I’m not going to lie to you. I had no idea what to blog about today. I hit all my usual sources and nothing. I was about to call my editor, Jack O’Brien, and tell him not to send the package of crystal meth he rewards me with every Monday and Wednesday (he calls it “blogging candy) when suddenly I got an idea. Well, more specifically, my old crime-fighting buddy got an idea, but it was a good one: see what’s cooking on Digg!
And I did just that. Did you know that Digg really seems to like articles in list form? I had no idea.
Anyway, high up on Digg’s list of TV stories was a piece on Children of Men. Apparently, a T.V. series is in the works. This news hit me somewhat strangely. It was sort of like finding out the best steak I’ve ever tasted is now available as a low calorie soft drink. It was kind of like hearing the hottest chick I’d ever seen was now accredited to do my taxes. And it was exactly like hearing a great movie that should never be made into a series was being made into a series.
For those of you in the dark, Children of Men was a phenomenal science fiction picture set in the not too distant future. Infertility has torn through the world and, with no forthcoming generation to inherit the earth, the place has kind of gone to hell. Y’know, like the way you acted towards your high school teachers after you were accepted to college. (Or the way Dan O’Brien is acting towards his college professors right now since he sold the rights to his new book, Benjamin Franklin Used To Fart A Lot And Other Jokes I Learned From Howard Zinn).
I mean, maybe a series will work, but I don’t want to chance it. Children of Men is one of my all time favorite movies. Michael Caine’s performance made me cry. (Shut up! I was so distracted by his quality acting that I stepped in a bear trap.) Julianne Moore was great. And Clive Owen was so damn good and appealing that I’m pretty sure I lost my grasp on heterosexuality halfway through the flick.
But I just don’t see any of that happening with a TV show. For one, Michael Caine’s character is dead. Also, Juliane Moore’s character is dead. And lastly, and this may be a minor point, I’m pretty sure Clive Owen’s character is dead too.
Another reason it won’t work? The curse of Logan’s Run. Is there such a curse? Of course, there is, I just wrote it down and you read it, didn’t you? Logan’s Run was a fairly successful Sci Fi movie from the 70’s starring Michael York. But I think the spin off series only ran 3 episodes. The shows share some common ground: Logan’s Run was set in an apocalyptic future where there were no old people. Children of Men? Just the opposite. No young people. Does that mean that Children of Men will have the opposite luck when it comes to how long the series runs? Of course, not. That’s stupid. Besides, there’s that curse. Weren’t you listening?
Anyway, maybe I’m wrong. Anyone more optimistic about this show?
Check out some more Gladstone over HERE and OVER HERE.
Last 5 posts by HBN
- What's G-Stone Been Up To? (or Tips For A Great 2009) - January 5th, 2009
- HBN Says Goodbye - November 24th, 2008
- CNN Thinks Gift Cards Are Complicated (or Contest Winners, Rankings and preparing for the end) - November 17th, 2008
- Twilight Looks Like Crap (or Announcing the Hate By Numbers Contest) - November 10th, 2008
- Japanese Cat Saves Local Economy (Or What Would Hate By Numbers Look Like Without Hate) - November 3rd, 2008
December 27th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
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November 12th, 2008 at 12:21 am
I think the IDEA of the show is what has the TV makers interested. It’s not like they want to revive the dead characters and replace the people playing them with people from the D-List (one can only hope). I’m not really a fan of the post-apocalyptic genre myself, but I think the idea would translate well to television. Children of Men left some unanswered questions in regard to the political/social construct of its world. Like the bit where they say that the pregnant lady’s baby would be taken away and given to a rich couple, for example. I would also like to see the colony where the young mother and her baby (I assume) end up, and what, if anything the rest of the world knows about that place.
So I think it could be a great show, as long as they don’t do anything so retarded as resurrect dead characters.
October 12th, 2008 at 12:31 am
I knew it,I knew it,I shoulda bet the farm that some kinda “trendy chemical aid”is involved in the production of cracked.怠赳
August 31st, 2008 at 11:53 pm
children of men… a movie i mostly remember for the scene where the guy on the motorcycle gets taken out by a car door
but no, it was a great movie, and i cant see a tv series working :S
June 25th, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Movies I would rather see being made into a TV series than children of men( I actually have no fucking idea if I’m serious or not):
Independence Day
Clockwork Orange
Blues Brothers
The Matrix
The Happening
Jaws
and…Carlitos Way.
Lets see them put series plots to that shit!
May 18th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
Oh man, this is one of my all time favorite movies. As a work of art, as a warning. I actually cried a little. The director (forget his name, sorry) is great, and I loved the acting. Honestly people who hate this movie are probably pricks who can’t afford breast surgery and take it out and masterpieces, or Napoleon, that asshole who lead the French that one time. Either way, fuck you guys.
May 6th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Killing whales is one thing, but to do it in graphic, close-up slow-motion is another
April 18th, 2008 at 11:43 pm
would that be high pitched and womanly?
April 10th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
Or a “Neil/Brkl-esque” manner?
April 10th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
All in favor of whaling (spelling?) on Yacoob in an epic, 300-esque manner?
April 9th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
central heating installationwhen it comes to replacing the system in their homes. Northerngasheating replacement system is proving to be the top choice in the central heating installation replacement market today - for clearly obvious reasons.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:44 am
I agree with all of the that. The definition of science fiction might become a semantic debate.
April 5th, 2008 at 4:38 am
Gladstone,
Clearly we have an accord about the general brilliance that is Children of Men, but I dare say that this movie is NOT science fiction.
They never really delve into the science behind humanity’s sudden infertility, or even begin to explain how Kee miraculously conceived.
I see COM as more of a tale of survival and hope. And of making sacrifices, not out of nobility or heroism, but because it is absolutely essential, which is depicted visually very well (Clive doesn’t even have time to find freaking SHOES. That’s how desperate the situation is). The most moving characters in the movie (Clive, Caine, the landlady, etc.) are the ones who truly realize what’s at stake, and who are willing to do whatever is necessary to protect the child, and thus the future of mankind.
Jesus Clive Owen Christ, I could go on all day about how great this movie is. I promise I’ll stop being so long-winded.
April 4th, 2008 at 10:56 am
so uh…
Battlestar Galactica season 4 in 10 frakkin hours
April 4th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Gentlemen, I already told you: Dancing With The Children of Men.
April 4th, 2008 at 8:17 am
Andy, the logical choise would be Grandchildren of Men. Duh…
April 4th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Gladstone, how many science fiction movies affect you emotionally? Did you not read that I cried at Howard the Duck?
Actually, I kind of cried at Deep Impact, when the mother gives the teenage Leelee the baby. They were manly tears, though, composed of malt liquor and repressed emotion.
April 4th, 2008 at 7:02 am
Ah, yes, Children of Men, I remember it like it was only eighteen months ago. I thought it was very Orwellian but lacked a certain pizazz. But more importantly, what will the series be called? Children of Women? Children of Children of Men? Children Of Men 2: The Revenge?
April 4th, 2008 at 6:21 am
Agree to everthing Brice42 except I don’t think we need a new Bond right now. I liked Casino Royale.
I loved everything about the movie, but for me the scene that did it was Caine euthanizing his wife. He says he keeps the stuff to kill rats, but we realize that he is her sole support in the world and he had to provide for her painless death if anything should happen to him. Just that destroys me. Add to that, that he actually does it before the cops come, gets me more. Add to that, that with his wife now dead, he doesn’t have to worry about himself anymore and can tell the man to go fuck himself, well, I’m getting choked up right now even writing this.
and with the baby scene, yes I believed everyone’s awe, but the part that tore me up was the landlady beating the guard to save the baby.
Oh fuck, I love this movie. Nothing has ever affected me as emotionally. How many science fiction movies affect you emotionally? That is a huge achievement.
April 4th, 2008 at 1:11 am
“Children Of Men” was monumental. It was one of the most well-done glimpses of a screwed-up future that didn’t involve zombies (don’t get me wrong, I love a good zombie flick), nuclear weapons, melting polar ice caps, or Russians.
Also, very intense and very LONG shots really put you there next to Clive (who better be the next Bond, or I will shit things) as he literally carries humanity’s only hope in his arms.
You guys were right about the scene when he leaves the building with the baby. In that world, it would be akin to seeing Jesus Christ. Who I now imagine looking just like Clive Owen.
April 3rd, 2008 at 11:32 pm
I. . . I really like Clive Owen.
April 3rd, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Find out what that *something* was and whether or not it worked in Benjamin Franklin Used To Fart A Lot And Other Jokes I Learned From Howard Zinn, in stores this Fall!
Howard Zinn tells jokes? NOW we’re in for it!
April 3rd, 2008 at 12:01 pm
brkl, Neil– stop this senseless bickering. Can’t you see that Gladstone is tearing you apart? Don’t let that monster win; you’re too much in love to let him come between you.
Unless you’re swingers, then by all means let him come between you.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:18 am
I loved Clive in COM. I thought he was merely fine in Sin City. I fell asleep in the first 5 minutes of Closer.
April 3rd, 2008 at 9:05 am
Neil, of course it’s Clive’s fault. Loosening of the bowel is something that happens to people when you kill them. That’s why people generally do the whole rape-murder thing the other way around, but of course Clive would fuck up even a simple thing like that.
And he sucked in Sin City too.
April 2nd, 2008 at 9:22 pm
brkl, it’s not clive’s fault that your mom’s anus is so stretched out and lacking elasticity that he can’t feel anything. Shit, he probably did her a favor killing her, that could not be comfortable walking around like that. She probably couldn’t even control her bowel movements anymore. They’d just slide out randomly while she was walking around. It’s just sad, dude.
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:54 pm
The movie was terrible, sub par acting, lackluster thought, cheesy scenes of stoic love. If anything it was a good joke.. by joke I mean complete waste of time and money.
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:44 pm
Aw, who am I kidding? I cried at Howard the Duck. The poor fowl never made it home… it’s so sad.
April 2nd, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Got to say that I hated that film. The book wasn’t great either. Both have some clever and intriguing ideas but don’t explore them deeply enough.
I will say that Alfonso Cuaron rocks though. Prisoner of Azkaban was visually stunning.
Clive Owen, on the other hand, is a wooden fuck who couldn’t act his way out an arbitraily-chosen easy-to-act-out-of thing. He’s just Keanu Reeves all over again, one good role (Sin City) then the same wooden expressions constantly.
April 2nd, 2008 at 2:40 pm
I loved Children of Men. I was clinically depressed after seeing it, but I loved it when I watched it. Oh and Hannah Montana is responsible for mad6798j and Frank’s abilities to judge acting ability. I think it is responsible for their movie taste too.
April 2nd, 2008 at 1:35 pm
[...] Son of Children of Men On Digg’s list of TV stories was a piece on Children of Men. Apparently, a T.V. series is in the works. This news hit me somewhat strangely. It was sort of like finding out the best steak I’ve ever tasted is now available as a low calorie soft drink. (tags: scifi) [...]
April 2nd, 2008 at 10:55 am
I bet that even this shocking act of murder and necrophilia would leave Clive Owen completely expressionless, like Elijah Wood’s character in Sin City.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:51 am
I cried at that scene in The Terminator when Kyle Reese died.
April 2nd, 2008 at 8:46 am
CoMa7oSe, you pussy.
April 2nd, 2008 at 5:53 am
neil and brkl. you rock for playing along.
CMa7oSe, i’ve never been more choked up by any movie.
April 2nd, 2008 at 3:29 am
I will admit, at the risk of sounding like a pussy, that the scene where they carried the baby out of the building made me cry.
Than again, the ending of the Mist made me sob like a baby.
April 1st, 2008 at 11:17 pm
The series would be more about the world that the characters live in, because it is based on the book (which highlights that world) and not the movie.
That being said, who’s to say that the movie people will even be in it? Or that it’ll simply retell the same story before/during/or after the movie? I want to see what happens to in a world like this (AND WHY), as opposed to the rare glimpses you get in the film.
April 1st, 2008 at 10:03 pm
brkl, that’s cool cuz clive owen would totally come in an save her and kill your mom with a carrot and then do ‘er in the butt.
April 1st, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Neil, my mom could totally beat up your mom.
April 1st, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Yeah brkl and also, Neil says your mom’s a whore. WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE START A FLAME WAR ON MY BLOG WITH SOMEONE BESIDES ME!
PS, Neil, brkl is putting the moves on your old lady right now!
April 1st, 2008 at 6:05 pm
brkl, i take your attack on Clive Owen as fighting words. You don’t deserve him. He’s the new Harrison Ford.
April 1st, 2008 at 6:03 pm
I hated all the harry potter movies. Also he should at least have been nominated for children of men (if he wasn’t, that is - i don’t really remember) and not even for the entire movie. Just for the scene where they walk out of the building with the baby and everyone stops fighting and then as soon as they walk away it continues. That scene was just visually stunning. I think i just got a chubby just thinking about it.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:03 pm
This is all an April fool’s joke, right? These series usually don’t even last when they’re based on shitty movies for stupid people (Blade: The Series, anyone?), so I don’t know how they’re going to make a series based on a movie mainly enjoyed by people with triple-digit IQs.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:37 pm
I think the series might follow the grown baby’s efforts trying to find someone in the world to have sex with that isn’t a good 30 years older.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Also, Children of Men the series would feature a more in depth look at the increasingly common gay lifestyle of the world in which the characters live. It would be a mix of Children of Men and Queer as Folk.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:23 pm
I have Children of Men taped, I guess I ought to watch it.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Children of Men was great. It came along at the right time in my movie-going experience.
I enjoyed Clive Owen’s performance, and I thought the filmmakers did a great job capturing the mood of a world with no kids.
But a show would suck. Knowing more about the characters or their world would actually work against a deeper enjoyment of the film.
April 1st, 2008 at 11:52 am
It could star Luke Perry!
April 1st, 2008 at 11:36 am
I saw that movie. Not the best movie ever, but it was pretty good.
However, it was a story. Beginning, middle, end(okay, somewhat make-up-what-happens-next ending but an ending). A television series would be atrocious. I can’t even fathom the extent at which they are going to mess up the story.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:28 am
I took his lack of emotion to be the result of being a shell of a man. A ghost of a man, truly defeated by the death of his son and the decay of the world.
April 1st, 2008 at 9:26 am
Children of Men was a very good movie and Michael Caine was great in it. Clive Owen, on the other hand, was really, really bad. Everyone I know has varying intonation and expressions, why can’t he?
April 1st, 2008 at 8:07 am
Visually impressive
Near future
Dark future
Still somewhat based in reality
I think those are the comparisons, but I agree, it never occurred to me to think of Blade Runner.
16 episodes? Wow. I guess they didn’t hear about the curse.
April 1st, 2008 at 7:38 am
I actually own the Logan’s Run series on DVD, and the movie too. Apparently neither of them is too faithfully adapted from the book. And there were about 16 episodes, actually.
Children of Men was a great movie, but I’m mystified by the constant comparisons to Blade Runner. I love both movies, but they aren’t comparable in any way.
April 1st, 2008 at 3:18 am
A show with only old people and everything looks like hell ? So new seasons of Golden Girls get produced ?
@ChildrenOfMen: Awesome Film. The near to the end Warscene always gives me the shivers.
April 1st, 2008 at 2:02 am
That was all pretty much the movie.(Which is a pretty good flick)
In the series the basically drove around in a some kind of future car with hammer and sickle on the front of it and looked for Sanctuary. Donald Moffat played an android that rode around with the two runners. That was about it.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:53 am
Thanks for the feedback.
Neil, word.
The scene where Caine gives the man the final fuck you after euthanizing his wife gives me the chills. And I even love the way Clive smokes in the movie. And eats. And walks. Alfonso Cuaron should have won Best Director (and yet, am I the only one who didn’t like Prisoner of Azkaban?)
I was even younger than you Glendoor and I can’t remember what memories are move-based or series based. I remember two guys wrestling about something in a room with a knocked over American flag. And red crystals falling off palms and keys in water? I also remember and old guy in the LIncolcn Memorial with cats, but I’m pretty sure that’s the movie.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:41 am
Even if by the grace of god, since it is based on the book and not the movie, the series turns out to be halfway decent, it will still sucks because it will never live up to the movie. It could be the best tv series ever and it won’t live up to the movie because it won’t have Clive Owen and Michael Caine.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:39 am
This is the worst news since Boondock Saints 2!
April 1st, 2008 at 1:32 am
Oh and I liked the Logan Run series but I was about eight when it was on and I don’t think it has held up very well. It use to come on Fridays.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:31 am
Fisticuffs is actually a very uncomfortable sexual position.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:39 am
Not to mention Children of Men has a fairly convincing and open world, and you’ve got all sorts of dramatic potential with the Human Project and a whole world of total clusterfuck. And its not like the movie exhausted the basic themes either.
I wouldn’t have thought Stargate could have spawned two successful series, but it did. You can argue about the quality of the shows, but SG1 lasted longer than any single Star Trek series. So its not like its unprecedented.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:34 am
Who knows. The movie was better than the book; maybe the series will be good too.
And CN— if you are seriously trying to say that Battlestar Galactica is one of the worst shows on TV, I pity your ass. Go watch some more Everyone Loves Raymond reruns.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:32 am
…..
I would have to disagree with you on Battlestar Galactica.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:02 am
The truth is, that there are bad men out there who love to give great movies brutal hate-fistings.
I’m sorry you had to find out this way.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:13 pm
I’d have a degree of hope for a Children of Men series if it wasn’t being produced by Eick. BSG is one of the absolute worst shows on television. If Children of Men lasts, it’ll be riddled with characters who change on a whim and plot twists so pants-shittingly absurd and nonsensical that you laugh until you cry.
March 31st, 2008 at 9:57 pm
It’s being EP’d by David Eick. Let’s hope it’s the David Eick of the new Battlestar Galactica and not the David Eick of Bionic Woman
March 31st, 2008 at 8:39 pm
I’m with you Gladstone, Children of Men was great and it should never be a series.
But I think the coolest thing about that movie was the camera. The movie was filmed in some scenes like a video game with just one camera following him.
And Clive Owen.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:30 pm
I’m all for a series as long as they center on those kittens what were on that farm. I always wondered what happened to them, the poor little dears.
March 31st, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Great, funny stuff Gladstone; and I fully agree, Children of Men was one of the best movies i’ve seen in the cinema for a very long time, a series is an abomination and should never see the light of day.
Some weaker mortals will make a Hannah Montana joke about that last comment, but to be honest im getting really sick of them, isnt it time they went the way of Ali G, Austin Powers and Anchorman quotes?
March 31st, 2008 at 6:40 pm
Frank, you just reminded me. Total weight loss at 4 pounds. 8 more to be happy. 18 to be irresistibly sexy.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:39 pm
I’m sorry, that was unforgivably low. Be assured, Gladstone, I quell my often overwhelming admiration for you with unnecessary conflict and large amounts of heroin. Mostly heroin.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:39 pm
The series would be allright by me if they just replayed that motorcycle vs. car chase sequence every week.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:20 pm
To be fair, they’re adapting the book into a tv series, not the movie (so people dying in the movie doesn’t matter for the show). I guess the movie wasn’t very faithful to the book, so this will be a somewhat different story. I’m still not very optimistic.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Yeah, I was just screwing with you. Michael Caine’s cool. Dude’s in a Batman movie, that makes him okay. Sorry if I gave you multiple heart attacks… compounded by your IMMENSE WEIGHT!
The last laugh is mine!
March 31st, 2008 at 6:08 pm
“Children of Men” is being turned into a series? Clearly there’s only one mind diabolical enough, evil enough, and mad enough to even attempts such a scheme . . . the mind of Hannah Montana!
Hannah, of all the ways for you to prove your love for Doom, this is definitely at the top of the list! Keep it coming, my love!
March 31st, 2008 at 5:46 pm
I can’t even argue. I’m stunned.
…fisiticuffs has an “i”?
March 31st, 2008 at 5:41 pm
It’s Fisticuffs. You forgot the “I”.
Personally, I found Michael Caine’s acting quite shallow as I watched this movie. How he’s respected as a more than mediocre actor is beyond me.
March 31st, 2008 at 5:36 pm
A series?
A series?
Oh gods, creativity is dead.
March 31st, 2008 at 4:41 pm
mad6798j,
I have smoke coming out of my ears right now like those old-timey cartoons!
How dare you. Fistacuffs at dawn!
March 31st, 2008 at 4:34 pm
Children of Men was not good. It had a good premise, and some very tense scenes, but the acting and dialogue were pretty horrible.
March 31st, 2008 at 3:33 pm
It’s not going to work, it just won’t work at all.
March 31st, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Rutherford B. Hayes, (one of history’s most controversial presidents), used to routinely shove *something* into his rectum because he thought it would be helpful in his ongoing effort to develop X-Ray vision.
Find out what that *something* was and whether or not it worked in Benjamin Franklin Used To Fart A Lot And Other Jokes I Learned From Howard Zinn, in stores this Fall!