In a move that shocked no one, China recalled another defective product this week. The twist this time is that the product was a children’s toy called Aquadots, and the minor defect was that they are coated with the date rape drug.
Frankly, I’m having trouble believing this wasn’t intentional. Tiny pill-shaped pellets coated in roofies and sold to American children? We’ve either got a lot more to fear from the Chinese than we thought or a lot less, because their toy manufacturers are clearly either evil or retarded, and I wouldn’t rule out both at this point.
But honestly, what were they thinking? There’s no market for this product. Do you know how easy it is to get a kid drunk? All you need is like a thimble of Glenlivvet, not some fancy toy-pill.
The worst/best part is that in their official apology, the manufacturers apologized for “damaging the ‘Made in China’ label during the Christmas season.” THAT’S how devoted to industry the Chinese are.
Look, China, it’s fine if you drug my son. Hell, if I didn’t break out the Nyquil now and again I’d never get a full night’s sleep. But at least apologize for doing it, and not for hurting your country’s GNP.
On the plus side, Aquadots are now selling for hundreds of dollars apiece on eBay to frat houses across the country.
This entry was posted on Thursday, November 29th, 2007 at 4:00 pm and is filed under Aquadots, China, Christmas, Date Rape, News, Product Recall. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
How I Spent My Summer Vacation, By Michael Swaim (Age 24)
The Funniest Comedic Failure in the History of YouTube
Hollywood Gives Up: Keanu Reeves to Play Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde
The 5 Most Likely Ways Humans Will Become Obsolete
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
April 27th, 2009 at 2:28 am
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
January 17th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
What pisses me off about this is that they DID remake these as Pixos, and in the commercials they have this little “Safety Tested!” part. Godammit, that didn’t stop you the first time, did it?
November 19th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Didn’t they remake these as ‘Pixos’? Are there roofies in that one too?
June 18th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Is it wrong that I want some of these?
I might have to report myself soon….
January 28th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Goddamned nepotistic democrats! Anyway, my feelings on this topic are onefold. I don’t care.
December 3rd, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Jase, the rallies in Tianamen square werent all that focused on democracy, it was a marginal complaint/demand of the protesters at best. Tianamen square was really focusing on protesting nepotism, and the western world completely overhyped the marginal mention of democracy maybe helping end nepotism and blew it up to look like the whole rally was about democracy.
BTW, I doubt Democracy helps with nepotism at all, since politicians can still use their powers in favor of their family and friends.
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:34 am
I am amused by how this toy was awarded “2007 Toy of the Year” when it looks quite…lame.
December 3rd, 2007 at 7:22 am
The news here in Australia repoted that a 10 year old girl and her baby sister ate like sixty of these beads. The strange thing though, they made a big deal of how sick the older girl was and barely mentioned the baby. This leads to the conclusion that a “normal” (they interviewed the girl) decided to eat almost 60 plastic beads while at the same time preventing her baby sister from doing the same.
I don’t quite think that Charles Darwin was thinking of this sort of behaviour when he was talking about natural selection, but I’m pretty sure it still counts.
As for the manufacturers, China has imprisoned people for much less. Remember the pro-democracy rallies at Tiananmen Square in 1989, where they massacred between 200 and 10 000. Depending on who you ask, the NATO estimate is 6000.
December 2nd, 2007 at 4:06 pm
Wait, so more importantly, where does one acquire this defective toy?
To make sure they don’t fall into the hands of children, of course…
December 2nd, 2007 at 2:47 pm
Can we just nuke them into the stone age and forget this all happened already?
December 2nd, 2007 at 12:22 am
i think what they meant by “hurting ‘made in china’ label” is that they are sorry and have disgraced the country. you gotta think about the cultural and language barrier with those guys.
November 30th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Ahh…I was wondering why I saw all the soccer moms running out of Kay-Bee with armloads of these things.
November 30th, 2007 at 11:28 am
Uh….i want some.
November 30th, 2007 at 8:43 am
I dunno if I should laugh or be scared. At the least I’m gonna think twice about anything with the “made in china” label.