Hey.
Hey MAD.
How you doing? Why don’t you sit down, slip off those shoes of yours? Have something cold to drink, maybe snack on a few of these chips. Do you want a back rub, or something? Heating pad?
Foot massage?
You’ve been having kind of a rough time, lately, haven’t you? We feel your pain, really, we do (well, not really; things are actually pretty great over here. But you know what we mean).
I wanted to write sooner, really I did. Back in November, your TV show, (that, evidently, wasn’t already canceled), was canceled. That must’ve been tough. Even though it didn’t have much to do with your brand, it had your name on it, so that must have hurt a little bit. I wanted to reach out to you, but I just got so busy; see, we were installing hot tubs in all of the Cracked offices at the time, which required a ton of my attention (you can’t install hot tubs within five feet of a chocolate fountain, which we’d just installed in October). They’re kind of tacky, I know, but we had some extra cash so why not, right?
But we’re talking about you here, buddy.
So first the show got canceled and now it turns out, as of last week, several staff members were let go and your magazine was reduced to a quarterly printing. I couldn’t believe it. I’m sitting there at my desk just thinking, Gosh, that must hurt. That’s got to be poison for a magazine that wants to maintain any semblance of edginess.
I started thinking about what it would be like if we were restricted to four updates a year. I mean, how can you stay topical and relevant with so much time in between issues? That’s when I started getting really depressed, so then I turned the bubbles on and I started feeling a little better (I know, they built a desk onto the side of my jacuzzi. SO AWESOME, right?).
I know what you’re saying: Dan, Cracked.com updates everyday. You’ll never be as completely and utterly screwed as us here at MAD. Well, quite frankly, it’s a minor miracle that we get any posts up. See, there are all these women who camp outside the Cracked offices trying to get us to have sex with them. While we’re trying to get to work. I know, can you believe it? Everyday, more women who want “a hit off the Cracked pipe,” so to speak (talkin’ about wieners, here).
“Your obsession with pop culture makes me want to take my pants off.”
We tell them to back off once in a while, but they won’t be reasoned with. I mean, it’s tough enough updating our site every day, so what, are we supposed to update their vaginas every day, too? With dick?
But this is about you.
And I’m sorry again, about all your recent setbacks. And sorry it’s taken me a week to reach out (though, in fairness to me, we’re installing a waterslide on the roof of the building. These things take time). But, rest assured, Cracked is here for you. We used to have a magazine, remember? This is what my desk used to look like (before it was sitting on the side of a jacuzzi filled with naked, ethnically diverse women):
See? We know what it’s like to have a magazine canceled, so we’re in the same boat.
…
Okay, not really in the “same boat,” necessarily, because we’re doing extremely well. Our magazine tanking was, at most, an aggravating detail; we still had our awesome site after all. You guys, on the other hand, have nothing but the magazine. So, I guess our boats have very little in common.
Still, we’re certainly the guys to talk to if you’re looking for advice. No one knows better than we do how to bounce back from a magazine crash. Though it’s highly unlikely that you’ll ever enjoy the same kind of internet success that we enjoy–our site boasts an award-winning journalist as well as that guy who did Internet Party–you do have the potential to be a real comedy force in today’s world, just like Cracked!
Though, again, and I know it must sound like I’m harping on this point, but we are not at all in the same boat. Our boat is substantially larger, a great deal faster and, if I may, considerably more sexually proficient. Your boat is a quarterly boat which, nautically speaking, is the worst kind of boat to be.
Come to think of it, we might not even be in the same ocean as your (rapidly sinking) boat. Or maybe we’re like some sort of sexy helicopter hovering above your boat, hurling garbage at you.
Yeah. That sounds more like us.
But, hey, this is about you guys, am I right?
You know what might help you bounce back? Make a humor website that… Oh, I see you’ve already got a website, so let me just check it out here.
…
Huh. I gotta say, and I mean this with all due respect, but that is honestly one of the worst websites I’ve ever seen in my life. And it’s not like you weren’t warned. Several months ago, Cracked’s most dangerous columnist, Chris Bucholz, pointed out how your little website was suspiciously devoid of any piece of actual new content, but you still didn’t update it.
Really? Really?
Look, I know you still love magazines and the Internet probably seems like a big and scary place to you, but wake up. Every website on the Internet has more content than your site. For shit’s sake, I have more fun going to Pepsi’s website and pretending I’m in a shitty dance club than I do going to your site, and you’re supposed to be entertaining. Pepsi sells soft drinks, but their website still tries to make it worth my time to stick around, because this is the future and that is how things work now. Why is your website still a boring, spiritless hunk of hot pigshit? Why wouldn’t you update it? I mean, you clearly had time, it’s not like your canceled TV show and the four issues you print a year would be taking up too much of your time.
Sorry. That was kind of in bad taste. I shouldn’t have flown off the handle. We were talking about you, and why you should make a website…
But, come to think of it, maybe you shouldn’t. Ordinarily, that would be a good idea, but, gosh, the humor magazine-turned-website slot seems to be filled right now, thanks to some whirling comedy behemoth with a can-do spirit and an excess of testosterone. We’ve sort of cornered that market already. Well, cornered isn’t right. Conquered.
We conquered it.
So, maybe avoid making a new website. The last thing you need is another embarrassing failure under your belt. And since you can’t really work on TV or the Internet or print, then that leaves…uh. Huh. Smoke signals? You could do comedy smoke signals, I don’t think anyone else is doing that right now. That market’s all yours…
Hey, do you guys need some money, or something? I feel awful, because I just have so much money and you guys… Seriously, do you want, like gas money, or a hot meal or something? Jesus. I wanted to cheer you up and instead I reminded you what a pale imitation of your former self you are. Gosh, I feel like such a horse’s ass. (Oh, Horse, that reminds me: I’m buying horses for all the interns. Because that’s where we’re at. Cracked has horse money.) I really should just stop talking before I make this worse.
Oh, but one more real quick thing. As different as we are–in terms of success, our adaptability with regards to the shifting trends in media, our superior sexual behavior–we do have one similarity. According to legend, longtime MAD editor, William Gaines, reportedly kept a voodoo doll in his office, in which he would stick pins, all labeled as various MAD “imitators” (Cracked, Sick, The New York Times), and he would remove a pin whenever one of these imitators would stop publishing or disappear. At the time of Gaines’ death, there was only one pin left, and it was labeled “Cracked.”
See, here at the office, we have a couple of dolls, too. One doll, “Crackey,” represents CRACKED. The other, “Wifey,” represents the collective wives and girlfriends of members on the MAD Staff.
Guess what the Crackey Doll is doing right up the Wifey Doll’s butt? Come on, guess.
Come on.
This entry was posted on Friday, January 30th, 2009 at 8:00 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
October 28th, 2009 at 5:08 am
Smuggest bullshit I have read in a long time.
October 20th, 2009 at 1:27 am
Yeah! Stop pissing on my stunted sense of humor! I LIKE having low expectations!
You mean men are bwoosing my feewings!
October 12th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
I really don’t understand why people who don’t like Cracked bother to come here and read these articles and then complain about how much time they’ve wasted here/how much better they could do at writing/how poorly Cracked’s staff is doing at writing/how unfunny these articles were.
Stop reading them, then. And go move on with your life. Do something productive, enjoyable, but just go do something ELSE. Really, if this isn’t worth your time, then stop coming back. Just go. Forget it, leave, and stop bumming out everyone who really DOES enjoy this website.
Just a suggestion.
October 7th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
dude:
this article is just humor mixed with spite, nothing more, nothing less
You’re very close. It’s more spite, but less humor.
October 5th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
geez, people get a grip, this article is just humor mixed with spite, nothing more, nothing less. it’s a pinch of salt kind of thing. But to those who wish to carry on their pursuit of proving the rest of us wrong, please continue on with what you’re doing.
September 27th, 2009 at 7:18 pm
I like both Mad and Cracked. I went to a little coffee shop down in Virginia with my husband last December and was surprised to see a couple of Mad magazines on the table. We had fun leafing through them.
September 27th, 2009 at 8:55 am
All the Cracked fanboys are so dead-on. There’s no comedy more cutting edge and zeitgeisty in 2009 than five thousand references to testicles, “Back to the Future”, anal rape, Wikipedia, Chewbacca, and blowjobs. All numbered in list form, and written in the same “faux brash” style that Maddox wore out before the turn of the century.
Hey, you get what you pay for.
September 19th, 2009 at 10:57 pm
hahaha. Cracked truley is a whirling comedy behemoth with a can-do spirit and an excess of testosterone. Congrates, Cracked.
September 19th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Also, you have to feel bad for the MAD fans (See:Interns, 10-year olds) who are clinging desperately to the past.
September 19th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
It seems impractical, that labeling pins business.
September 18th, 2009 at 10:32 am
i prefer mad anyday
September 16th, 2009 at 1:14 am
Whatevs. Fuck BOTH of your magazines. I rule all.
September 7th, 2009 at 8:18 am
I get it. HA - the hottubs, chocolate fountains, girls lining up outside….is that hyperbole?
Mad had better writers and artists. Cracked was conceived as a knock off and struggled to compete by luring Mad’s talent away from the magazine.
The irony is this wasn’t even funny. Not even trying to sympathize with Mad here, but reading this just wasted 4 minutes of my time. (hint for next time: “What? Me, worry?’ There has to be something there.)
The thing is it sounds like you’re trying to avenge some wrong that you feel Mad Magazine has committed, while grandstanding Crack’s “intuitive” decision to leave print magazine.
Here, you can add this part to your article,
Mad Magazine! We tried to warn you! There’s no future in print! And the whole time, as the Cracked team graciously retired our print copies (entirely of our own accord) to move to the wiser digital approach, we kept calling, “Mad! Don’t do this!”
Or….you can word it as…”The new Cracked had hoped to position itself as a publication that covers the world of comedy, as well as providing its own comedic content. The debut cover featured a photoshop manipulated image of actor Tom Cruise as the title character from the hit comedy film The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
(WHAT? How is that funny?)
However, after just three poor-selling issues, the failing magazine was canceled in February 2007.[ Citing distribution problems for its demise, editor Jay Pinkerton claimed that the remaining staff would be focusing its energies toward the Cracked website….
And hey, listen, there’s some funny stuff here. But as this train wreck points out, they can’t all be winners. And sadly, the print issue of Cracked never was one.
August 30th, 2009 at 11:09 am
[...] Cracked.com consoles Mad Magazine over having to switch to quarterly format and let a few staffers go. Full articleFeedback [...]
August 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 pm
Found this:
Fractured Funny Bone
By Peter Carlson
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Amid much honking and squealing from the Great American Hype Machine, two magazines debuted this month — Cracked and Hallmark — and if anybody in America ends up subscribing to both of them, I’d like to meet that person.
No. Strike that. On second thought, I do not want to meet that person.
Cracked, to be published every other month, is not technically a new magazine. It’s a resurrected and revised version of the formerly deceased humor magazine widely known as the poor man’s version of Mad. Hallmark, also a bimonthly, is a new mag from the folks who give us all those heartwarming greeting cards and TV specials. Let’s look at them one at a time:
Born in 1958, Cracked was nearly pulseless when Monty Sarhan bought it in 2005. Sarhan promptly killed the magazine, then hired a team to re-create it with himself as CEO and editor in chief.
Who is Sarhan? He’s a lawyer specializing in “mergers and acquisitions, venture capital and transactional intellectual property,” according to Cracked’s news release, and he earned his law degree at Duke University, where he “spent a semester studying asset secularization of entertainment-related revenue streams.”
Which is, no doubt, the perfect preparation for editing the new, postmodern humor magazine.
“Comedy magazines are often born from times of crisis — war, corruption, economic and political travails, social upheaval and questioning,” Sarhan writes in Cracked’s first issue. “Comedy and humor emerge to provide social commentary and clarity in the face of cultural and political challenges.”
Gee, isn’t he a high-minded fellow? And what kind of “social commentary and clarity” does Cracked provide in the face of our cultural and political challenges?
Well, there’s a feature called “Vehicular Homicide Is the New Black,” which notes that Laura Bush, Matthew Broderick and Vince Neil have all been involved in fatal car crashes. And there’s a list of “Things Ann Coulter Screams During Sex.” And there’s the “[Nasty word] Hall of Fame,” a compendium of celebrities, including Tom Cruise, David Hasselhoff and Bono, whom Cracked finds obnoxious.
And there’s a little ditty called “Mexican Boys: Surprisingly Expensive,” in which writer Jay Pinkerton recounts his unsuccessful (and, I hope, fictitious) attempts to purchase little Mexican lads from their parents for 300 pesos.
Are you chuckling yet? Me neither.
On page 57, Cracked stops providing this scintillating comedy and becomes a magazine about comedy. There are interviews with the creators of “South Park” and with comedians Rob Corddry and Ed Helms of “The Daily Show.”
And there’s a guide to the five worst comedy movies ever made. “Bad comedies,” writes Michael J. Nelson, “are worse than anything else in the whole of human history.”
Reading Cracked, you understand exactly what he means.
August 12th, 2009 at 9:30 am
[...] the things you remember your whole dang life. And in searching around for that cover image, I found this, which I had missed when it was originally [...]
July 24th, 2009 at 12:37 am
I have to say it….
http://leasticoulddo.com/comic/20090420
Works so well with this.
July 18th, 2009 at 8:24 am
AHHAHAH awesome!
I love how you guys just fucked with MAD!
Amazing!
the year 2000 is the year of cracked!!
LONG LIVE CRACKED!
July 13th, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Leave Mad alone!!!!
June 24th, 2009 at 2:29 am
As soon as I went to mad i saw an UrbanRivals and click. That’s how boring it was
June 19th, 2009 at 8:30 am
I just feel plain sad about the people sympathizing with MAD. They must some sort of serious mental issues, the poor dears
June 18th, 2009 at 9:09 am
in every way, cracked is superior to MAD..mad is mindless drivel. i can’t even imagine the kind of humor a guy must have to prefer MAD.
June 18th, 2009 at 7:18 am
It’s not possible to comprehend the mind of someone who, purely on aesthetic grounds, could have preferred Cracked to Mad. All we can do is pray for these people.
Wait, did I say pray? I meant laugh uproariously at them, and then key the paint trim off their Big Wheels.
June 10th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
What Tom Richmond typed below was true. I like Cracked.com, but to say that Cracked was better than MAD is just pure fanboyism. BLIND FANBOYISM.
June 9th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Cracked >>>>> MAD.
Always has been, always will be.
June 2nd, 2009 at 11:10 am
These comments are better than the article.
Get a grip people. If MAD wanted to be successful they would have realized that print is dying. Newspapers are going bankrupt, magazine sales are at an all time low and the internet is thriving.
Why waste my money buying a magazine that I can read online for free? MAD is stuck in the past and that is what this is about.
p.s. MAD was terrible from the beginning. TV or magazine, both were retarded
June 2nd, 2009 at 4:47 am
Mad’s less profitable than it used to be. And the reason is because somebody else has a website. Yeah, THAT makes total sense.
Based on that premise, the existence of http://www.Cracked.com is also killing Newsweek, Playboy, the New York Times, Rolling Stone, O The Oprah Magazine, and TV Guide.
May 26th, 2009 at 11:02 am
Smeggums,
I meant relevant in a far more pedestrian way. As in, Cracked is on the internet. Did I come across as wearing a black turtleneck and lamenting for the next Lenny Bruce?
But since you’re interested in Relevance with a capital r, please link me some zeitgeist-defining material.
May 13th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Jim:
“Lets face it, Cracked has been far more relevant than Mad for years. Everyone knows this.”
Nice to see that Cracked.com is being beamed to at least one reader in another dimension where earthly concepts do not apply. Trading links to for-pay websites = relevance? On topics like “other people’s slang sure has funny words” and “Wolverine’s claws would be inconvenient in real life”? Well, if Jim’s happy with such zeitgeist-defining material, then we’re all happy.
“But given you batting average when it come to laughs per paragraph, don’t take writing advice from me.”
Another shrewd call. Anybody who appreciates a second joke knows that Dan O’Brien sorely needs some comedy steroids.
May 12th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Okay, I’m not going to pretend this wasn’t written in an amusing way. But come on. Cracked.com is the remnant of Cracked magazine, which was a second-rate Mad Magazine wannabe to begin with. It was never as funny or original, and it was a blatant rip-off of Mad in every single way - even down to the name. Both were meant to be loopy - the original’s writers were all mad and the wannabe’s writers were all cracked. You should be paying homage to your idols, as Letterman, Leno, O’Brien and all the others do to Johnny Carson, but instead you pretend that the entire inspiration for your existance was a rival on even footing with you. This is like a spoilt brat turning on its parents - everything about Cracked evolved from Mad - the style of humour, the method of delivery - every comedy formula is a modification of a Mad formula. You’re acting like General Motors if Ford went bankrupt. Instead it’s more like if the Monkees were gloating that the Beatles could no longer sell out Wembley Stadium because nobody wanted live music anymore, and that the Monkees’ crappy TV show was still on the air, even if it was out-done by The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family. Cracked failed entirely as a magazine years ago - and demand has meant a reduce in sales for Mad but it still exists. This website is an entirely different medium. Cracked seems to consider Mad as an adversary - the reality is they were the inspiration for Cracked’s entire existence. Mad would never, and SHOULD never consider Cracked a worthy opponent - how could they consider what is little more than a weak imitator getting on their bandwagon a worthy adversary? It is a disgrace that you would show such insolence and ingratitude to the publication that opened the stage for your inferior wannabe rag - but I suppose your lifelong idol Alfred E Neuman probably would laugh it off and say “What, me worry?”
May 5th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Normally a fan of DOB but without irony sore winners aren’t funny. Lets face it, Cracked has been far more relevant than Mad for years. Everyone knows this. I’m not sure what you were going for beyond kickin’ a guy when he is down. It at least would have been funnier if you created some imaginary cowardice that prevented you from taking jabs at MAD when they were giants.
But given you batting average when it come to laughs per paragraph, don’t take writing advice from me.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:24 am
I wish I knew where the office was. I would come daily just to beg entrance so I could sit in a hottub with Daniel O’Brien.
April 19th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Funny stuff. Always liked Cracked & Mad magazines. I’m happy to see that Cracked is around in some form, as it was my favorite of the two. Although I wish they would start printing some of the old Cracked magazine movie parodies. Some of the old movie monster parodies. Put Sylvester on the site somewhere. Let’s make this site Cracked, rather than just top 6 lists (and if you’re going to make lists, let’s try to get to 10. Okay?)
April 9th, 2009 at 1:42 am
I got a kick out of a blog post last week at Cracked.com entitled “Cracked Officially Starts Feeling Sorry for MAD“, which is a lot of pointless posturing about how smart Cracked was to turn into a website and how they are now much more successful than MAD, which is now going quarterly… blah, blah, blah. That’s hilarious because in order to become successful on the web, Cracked had to stop being Cracked and become something else. There is zero illustration or cartooning on Cracked.com… no art whatsoever. Its a totally different thing now, and if the author’s idea is to somehow claim Cracked finally beat MAD, that’s like having an Italian restaurant that was always in second place next to the better Italian place down the block crow about finally having bigger crowds… and all it took was to switch to being a Chinese restaurant. If you don’t like Chinese food, who cares?
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Cracked.com. They do mostly “funny lists” where they list the top 7 ways to tenderize your meat or some such, which is ordinarily lazy humor writing but they do it with a lot of sharp wit and good observation about the subjects they are “listing”, and their lists are often quite funny (although they resort to a lot of profanity, which is more lazy writing). It’s pretty incomprehensible to see them pretend they finally beat MAD at their own game, when they failed miserably as a magazine TWICE, once as a MAD copycat and once as a bad Maxim wannabe before settling in on the web. More power to them on the web, but let’s not compare apples to oranges. Cracked is dead, and this website that has the Cracked logo on it has zero relationship to what Cracked once was. Its a different animal with the same name.
April 8th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
MADs 500th issue is out soon!
Didn’t CRACKED get cancelled and the relaunch pushed back and all sorts? And then cancelled again?
April 2nd, 2009 at 6:28 pm
This was funny as hell….
April 1st, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Funny, I don’t remember reading old issues of Cracked as a kid.
April 1st, 2009 at 7:30 am
Can we please get a medical update on The Dread Pirate’s desperately sick child?
To think that he might have been whipped like the neighborhood bitch on a message board, and then lose a son or daughter, ALL IN THE SAME DAY… it’s just heartbreaking. Sob!
March 29th, 2009 at 7:55 am
This was pretty funny. DOB, I’m starting to become a fan.
March 25th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
So … ummm … where’s the Cracked TV show?
March 24th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Wow, talk about immature.
Sounds like a jelious girl from high school wrote this.
March 18th, 2009 at 1:25 am
Unbelievably unfunny. Mad Magazine has sucked for decades, but Cracked is consistently unfunny and has been from the beginning. At least Mad had a golden age of good stuff.
March 1st, 2009 at 1:17 pm
The only thing MAD had going for them was Stuart (I assume retarded). That was incredibly bland too.
February 23rd, 2009 at 8:28 pm
did obrien get turned down by mad for a job or something? did one of mad’s writers bone his girlfriend? whats the reason for the repetitive references to the ‘large amounts’ of money cracked has? aaron kulkis is a dumbass.
February 22nd, 2009 at 10:01 am
“Ron Swanson Says:
January 30th, 2009 at 11:31 am
DOB is Irish… He is bound to get drunk and fuck it up at some point…. They always do.. I mean how the fuck do you fuck up growing a potato for christ sakes….”
Just looked through the comments and found this.
I hope I’m not the only one opposed to such gross Irish-bashing?
February 16th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
This Cracked.com article was so close to succeeding. All it needed was a 28th “we’re rich, bitch!” reference. Alas, Dan O’Brien wrote the exact same joke only 27 times in a row. And that just isn’t going to cut the mustard.
February 15th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Oh, nice! MAD has a website? Thanks for the link!
February 14th, 2009 at 12:49 am
This article makes no sense whatsoever. MAD went from monthly to quarterly, Cracked went from monthly to, well, NEVER. Cracked never even HAD a show named after them. Cracked has been reduced to a single website. Nice try in dragging MAD down to where cracked is, though.
February 13th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
This isnt really that funny. It just seems to mean for my taste.
February 12th, 2009 at 4:26 am
Hmm, it seems that a post of mine that was “awaiting moderation” got it in spades, because it was deleted. Presumably because it contained 2 weblinks that could’ve taken unwary Cracked.com users ANYWHERE. The reply made more sense when it came right after Aaron Kulkis’ Feb. 5 post. But here it is again, minus those pesky links:
————-
Aaron, you’re mistaken. The issue announcing Martin’s “switch” to drawing is not at your dad’s house. It’s not at anyone’s house. It doesn’t exist.
Martin drew his own cartoons in his MAD #29 debut, and never stopped drawing them. I’m not aware of a single writing-only byline for Martin, in all his years at MAD.
From Martin’s New York Times obituary: “After selling his first cartoon to Mad in 1956, Mr. Martin continued to draw for the magazine until 1987…”
[Deleted Weblink #1: NY Times' Don Martin obituary, easy to find on Google.]
Here is some of Don Martin’s artwork from MAD #30, his second-ever appearance in the magazine:
[Deleted Weblink #2: put "bookpalace.com" + "Don Martin" into Google and it'll pop right up]
There’s no need for you to squander time or inclination “sorting through” the PDF files on your MAD DVD. It’ll be quick. Start with issue #29. Find Don Martin’s artwork. Then move to #30. Look, more Don Martin artwork! Then, #31, #32, #33, #34… the succession of Martin-drawn pages continues through #252, but you can stop whenever you like.
—————-
[ADDENDUM: I have a feeling Wha? may be onto something solid with his Don Edwing theory, even though Edwing didn't get the big "at last, MAD presents his art!" buildup described below.]
February 10th, 2009 at 8:20 pm
I’ve already read this, but I had to come back to tell you! There’s an issue of Cracked in an episode of The Simpsons! It’s the episode where Bart gets the Down With Homework iron-on transfer (from MAD! That’s why I’m commenting here), and the whole school ends up having to wear school uniforms, which turn rainbow-coloured at the end. At the very start of the episode, when Bart and Milhouse are buying MAD magazine and saying, “They’re really sticking it to this Spiro Agnew guy…he must work there or something”, there is an issue of Cracked magazine next to it! That’s incredible!
You might not care yourselves, but I only know you as a website, so you can understand my amazement.
February 10th, 2009 at 5:56 pm
CRACKED & MAD??? what about CRAZY ???? come on!!
February 10th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Didn’t you guys’ magazine get canceled A DECADE ago?
Idiots.
February 9th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
I just hope The Dread Pirate’s kid is okay. How incredibly tragic that his beloved child should suddenly fall ill at THE VERY MOMENT The Dread Pirate was being whipped like a galley slave on this message board. O, unlucky timing!
February 9th, 2009 at 3:02 am
Wow… I never would have thought that in 2009, the Mad/Cracked rivarly would still be a relevant topic.
Or maybe it’s tradition or something?
February 8th, 2009 at 6:38 pm
MAD sucks in all its forms. It sucks big donkey dick.
February 8th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
Justin, MAD was funny before you were even a gleam in your daddy’s eye.
February 8th, 2009 at 9:42 am
You guys are good at lists . . . here’s one . . . “Greatest Cheap Imitations”.
#1 Greatest cheap imitation of Mad magazine: Cracked
February 8th, 2009 at 1:18 am
Love you, Cracked, but this seemed a little too spiteful. You’re moving from dickish-ly funny to mean-spirited rambling.
-Twopercent
February 6th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
That’s kinda what I was thinking when I read the blog post on myspace. Tis a sad day for the only comedy magazine to have stayed in print over 50 years.
February 6th, 2009 at 11:43 am
i think you’ve all forgotten the main reason for all off this….. boobs
February 6th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Yeah, apparently they really know their shit.
February 6th, 2009 at 8:06 am
You best not mess with the Mad fan.
February 5th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
“I have neither the time nor inclination to sort through a bunch of PDF files”
If you don’t have time to research something, then don’t spew out “facts” you don’t have the time to back up. I think you are confusing “Don Martin” with “Don “Duck” Edwing” for two reasons.
First: Edwing did begin with MAD as a writer, and in fact wrote a lot of Don Martin’s contributions in later years, and eventually started cartooning his own gags. Martin’s strength was never writing, and he ran out of ideas causing MAD to have Edwing and other’s ghost his gags uncredited for years. If Martin did do writing only for MAD, he didn’t do much.
Second: Your opinion that MAD went “downhill” after allowing Don Martin to start doing his own drawing is absurd. Martin’s cartooning was among the funniest and most distinctive, not to mention highly crafted, cartooning of the era. He influenced hundreds of cartoonists. Even if someone didn’t care for his style, nobody can say he was a poor artist. Edwing’s art was very rough and looked out of place in MAD, but Don Martin?
February 5th, 2009 at 3:42 am
Aaron, you’re mistaken. The issue announcing Martin’s “switch” to drawing is not at your dad’s house. It’s not at anyone’s house. It doesn’t exist.
Martin drew his own cartoons in his MAD #29 debut, and never stopped drawing them. I’m not aware of a single writing-only byline for Martin, in all his years at MAD.
From Martin’s New York Times obituary: “After selling his first cartoon to Mad in 1956, Mr. Martin continued to draw for the magazine until 1987…”
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B0CEFD9133BF93BA35752C0A9669C8B63
Here is some of Don Martin’s artwork from MAD #30, his second-ever appearance in the magazine:
http://www.bookpalace.com/acatalog/Home_Don_Martin_Art_90.html
There’s no need for you to squander time or inclination “sorting through” the PDF files on your MAD DVD. It can be done quickly. Start with issue #29. Find Don Martin’s artwork. Then move to #30. Look, more Don Martin artwork! Then, #31, #32, #33, #34… the succession of Martin-drawn pages continues through #252, but you can stop whenever you like.
February 5th, 2009 at 1:50 am
Overstreet.
Intereseting insight on why Gaines sold MAD.
Martin was originally a writer ONLY. I’ve read the issue which herald’s Martin’s first artwork (Don’t ask me the number… for one, it’s at my dad’s house, and I have neither the time nor inclination to sort through a bunch of PDF files).
February 4th, 2009 at 10:40 pm
It’s just you, Charles.
February 4th, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Forget Harvey/Stanley. Almost all of Aaron Kulkis’ factual claims are wrong.
William Gaines didn’t give up ownership of MAD to get access to increased military PX money, 13.5 cents at a time. MAD’s distributor, Independent News, was already the largest in the United States. Gaines sold MAD because of the tax laws of the time. The top marginal tax rate (91% in 1960) made it unprofitable and unfeasible for a private owner to hold onto the property, particularly in light of the large capital gains the sale provided.
Don Martin was an artist from the moment he started. Martin’s first MAD cartoon appeared in the summer of 1956, well over two years before Fidel Castro’s forces overthrew Cuba’s Batista government. Martin’s artwork was seen in 31 issues of MAD before Prohias’ debut.
Don Martin’s first issue: #29
Antonio Prohias’ first issue: #60
Something tells me the perceptive and knowledgeable Mr. Kulkis bent his Fold-Ins up and down, instead of sideways.
February 4th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Ummm, Is it me or is cracked limited to nothing but generic lists. Nothing original or creative, and nothing that anyone who has spent time on the internet has not already seen or heard before. Is writing considered innovative if the writer just spends his time gluing bits and pieces of the web together and calling it original?
February 4th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Ok, so I haven’t seen the name in about 20 years.
Sheesh.
February 4th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Aaron- Wow, your history of MAD is so riddled with inaccuracies and outright falsehoods I do not know where to begin. However I guess I don’t need to, because when someone professes to write a background on MAD and thinks Mad’s first editor was “Stanley” Kurtzman as opposed to “Harvey” Kurtzman, then they are either talking out of their ass or joking.
February 4th, 2009 at 7:44 am
Yes, Gaines sold the magazine in the early 60’s…but part of the sale agreement was that he would continue to have full editorial control. Gaines sold because the new owner had a much larger distribution network — significantly, it appears, into the military PX’s, as reader mail suddenly started coming in from military bases, often showed Alfred E. portraits on aircraft, etc.
And no, Don Martin was definitely NOT drawing in the early 60’s when Prohias came on board as a refugee from post-revolutionary Cuba.
February 4th, 2009 at 5:48 am
Don Martin did his own artwork from the first day his work appeared in MAD; the editors didn’t “start letting” him draw. Antonio Prohias came on board five years AFTER Martin’s debut. MAD was never “sold to DC”; both were separately acquired by the same company, several years apart. DC had precisely zero editorial control over MAD during the period you say they put the nails in MAD’s coffin. Total ownership of MAD was sold sometime during 1960-62, the same period you identify as the magazine’s golden age. Ernie Kovacs died in a car crash more than seven years before the premiere episode of “Marcus Welby, M.D.” MAD was first edited by Harvey Kurtzman, not Stanley. The always consistent “Spy vs. Spy” went through a series of different artists after Prohias retired. Until Peter Kuper took over the strip, most “Spy” episodes were written by Don Edwing, one of the old guard creators in his 50’s who’d lost it and wasn’t funny anymore (except for keeping “Spy vs. Spy” totally consistent).
Shrewd assessment, though. It’s always enlightening to hear from someone with a good eye for critical detail.
February 4th, 2009 at 3:16 am
Sad but true.
I remember the days when Cracked was a pale imitation of Mad.
Back in the 1970’s, my dad retrieved from grandma’s house a box
of MAD Magazines…#34 - #128, with barely an issue missing, and
one issue with THREE copies (each one bearing the name of either
my dad, or his two brothers… I guess they must have been in a
fight that week or something). Somewhere along the line, MAD
even had an articled called “How to create an imitation of MAD
Magazine”" or something like that — pointed directly at Cracked.
Now.. the humor of those 50’s and 60’s era issues of MAD were
very sophisticated. I recently purchased the DVD which has the
whole history of MAD in .pdf files (so much BETTER than the late
90’s compilation they had which had some truly lousy software
which was as pathetically unfunny as MAD’s current website), and
I *STILL* marvel at the cleverness in MAD’s first 10 years.
MAD’s decline however, has not been overnight. Even in the late
1970’s, I could see a significant decline in quality compared to
issues from 15 years earlier. MAD’s peak was between the time
when Prohias (Spy vs. Spy) came on board, and when they let
Don Martin start doing his own artwork.
Don’s story lines were good, but his artwork has NEVER been up to
the standards that were in place at the time Don started doing his
own drawings.
Once the artwork standards were lowered, the writing standards
started to drop, too. And by the late 1970’s, even as a junior high
student who was still enjoying the 50’s and 60’s issues was quite
disappointed by the fact that the then contemporary issues already
seemed juvenile. When a kid in 7th or 8th grade thinks that you
have too many bathroom jokes… you’re slipping.
I think the problem is, Bill Gaines never brought any new life into
the magazine. I look back in my late high school years and college
years, and I had an amazing talent to make a non-stop string of
witty observations about nearly anything that came along or was
said (quite possibly due to reading, with my younger brother, every
summer, for several years, about 10 years worth of MAD).
It seems… well… most everyone, as they get older, they just
gradually LOSE that ability to come up with dozens or more
humorous remarks, observations in a single day. By the time
MAD’s “usual gang of idiots” was in their 50’s, they had lost it –
MAD had become a cliche’ of itself. The sale to DC placed the
lid on the coffin and let the nails get hammered in. I have no
idea why DC bought MAD, because the few changes they did
make to MAD only made it even worse.
The lifeblood of MAD magazine — the true genius of the early years,
was the focus… probably 50% of each issue … on making fun of
mass communication in all of its forms:
Advertising campaigns (most of all — I recognized famous
advertising campaigns were being lampooned, even in issues
that were published YEARS before my own birth);
TV shows (and they went the otherway, too. TV comedy
pioneer…visionary, in fact, Ernie Kovacs used to be a
“guest writer” on occasion — by doing this, they really
staked out the ground between good TV shows and the
predictable shlock style which was already invading TV in
such formula-driven shows as “Marcus Welby, M.D.” and
“Perry Mason” where every plot was merely a variation
on a pre-determined theme.
The political arena, especially election campaigns — the
Nov. 1960 issue which is printed with TWO covers…one
congratulating Nixon for his win (with a tag line, “we were
with you all the way, Dick”) and if the magazing was flipped
over, the other cover congratulating Kennedy (with the
tag line, “we were with you all the way, JFK”) — taking a
swipe at the false congratulatory pose that the major media
had already fallen into after every election. (And to rub it
in even farther, each half of the issue was numbered from
page 1, and an index page at both ends….articles appearing
in the “other half” of the magazine were indicated by the
index showing the page number printed upside down!)
Such cleverness has not been seen in MAD for decades
And their first editor, Stanley Kurtzman wasn’t doing much better
as he aged — having seen a few of his “Annie Fannie” comics in
the 1980’s, Kurtzman was just as lame as his contemporaries who
had stayed at on MAD…even though I can assure you, he was totally
on top of the entire gamut of humor from subtle wit to heavy-handed
sarcasm back in the 1950’s.
I hate to say it, but MAD stopped being funny DECADES ago — and
unlike some people on here who’s earliest memories of MAD are
from the 80’s, it’s NOT that you’ve grown up, and potty humor just
isn’t funny any more…. no… the quality has deteriorated. Get your
hands on some copies of MAD printed before 1965….1970 at the
latest….and compare them with even issues from the 1980’s, let
alone today. You’ll see that the humor-level just didn’t stay up.
They only thing consistant over the last 45 years has been Spy vs. Spy.
Everything else has been in a sad decline, spiralling out of control,
like a fighter jet having an engine burn out at 40,000 feet. It stays
up a long time, but… if your engines aren’t on, then you’re falling
if you’re not a glider. And a humor magazine CAN’T be a glider –
it HAS to be a hard-edged, nimble, flying on the bare edge of
the control envelope fighting machine, capable of BOTH the subtle
and graceful as well as brute force …. or else it just isn’t humorous.
February 4th, 2009 at 12:20 am
Funny thing is, I remember Cracked being an absolutely horrible magazine. But you guys transformed yourselves into something interesting and funny, while the people at MAD just got boring.
still, all those lists don’t make up for the lack of those folding picture thingies. you know what I’m talking about.
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:53 pm
“Watching him cling to a persona nobody gives Shit One about is way funnier than Dan O’Brien’s crappy article.”
I will murder those who insult DOB!
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:21 pm
If The Dread Pirate is as good a doctor as he is a comedian, the child is already dead.
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:01 pm
Oh mercy, the Dread Pirate has played the “my real life is much too pressing for me to be one of you” card.
His kid started puking, so Dread Pirate rushed back to Cracked.com to type about it. Naturally. He’s got a situation, folks. And his lingerie model wife probably needs her sleep.
He’s “defeated his opponents.” He does the typo routine. He thinks his thoughts and jokes are way over people’s heads. Mockery only makes him stronger. In fact, it means he’s “gotten under your skin.” It’s playtime to him, but serious warfare to his critics.
Is there an obvious internet cliche he DOESN’T personify?
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:40 pm
Who wants Dread Pirate to leave? Watching him cling to a persona nobody gives Shit One about is way funnier than Dan O’Brien’s crappy article. Rattling his cage is like playing “let’s see what we can make the special needs kid eat” in lunchroom.
To Sheryce and others: O’Brien’s article isn’t too “mean.” It’s too lame. It’s too repetitious. Its style is too derivative. The set-up is thin, and the payoff is nonexistent.
The concept of mocking one’s betters isn’t at all offensive; it’s one of the fundaments of comedy. But you must be funny, or insightful. The article is neither. David tried to slay Goliath, but he threw the rock into his own foot.
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:31 pm
sorry everyone, games over, had a medical issue with one of my kids, so I don’t have time now.
Take care, it was fun, will have to do it again.
Dread
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Look, to all of of you complaining about how mean this article is, why don’t you go complain on Mad’s website?
Oh yeah, it blows.
Ha.
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:08 pm
But please, make any responses you might have intelligent, witty, meaningful, and don’t be afraid to inject a little humor.
Otherwise I may not read them.
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Also, since this area has now been given to me, I will allow any of you to post a response. After all, we are not savages here.
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:58 pm
Well, if you don’t want this to be about me anymore, then stop talking about me. See, it’s really a simple solution. I never started out with the intention of becoming the center of your universe. I simply posted my thoughts and for some reason, people felt I wasn’t allowed to, so they decided to try in a vain attempt to insult me personally.
Well, it’s obvious that instead, I have managed to get under your skins. Which also means that you have lost.
So if you are finding this challenge to be more than you are used to, by all means, go back to the pokemon sites you came from where at least you will be dealing with other people of the age and maturity levels that you are currently at. Otherwise, be my guest and keep beating your heads against the wall.
If you want me to go away, ignore me. I manage to ignore you until you call me, try to do the same for me.
And thrive, let me thank you lbh’s behalf for coming to his assistance. I could see that he needed it.
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:45 pm
And just to spoil Pirate’s one outlet of fun here, “as they fucking up their” should be “as they fuck up their.”
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:41 pm
He probably meant “douche,” as in “an online schmuck who taunts people for spelling or grammar mistakes even as they fucking up their own posts.” Maybe LBH should have to do some, as The Dread Pirate puts it, “pennance.”
Honestly, what a cliched internet embarrassment you are. It’s a good thing you’re using a “psuedoname.”
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Wow lbh, all I asked was “What is a Deuche?”. I didn’t mean to get under your skin.
If you’re going to attempt to hurl an insult at someone, the best way to make sure it lands it to spell it correctly.
And you still haven’t told me exactly what a “Deuche” is? And if it is a typo, why don’t you tell me what word you are trying to spell, and I would be more than happy to assist you.
Otherwise, I would have to call that one a big fat miss.
But please, feel free to try again.
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Oh that’s right…Sorry D.P., I forgot. This comment section is all about you. What was I thinking?
‘The Dread Pirate Says: What is a “Deuche”?’
“Deuche” is a typo.
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:49 pm
didnt you get pulled of the stands TWICE!
ya ur sooooo sucsessfull……… idiots
3 issues!
you only had 3 issues ur second time!
P.s: you guys suck! ur website isnt funny!
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:49 pm
What is a “Deuche”?
I’m just asking, that’s all, just curious.
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:15 pm
You know what this message section needs? Even more fanboys “explaining” that this is a comedy site. That hasn’t gotten enough attention.
Bottom line: O’Brien’s column was feeble. The fact that it’s on a comedy site (or as some responders put it, a COMEDY SITE) doesn’t make the column any funnier.
Go take the column and post it on NASA’s website. It won’t magically make O’Brien’s column scientific.
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:06 am
[...] Mad artist fires back at a recent assault by a writer for the magazine’s longtime rival, now a humor site. Plus: a short history of [...]
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:56 am
Wow DOB your obssssion with pop culture DOES make want to take my pants off…..if I were wearing pants……
February 3rd, 2009 at 9:11 am
I say that if we aren’t going to make the comment section about Mad Magazine or DOB’s article, then we should make it about Glendoor. He’s well liked, respected and most importantly…FUNNY.
* I’m guessing Dread Pirate is new here and doesn’t yet realize the needle on the Deuche-O-Meter spiked when he/she tried to drag Glendoor into his/her self-absorbed flame war.
So…
Hey there Glendoor. How’s the family. Well I hope. Now I just know you were a fan of Mad as a kid. I just know it. Because if you didn’t ,then I have to reassess my whole outlook on the universe.
Tell me, did you wait until you read the entire magazine cover-to-cover before folding the page in three for the hidded picture?
February 3rd, 2009 at 7:04 am
Actually, John Hefner, ‘The Simpsons’ has referred to Cracked magazine, too - I believe in ‘Seperate Vocations’ when they go into the room full of confiscated stuff Principle Skinner gives a list like “issues of Mad, Cracked…” and a few others. So, in conclusion, POW!
By the way, I very much doubt that Maddox was the first person to do the pseudo-arrogance-everyone-else-is-a-dick thing and, even if he was, DOB does it in a different and, in my opinion, superior style. If you’re the kind of person who takes satirical blogs seriously, I suspect that you may be on the wrong site…
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:40 am
Yeah, everybody! Stop being mean to the self-appointed imitation of the Best Page in the Universe copycat! You’re ruining his Cracked audition!
February 3rd, 2009 at 3:23 am
Everyone defending MAD/insulting DOB, shut the fuck up. DOB made a completely civil, explanatory comment for you twits who don’t understand the humour of the article. Get off your high horse and realize that things published on a COMEDY SITE just might not be written in all seriousness, yeah?
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:49 am
soooo, I see you as not so much a huge fan, but more like a neophyte who lamely attempts to overcome his master, realizes his error and ends up spending the day in pennance.
Nice try though, I think I will give it a………………..2.
Better luck next time.
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:44 am
Ahhhh, another convert to the Cult of The Dread Pirate. Come in, please.
Personal belongings go in my room, please take a robe from the closet and remember, no eye contact with The Dread Pirate. This rule is very important, to me that is.
Now, I’m feeling a bit peckish, how about you scurry off to the kitchen and fix me a snack. That’s a good follower.
I think he will make a good drone. To bad all he can say is “Rrrrrrr”
Oh well, we can’t all be blessed with awesomeness. Some of us are just destined to be worker bees.
February 3rd, 2009 at 2:12 am
“This is my 12th post by me, about me, saying IT’S NOT ABOUT ME!”
“You’re not kicking my ass, you’re KISSING it!”
“When people treat me like a fatuous asshat, it makes me THRIVE!”
“Eating this much abuse means I’m AWESOME!”
The poster who described The Dread Pirate’s lone style of attempted comedy as “Something something…. NOT!” called it. (I just wonder what kind of inspired, unpredictable response he’ll have to this post! Two bucks says it turns out I’m actually a huge fan!)
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:49 am
Quick update, I’ve already received many emails from some of you begging me to have mercy on you (don’t worry glendoor, I said I would keep your emails on the QT, and I did) and allow you to bow out quietly.
I have given it much thought, and I have decided that those of you with no stomach for what is about to come may now get up and leave the room.
But remember, you must keep your heads bowed in shame at all times. Sorry, it’s a Dread Pirate rule, so I really can’t go easy on you about this even if I wanted to. (for the record though, I don’t)
But if this makes you feel any better about losing, just remember this little bit of uplifting advice:
Remember: The Dread Pirate Is Awesome!
(wow, that is so zen)
February 3rd, 2009 at 1:05 am
So I tried to bring the comments back to focus on the article, but all everyone wants to really focus on is ME!
I understand completely. I bring that missing piece into your otherwise boring existences. I bring ME.
Like I said, I thrive on negative attention. Even if it requires having to suffer through everyones lame attempts to attack me. I love it. I’m better at all of you at, but I love it just the same.
So, lets talk about me. Kicking new holes in my ass? No G.H, just the fact that you felt the need to mention me (and how could you not) in your post just explains the wet feeling I currently have on said ass. (btw, thanks for the kisses, my ass appreciates your undivided attention)
And glendoor, I know I’m the most important thing on your mind, as I should be, because you went from an basically pointless comment about this article, to a very articulate comment about how awesome my posts are. (see, I can read between the lines, but next time don’t be so coy with my, just come right out and tell me how awesome I am. I never get tired of hearing the masses tell me that)
So lets stop playing games here and just let nature take it’s course. From now on, I should be the main topic of all postings. And not just here, but on every article on Cracked. Don’t try fighting the inevitable, you just won’t win, you’ll tire yourself out, and in the end, it will still be all about ME!
Oh, and since you are counting, this would be post number 12.
P.S.- I will soon be choosing which one of you gets the honor of washing my laundry. So stay sharp, it could be you.
February 2nd, 2009 at 11:24 pm
” The Dread Pirate Says:
February 2nd, 2009 at 6:39 am
How did this thread go from being about this article to just being about me? ”
I don’t know there, Dread Pirate, but if I had to guess, I’d say somewhere about the ninth or tenth time out of the twelve or fifteen times you commented in this thread.
That’s what I think, but you know, it could just be me.
February 2nd, 2009 at 8:28 pm
O’Brien’s entire column is one joke. And it’s a joke we’ve already seen 50,000 times before: the extravagance of make-believe boasting = supposedly endless amusement. I’m a winner because I say so!
But if Maddox’s shtick has run dry, what’s left in the watering hole for a repetitive Maddox imitator?
As for the low-standard crowd and their “‘horse money’ is fuckin’ A+ killer, and not thinking so proves you’re a humorless loser” tautology, stop embarrassing yourselves. You can find the same kind of deep thinking on Celine Dion fanboards.
Actually, the funniest thing here has been the commenters kicking new holes in Dread Pirate’s ass. O’Brien’s snoozy, flamboyant-by-the-numbers slap at Mad Magazine can’t hope to compete.
February 2nd, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Uh huh.
CRACKED ‘feels sorry’ for MAD, mentions the ‘failed’ MAD TV show.
Compared to what?
The NONE EXISTANT CRACKED TV show?
Jesus, what a bunch of dillusional JACKASSES over at CRACKED…MAD was here first, MAD did it ALL first…CRACKED is, was and always WILL BE a second rate MAD.
Seriously, O’Brian…just deal with it.
Yeesh.
K
February 2nd, 2009 at 6:15 pm
First!!
February 2nd, 2009 at 12:07 pm
[...] [Snark] Cracked on Mad Link: Dan O’Brien [...]
February 2nd, 2009 at 10:19 am
Well, I thought it was funny. Kicking people when they’re down is always entertaining.
“this is the future and that is how things work now”, it’s like explaining the internet to your great grandmother
February 2nd, 2009 at 7:46 am
Dammit. I like MAD. Why the hell would they cut back? Obama just became president! There’s all sorts of wacky hijinks they could do!
February 2nd, 2009 at 6:39 am
How did this thread go from being about this article to just being about me?
I’m going to try to get this back on track.
“nice article, very funny, especially the part about having so much money that it has a name -horse money-. Also, very nice boat. I hope it not a requirement that we avert our eyes from it, because I already stared at quite a bit. And I think there was a pic of a woman, but I don’t remember, didn’t see much after the boat”
“just kidding, spent most of my time staring at the babe”
February 2nd, 2009 at 5:10 am
Wow. Here’s another vocabulary word that might come in handy for you: credulous.
Signed,
the original and authentic lol_alf, Abraham Lincoln, Robin Hood, and the Green Lantern
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:52 am
Yes, I did do that. In fact, I believe it was you.
pseudonym
There, if you fix it within 1 hour of the original post, it counts.
Your hour is up.
(Have you been lurking all this time just waiting for me to slip up?)
And thank you for acknowledging that I am the funniest person on the internet. I was shooting for “funniest person posting in the comment section of this article”, but you sir have elevated me to the top. “Funniest Person On The Internet” I like the sound of that. Again, allow me to thank you.
Thank you!
You are dismissed.
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:28 am
A guy who chastised a poster only yesterday for not putting the dots in “i.e.” might want to be a little more careful with the moronspeak. i.e., “psuedoname.” Holy mackerel, “psuedoname”? As the funniest person on the internet once wrote, “How does it feel to be slapped down and corrected?”
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:06 am
You know, Vizzini wouldn’t be MY first choice for a psuedoname. I don’t believe he made it to the end of the movie.
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:04 am
I thrive on negative attention, especially when it is witty, intelligent and shows a slightly humorous angle.
At least you guys have the negative part down.
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:02 am
Are we entirely sure that The Dread Pirate isn’t really Dan O’Brien? He might be typing this shit just to make his original article seem less terrible.
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:01 am
You missed, try harder!
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:00 am
[i] Obviously, the three posts under this one are reason enough as to why I’m forced to tag my posts as “humor” [/i]
The only tag The Dread Pirate’s comedy needs is a toe tag.
February 2nd, 2009 at 3:37 am
Costello: “Does your first baseman have a name?”
Dread Abbott: “Who!”
Costello: “The first baseman.”
Dread Abbott: “Who! It’s a made-up joke name, in case you don’t realize. Cough, satire, cough.”
Costello: “What is the name of your first baseman?”
Dread Abbott: “His real name is Edward, I was using HUMOR for his nickname. Sigh.”
February 2nd, 2009 at 3:32 am
Obviously, the three posts under this one are reason enough as to why I’m forced to tag my posts as “humor”
February 2nd, 2009 at 3:13 am
Pirate, if you have to announce every time you think you’ve just made a joke, you haven’t.
I’ve read your last few comments. The world has one more humorless idiot in it than you realize.
February 2nd, 2009 at 3:08 am
Dread Pirate, do please continue to explain your jokes
February 2nd, 2009 at 1:36 am
are you mad?
February 2nd, 2009 at 12:24 am
HOLD ON, There are helicopters too? I missed that. Cool.
(that was the only part of your ramble that I understood. But thanks for the heads up on the helicopters)
3h club. I wish I could be that witty.
And what’s the deal with comparing Aretha Franklin to a Disney movie?
I loved Fantasia.
(that would be humor, in case you missed my point, which I’m sure you did)
February 1st, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Dear Dread Pirate,
Out of the almost 300 responses so far, we have:
*Responses taking the 3H Club claims (horses, hot tubs and helicopters) dead seriously: 0
*Responses that didn’t realize the column was supposed to be humorous: 0
*Responses saying that, despite its intent, the article wasn’t humorous at all: numerous
*Responses demonstrating the failure to understand that the concept of “satire” is not a synonym for “ha ha, blow jobs!”: several
*Responses noting that O’Brien’s fundamental premise was like Fantasia bashing Aretha Franklin: quite a few
*Responses insisting that variations on “something something… NOT!” are the kind of comedy that only IDIOTS fail to appreciate: just yours.
February 1st, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Mad was always funny when I was growing up in the 90’s, I haven’t read it in years but it was always entertaining then. I didn’t read Cracked nearly as much because it wasn’t available in most stores I went to, although I thought it was on par, or better than mad. I’m unemployed right now and it’s because the print industry is dying - because of the internet. Mad must transition to the internet just as cracked had to, although because cracked wasn’t as popular in print, and died earlier - it has a massive head start.
February 1st, 2009 at 6:55 pm
I heard that he’s learning the secrets from Master N00bpwner.
February 1st, 2009 at 3:27 pm
@lbh-
Ross told me to tell you folks that he’s taking a hiatus for an undetermined amount of time while he climbs to the top of Mount Everest to learn the secrets of blogging.
February 1st, 2009 at 3:16 pm
What happened to Wolinsky? Is he coming back?
I’m going to post this comment on every new blog entry until I get a satisfactory answer.
February 1st, 2009 at 3:11 pm
[...] out Cracked’s open letter to Mad, giving the troubled publication a little friendly advice on how to get with the times. And [...]
February 1st, 2009 at 12:30 pm
I realize that the article is very tongue in cheek concerning the great Cracked vs. Mad rivalry that has existed for the past 1,000 years, (bet none of you knew it has been that long?), but, and this is a BIG but, please tell me he was being serious about the hot tubs, the hot women, the hot….uh.. horses (I was trying to follow a theme here, but obviously it took a wrong turn, not that there is anything wrong with hot horses).
I mean, if the hot tubs, hot women and hot horses are not really real, then what is real? Just please, tell me there are hot women, horses and tubs at the cracked.com offices. You don’t understand, I’m married, I need to feel that there is a pot of gold on the other side of that rainbow and that the grass is greener, at least in one office on this whole earth.
(for those of you that don’t understand, I’m being humorous about being married and unhappy. I’m very happily married. So please for god’s sake, if you are going to flame me, flame me for not being funny. If you take what I wrote as being factual, then, how can I put this in a way that you would understand…….oh yeah…..YOU’RE AN IDIOT, AND CHANCES ARE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ONE!)
February 1st, 2009 at 10:56 am
48 hours later, some assclown still come here and talk about ” dont make fun of mad, they’re cool, i love them, you never did….”
ok… this was not intended to make fun of mad, like DOB explained in his post, the joke in itself is that there is NO rivalry…
it was absurd humour, like a lot of dan article. You guys really dont get it… They could have make this joke just about everything… cracked versus refregerator…. but some asshole could come here and say ” hey cracked, you too use freezer ! you dont have right to make fun of it! shame on you!…
give them a break
February 1st, 2009 at 7:40 am
Yeah, see how funny you are when Time-Warnet or whoever buys YOUR ass. It was a miracle that Mad even lasted this long with Warner dick in it’s eye. How long could Cracked still be funny once it had corporate masters to please…
I myself gaave up on Mad once they broke their embargo on ads. That was the end.
February 1st, 2009 at 7:02 am
This was actually kind of funny but…I don’t know the right word, but it seems a little weird for a website that was born out of a magazine that failed not once but twice would be making fun of a magazine that is still running, and has had a tv show on the actual tv, which cracked has never had
February 1st, 2009 at 6:11 am
PLEASE TO GOD!! If you are going to make a post (especially if its a post bagging the article)…
READ THE FUCKING PREVIOUS POSTS…
I am simply amassed at the amount of douche fucks that come here and think they are all high and mighty and have some enlightened understanding of what is ‘funny’…
so you don’t think its funny…who gives a shit…who are you? what have you accomplished with your piss poor excuse for a life that makes your opinion worth a shit?
and reading the posts just reinforced that a majority of internet users are below the age of 13… sad…
thanks for another great article DOB
February 1st, 2009 at 5:59 am
It’s a joke you fucknuts….I think.
February 1st, 2009 at 3:31 am
Where did you get that little Joker doll on the desk? Is it bobble-headed? Or buyable? For one thing it’s the most memorable part of this article.
(which I enjoyed, but can’t compete with a little plastic figurine in the corner of a picture)
February 1st, 2009 at 2:43 am
“So, watch out for my next article: The Top 10 Titwang Boobdongs. No pesky reading comprehension needed, guys!
Promise!”
OOOHHH REEAALLLLY!!!!!!!!Brockway.
Well anybody that knows shit, knows that you will get #1 wrong and probably #7 too!!!!
Promise!!!!
February 1st, 2009 at 2:27 am
Cracked started as a rippoff of Mad and was always in the shadow. All cracked has now is a little website. I don’t see why anyone working for cracked would say “I feel sorry for MAD because thier 14 YEAR run of MadTv was not renewed for 09 and thier magazine doesn’t come out as often” considering cracked magazine comes out now, well, never. Also, cracked NEVER even HAD a tv show.
February 1st, 2009 at 2:25 am
Really? 13? That’s the best you could come up with?
sad, very sad, but i understand.
Actually I don’t, I just said that because I was feeling sorry for you.
Oh, feelings gone now.
Also, it’s i(period)e(period), not ie.
How does it feel to be slapped down and corrected?
February 1st, 2009 at 2:04 am
The Dread Pirate is 13 years old
Sorry to everyone who didn’t know that (ie, nobody)
February 1st, 2009 at 1:16 am
Good job guys! I read both Mad and Cracked when I was a teenager and loved them both, but Cracked was always in Mad’s shadow. Not anymore! All that stuff needed to be said by someone, and I’m glad it was Cracked. Congrats on the new hot tubs and ponies!
February 1st, 2009 at 1:08 am
Thank you Berseker. It’s nice to see that I am not the only one who enjoys the HUMOR on this site. I too visit cracked.com often. It’s a great way to get a quick laugh.
New rule, unless your post can compare to the awesomenessness (my word, it’s trademarked, even reading it is not free. In fact, you now owe me money, so get on paypal and send it to me. I’m not joking, either) of Berseker’s post, then you can’t post it here. Go post it somewhere else, but not here. I wish I could say I’m sorry, but I would most likely be lying. Actually, I would be lying, so there.
February 1st, 2009 at 12:59 am
sériously this is more than enough allready!
This is a comedy website. and i would say, an intelligent one. I learn a load of shit here while laughing my ass off.
Now, come on, stop bashing on everything.
I know it is the internet. you think its your duty to say every god awful thing that come to your tiny mind. I know how this work, studied this at university. First of all, if you cant get the intention behind this article, you’re retarded. Or you understand only what you want to. Which is the same as being retarded by the way.
now you had a bad day, you come here, read an article that touch something you like…
HOW THEY DARE MAKE FUN OF -insert anything-! i’m gonna flame them to hell in the commentary section!
Theses guys make an awesome work. If you come here, take the time to read theses articles, then take the time to bash them in the commentary… get the fuck away and dont come back.
It is not surprising to see a lot of writers here starting to talk about theses lame commentary in their articles. its their only contact with their readers, and what they read is depressing.
as far as i’m concern, this site is awesome. I come 5 time a day, no less. You can send me money cause, because of me, you have around 25 new readers in quebec, canada. All who respect your work and find it of high quality. Dont bother with the loosers comments, because i know you guys at cracked know deeply that internet is, most of the time, moron country
February 1st, 2009 at 12:30 am
Wow, it’s such a joy to see so many comments from so many anally retentive induhviduals who, for some unknown reason (cough…pussys….cough) don’t understand SATIRE. (hint:it’s based on humor. Oh, and intelligence, so most of you are already at a disadvantage. I wish I could say that I understand how you feel, but due to the awesome size of MY intelligence, I can’t.)
So from now on, if you are one of those idiots below me who was obviously influenced by your cross-dressing lipstick wearing father figure, you are no longer allowed to post a comment on any article on any website that I read. (which, due to the awesomeness of my intelligence, and my ability to read 4,000,000,000 web pages per second, is all of them)
Again, slowly now…..I don’t want you to hurt your small brains….(don’t worry, I am typing this slowly out of respect to your low I.Q. and pronounced brows)…… SATIRE. As in humorous, funny, comical……ahhh….why do I bother trying. All of you can go back to chastising parents who actually have the balls to still discipline their children for bad behavior and write comments about how “aghast” you are when you read articles by awesome people having sex with horses in hot tubs(I was reading really fast, so I may have read that wrong) and feeling superior while you drive your electric cars at 37 mph in the fast lane.
I have to go out and buy a hot tub…….and a horse.
January 31st, 2009 at 11:18 pm
Why are you teasing Mad go for going monthly to quartley? Cracked magazine went from monthly to never!
January 31st, 2009 at 11:10 pm
Geez, I went to the comments section expecting to see “haha, you showed ‘em, DOB!” and instead, there’s a bunch of MAD sympathizers.
OK, I know the stuff about all the chicks you guys get was intended in a joking manner, but we women of the site actually generally ARE in love with the bloggers. (Mostly Gladstone, but I wouldn’t turn you down either.)
Your points were valid and far funnier than this comment (sorry to disappoint, I’m funnier when I’m not pissed off). Cracked is the future.
January 31st, 2009 at 10:45 pm
Cracked had a magazine at one point, but was always overshadowed and eventually crushed to oblivion by Mad. All that they’re left with is a website with jokes and pictures taken from other websites with a few originals. Cracked is too embarrassed to admit they are only an uderdog compared to Mad. As for Mad TV, the show premiered in 1995, it ran for nearly 14 years! That’s much longer than most TV shows. Cracked was never even deemed worthy of having their own show. So cracked teasing a magazine about having a TV show canceled when cracked never even had one is ignorant.
January 31st, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Wow. Very funny. Especially when your daily updates for the last week or two have had two reposted articles, at least one update a week is a recap of the previous week. I still loved Cracked’s articles. Yours just tend to suck. Do you write them drunk? If not, maybe you should try it. Maybe they’ll be better.
January 31st, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Wow, you guys sound really butthurt.
Least funny article I’ve read on here in a long time I must say. I’m not impressed.
January 31st, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Judging by your articles here on Cracked I’d say you were an awful writer BUT I checked your wikipedia page (because it was mentioned a lot in the comments) and found Bartender.From what I’ve read so far its not bad.So its not that you’re a shitty writer, you’re just not shitty enough to be working at Cracked.com writing lists.Write a book you tool.One thats worth reading.
January 31st, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Wow. It’s almost like “Assrape McAssrape” gets it. What a sharp one!
January 31st, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Mad FTW! Stop picking on them. It isn’t there fault they have to aim toward junior high students…. They USED to be good….
January 31st, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Cracked had a magazine?
Well, you learn something new everyday.
January 31st, 2009 at 6:37 pm
I loved MAD.
You, Sir, are a scoundrel!
January 31st, 2009 at 4:52 pm
“Mad-TV got cancelled”? Really? THAT’S extra trouble for the magazine? As in the magazine that had nothing whatsoever to do with the sketch comedy show?
You forgot about the Mad board game, while you’re at it. That would have been the capper to your incredibly witty essay: “Ooooh, so sorry, Mad, they stopped making your board game, and all the bitches worship my cock!”
January 31st, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Mr. Google tells us that MAD has gotten more press attention for being forced to go to a quarterly schedule than Cracked has gotten for… well, anything ever.
As for the above column? It could use a little summarization. “Bad news for MAD… I’m pretending to have luxuries… more bad news for MAD… more pretending to have luxuries… pretending to have lots of sex… more pretending to have luxuries… more pretending to have luxuries… more pretending to have luxuries… more pretending to have luxuries… more bad news for MAD… more pretending to have luxuries… I fuck your woman in the ass. The end.”
And then, the wave of commenters chortling about those who “just don’t get it.” Yeah, you nailed it. O’Brien’s edgy slice of satiric genius zipped right over so many heads. Alas, not everyone gets to have the finely-tuned aesthetic chops of a Cracked fan.
January 31st, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Danny O’Brien. That soinds so fucking gay. Andy is a fag.
January 31st, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Danny O’Brien you’re starting to sound a tad like Maddox in this post. Haha, not that I have anything against him, but you might want to increase the paying out of children, thats always good for a laugh.
January 31st, 2009 at 3:19 pm
You guys should just buy Mad out. I mean, really, that would be THE Final Word on Who’s the Bitch?
January 31st, 2009 at 3:13 pm
Why do we do even do this, DOB?
I wrote a piece bashing liberals, and got called out for my ‘liberal bullshit.’ I wrote a piece mocking the shoddy science in video game research, and got called out for ‘bashing video games.’ You write a piece light-heartedly mocking the non-existant rivalry between Cracked and Mad, and you get called out for ‘provoking’ said rivalry.
I mean, I know why we have jobs here - waterslide porn and horse money - but why do we actually do the work? I get the feeling everybody would be happier if we just posted pictures of tits interspersed with synonyms for dick.
So, watch out for my next article: The Top 10 Titwang Boobdongs. No pesky reading comprehension needed, guys!
Promise!
January 31st, 2009 at 3:13 pm
HAHAHA you guys are so enjoying this!!!
that’s absolutely mean, but you’re right, MAD sucks, not funny at all, just lame and stupid, not to mention MAD tv, i’m so glad that show was cancelled.
You’d be in the same ship, or worse, if you didn’t have this site, so don’t be such an arrogant prick.
January 31st, 2009 at 2:06 pm
“In defense of Mad Magazine… A lot of people who hate or don’t really get Mad, I think it’s important to note that they did show up when no one else in America was doing quite what they were doing. They were, at the time, original, smart, subversive and plain fun. They came out and said “Hey, look at the world and everything we think is important- Isn’t it stupid?” And we loved them for it. And when they eventually do completely disappear from the stands, I admit that I will be sad. Even though the magazine isn’t at all what it used to be, it’ll be strange enough to me that there won’t be Mad Magazine in America anymore. That’s going to be weird.”
I think you could say the same about the Simpsons (which I grew up on)- the Simpsons definitely isn’t as relevant as it used to be either. I can’t say I’ll feel any deep loss when it goes off the air, as I haven’t watched anything but the classic reruns in years, but it will be strange to have TV without the Simpsons.
And I will shove some bitches out of the way to get a hit off the Cracked pipe. (Or, more specifically, the DOB pipe. Did you ever notice that DOB spelled backwards is BOD? Mmmm.)
January 31st, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Are you guys serious? Without MAD and their coterie of irreverent geniuses, would Cracked even exist today? No one who actually bought these magazines in the 70s and 80s would dare suggest Cracked was anything other than an inferior attempt to siphon off MAD readers–there was no competition as far as quality is concerned. And now you have the temerity to gloat over MAD’s corpse? Isn’t it time to start tomorrow’s lists, erm I mean brilliant comedic offerings?
January 31st, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I always liked Mad. I hope they give us another 500 issues. Unfortunately, that won’t happen until about 2134 at four issues per year!
http://www.madcoversite.com
Doug Gilford
January 31st, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Nothing wrong with top 10 lists, but that is the brunt of the Cracked arsenal. Was that what they filled the pages of their magazines with?
January 31st, 2009 at 1:10 pm
I’m all for comically brutalizing people who deserve it (idiot celebrities, crooked politicians, rednecks, etc) but this is just petty. Cracked originated as a crude knockoff of MAD, and MAD naturally slaughtered Cracked for decades in the Magazine market. MADtv (which admittedly only carried the brand name, and was inconsistent in quality) was successful enough to run for 14 seasons, produced a significant body of memorable comedy bits, and launched the careers of several comedic actors, including Nicole Sullivan, Debra Wilson, Bobby Lee, and Phil LaMarr (who is probably the most prolific voice actor working today). The economy is in the crapper, and magazine sales are on the wane across the board. Admittedly, MAD has not kept up with the times. But Cracked’s success could yet prove to be a flash in the pan, it is not yet time to gloat, even if gloating were appropriate. I have no doubt, that MAD, despite recent failures, retains broader name recognition than Cracked, and millions of adults fondly remember reading MAD as an adolescent. If MAD does revamp their website, as you suggest, and manages to update their format for a more mature audience, as Cracked did, they could be kicking Cracked’s ass within weeks. Then we’ll see who has a hot tub behind their desk.
January 31st, 2009 at 1:06 pm
My god, I love you Cracked. You are modern satirical geniuses. (And I’m a college professor!)
January 31st, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Dear Cracked, I’m glad that you’re doing good for yourself, I never really liked Mad magazine when I was a kid, and I’m not all that bummed to hear that they got shit canned. Anyways, after getting this link through a friend on facebook i decided to check out your website…well, i’ve been exploring for about 20 minutes and I have to say that this website is a total pile of shit guys. I mean, you’re not really edgy, witty or original. All your aticles seem like instead of ripping off Mad magazine like you did when you were a magazine, you’re now trying to rip off maximonline.com… but It’s really nice to see that even though the people now involed with the website, who most likely had nothing to do with the original Cracked magazine, are doing well based simply on the fact that they got to carry over the name. So don’t feel sad for Mad magazine cause they went under…look at it more like this, Mad is finaly able to now realise how much they sucked… You’ll be there some day
January 31st, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Bitter much?
January 31st, 2009 at 11:07 am
Foot Mart - Cracked magazine? Sweet. Break me off a piece of that.
I’ve never really been a fan of MAD, it’s mostly lame booger/poop jokes and crude illustrations of celebrities.
Honestly, has it ever made anyone laugh out loud the way that Cracked does?
January 31st, 2009 at 10:53 am
This website is terrible. It can hardly be compared, as it isn’t funny, ever. It’s simply nerd-bait. It’s actually less inspired than Cracked magazine, which is really saying something.
January 31st, 2009 at 10:49 am
1) Code the mad mag. link to open a new window, not re-direct away from cdracked.com. C’mon, let’s start thinking here.
2) Had to end it with the “butt-sex-with-wives” joke, eh? Not very original. Don’t get all complacent at the top, Cracked.
January 31st, 2009 at 10:30 am
Every response here about how iconic or awesome MAD magazine WAS, just feels like another nail in the coffin for them. Keep up the fun articles CRACKED. MAD can go down in history the same way all the newspaper companies are - IE: the past.
January 31st, 2009 at 10:27 am
Wooooot!
always been a fan of Cracked over Mad. loved the old “the cracked lens.”
the little painter guy mascot seemed friendly too.
problem with Mad, after reading one issue there was no reason to read any others.
they were all the same.
on top of that, the fuckers would republish the exact same shit. i’m not talking using the same theme over and over like above, the EXACT same comics could appear again in a later issue.
congrats Cracked.
January 31st, 2009 at 10:09 am
I remember. I used to read MAD magazine. I’d go every whenever of the month it was to browse through it at the convenient store until the fucker behind the counter got pissed off that I was just standing there and said “uh…I gotta go stock” meaning “uh i wanna smoke a cigarette outside dicknut”. But did i laugh? NO. Did I ever buy it? NO. Did I ever go out of my way to get my picture taken with some lamo dying dlist celebrity so I could get a free subscription [and who the hell went around carrying a MAD mag just in case they stumbled into a retarded celebrity]. NO. Why did I read it? Because I didn’t have cracked.com, which is hilarious. So. People talk about MAD being iconic. And it is. iconic like old school rap. It started something but who the fuck wants to listen to shitty cheesy lyrics when there’s better stuff now. All you asshole nostalgic tards still going to beach boys concerts, playing atari and reading MAD magazine can keep that shit. I’ll take entertainment anyway. Fucking HORSE MONEY. That’s what I’m talking about.
January 31st, 2009 at 10:06 am
Wow, internet comments are, as always, a plethora of joy and good humor. I’m so glad I read through some of these… honestly people, anger? At a comedy article? Good grief. Grow up. It’s COMEDY. You know, that thing that people do to cause feelings of amusement in others? Take it easy.
Actually, you know what? Don’t take it easy. Please continue. I want to see what happens when dozens of online assholes give themselves ulcers and brain aneurysms at the same time. I bet it’s funny.
Funny like comedy articles.
Only with blood.
January 31st, 2009 at 9:54 am
cracked had a magazine? I merely thought they were an internet blog who thought they were something else.. Oh well.
Is cracked’s magazine published quarterly now or still monthly?
January 31st, 2009 at 9:48 am
I enjoy all these “baaaaaawwww cracked is so awful MAD is awesome!!! bawwwwwwww” posts. May be even better than the article, sorry DOB, but some things you just can’t compete with, like violent internet nerd-rage.
Keep them coming all you people who hate cracked so much but ironically are actually ON the cracked website….reading things…..and posting…
wait a sec…
January 31st, 2009 at 9:38 am
How did Cracked’s TV show go? oh right
How is Cracked’s iconic cover boy doing? oh right
How much does MAD Magazine #1 go for in auction? $7500
How much does Cracked #1 go for in auction? $25
Cracked is irrelevant in American culture.
MAD is iconic.
who turns off adblock so you don’t even get revenue for me browsing this page? me
January 31st, 2009 at 9:09 am
“Cwacked was mean to Madd. Waaaaaaaah /cutz”
That’s basically all I’m reading in the comments.
I’m surprised half of you even managed to read the damn thing without stumbling over the big words.
January 31st, 2009 at 7:59 am
WOw dude, that is like WAY cool! Good graphics!
RT
http://www.internet-privacy.us.tc
January 31st, 2009 at 7:42 am
That’s kinda mean but still funny.
January 31st, 2009 at 7:40 am
Speaking of which - all those old Cracked magazines, back to 1958. Does the present cracked.com still have rights to those? Any plans to scan and put them up?
(I read Cracked when I was, like 12. It’s very nice to see it’s alive and well and actually funny and stuff.)
January 31st, 2009 at 7:25 am
It wouldn’t be the internet if people didn’t wharrgable for no apparent reason.
January 31st, 2009 at 7:23 am
Hey Dan, fuck off. MAD was the birth of modern published comedy. If it is going to go the way of the Dodo, so be it, but sitting back and talking trash about it is a piss poor stance.
Would you like it if my 300lb lard ass showed up to your front office and played with your “cracked pipe”? Keep up that mouthing off with that arrogance and you may just find yourself in that position.
Sincerely yours,
Hulking Fat Man With a Leader Fetish
January 31st, 2009 at 7:21 am
Geez, folks, you’d think that after the author actually took the time to explain the joke, the wharrgarbling would stop. It’s a humor website, people - the article was done for the sake of teh funnay, and it did a pretty good job, if you stop and think about that fact. There is no real rivalry between Cracked and Mad. Lighten up a little.
January 31st, 2009 at 7:06 am
Ehhh… this was a miss, DOB. I’m not saying I don’t get it, I’ve read over the comments section and it’s not like I was about to jump down anyone’s throat for being ridiculously arrogant. No, in fact it’s something much simpler. I was disappointed. Every time I read one of these more outlandishly slapstick dopey dick humour articles, and then - by contrast - read your remarks in the comment section, I want to throw something at a wall. You *can* write well, so why don’t you do it more often???
January 31st, 2009 at 7:05 am
So uh, Dan are you doing anything next Friday. I mean I’m having a little get together and I’d like it if you could make it. If you can’t it’s cool, but you know… Just call me okay, if you need a ride or something or whatever okay?
January 31st, 2009 at 6:16 am
I agree with CrackedIsGeh.
January 31st, 2009 at 6:11 am
Dear Cracked,
Really? You really think you are in a position to gloat over?
I looked up “Cracked Magazine” in the dictionary, and all it said was “a MAD Magazine rip-off which eventually dominated the Internet in “Lame Top Ten Lists”.
Haven’t you guys had a few decades already to come up with a writing style that is at least a little bit better than “average frat house blogger”?
I think the only thing you have going for you is the fact most people _don’t_ already know what Cracked is, and assume it’s some trendy hipster blog, and not some second rate “me too!” satire-magazine-come-”hilarious”-Internet-Meme-Regurgitation-Machine.com.
If it wasn’t for ripping off MAD in the beginning and leeching off of 4chan like some starving lamprey, Cracked would still be just that magazine hidden behind the Jumbo Word Search and Guns n Ammo magazines at the local truck stop.
-CrackedIsGeh
January 31st, 2009 at 6:10 am
You guys have any job openings?
I can do a variety of exotic tasks including and not limited to breaking kneecaps, shooting people who annoy other people, and um, public relations.
January 31st, 2009 at 6:03 am
Oh and if you check out my wiki page you can see that its up for DELETION CUZ NO ONE CARES WHO I AM.
“This article is being considered for deletion in accordance with Wikipedia’s deletion policy. ”
“This article may not meet the general notability guideline. “
January 31st, 2009 at 5:57 am
I laughed. A bit.
Then I kinda felt bad for MAD. You damned dirty apes.
January 31st, 2009 at 5:51 am
Wait I was kidding, I try to hard.
And I’m like 17 years old.
And I have baby nuts.
January 31st, 2009 at 5:48 am
So, so tacky…. but I still laughed.
January 31st, 2009 at 5:47 am
I dont care about you losers. I have a Wikipedia PAGE! IM A COMEDY WRITER!! I AM HILARIOUS! I AM THE FRED ARMISEN OF THE INTERNET!
January 31st, 2009 at 5:45 am
See, isn’t that easily the peak of parody right there? You can’t pay money for that sort brilliant satire, only some random guys sweeping in from Digg could possibly pen that level of wit.
January 31st, 2009 at 5:42 am
Wow. Long-winded, unfunny, AND petty. That’s the trifecta of douchery. Well-done.
O’Brien is like the little pissant dog that runs up to the big dog’s body after it’s been hit by a car and pees on it.
And really, considering the fact that Cracked.Com is pretty much the VH1 of the Internet (lists, lists, and nothing but lists), you really don’t have much to be crowing over.
MAD Magazine did more for modern humor and satire than Dan O’Brien could ever dream of doing in ten lifetimes. Enjoy your smug sense of self-satisfaction, Dan. God knows it’s all you’ve got.
January 31st, 2009 at 5:42 am
.44 Magdalene. Thank you for being honest.
January 31st, 2009 at 5:40 am
Don’t be to happy Cracked about the misfortunes of others…You only have a website and no magazine! This whole Internet thing is just a fad…When people will get tired of the Internet they will be back to magazines…And then you will be fucked!
January 31st, 2009 at 5:39 am
Yes. Carlos Mencia and marijuana are both absolutely hysterical, as is copying and altering my screenname to try and take blind shots at me.
Hilarious!
January 31st, 2009 at 5:37 am
hey .44 mag.. im sure you think carlos mencia and weed jokes are funny too.
January 31st, 2009 at 5:35 am
Man, people need to liven up, learn to laugh more. I nearly spit up my drink at “hunk of hot pigshit.”
January 31st, 2009 at 5:35 am
Comedy writer?? Daniel O’brien.. you are a fuckin hack. I don’t know how you did it but your throat must be exhausted from inhaling all of that penis to get where you are to even label yourself..(who the hell does that?) as a “Comedy Writer”. Your “writing” is tired and boring. From now on when I watch something labeled as Comedy and I dont laugh at it I will call it Daniel O’brien. “What are you watching??” “Oh, just some Romantic Daniel O’brien movie.”
Dane Cook deserves more props then this try-hard bullcrap. You are the “Friends” of this website. Gaaaaarbage. Try harder champ. To bad that don’t have some sort of steroids for a sense of humor.. maybe you could suck that shit up and make someone crack a smile you dillbag.
January 31st, 2009 at 5:27 am
You people wouldn’t even know what comedy is without Mad magazine, suck a 2 inch clit, you all wish you could be on somethingawful but you got banned for being a straight noob.
fk you ya noobs.
ps. cracked.com is a small wiggly noob dick.
January 31st, 2009 at 4:48 am
Cracked = Mad without morals.
What are morals? ask your 12 year old playing GTAIV.
I would then put here, going back to play GTAIV, but rockstar have made suck a *cunt* of the PC port that I really cant
even though it’s one of the few PC games I’ve *bought* recently. I think I might go jack off instead with Cigars, Alcohol, Blackjack and Hookers. Fuck it, forget the cigars — AND the blackjack…
What are morals? how the fuck should I know?
What is cracked? MAD without morals….
What is MAD without morals? FUCK ALL.
I’ve came to this shite before to read your top 10 lists, I’ll probably do so again coming from digg. I love to leave adblock on all the time, bet you love those fuckers. Where is your revenue now bitch? I’m sure your pool of fickle 14 year olds wont last forever, probably till they find the 2nd coming of goatse. Even playboy isn’t looking so hot these days - but they had SOME morals too.
.
January 31st, 2009 at 4:32 am
Haven’t laughed so hard since, well, since the last time I read something on cracked. Keep up the great work.
January 31st, 2009 at 4:15 am
What the hell is cracked anyway?
Got linked to this via digg…
Mad has always been one of the best magazines around… its really a shame that attention can be taken away by life that has become so boring that its ALSO boring to make fun of.
no seriously.. what is cracked?
January 31st, 2009 at 4:06 am
I wouldn’t be so pleased with ourselves guys, I wasn’t even aware that Cracked or Mad still existed until today, and I doubt ill ever come back here again. This website reminds me of 1994, I’m waiting to find that Bill Paxton is an assistant editor here. It makes me depressed to think that two minor publications that are both irrelevant are having some internet war that no one cares about.
ps- this site just seems like a suspicious imitation of something awful. Which itself is a suspicious imitation. Who “writes’ for comedy websites still? Jesus…depressing. Finishing college might have been advisable.
January 31st, 2009 at 4:05 am
The difference between Mad and Cracked is that I’d let my kid read Mad. If you have to get laughs off talking about dicks and pussies, than you’re a far cry from the magazine I used to read when I was a kid.
January 31st, 2009 at 3:49 am
Wow… after reading more of the comments, I have to say most of you people seem severely mentally challenged.
This is not an East Coast/ West Coast beef, and they are not Biggie and Tupac.
Nobody really cares what you read growing up. Cracked is not throwing their ‘internet success’ into MAD’s faces.
It was a hilarious way to inform you that MADTV is currently cancelled (aw, Bobby Lee), and MAD mag. is switching to quarterly.
If you’re so offended by this article, why don’t you go buy copies of MAD magazine from their crappy website? I’m sure that’d show Cracked. Man…..
January 31st, 2009 at 3:38 am
Dear Cracked,
I love you.
—
Really though, MAD unfortunately hasn’t been funny for many, many years
January 31st, 2009 at 3:33 am
“Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk! Mad is behind the times! Mad doesn’t get the edgy media of today! So tired, so lame. It’s 2009, losers! And now, we boldly present the top 5 logical flaws in the ‘Karate Kid’ series!
P.S. Anal sex is the ultimate comedy lifeline. Use it, always.”
January 31st, 2009 at 3:25 am
For the record, Mad Magazine was always way better than Cracked. I’m sure we’ll see a new incarnation some day. Most likely on the internet. Until then, Cracked will suffice.
January 31st, 2009 at 3:18 am
Wasn’t Cracked defunct for a few years and then bought by some guy who wanted to turn it into a lad mag like Maxim? It wasn’t until that failed that Cracked.com became the Something Awful ripoff it is today.
January 31st, 2009 at 3:15 am
Im kinda pissed off that mad is going down the shitter but as for the australian content and the show which hasnt been funny for 5 years they can go an get well and truly fucknagled.
January 31st, 2009 at 3:07 am
I’m just shocked that wasn’t written in the form of a top 10 list with a new page for each entry.
January 31st, 2009 at 2:38 am
Dan O’Brien (comedy writer)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This article is being considered for deletion in accordance with Wikipedia’s deletion policy.
This article may not meet the general notability guideline.
January 31st, 2009 at 2:33 am
Actually Mad Magazine was so successful, they ascended to a higher plane of existence in early 2001, leaving only a small group of interns behind to hold the fort.
Dan O’Brien, more like Dan O’Brilliant
January 31st, 2009 at 2:14 am
Hey, Melissa, why don’t you leave another 8 posts about how that “Deconstructing the Daily Show” piece will forever haunt your dreams? It’s really compelling, powerful stuff.
In unrelated news, “The Daily Show” itself loved the article, and featured it on their program. But hey, what do THEY know about funny?
January 31st, 2009 at 2:02 am
@ Dan:
If people can’t understand that Cracked is a comedy website (the fact that the main page has “Funny Website” in the title should be a good first indicator) than they shouldn’t be allowed near a keyboard.
Or air, for that matter.
January 31st, 2009 at 1:56 am
Mad’s still funny when you’re on the airport and there’s nothing else to read but I think its problem is that all the really good artists that had a historic legacy on it all retired at the same time.
Anyone remember the issue that was supposed to be written entirely by monkeys? That just about did it in for me. Even real monkeys would write better than that.
January 31st, 2009 at 1:34 am
“Your obsession with pop culture makes me want to take my pants off.”
I totally relate to this statement! I am so going to join the other women camped outside your offices; I didn’t know we could do that.
January 31st, 2009 at 1:26 am
the problem here is that most people do not see this as a joke. Its not really written in a humorous fashion at all. The simple matter is that Cracked, or any other satiric institution alive today would be function if it werent for MAD
January 31st, 2009 at 1:13 am
I used to love both Cracked and MAD magazines about equally, but then I grew up and noticed that MAD had turned into a big video game ad with a few not-very-funny bits stuck between the pages, almost like they were an afterthought. Thank goodness for Cracked.com!!
January 31st, 2009 at 1:03 am
DOB if you’re really worried about time just have sex with me whilst writing your article. I can assure you that any of us ladies would love to get our sex on in the presence of such creativity.
January 31st, 2009 at 12:59 am
I’ve wondered about that to kingmonkey, the lack of Nanny Dickering, but I believe she does make occasional appearances here on Cracked.com. At least parts of her does anyway. I like to believe the cleavage girl picture they put here all the time is really
Nanny. But then again I believe at lot of weird shit.
January 31st, 2009 at 12:36 am
dan. please write a column every day. think about it.
January 31st, 2009 at 12:32 am
Wow, a little harsh! As an aged reader of both mags ( you were 2 when I was 1) I was always torn as to which one to buy at the stand. Although now I couldn’t get through a day without a Cracked fix, if MAD gets it’s shit together as you have suggested, your Jacuzzi experience may be diminished to something more akin to mine…i.e. a fart in my tub.
January 31st, 2009 at 12:10 am
All I wanna know is, where is Sylvester P. Smythe in all of this?
January 30th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
hey, DOB, um… i know you’re busy working and stuff, but do you wanna have sex?
you’re so funny and wise, it just gets me so freaking hot.
whaddya say, DOB? i’ll settle for just giving some head if you’re too busy to make with the fuckin’.
(i’m totally a girl).
January 30th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
DOB, it’s me. Your conscience. You should kill all the other Cracked writers and take over the site. Do it DOB. DO IT.
Except Swaim. Leave him. But kill the rest, DOB. Kill them. Kill them all.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:46 pm
lbh down there perfectly expresses one of the things that worries/bothers me about MAD’s eventual, inevitable departure. I don’t even read MAD anymore, so it’s not like I’ll miss the content or anything, but I do know that one day I’m going to wake up and I won’t be able to find MAD on the stands anywhere in America anymore. It just won’t be there. A staple in the comedy world that’s been around and available longer than I’ve been alive and suddenly it just won’t be.
Maybe I’m more distressed about what a post-MAD world means for print-media in general, or America as a whole. Or maybe I’m just getting older and arbitrarily clinging to things in my childhood. I don’t know.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
I can’t believe people are actually getting mad about this.
COMEDY website, people.
Come on.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Holy Shit! I have the same headphones as DOB! This is truly an honor. Keep up the great work.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
Wow. I’ve never actually felt like I had to comment here, but you people are just ridiculous. DOB’s braggadocio is obviously a JOKE as this website mostly concerns itself with JOKING. He even said himself that he doesn’t really think Cracked is responsible for MAD’s decline. That’s the point of comedy- you can make it up. Stop taking everything so seriously, sheesh.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
I personally don’t understand how is is physically possible for someone to NOT find you hilarious DOB, like, really. You’re EASILY my FAVORITE Cracked Writer. (that’s right, i capitalized the “W”, thats how much i respect you.)
January 30th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
What self indulgent crap. O’Brien sucks so much he should get a job with MAD Magazine.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
It amazes me that people “pledge loyalty” to Cracked or Mad, Pepsi or Coke, Tysons or Purdue.
And I’m actually really surprised to read the bitterness that exists from the people here at Cracked. I, as well as most people, always assumed that Cracked was a Mad rip-off. And that wasn’t a bad thing, because Mad was funny, and Cracked was too. I got to read two funny magazines, and it made my comedy last that much longer.
If Mad resurfaces here on the interwebs, and I’m sure they will, I will be a regular reader, provided the content is funny, as I am of Cracked.
It’s all just comedy, people.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Great article DOB.
now madtv wasn’t great but it was decent, it had some guaranteed laughs even low brow comedy and it’s not like anyone in this site is above lowbrow comedy.
Cracked offers damn near perfect comedy in a daily basis my hat is off to you for making me smile every morning while i have my maid choke me while i masturbate.
I forgot what i was talking about. oh when that happens i get so mad… oh yeah sucks about that magazine.
go cracked
January 30th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
OK, I’m not done. Sorry.
This makes me sad on a couple levels.
Reading this brought back memories of rummaging through the bottom of my mom’s purse for the loose change that she wouldn’t miss. Then I would run to the drug store and buy the latest issue of MAD. I lived for Spy vs. Spy, the mini cartoons in the margins and the sick jokes like the Tarzan one:”Me Tarzan. You…dead.” God, I still remember the issue featuring the “Poseidon Adventure”.
I just bought my son the Obama: the First 100 Minutes issue and was thinking of getting him a subscription for his birthday next month. Probably not now, with only 4 issues a year.
See, that’s the other thing that makes me sad. I stumbled on this site looking for Helen Keller jokes for the kid. He’d never heard one, I swear. What kind of mother would I be if I let him continue being the only 6th grader on the playground who didn’t know any. As I was saying, I found Cracked.com by accident and have loved it ever since but… it’s not exactly something I can share with my kids.
In an increasingly Über-PC society, Mad was a rebellious little legacy that I could pass down to my little emerging cynics in PG(sometimes PG13) form. What else is left when Mad is gone?
January 30th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
To be honest I never even noticed there was any sort or rivalry between Cracked and MAD. To me cracked was on an entirely different level while MAD was just a shitty TV show and a not-so-funny comedy magazine, Cracked is part of my daily ritual, right between crying and masturbation… but I digress. what was I talking about? Oh yeah, I didn’t even know MAD tv was still on the air all this time, thought it was just repeats from years ago…
January 30th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Boo-yah!
January 30th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
love it.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
Really? That was lame pal.
MAD does suck and has sucked for a very long time but thats what stupid kids comic books do.They suck.Just like Cracked did when it was a shitty kids comic book.But you guys ripped off MAD, right down to the retarded mascot although MAD’s was funnier.
Here’s a title for you, The 3 Most Boring Articles on Cracked.com:They’re All by DOB.Tits.
Its not all bad though, the phrase “sexy helicopter” made me me laugh.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Nice article ^_^
I guess Mad has had their run, everything has to die eventually right?
Except Cracked.com XD They’re immortal lol
January 30th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
First of all: If cracked magazine hadn’t have ridden the coattails of MAD Magazine, then I never would have heard of them.
Be that as it may, cracked definitely has the edge now with their website.
I haven’t read MAD magazine since they started doing color and advertising. I always thought the show was crap.
MAD really went in the crapper when Bill Gaines passed. R.I.P.
There will always be a special place in my heart for the MAD magazine of old. It had such an influence on many comedy writers (e.g. the simpsons). But, alas, they made one marketing failure after another.
Kudos to Cracked for recognizing the trend. I enjoy this site.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Very classy move up there, Mr. “Jesus of Boning” O’Brien…offering support instead of kicking them when they’re down.
Just kidding. I’ve read every column you’ve written here (I’ll get to “Bartender” eventually), so I do “get it”. Anybody else wanting to go on a pissy diatribe about “people losing their jobs” or how “Cracked ripped off Mad” 80 years ago needs to read Daniel’s 12:15pm comment.
Also…I loved that you printed out and put up the Weblog Award, but you really should frame that sucker. Show it the respect it deserves.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
Meh…Could’ve been better dan.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:19 pm
I’m not sure if I’m happier that Mad TV was finally cancelled, or upset that it had still been running that long.
Seriously. That show was anti-humor.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
As a former writer for MAD, I will say that I noticed our quality dropping off around the same time this site debuted, as our entire staff wasted precious time reading your “lists” and ignoring our deadlines.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Don’t be an ass. MAD was here way before you guys.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
@Andrew:
Note that MAD has stayed with the same bland style of humor for much longer than I’ve been alive. CRACKED, however, learns from their mistakes (unfunny material) and adapts to the times. Currently, that style of humor is immature cock jokes and sarcasm, sarcasm, sarcasm, which is coincidently something that CRACKED excels at. If MAD really wanted to stay in the race, they wouldn’t throw in the towel so easy. If they can make 4 “funny” issues a year, how hard can it be to make another 8? I mean, they’ve done it before, right?
January 30th, 2009 at 8:03 pm
I like this website because Ive always found it extremely entertaining. Except this… The author should be fired for this unfunny piece. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
-Alfredo Neumanzalez
January 30th, 2009 at 8:02 pm
I wonder if the Mad people will leave a comment here. This article was clearly aimed at them, as it certainly wasn’t aimed at me. And I’m a 21-year-old single white male. If I lived in America, I’d be your core damn audience. Boo, sir. Boo indeed. I hate feeling marginalised.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Let me see if I have this clear. Cracked, whose magazine tanked long ago, is bashing MAD, because their magazine is down to a quarterly printing? Hmm…no magazine….quarterly printing….no magazine….quarterly printing….Come on Cracked, a little class. Keep your head outta the clouds.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Wow, I stopped watching MadTV long ago… How unfunny was it considering it’s only immediate rival was SNL? Shit.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
“Ron Says:
Tris10000 Sorry I don’t hit women or Gay Men (same thing). And with a handle like Tris you must be smoking pole one way or another.”
A very reasonable response from someone who not 8 hours ago referred to himself as an adult. Bravo.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Yeah, I remember reading MAD when it USED to be funny. I only owned one issue of CRACKED but never really found them at newsstands. Now though I cannot get enough of Cracked.com! It’s too funny and MAD is…well it’s all really just sad.
January 30th, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Not that I really disliked MAD, but Cracked has always been my favorite. All the way back when they did a superhero issues in the late 80’s/early 90’s.
It was giant sized, and had Batman, Star Trek, Indiana Jones, and most importantly, a small picture of Ralph Hinkley. Awesome.
Oh, and the Mascot/Janitor had a magic smiley face button that changed him into a superhero too. Pimp.
January 30th, 2009 at 6:56 pm
I love fridays!! DOB you are my hero
January 30th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
hey the last line is the most awesome last line of them all
except for that one of the 5 most frightening civilizations
January 30th, 2009 at 6:29 pm
(Also, I still have all the actual issues of MAD and Cracked that I ever bought. Lots of regular issues, but I also bought every special issue that came out as well. They’re still fun to flip through. And reading this article prompted me to go to amazon and buy the Absolutely MAD dvd rom… all the issues in PDF format sounds good. I have had the 7 cd rom (windows only) Completely MAD since it first came out, but the interface is absolutely horrible to use.)
January 30th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
I see the chick’s nipples.
And the MAD site looks like some Algerian scammer’s wet dream. I didn’t feel confident enough to click on anything there.
January 30th, 2009 at 6:21 pm
When I was a kid, I pretty much read every issue of Cracked and MAD that came out. I even had a subscription to MAD for years. My main MAD/Cracked consumption was around 1990-1994. The first issue I remember buying was issue #292 (Jan 1990, with the Mario Bros. cover). The last issue was around 1995 or so, I think when I saw ads (REAL ones) and color print in MAD Magazine for the first time. It just ruined it for me. Plus I hated some of the new stuff, especially MONROE.
This website has the Cracked name, but the humor is entirely different than the old magazine. (Much like how MADtv was far different than MAD Magazine.) Cracked became total shit also at the same time that MAD did. This website actually sucks except for the “6 whatever whatever” or “13 blah blah blah” list articles. It’s the only reason I have the feed in Google Reader.
January 30th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
LOL man, that was hilarious. To be honest, I am kind of happy that the show got canceled. It went completely down hill after Will Sasso and the original crew went off… anyway I read both MAD and Cracked magazines when i was a kid, and Cracked seemed to be a lot better than the MAD magazines. MAD is full of arrogant pricks and I’m glad to see Cracked on top. Haha seriously, this article was hilarious. Good job, Dan!
January 30th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Jeez, I’m sorry Cracked. I finished-up on James there and went to take a phone call. He was bitching about how I got it in his eye or something. I guess I left the computer on in the bedroom, and I was reading this site recently. I didn’t mean to let him get on here and vent like that. So sorry.
Why, it’s almost like what DOB did to Mad by writing this article! Brilliant!
January 30th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Tris10000 Sorry I don’t hit women or Gay Men (same thing). And with a handle like Tris you must be smoking pole one way or another.
January 30th, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Bravo! Never have I read such a huge kick in the nuts. I’m proud of you all in the Cracked Staff.
I shall be behind you until the end.
Or until the MAD staff gets mad and bombs your office…I SHALL BE THERE!
January 30th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
All hail Cracked! Kings of purile humour!
January 30th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
I’ve never read a single cracked or mad magazine, but i would however like to say - Ron Swanson is a fucking cunt. Seriously go suck a whole bag of dicks you freak. I also challenge you to a fist fight.
Fuck off and die, cunt.
January 30th, 2009 at 5:23 pm
seems pretty arrogant that a failed magazine makes fun of another failed magazine that lasted longer than them. This site isnt that funny anyway, i only look at it because its free.
January 30th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Tell them Cracked,I never read one of those stupid magazines,but believe me when I was searching for a Rambo article,and I saw a toy with an enormous Rambo and a small jet in an article here at Cracked,the moment I started to read I got in love with Cracked,and I been reading articles since that moment always laughing and laughing with joy,especially in the countdowns,keep that good work Cracked,and never let them pull that pin out because you are fucking sweet!!!
January 30th, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Holy shit! Did anyone else have a seizure when they opened that Mad Magazine website link?
January 30th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
The Lighter Side of…Mad Magazine.
*alfred e neuman, hanging from a noose*
January 30th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
man, i used to love MAD when i was 10…
i have to say, i am absolutely delighted to see that stupid TV show go. it’s always clogging up the airwaves when i want to see what’s on Comedy Central.
i love you, Cracked. please never succumb to shitty content like they did.
January 30th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
hopefully the karma police don’t read this
January 30th, 2009 at 4:50 pm
I noticed last summer that there was both regular Mad and “Mad: For Kids” at the store. Was regular Mad too sophisticated for nine-year old tastes?
January 30th, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Okay, Cracked is great, an all, but seriously, there is a startling lack of Nanny Dickering around here.
Get to work, you zany Cracked layabouts!
January 30th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Cracked magazine was pretty sweet when I was 10 or whenever it was out. I always enjoyed the spies v. sabatuers. Oh, and the shut up strip. Cracked website is pretty sweet now I’m 22. It has busty women pictures (sometimes) and (few) articles that require half a brain.
But fuck MAD. and MADD.
January 30th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
DOB-well done. Most people understood the humor of this column.
I’m embarassed that some of the readers had to have it explained to them. And even then they didn’t get it.
Maybe they need their vaginas updated.
January 30th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Cracked isnt even all that funny, I’m only here cuz Pwot merged
January 30th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Did you know there are six facebook Mad Magazine fan pages/groups? And five of them have more fans than DOB. Let’s fix that.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/pages/Daniel-OBrien/45034426016?ref=ts
January 30th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
@ John Hefner: I’m not saying they shouldn’t be ridiculed nor have parodies made about them. In fact, I’m all for it. The only stipulation I have is that they at least try to be funny or have a point. In the particular article I’m talking about, their point of “ridicule” seemed to be the fact that The Daily Show uses the same type of format every night. They just spent the article describing the daily process. It was like watching a video user guide on using the TV cable box, only there was no instructional information to take away from the Mad Magazine article.
I mean Mad Magazine has their templates as well. They have articles, white spy v. black spy, those fold-up pages, fake ads. etc. They had so many other avenues. They could have made fun of Jon Stewart, the correspondents, the content, the reactions surrounding them…. But deconstructing their format? I have never read something so unfunny.
B) One of O’Brien’s main points was that Mad Magazine has not updated their product and is now suffering the consequences. In response to my disgust of Mad Magazine, you said “clearly you never read an issue of the old CRACKED magazine”. You’re right. I haven’t and probably wouldn’t; but CRACKED was smart enough to change with the times, and now they’re fine. So your statement proves O’Brien’s point.
C) Things change eventually. Once upon a time, typewriters, cassette, and VHS tapes were very popular products. People loved them. They still have their place in history, but we as a society have pretty much moved on. The thing about Mad is that these past several years (Clinton, Bush) have been some of the greatest times for comedy. The fact that their not doing well is probably a sign that they should move on (I also feel the same about SNL). Yes, it will be sad for some. I just happen to not be one of those people.
January 30th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
Wow, considering how Cracked is apparently floating in this shitty economy, any job openings? I have black market connections, that’s gotta be something DOB looks for in an assistant.
January 30th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
From when I was about six years old onward, I bought MAD every single month. I’m 19 now and although within the last year I gradually stopped buying it so regularly, I still get it a few times a year and I still love it.
Cracked magazine was garbage. It was always garbage. Even elementary schoolers knew it was garbage.
I love this site, I come here every day, it’s one of the funniest on the web. But to say that this is somehow a victory over MAD is ridiculous. Cracked Magazine got cancelled, became a website, and changed it’s entire format to stay alive. This site isn’t Cracked magazine, the victor over Mad. It’s FunnyLists.com, which happens to use the name of an old magazine that it has nothing to do with.
Love Live MAD Magazine!
January 30th, 2009 at 4:19 pm
Cracked= good ideas, sometimes original, hilarious, talented writing, ehhhh, half-assed artwork.
Staff= Sit at desks behind computers searching all day. Steal other people’s photos, sometimes they are shitty photoshop.
MAD= good ideas, original, hilarious, talent, ok writing
Staff= People who dedicate days/weeks at a time on a single picture
January 30th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
At least they had a TV show, and at least there magazine hasn’t been completely canceled like yours was, cracked.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
I also like how Mat the W points out DOB is being petty…. has he never come across the proud winner of the webLAME award webSTUPID award for JERKS before?
January 30th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
yes but what about “Crazy”?
January 30th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
If you go to MAD’s website you can get two free issues with a subscription. That’s six months worth of dated content now! I loved the bit about “horse money”. Haha.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
MAD magazine became crappy and irrelevant years ago so good riddens, but I kind of liked MADtv they had some good sketches and characters, oh well. Maybe in the future we’ll se a CRACKEDtv? Well when it gets on the air fell free to send me a royalty check:)
January 30th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Zanny’s not gonna be getting MAD every month for much longer though, shame.
Not being American, I have never seen the magazines, but I loved this article as the great example of DOB’s underhand evilness, he’s a lovable b*st*rd.
And as usual, I am amazed at how stressed out people who are surfing a comedy site can get. I think some people need some bubble baths and an early night.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
erm, back when ya both had magazines MAD used to own Cracked.
But things have moved on and Cracked rules the roost now…appreciate you have some rivalry but this article did seem a bit petty
January 30th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
I love how the way his desk used to look was full of stuff from today like a movie that wasn’t announced and a bobble head for a villain that wasn’t even written yet. lol
January 30th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
@Alex Stockwell-
Have you read Lange’s book yet? It’s friggin great.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I have to be honest here; I haven’t watched MadTV in years. Once Artie Lange got fired, the show slowly declined year by year. The third, fourth, and fifth seasons were still pretty funny, but really, once Alex Borstein and Will Sasso left, I lost interest.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
This article put me in a good mood.
Fuck MAD.
I’ve been with cracked.com for the past two years and watched it rise. Dan deserves those hot tubs.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
MAD Magazine was always for nerds and stoners when I was growing up. In my late thirties, I find CRACKED hits my comedy g-spot just with just the right amount of force.
Oh, and… Suck it DOB!
January 30th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
@ Melissa: The Daily Show and Colbert have become worthy targets for satire simply by the fact that, even though they are comedy, TONS OF PEOPLE TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY. Jon Stewart knows this, and has to frequently remind people not to do that!
And according to DOB’s comments here, that’s actually not really what this article is about, as you say. So no, I didn’t exactly “convey” his point. What he’s talking about and what we’re talking about are apples and oranges.
To take this WAY more seriously than I should on a bloody comedy website, my point to you was that I took issue with the reasoning being your “good riddance” toward a venerable publication that has influenced a whole generation of comedy. And while it’s a pale shadow of its former self, um, have you ever read a classic issue of MAD in its glory days? Using current MAD as an example to say “good riddance,” is like holding up a SIMPSONS episode of the past several years as a reason to write off that show entirely.
January 30th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
meh. i like mad, somewhat sad to see it be scaled back..but madTV however…oh my god i was happy when it was announced that it died..
sick burn cracked, keep rocking
January 30th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
ah DANces with wolves, you are quickly becoming my favorite cracked blogger
January 30th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
fuck you guys, i love mad and will miss it very much.
cracked is great, but i love my spy vs. spy.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
Cracked really needs to update their comment system. Replying to someone and finding the comment that person is replying to is a son of a bitch.
This @ *name* thing is getting out of hand
January 30th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
Pretty lame article…
January 30th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
I got MAD a lot more when I was a kid, but the greatest thing I ever got in a magazine was the Pukémon cards out of Cracked. Being an absurdly huge (in spirit, not stature) Pokémon fan, I found it brilliant. Even I could tell exactly when MAD fell by the wayside: the moment they started printing in colour. Oh well, Cracked is still here and still superior.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I grew up with Mad magazine. Cracked was just a cheap rip off with pathetic jokes (even at 6 years of age, I though Cracked sucked dick).
However, I now enjoy Cracked.com most every day.
This article however sucks, except for the hottie.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
Thanks DeamsterPhile. I should have another article up soon.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Are you guys trying to fuel a feud?
Because I get MAD every month, and they obviously don’t really care.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
I remember enjoying both cracked and mad when i was a kid but the first spoof magazine i ever bought was cracked making fun of space jam on the cover. I am glad that at least one of you guys are still doing well.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Cracked is the shit, I swear my undying allegiance to you fuckers…
and btw, fuck magazines. The internet is for our generation, magazines are for old people.
January 30th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
i think this post was hi-larious…and d.o.b does it again..congrats on your web award by the way ..i read these retarded(in a good way)articles every day..while im suppose to be working..so to everyone thats angry..it’s a COMEDY WEBSITE!!!…let it go
January 30th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
i’m glad Cracked went digital… the site is funnier than the magazine EVER was. but i’m even more glad that Mad TV got cancelled. it was becoming an abomination.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Pretty pathetic there, Cracked. Are you going to knock out Muhammad Ali next week?
MAD is more culturally relevant historically than Cracked ever has been or will be, but it died with Bill Gaines. That was their mistake, should have called off publication then.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
John Hefner said, “@Melissa, badmouthing MAD for “deconstructing” comedy the way you describe… clearly you never read an issue of the old CRACKED magazine.”
John, I wouldn’t describe it as “deconstructing”. They were the ones who used that phrase. Apparently, they had done this with the other late night talk shows as well. No, my term would be “life-draining”, as in “I’ll never ever get those minutes or money back.”
As for that article being like the old Cracked magazine, I’m sorry to hear that. At least, however, Cracked had the good sense to change, which is what this article is about. So good job at conveying Mr. O’Brien’s point.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
yeah…… haven’t really felt the desire to read a MAD magazine or watch the show since I was like… 15.
But, (mostly because it’s updated every day, they’re actually funny and they have horse money), I do a little Cracked every few hours.
If you guys need an intern (volunteer of course) to handle some of your female “campers”, I’ll send you my number.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Yeah, I remember back in the old days when MAD used to be funny. But now, things are a lot different. In any case, it’s great that Cracked has its own website.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Do you guys often check lesbian news sites for info about mad magazine?
January 30th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Cracked has always been funnier than Mad.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
The end was so so great
January 30th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Pious people are annoying. While people losing their jobs is never quite humorous, MAD is and has been retarded. Cheers.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:36 pm
DOB, I need you to update my vagina with your dick. All it has is windows ME… and that is a sad and lonely way for a vagina to run.
If it wasn’t clear, I am asking you to have sex with me because I am tired of simply masturbating to the thought of you and/or coming up with computer puns.
Love, Some Chick Camped Outside of Cracked
January 30th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
In somewhat poor taste and not particularly funny but a little gloating is certainly due so you are forgiven.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
@John Hefner- Yeah, the Cracked references in both Family Guy in The Office were actually hilariously depressing. Peter was disappointed that Jesus would read a Cracked magazine, and Michael Scott admitted that he was a Cracked subscriber. In both cases, the joke was that liking Cracked magazine was ridiculous, and the fact that they didn’t mention the website means they don’t even know we exist.
It was the anti-reference.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
in the picture of the crack desk i spotted the web blogger award
January 30th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Damn, is it always this tense down here? (I don’t usually read the comments). Lighten up, it’s a comedy site. Don’t like comedy? Go to MAD’s site… Ha ha, I jest, I jest.
January 30th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I want some of this horse money
January 30th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
@ John Hefner…If I remember correctly, Family Guy references Cracked disparagingly (Jesus wants to buy a Cracked Mag and Peter is upset and appalled with him because of it), whereas The Simpsons references Mad in a loving manner (Bart sees the inside of Mad HQ and exclaims “I’ll never wash these eyes again!”)
Kinda says a lot right there.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
@Dr. Scrowtum-
Doc, if I had to explain a joke at the end of every article, I’d never get anything done. I also don’t want to assume ignorance in the reader. I trust the folks here to read and understand a joke. When it’s clear in the comments that some don’t, I’ll poke my head in to explain, (which I also hate doing).
January 30th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
QUOTE: “Daniel O’Brien Says:
January 30th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
In defense of Mad Magazine… A lot of people who hate or don’t really get Mad, I think it’s important to note that they did show up when no one else in America was doing quite what they were doing. They were, at the time, original, smart, subversive and plain fun. They came out and said “Hey, look at the world and everything we think is important- Isn’t it stupid?” And we loved them for it. And when they eventually do completely disappear from the stands, I admit that I will be sad. Even though the magazine isn’t at all what it used to be, it’ll be strange enough to me that there won’t be Mad Magazine in America anymore. That’s going to be weird.
And, to everyone pointing out that Cracked started as a rip off of Mad…I know. I also know that Cracked.com is a completely different animal from the magazine, and it’s always been difficult for us to sort of balance our respect for the Cracked brand with our desire to distance ourselves and make something new that is distinctly ours.
Meanwhile, there hasn’t been a Mad/Cracked rivalry for years. I don’t see their magazine as competition for our website, and it wouldn’t surprise me if it turned out that the folks behind Mad had no idea that a Cracked site even existed. I have no personal reason to hate Mad, which is why writing a celebratory post promoting a feud that doesn’t even exist was a funny idea to me. It’s like if an American guy beats a British guy in a friendly race, and I came out and said “Hah! That’s what you fuckers get for trying to unfairly tax us 200 years ago. Haw haw haw.” The idea of a rivalry between us now is totally absurd and that, in part, was what I wanted to play with in today’s article. ”
Now wouldn’t it be much clearer if you’d post this at the end of that article, many of the readers were confused and defended MAD or dissed them, people didn’t know if it was a joke or not.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
THE SIMPSONS references MAD (at least three times, by my count).
FAMILY GUY references CRACKED.
Kinda says a lot right there.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Ah common, we all know Cracked started off as a cheap knockoff of Mad Magasine. When I was a kid I used to buy Cracked because it was cheaper, but boy did I ever regret it everytime I openened up that shit rag. I come to this website because it has absolutely nothing to do with the magasine, and I like it that way. Did you guys get a new mandate to shit on Mad or what? Definitely not cool.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
@EddieBrock-
The Joker Bobblehead is from my Dad, and today is his birthday! Happy Birthday, Poppa O’Brien!
January 30th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
@ Ron
That was a recent episode of family guy where jesus visits.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Oh, and “Lord Astral” has it right - although this may be a victory for Cracked, no one should really be celebrating.
In a slow economy, less people have less money to be purchasing things they don’t need - like Mad Magazine. Cracked, however, has catered to anyone who has internet access.
Although, they do bring up some good points about how Mad should’ve invested more time and effort into a more content-filled website. I’m sure they’d probably be somewhere up there if they had, with all the loyal Mad followers.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
I liked it.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
“Hate It Or Love It, The Underdogs On Top!” - Cracked should hire you as a writer for them. You seem to write in the same style as their writers do.
As for Cracked vs. Mad, I’ve not seen too much of Mad other than on television (I have generally liked it better than SNL to say the least, save for when the originals were on SNL), so I’m no where near being an expert on who is better. In terms of Cracked alone, however, I think it’s unfair those of you who are saying they are unfunny.
Granted, the lists and all aren’t COMICS or humorous in that nature, but they put real (or mostly real) information in humorous format, with many small jokes scattered in between paragraphs.
And besides, if you really don’t like it that much, then why are you at their website - reading their articles?
January 30th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
One day I too shall have Horse Money. Gods do I want to be that rich.
Oh, and its good that you fill your hot tub with naked, ethnically diverse women or you could open yourself up to a discrimination lawsuit.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Lord Astral: I will give you that. But Mad Failing has nothing to do with CRACKED!
This article is a gloating blow my own horn look at me. When in reality. Mad handed Cracked a pink slip years ago!
All print media is suffering because of the web. Cracked didn’t do shit to stop Mad Technology did.
When Mad goes full force on the Internet, We will all be saying Cracked who again?
January 30th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
DOB, I love how that picture of your desk, which was supposedly taken months ago before Cracked success, is sporting a picture of that WebBlog award you got only a couple of weeks ago.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
In defense of Mad Magazine… A lot of people who hate or don’t really get Mad, I think it’s important to note that they did show up when no one else in America was doing quite what they were doing. They were, at the time, original, smart, subversive and plain fun. They came out and said “Hey, look at the world and everything we think is important- Isn’t it stupid?” And we loved them for it. And when they eventually do completely disappear from the stands, I admit that I will be sad. Even though the magazine isn’t at all what it used to be, it’ll be strange enough to me that there won’t be Mad Magazine in America anymore. That’s going to be weird.
And, to everyone pointing out that Cracked started as a rip off of Mad…I know. I also know that Cracked.com is a completely different animal from the magazine, and it’s always been difficult for us to sort of balance our respect for the Cracked brand with our desire to distance ourselves and make something new that is distinctly ours.
Meanwhile, there hasn’t been a Mad/Cracked rivalry for years. I don’t see their magazine as competition for our website, and it wouldn’t surprise me if it turned out that the folks behind Mad had no idea that a Cracked site even existed. I have no personal reason to hate Mad, which is why writing a celebratory post promoting a feud that doesn’t even exist was a funny idea to me. It’s like if an American guy beats a British guy in a friendly race, and I came out and said “Hah! That’s what you fuckers get for trying to unfairly tax us 200 years ago. Haw haw haw.” The idea of a rivalry between us now is totally absurd and that, in part, was what I wanted to play with in today’s article.
@Ron-
Why are you so cranky? Life is way too short for that, man. Take it easy.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Truth be told, I wouldn’t start getting into a pissing match with Mad over magazine quality. Cracked got a million times better after the magazine died off and it went online-only.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
# Chesterton Says:
January 30th, 2009 at 11:35 am
I enjoy this site, I really do. But this was just ugly. I don’t see any cause for celebration when real people are losing real jobs.
—-
Cracked is celebrating because years after Mad kicked their asses in the print media they are starting to fail.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Stacy, sadly, this site is for people who don’t need to be told when to laugh.
I suggest you turn off the internet and go re runs of sitcoms where they have a good laugh track to assist you in your search for an alert to where the humor is.
January 30th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
While i was reading this article I remembered that this was the magazine I used to buy when all the MAD magazines were sold out.
thanks for the good ole memories.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:53 am
Dan, what movie was Cracked mentioned in? Was it recent?
I remember watching the Family Guy episode where Peter goes blind and in one random clip, they have Peter reading a Cracked magazine article to Meg.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:49 am
Dan it was mentioned because well Cracked probably paid for the spot in the movie dumbass.
Also Mad has always been a part of DC Comics.. Go watch The Wiggles or something. The Adults are talking
January 30th, 2009 at 11:46 am
looks like stacy has Mad dick up her ass.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Mad sucks. Their shitty website appears to be owned by DC comics and some other publishing companies. What shitholes. Anyway, when is the last time Mad Magazine was mentioned in a motion picture? I can’t remember the movie, but Cracked Magazine was definitely mentioned by one of the characters. As in, “hey while you’re in there, pick me up a Cracked Magazine!”
January 30th, 2009 at 11:41 am
I have to admit that Mad Magazine’s humor WAY outclasses Cracked, there’s not even a comparison there. I do enjoy cracked a lot, but it’s nowhere near the standards of Mad. This article is a bit of a shame, which I come across every now and then here (otherwise most is pretty good!).. Please can someone tell me where the “funny parts” were in this post??? When was I supposed to laugh? LOL?
January 30th, 2009 at 11:41 am
nice desktop background DOB, i have the same one
January 30th, 2009 at 11:40 am
Back in the early 80’s my mom would buy Cracked Magazine for me. But when I discovered MAD, I liked it better. I’ve saved a bunch of issues and have collected others. Back when MAD was still good from the early 80’s up to when Bill Gains passed away. (R.I.P.)
Now it looks much worse and what makes it really bad is they have advertising. Gains would not be happy.
Well, now Cracked is better and MAD is worse.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:40 am
@Melissa, badmouthing MAD for “deconstructing” comedy the way you describe… clearly you never read an issue of the old CRACKED magazine.
@Anaughtybear: zombie Harvey Kurtzman could kick his ass.
MAD needs to fall into such disrepair that it can slip away from the bloodsucking corporate shackles of TIME/Warner and be taken up by the new generation. I’m confident it will endure, in some form or another.
Be smug while ye may, Cracked. If you could become this excellent after decades of being a derivative shit-rag that was rightly canceled and actually becoming *somewhat* originalish… well, I dare say someone MAD will make it in the long run.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:39 am
This is really stupid.
How on Earth are Mad and Cracked even competitors anymore? The current Cracked has absolutely nothing to do with the magazine (the magazine Mad put out of business) except the name. Nothing. All the new Cracked is about is comics, video games, and movies. Insural nerd jokes for insular nerds.
And what does Cracked have now? It just continues to “borrow” content from other successful websites. Something Awful, 4chan, Fark…I can see the “inspiration” from those sites all over Cracked.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:39 am
damn, dan, you the man!
your office is awesome! “I mean, it’s tough enough updating our site every day, so what, are we supposed to update their vaginas every day, too? With dick?” THE BEST LINE!
@robert
that was fantastic! “Now look at me - constantly having sex on waterslides.”
i wanna let y’all know that i introduced obama to cracked and he liked it. i know all the presidents. i ALSO know the alphabet. i can count to 3.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:36 am
Its sad that I agree with this. I had thought MADTV was canceled years ago, too. Oops. But the magazine? Damn. I’m gonna miss those comics, cause that was about all that was truly funny in that magazine. And the Fold back covers. I loved folding that cover to see a funny little picture within a picture. *sighs*
And to DB’s reply: What’s so bad about 10 most lists? People make millions of “10 most horrible fashion faux pas of the month” and you complain about some actually good “10 most” articles? Really?
Well, I get a kick out of them. And I used to be a huge MAD fan. And MAD was a little stale on the jokes.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:35 am
I enjoy this site, I really do. But this was just ugly. I don’t see any cause for celebration when real people are losing real jobs.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:31 am
DOB is Irish… He is bound to get drunk and fuck it up at some point…. They always do.. I mean how the fuck do you fuck up growing a potato for christ sakes….
January 30th, 2009 at 11:27 am
First doesn’t mean better. Would you rather have an Apple IIC or a a modern computer? O thought so. DOB is legendary, and could also take Mad writers in a fist fight.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:26 am
Voidedlives you caught me… See the few comments I have made are way funnier then anything on the site today…
I would do top 10 reason why Mad is Better then Cracked…. But hey we know who has donkey fucked that into the ground and called it comedy…..
January 30th, 2009 at 11:26 am
From one Dan to another -
Your website is rad. Really cool aricles, relevant and fun. Hip. Totally not indicative of Sylvester P. Smyth, but a nice reboot after your second attempt at the magazine failed two years ago.
Thing is, regardless of how shitty Mad’s website is, and it is, there seasonal issues is still going to be 4 more than your magazine. Additionally, Cracked would never have been around, its form if it weren’t for Mad. I was one of those kids that read both Mad and Cracked. There were die hard Mad guys who would always put down cracked, but cracked was funny too. It had great artists and fun gags… it was definately a knock off of mad, but held its own too. The back cover with Sylvester as different celebrities was the best and then when you guys got Don Martin for a short period of time, I was just glad I could still see new works from him.
Point is, I liked Cracked back in the day. I like Cracked.com now, but you are a douche. The tone of this entry is not funny or cutting edge or anything… its not funny. Not too classy. 2 cents
January 30th, 2009 at 11:22 am
I love the fact that you showed the award you won on your wall in your office pic, DOB. Very classy touch!
January 30th, 2009 at 11:22 am
This article is horrible. It’s not funny, really, like most other articles on this site. Cracked is by no means a better than par humor site, unless countless hordes of ‘10 reasons why…’ lists are the cornerstone of humor these days.
If Mad attempted create a legitimate comedy website, it would blow cracked out of the water.
I challenge Cracked to write some better stuff, because it would be funny. And I would like the site better.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:21 am
hahaha this is comical in the fact that…10, 20 years from now…people will know what MAD is/was but Cracked will be completely forgotten.
It’s like N’Sync saying they’re better than the Beatles because they are “new and hip” but the simple fact remains…one was their first, and that was MAD. Cracked is/was/always will be a bad knock-off.
I wouldn’t go passing this garbage around for too long, after all in 2009…anybody could start a site like Cracked.com. Anybody.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Ron Swanson is a Mad infiltrator! *points frantically*
January 30th, 2009 at 11:14 am
I haven’t read all the posts here, but I do like the shot of your desk DAN and the verifiable physical proof that you actually did win the Weblog award WebLame award Webstupid award for jerks. Very Nice.
January 30th, 2009 at 11:14 am
I remember as a kid, getting so involved in the “rivalry” between Cracked and Mad. And for whatever reason, Cracked was always funnier to me.
Mad was alright, but their artists weren’t as good, and I was a big comic book head.
I always knew Cracked was a Mad rip-off, but I still rooted for them because they seemed like the underdog, something that I still do to this day (GO CARDINALS!)
Anywhooo…when Mad got their television show and Cracked disappeared from the shelves, I wept, ripped my clothes, wore saccloth for a year and began to regularly beat my dog (sorry about that Butter Biscuit). I put away my stacks and stacks of old Cracked magazines and resigned myself to defeat. My team had finally lost.
Years later, I discovered this site and rejoiced. From the ashes they had returned! And they were hilarious again, in all their listy goodness.
Mad was always so arrogant. The visage of their mascot permeated pop culture, while Cracked’s little blonde bastard couldn’t buy a nickle prostitute with four pennies and credit. I’m happy to see them go down.
(Although I’d much rather see MadTV’s Debra Wilson go down, seriously, it’s the breasts folks; huge knockers.)
This for me is like sticking by a certain football team through season after season of spirit-crushing dissappointment, and after ripping all your clothes and taking the extension chord to your baby labradoodle for the last time, they finally make the playoffs…and win. (wink, wink) So a pox on Mad. Cracked Wins! The Rocky Music plays and all our dogs die a horrible whimpering death.
HUZAH!
(R.I.P. Buttered Biscuit)
January 30th, 2009 at 11:14 am
Styxwade oh did I my bad…..
Oh and DeamsterPhile go to 4chan where cracked steals most of there is it there or their or these or peas??? Anyway yeah 4chan it’s the place these halfwits get the jokes they use….
It’s better when you read it the first time and not second hand.. wait Cracked has always been about second hand jokes….
Bait bait bait…
January 30th, 2009 at 11:06 am
Despite the fact that “Simpsons did it!” First or anyone else its Cracked that is doing the best now.
There is nowhere else on the web that is as consistently side splitting and no one here can deny that.
I miss GLADSTONE, DOB
January 30th, 2009 at 11:06 am
W00T! YAY CRACKED! I’ve always hated Mad, and when I checked their website I puked (Never mind that I had the stomach flu.).
January 30th, 2009 at 11:05 am
@Ron Swanson:
Did you just miscapitalise “grammar”?
January 30th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Haha! that may have been the funniest thing ever. Plus, the fucking mad ugly guy has always annoyed me. its ugly, and not funny. that is not comedy. boo. boo mad. I hope that ugly little fucker burns in hell!
January 30th, 2009 at 11:00 am
DOB, you need to do more crotch pointing for christ sake!
January 30th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Awesome boat illustration. Pepsi’s club effect gave me the shits, as does “Detective Comics Comics”.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:58 am
This whole thing reminds me of the whole “Microsoft bailing out Apple” thing.
And even though this is like, my favorite site on the web, let us not forget that ever since the end of Cracked the Magazine, the name of “Cracked” is now controlled almost exclusively by twenty-something, aspiring internet comedy-troupe hipsters with a strong penchant for inside-jokes and snarky critiques as opposed to animated outright parody, which was Cracked’s (by extension, Mad’s) bread and better back in the ‘mag days.
So kudos for the success, fellas. But remember: never forget where you came from.
Cheers
January 30th, 2009 at 10:57 am
gotta say i used to love mad back in the day (70s/80s) even the parodies i didn’t get cos i wasn’t born yet, but i recently picked up a magazine and they are now so desperately pathetic i think they should bow out gracefully in deference to the ole days…
yours sincerely,
ethnically diverse hot-for-cracked-authors groupie
January 30th, 2009 at 10:57 am
Oh yeah you’re so right sorry Frank for that error there…. Wasn’t really going for correct Grammar and all… You know a quick little rant…
But I do know how to spell Fuck You….
January 30th, 2009 at 10:56 am
Suck it, MAD. You just got served, DOB style!
January 30th, 2009 at 10:53 am
@Chase Mitchell
No. No, there is not.
@Brockway
I love you.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:52 am
MAD was edgy cuz Harvey the K was edgy. Harv took a lot of it with him.
A lot of MAD depended on the New York Jewish sensibility, which is the wellspring of a lot of funni, but they gradually confused the funni with the ethnicity/locality, which was a mistake. Dave Berg != Harvey Kurtzman. And not all of us know what Brioschi is, or have to tip tradespeople every Christmas.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Ron, it’s spelled “were”
January 30th, 2009 at 10:51 am
I’m so happy that Mad Magazine is dying. Ever since I read their “humor” piece on The Daily Show, I’ve been quite angry with them. And by “humor” piece, I mean they deconstructed the show. Who the hell does that? I can understand most types of literature, television, films, even historical events, but comedy shows? That’s like having to explain a joke… it takes every ounce of humor out of it. Look, I love jokes at the expense of The Daily Show and Colbert Report (just like I love the shows as well), but when you deconstruct comedy….it just ruins everything. I’d rather sit through an hour lecture on the history of turpentine than read one panel of that “comic” again.
So, Mad Magazine, why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from your sh*tty magazine.
Good Riddance
January 30th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Mee-yow!!!
January 30th, 2009 at 10:43 am
[...] do not know where to begin in excerpting “Cracked Officially Starts Feeling Sorry for MAD Magazine:” I’m not sure that I can, effectively. In some ways, it feels like a situation [...]
January 30th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Yeah, the better, funnier, more successful version of Cracked sure does suck!
January 30th, 2009 at 10:38 am
Can I have a horse too?
January 30th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Cracked has relieved my doubt. I thought all Americans were as funny as madTV (ie not)
January 30th, 2009 at 10:34 am
OK… I’ll say it if no one else will. When you where publishing Cracked Magazine you where always the Red Headed Step Child to Mad.. I know when I was a kid and I asked my Mom to pick up Mad while she was shopping and she got cracked my heart broke a little..
So Mad is going quarterly They are still doing something Cracked isn’t anymore being published! Oh and we both know it will only be a matter of time before they come on the Internet with there own content.. Not something one of your goons researched off Wiki..
While I’m at it.. Maybe you should get down on your knees and kiss David Letterman’s ass for giving you the top “insert number here” list that we get to read everyday and watch videos we can catch on youtube and not even bother coming to the site..
Also those great picture contest you have. Way to raid 4chan guys and stick a big CRACKED.com watermark on it.. Makes you look like a glorified Ebaums and the stealing a little more forgiving..
You might be smug now. But never forget you where Mads bitch and will be again…
January 30th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Y’know, before I started writing here, I always thought the stuff about ‘constant sex’ and ‘waterslides’ was just a joke. I never took it seriously.
Now look at me - constantly having sex on waterslides. Sure, it’s slippery and often a little awkward, but if you time it just right and orgasm on the loop-de-loop, it’s like squirting angels from your pleasure cannon.
Also, we get desks? I just use the interns like human tables.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Hey, first of all let me say that I enjoy the site and I find it very funny. But, from your wikipedia entry, one can tell that cracked had a very hard beginning (and during) time.
For christ sake, you were a rip off from Mad. ( “…Cracked shamelessly aped Mad’s layouts and subject matter, and even featured a dumb, wide-jowled mascot …” ) There´s no pride in that.
Maybe Mad will have the same fate as you guys and rise from the hole they seem to be getting into. Just saying, have some respect from what, according to wikipedia, is your mentor as a magazine.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:07 am
I officially agree, the Mad website sucks….
January 30th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Scathing DOB. Absolutely Scathing.
January 30th, 2009 at 10:03 am
DOB, I think you’re well on your way to being a multiple WebLAME award winner.
I’m pulling for you in 2009!
January 30th, 2009 at 10:01 am
Wow Dani way to be a party kill
January 30th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Love you guys, but you really need to do a little proofreading before gloating. Kinda makes you look like the dumbass when you refer to “they’re website.”
January 30th, 2009 at 9:50 am
Well said, DOB. Well said indeed.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:49 am
Go ahead and cancel SNL then, too. Put it out of it’s misery. Hasn’t been funny with any consistency at all since the early to mid 90s.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:48 am
To be fair, I don’t think you can refer to a magazine that has been around for over 50 years and a TV show that has been on the air for over 13 years as “embarassing failures” regardless of the current states they’re in. But yes, the market for something like Mad Magazine just doesn’t exist like it did when I was a kid and if they are unable to move into the internet age, then they will completely go under.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Room enough indeed.
But there’s nothing wrong with a little rivalry, is there?
January 30th, 2009 at 9:39 am
So funny, and so sad. Like sweetestsadist, I grew up reading both. Unlikely as it is, I’m sincerely hoping for a Cracked-like metamorphosis into something once again relevant. After all, I had the same gut-churning reaction when I saw Cracked’s first short-lived revamp (with the Tom Cruise cover). Anyway, here’s hoping. There’s room enough on the Internet for both of you.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:38 am
That’s not good for karma, Dan.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:26 am
The other night I had a dream where DOB wrote, directed, and starred in the most important movie ever. That’s right, DOB. I dream about you. And the movie had something to do with reindeer, I don’t really remember the details.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:18 am
@Boombalonga
Could be that he recreated his old desk using a second hand he got from one of the fired MAD-editors.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:17 am
I know this has been said, and is going to be said a bunch more times, but I love your desk space. Great article, made me laugh.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:16 am
It’s kind of sad. I read both Mad and Cracked from the time I was six until about sixteen. I still have all those issues. Cracked disappeared and Mad lost all of its good writers. (I officially gave up Mad when they allowed some other asshole to attempt Spy vs. Spy). A few years ago I picked up a copy of Mad and knew it was over. It had colored pages and advertisements. It was geared toward ten-year olds. (I was a gifted child, by the way. I got the humor when I was six.) Look at the philosophies of William Gaines and you will see that these two things went entirely against what the magazine was intended to be. So, I do feel sorry for the original artists/writers (Al Jaffee, Don Martin (who was the first rat off the ship), Etc.) These new guys can eat a dick. I hope they never work again. I have much hate. They are the Fuckiest Fucks that ever Fucked a Fuck.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:12 am
I also went to the MAD site and… holy shit.
are you sure that’s not the link to the MADD website, because those two probably have equal amounts of humurous material.
(though there’s no harm in admitting that the picture of Obama made me smile… just a tiny bit)
January 30th, 2009 at 9:09 am
“Cracked has horse money” is one of my new favourite DOB lines. Also, DOB’s office is Insanely Awesome
-WebLame award posted
-issues of Cracked Magazine
-Comic books (I think)
-Joker bobblehead (I’m gonna need to know where you got that)
-Watchmen background (though I’m genuinely surprised you don’t have a background picture of boobs)
January 30th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Mad’s time passed a long time ago, nice article.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:59 am
And, I gotta say, at first glance MAD’s website wasn’t so bad but when I started looking around… I realized there was nothing TO look around in. It’s just little ads for their poor, floundering magazine. And what the hell is Spy vs Spy Jr.? What the HELL are they DOING to Spy vs. Spy? Those bastards…
January 30th, 2009 at 8:58 am
blatant lies! no way you had a watchmen desktop back when Cracked was a mag.
Damn, wild_marker beat me to it. *sigh* I suck.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:56 am
You ACTUALLY put the WebLame award up?!
January 30th, 2009 at 8:55 am
Sorry, I got the market cornered on smoke signals.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:54 am
Am I the only one who noticed DOB has Watchmen on his PC’s desktop?
January 30th, 2009 at 8:48 am
i love you D.O.B.
January 30th, 2009 at 8:42 am
Great article. Of course, being a skeptical person, I went to Mad’s
site and saw for myself if it did suck or not.
Long story short: The suckiness is astounding.
Cheers, Cracked!