  • 9:18 PMDan O'Brien - McCain wants to get a hatchet and THEN a scalpel. He'd be both a terrible doctor and a terrible carpenter.
  • 9:18 PMMichael Swaim - Joe the Surgeon told him what to do.
  • 9:18 PMRoss Wolinsky - McCain the doctor would be amputating limbs left and right.
  • 9:18 PMHbn Gladstone - He'll cut your head off and then remove your melonoma thereafter.
  • 9:18 PMRoss Wolinsky - (drinking now)
  • 9:19 PMMichael Swaim - I don't think he could possibly choose more obscure programs to cut.
  • 9:19 PMHbn Gladstone - AGAIN WITH THE OVERHEAD PROJECTOR!!!!!
  • 9:19 PMRoss Wolinsky - Again with the projector thing.
  • 9:19 PMHbn Gladstone - And obama hates pork too. He's a muslim. Oops.
  • 9:19 PMDan O'Brien - Seriously, what the fuck is McCain's problem with Planetariums?
  • 9:19 PMRoss Wolinsky - "If I am elected, I will make sure that planetariums and other educational centers receive ABSOLUTELY NO FUNDING WHATSOEVER."
  • 9:19 PMMichael Swaim - No one's going to miss the "department of earmarking sugar cane overproduction to the phillipines."
  • 9:19 PMRoss Wolinsky - He hates space.
  • 9:19 PMHbn Gladstone - Wait, i forgot how stupid the internet was. Obama is not a muslim. He's a Christian. Just like YOU America.
  • 9:19 PMDan O'Brien - He's not a Muslim, he's an Arab. Or a Klingon. They all kind of blend together, to me.
  • 9:20 PMHbn Gladstone - CAn we all agree that Bob Scheiffer is by far the best moderator so far?
  • 9:20 PMMichael Swaim - He looks more like a vulcan.
  • 9:20 PMMichael Swaim - Definitely.
  • 9:20 PMDan O'Brien - Absolutely, Gladstone.
  • 9:20 PMHbn Gladstone - Oh!!! If you want to read a smarter, funnier guy blog, go here:
  • 9:20 PMRoss Wolinsky - That's Bob Scheiffer? I thought it was Charlie Rose.
  • 9:20 PMMichael Swaim - He's actually extracting information. Miracles abound.
  • 9:20 PMDan O'Brien - He's a Maverick if I've ever seen one.
  • 9:20 PMDan O'Brien - Can we vote for Schieffer?
  • 9:21 PMRoss Wolinsky - I think my TV has Charlie Rose.
  • 9:21 PMMichael Swaim - If you vote, nerd.
  • 9:21 PMDan O'Brien - McCain's got some giant fucking eyes.
  • 9:21 PMDan O'Brien - It'd be cooler if he had giant, fucking-eyes.
  • 9:21 PMRoss Wolinsky - They've seen horrible atrocities.
  • 9:21 PMRoss Wolinsky - Like his wife naked. ZING!
  • 9:21 PMDan O'Brien - "Work the balls."
  • 9:21 PMMichael Swaim - You heard it here kids: Don't rock the boat, try not to vote. It's not that catchy, but it's going to catch on nevertheless.|
  • 9:21 PMRoss Wolinsky - (just kidding, she's a babe)
  • 9:21 PMHbn Gladstone -blog.indecision2008.com
  • 9:22 PMHbn Gladstone - Sorry, here is another live debate blog:
  • 9:22 PMMichael Swaim - What the hell, Gladstone? You traitor.
  • 9:22 PMHbn Gladstone - THEY ARE ALSO LINKING US!!!
  • 9:22 PMRoss Wolinsky - No, it's cool - they quoted me.
  • 9:22 PMDan O'Brien - Oh, okay.
  • 9:23 PMRoss Wolinsky - Is it me, or does Obama kind of look like a muppet?
  • 9:23 PMDan O'Brien - Obama's not popular with teachers or environmentalists.
  • 9:23 PMMichael Swaim - I don't care. As far as our readers know, the Internet is just one page, and I want to keep it that way.
  • 9:23 PMHbn Gladstone - It's you, Ross. you look like Praire Dawn.
  • 9:23 PMDan O'Brien - Wow, did Fox News just get a laugh?
  • 9:23 PMMichael Swaim - "I'm really wildly unpopular."
  • 9:23 PMRoss Wolinsky - Do NOT bring up torture with John McCain.
  • 9:23 PMMichael Swaim - From McCain, too.
  • 9:24 PMRoss Wolinsky - Inside McCain's head: "DIDDY MAO!"
  • 9:24 PMDan O'Brien - "Teachers, Environmentalists, at least one plumber, people who enjoy torture- They all hate me."
  • 9:24 PMMichael Swaim - It's nice to know the people running for office also think it's a sinkhole of fathomless bullshit.
  • 9:24 PMHbn Gladstone - McCain got his scars from Republicans??? That is news to me.
  • 9:24 PMHbn Gladstone - I thought the scars came from
  • 9:24 PMRoss Wolinsky - Here's a hard-hitting question that has not been addressed: What do each of these candidates smell like?
  • 9:24 PMHbn Gladstone - Vietnemese
  • 9:25 PMHbn Gladstone - Cancer
  • 9:25 PMMichael Swaim - Hatchet scars or scalpel scars? Big difference.
  • 9:25 PMHbn Gladstone - and Ross.
  • 9:25 PMRoss Wolinsky - What do you call Palin? That's a tumor that, once removed, will leaYve a nasty scar.
  • 9:25 PMDan O'Brien - And a trail of slime.
  • 9:25 PMMichael Swaim - Hey, you boned her a week ago, if you'll recall. At least by digital proxy.
  • 9:25 PMRoss Wolinsky - I believe you're thinking of Slimer, Dan.
  • 9:25 PMDan O'Brien - Oh, good, we're talking about their Campaign Ads. How important for the future of this nation.
  • 9:26 PMRoss Wolinsky - Very similar, but Slimer's latest child was not retarded.
  • 9:26 PMMichael Swaim - Has there EVER been a campaign that didn't turn nasty? I think FDR's opponent called him a "doddering old fag."
  • 9:26 PMDan O'Brien - How fucking important. I want a president who's wise enough to make catchy commercials.
  • 9:26 PMJack O'Brien - BS: BOTH OF YOU PLEDGED TO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD IN THIS CAMPAIGN YET IT HAS TURNED VERY NASTY...
  • 9:26 PMMichael Swaim - McCain: "tough campaign...not quite as tough as my campaign in VIETNAM. COME ON!"
  • 9:26 PMHbn Gladstone - Segregation is the worst aspect in American history?
  • 9:27 PMHbn Gladstone - Does it top slavery?
  • 9:27 PMDan O'Brien - McCain: "This campaign might sound dirty to YOU, but that's only because you haven't spend time in a two foot by four foot cage in Vietnam. Talk about dirty. FUCKING TALK ABOUT DIRTY!"
  • 9:27 PMMichael Swaim - If he had even one outburst like that, I think I'd have to question my severe liberal bias.
  • 9:28 PMRoss Wolinsky - They should have a torture-off. I bet Obama could take more.
  • 9:28 PMDan O'Brien - Then they should have a cancer off.
  • 9:28 PMMichael Swaim - Obama's got the aloof, but slightly sarcastic smirk DOWN.
  • 9:28 PMRoss Wolinsky - Yes - and torture each other with the ribbons.
  • 9:28 PMMichael Swaim - It's like he's constantly saying "yeah, sure, whatevs."
  • 9:28 PMDan O'Brien - Totally. He's saying "I'm better than you," but he's not being elitist about it, somehow.
  • 9:29 PMMichael Swaim - Wow, is the audience in complete darkness? The temptation to sleep/make out must be intolerable.
  • 9:29 PMRoss Wolinsky - He left his monocle at home.
  • 9:29 PMMichael Swaim - Especially if Palin's in the audience.
  • 9:29 PMRoss Wolinsky - He does have a tiny pair of gold binoculars in his pocket, though.
  • 9:29 PMHbn Gladstone - Obama speaks as slowly as I did in the first Hate By Numbers.
  • 9:29 PMDan O'Brien - She's not. (Someone PLEASE take this bitch off my hands.)
  • 9:29 PMMichael Swaim - And I did in the first S.W.A.I.M.
  • 9:29 PMRoss Wolinsky - Here we go...
  • 9:30 PMMichael Swaim - I think every visionary orator goes through it, Wayne.
  • 9:30 PMRoss Wolinsky - Gladstone, do you have a Facebook profile I can befriend?
  • 9:30 PMHbn Gladstone - Oh, right Swaim. I'm so glad I finally know what you look like.
  • 9:30 PMDan O'Brien - And I did in my high school production of "The Man Who Came to Dinner"
  • 9:30 PMMichael Swaim - Which is what we are, to be clear. Visionary. Geniuses.
  • 9:30 PMRoss Wolinsky - HE LIKES FOOTBALL?!?!?!
  • 9:30 PMRoss Wolinsky - McCain likes football!!!
  • 9:30 PMRoss Wolinsky - Whoa... did he just go from football to stem cell research? He's GOOD.
  • 9:31 PMMichael Swaim - Quite a segue.
  • 9:31 PMDan O'Brien - To be fair, he's senile. He has no idea.
  • 9:31 PMHbn Gladstone - Not only does McCAin support stem cell. He keeps a petri dish on his face.
  • 9:31 PMMichael Swaim - To IMMIGRATION.
  • 9:31 PMMichael Swaim - Wow.
  • 9:31 PMRoss Wolinsky - It's like stream of consciousness.
  • 9:31 PMRoss Wolinsky - He's basically doing beat poetry.
  • 9:31 PMRoss Wolinsky - This is Def Poetry Election.
  • 9:31 PMMichael Swaim - All they ever do is talk shit about each other and then complain about the shit being talked. This is like running on a hamster wheel.
  • 9:32 PMMichael Swaim - Which reminds me of foreign policy.
  • 9:32 PMMichael Swaim - SEGUE!
  • 9:33 PMDan O'Brien - Obama just called us cynical.
  • 9:33 PMDan O'Brien - Typical political bullshit.
  • 9:33 PMMichael Swaim - Sarcastic chuckling is like one of the cornerstones of a Presidential campaign.
  • 9:33 PMDan O'Brien - And then he said "Tit."
  • 9:33 PMRoss Wolinsky - do you guys see the "PWND!!!" sign over McCains head right now?
  • 9:33 PMHbn Gladstone - Obama just came off so cool.
  • 9:33 PMRoss Wolinsky - That was awesome.
  • 9:33 PMRoss Wolinsky - HE GANGSTA!
  • 9:33 PMDan O'Brien - McCain says he's proud of the people who comes to his rallies.
  • 9:33 PMDan O'Brien - It should be stated that his rally crowd just booed him last week.
  • 9:34 PMMichael Swaim - "Follow up question: DO YOU pal around with terrorists?"
  • 9:34 PMDan O'Brien - "I find not-taking-my-bullshit to be quite an admirable quality."
  • 9:34 PMMichael Swaim - "DO YOU?!"
  • 9:34 PMDan O'Brien - "You guys are the real heroes."
  • 9:34 PMHbn Gladstone - What Barack just say?
  • 9:34 PMDan O'Brien - "I didn't say those statements..."
  • 9:34 PMMichael Swaim - Wow, he spun Barack defending himself into an attack on war heroes.
  • 9:35 PMRoss Wolinsky - Gladstone - go drink a big glass of water, take some aspirin and go to bed.
  • 9:35 PMMichael Swaim - That's like when I used to hit my brother in the arm and then get him sent to his room.
  • 9:35 PMMichael Swaim - Gladstone--Fuck Ross. Drink a handle of gin, put on fingerless mittens, and hack at the keyboard wildly.
  • 9:36 PMRoss Wolinsky - Do it for Blake.
  • 9:36 PMRoss Wolinsky - Blake would want it this way.
  • 9:36 PMMichael Swaim - The Blakehouse.
  • 9:36 PMDan O'Brien - This is a new level. The question was about Campaign Ads, and McCain didn't talk about that, (he talked about rallies). And OBAMA is addressing a NEW issue. He's avoiding an issue that itself is an evasion of an issue.
  • 9:36 PMDan O'Brien - With Sandra Bullake?
  • 9:36 PMMichael Swaim - The answer is usually four to five logical steps away from the question.
  • 9:37 PMMichael Swaim - Allow me to demonstrate: "What is two plus two?" "Ducks have bills."
  • 9:37 PMRoss Wolinsky - You know what's an excellent, filling breakfast? Blake and eggs.
  • 9:37 PMMichael Swaim - Put a suit on that and send it out on the campaign trail.
  • 9:37 PMDan O'Brien - More excellent than Blakon?
  • 9:37 PMMichael Swaim - Oops, Obama gave away his age. That's never good. You want that Tiger Beat voting block.
  • 9:38 PMRoss Wolinsky - Mike, you mean Gladstone's Facebook friends?

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