Here on the Cracked Blog, it’s often in our interest to mock celebrities. We call it “our beat,” because usually reading articles about celebrities makes you want to beat them. But frankly, it can get stale. It’s pretty easy to do–most celebrities are terrible people or incredibly screwed up–and after a while you just start feeling sad for them. That, and you realize you’re spending many hundreds of hours of your life writing about people you wouldn’t cross the street to spit on.
But occasionally, that old magic comes back. Some video or news item reminds you why you started doing this in the first place. Billy Bob Thornton’s interview on the CBC radio show Q was such an event for me. In fact, the YouTube video of the interview officially moved him from my list of celebrities who I wouldn’t mind seeing eaten by sharks to my list of celebrities I am actively trying to get sharks to eat.
In honor of such a grand occasion, I sent away for (and promptly received) the DVD copy of said interview. Imagine my surprise when I found out the DVD version came with a never-before-seen subtext caption track! It’s hard to explain exactly what that is in words, so why don’t you just go ahead and watch it for yourselves. And thank you Billy Bob, for inspiring genuine hate in this jaded old blogger’s heart.
You can also follow him on Twitter! But do it now, before he gets too self-conscious about promoting it at the end of his posts.
This entry was posted on Monday, April 20th, 2009 at 4:00 am and is filed under Billy Bob Thornton, Celebrities, Douchebags, Interviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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November 12th, 2009 at 12:04 am
is that unknown Hinson in the background? Why is he wasting his time with Billy-Bob Thorton?
November 3rd, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Awesome one Jian! Hope more people will listen to Q now!
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:19 am
Thank you Jesus it’s back up!!
October 26th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
wow…I always thought he seemed like he’d be a douche, but now I know for sure.
October 19th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Just…thank you.
October 11th, 2009 at 11:34 am
FIX PLEASE THIS MADE ME CRY WITH ITS FUNNY!!!
September 28th, 2009 at 4:37 am
swaim. i’m sure you’re probably sitting somewhere in an office picking gunk out of your teeth with a bic pen right now… but you must fix this video glitch. i can only pout and compulsively click a dead link and try to remember how funny this video is for so long before a piece of me dies inside. you see swaim, this is a really funny video. so funny in fact that i forwarded it to people i work with. my credibility tanked when they all told me ‘that video you sent out doesn’t work’. for me, swaim, please fix it.
September 27th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Fix it Fix it Fix it Fix it!!
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:10 am
PLEASE!!! FIX!!!
AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
September 19th, 2009 at 5:15 pm
This video is one of my favorite things on Cracked. Please fix it.
September 14th, 2009 at 5:20 am
Biggest tosspot ever.
August 22nd, 2009 at 11:10 pm
When I you guys going to fix this video…its a classic and needs to be fixed so people can watch
August 15th, 2009 at 3:28 pm
Swaim! SWAAAAAAAAAAAAIM!! The video isn’t loading! DO SOMETHING.
July 23rd, 2009 at 7:59 pm
THIS VIDEO ISN’T FUCKING LOADING YOU WORTHLESS TWAT WAFFLES. GET THE TRAINED MONKEYS YOU CALL AN IT DEPARTMENT ON IT.
July 20th, 2009 at 5:44 pm
Billy Bob is a blithering cuntwaffle ’nuff said.
July 10th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
I wanna watch this video again!
Why for is it broken?
July 6th, 2009 at 8:56 pm
Fix this damn video you fucksticks.
July 6th, 2009 at 2:50 am
Shit.
June 30th, 2009 at 7:35 am
DUde this neeeeeeds to get fixed. SWAIM HELP US!!!
June 28th, 2009 at 9:08 am
Is this ever going to be fixed?
June 28th, 2009 at 9:07 am
ok for real, is this ever going to be fixed. Its too funny not to be.
June 18th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
ARGH! all them Google results go back to THIS PAGE!!!
Maybe this search gets us a copy or two?
http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=billy%20bob%20Q%20interview%20subtext&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wv#
June 18th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=What+They+Really+Meant+Billy+Bob+Thornton
June 18th, 2009 at 10:38 am
That was fucking hilarious!
That poor, poor bastard.
June 16th, 2009 at 2:38 pm
This is unacceptable, fix the damn video.
June 12th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Please bring this back!!!
June 9th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
This is one of the most triumphantly hilarious things I’ve ever seen. Revive it!! There are many more people in the world who still need to see it! Like my Canadian friend!
June 9th, 2009 at 2:14 am
This video is far too good to have it disappear like this. Bring it back! Rise from your grave!
June 7th, 2009 at 5:31 pm
Swaim, fix the video with one of your many superpowers; the natives are getting restless…
June 7th, 2009 at 1:43 pm
ya whats up, the vid doesnt work!
June 1st, 2009 at 4:05 pm
wtf why isnt the video loading?
May 20th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
I will admit to having a mini attention span, and as such, if the video is longer than 30 seconds, I usually don’t make it past that mark. This one, I watched the whole thing. That was brilliant.
May 14th, 2009 at 9:52 pm
[...] bill bob thornton tantrum [...]
May 14th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
LMAO
“If we complain, he hits us.”
OMG, LOL
May 13th, 2009 at 11:20 am
Hilllarius
May 10th, 2009 at 5:29 am
“its like auschwitz with less hope of being rescued”
best part XD
this was sooo funny, i was literally LOL-ing as always when micheal swaim does an artical
May 9th, 2009 at 7:26 pm
ahah omg wtf billy bob
May 9th, 2009 at 9:20 am
“Which button fills the room with poison gas? Even if I die too, that’s fine.”
Best part.
May 9th, 2009 at 12:09 am
Swaim, thy name is genius.
May 7th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Obviously hes on a bad mushroom trip or something of the sort…… or maybe he thought he was shooting a scene for Bad Santa 2.
May 7th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
jesus christ, what the hell is wrong with this guy?
May 5th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
Ummmm, I never been so unsure if I’ve been deceived or not before. If the intent of this was to not show anything having of relevance to the title…Epic Success. If not, then I’m just confused…
May 5th, 2009 at 11:29 am
Hey, what happened to the video?
May 4th, 2009 at 8:57 am
I have to say, as devout Christian, Jesus this is your last chance. Any more of Willy-Nob Crapton and his Crotchmasters and I shall be worshiping the damned goat.
May 3rd, 2009 at 6:52 pm
What utter BS. Why not spend the entire interview being a dirty douche nozzle and then to finish things right… forget your f’ing drums when you bitched all interview long about wanting to be taken seriously as a musician?!?!!?!?!
May 3rd, 2009 at 5:58 pm
i hadn’t heard of this until now but really. what the fuck is wrong with billy bob. i don’t understand how someone can be that big of a fucktard
May 2nd, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Billy bob is an ass hat why are famous people so weird?
May 1st, 2009 at 12:38 am
If Angelina liked this guy enough to marry him, then maybe there’s hope for me. Dare to dream.
April 30th, 2009 at 9:24 am
What a fucking fist-magnet. I hope he dies from an aids-related drive-by.
April 30th, 2009 at 7:47 am
Subtext caption track…
Genius.
April 29th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Billy-Bob knows (first cock) what Angelina’s box and asshole feel like… nuff said.
He is the shit!
http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=13&catid=9&sku=ENGL-CD00379
April 29th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
I’d love if there was some way you could bust his head open while he was still alive and take that turd-shaped nugget out of his brain that causes him to be such an arrogant, pompous fuck-stool. They say ‘never shit where you eat’, and when your public image is the thing that keeps you employed, it’s a good idea to heed that advice. I think he might have just forced out a huge American serving of nannas ego-gravy all over his plate.
April 28th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
I used to Like Billy Bob … now I think he’s just an asshole.
April 28th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Billy Bob just invented a new art form.
April 28th, 2009 at 12:12 am
hahahaha, billy bob is such an asshole, and thats why i love the cunt. haha.
ADD
http://www.myspace.com/isleepyoudance
April 27th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
What the hell does any of this have to do with US vs. Canada? BBT is just a asshole. They come from every country.
April 27th, 2009 at 10:05 am
WHAT IS HE ON?
And will he send some to Michigan?
Kudo’s to the interviewer.. I would have ended the interview in the first 2 minutes.. And the other band members? I wonder if they kicked his *** all the way back to the car for acting like such a moron?
April 27th, 2009 at 9:28 am
The guy doing the interview is incredible - I think I would have had to tell Billy Bob to go F himself and that we could do a better show with some “mashed potatoes and gravy” instead of his nonsensical blabberings. He’s on somehting really good I reckon, mmmm hmmm.
April 27th, 2009 at 9:28 am
He’s playing everyone…look at all the play he’s getting good or bad..
April 26th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Holy fuck. The hypocrisy is just fucking unbelievable. Billy-Bob didn’t want his movie career to be mentioned in the context of his awful ‘music,’ and then threw that pure, prima-donna Hollywood hissy fit?
Hey Billy! If you were the singer of a real new and shitty band, not a celebrity, any host would’ve kicked you off their show. Stay out of my country. Your bandmates are cool; they at least had the good grace to look embarrassed by your tantrum.
Props to the host for holding it together in the face of that ridiculous bullshit.
April 26th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
yeppers. once again Canada show the u.s.a whats up boys. I’m proud of the host. i feel sorry the band too having to take that from billybob.
April 26th, 2009 at 6:12 am
wow what an a-hole. sorry about that, canada.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Haha, this is lovely. It’s quite an interview that instantly fills you with respect and sympathy for Jian Ghomeshi. He held up like a stereotypical Canadian. But oh Lord, poor bandmates-of-Billy-Bob. Poor things.
April 25th, 2009 at 7:52 am
What is he high??
April 24th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
[...] The Billy Bob Thornton bitchfest of a radio interview. Seriously, what is his deal? I’m surprised the host didn’t throttle him with a stray cable. [...]
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:37 pm
I love how he refuses to answer questions about music and then has a go at the bloke saying that he’s focusing on his acting…except BB is the only one bringing it up. what magically retarded logic.
it reminds me of this sketch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDyuz0zFyv0
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:17 pm
The raging bore-tantrum that is Billee Bawb! YAWN.
April 23rd, 2009 at 8:47 am
[...] You know that Billy Bob Thornton radio interview where he was a total dickhead? Now you can watch it with subtext caption track. Really, really [...]
April 23rd, 2009 at 7:18 am
Wow. Move over Kanye West, we’ve got a new voice of a generation.
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:47 am
What a massive jacktard! I’m SO happy you pointed this out for everyone to laugh about.
Hey Billy, when you’re playing alone in Vegas two years from now, I’ll be sure to buy a half priced ticket to come laugh my balls off at your total lack of musical talent.
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:36 am
Added flashy, voluptuous new numbers at the end of my user name. Ahh the splendor.
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:14 am
SWAIM,
Not only was that a stimulating article, it stirred a glimmer of hope and excitement in my pet sharks doll-like eyes. Your work is delicious, not “Klondike bar delicious,” but close, really chocolate crunchy shell close. Now that I’ve wet myself, here is a beat from a different, er, drummer.
This reminds me of something completely unrelated I wrote a while back… (cue old early 90’s screen-jittery flashback effect)
The Fartist
Ebay user McAfrodelight Has wandered into the realm of skin fart music composition with his unique instrument. Ass breath hip hop beats.
“Nothing beats the tight bass like an ass with bad morning breath” Says Delight, who reports that he eats everything from Uncooked beef to week old bratwurst to fill his “palette.”
Delight has been playing the Gas Hop music, a genre he invented, for 5 years, and he shows no signs of slowing down.
“When I’m beat boxing at the Fling Dinger downtown (a nightclub) nobody realizes that I’m farting the beats, not using my mouth” says Delight. Unfortunately, after that particularly extended bout of gas passage, Delight caused two dozen out of the clubs 400 attendees to pass out.
“In this game theres risks, and if people gonna come see my ish, feel my ill ish, they gonna smell my ish!” Says Delight over a bowl of Hungry Man Spicy Chili.
I asked him a few questions about his profession.
“So Delight, you say you are a skin fartist as well as the traditional fartist, but your farts are always the real thing. Is this a tactic to lure people closer to you, or do you not use skin farts to complement your gas?”
“Reggie, I’ve been a fartist for a long time now, since you was a little poop stinking up a mans pantalones. People’s not ready for the Delightskin fart, fart fart combo. They just isn’t ready yet to feel the thunder!”
“I feel ya. How do you create that hi hat sound?”
“Slapping my butt cheeks together, how else would I do it?”
“I have no idea. When do you get inspired?”
“Usually… Usually when I’m on the can, just thinking. I feel this surge of creatif energy, and just drop a beat right there in the turd stadium. I love the reverb in the bowl, and usually record my album with a mic stickin in the toilet between my legs. I do my illest ish when I’m howling serious gas farts into my toilet. That shit is explosive, yo.”
“That is profound. Insiders say you once farted on a mans head until he went deaf. What is your ruling on that accusation?”
“Man, he was all up in my behind while I was ‘freestylin!’ I thought he was trying to ass ass inate me. What’m I suppose to do, let ‘im?”
“In that case, bravo, you are a great American”
Delight clearly has a lot on his plate, and will be further inspired to create fartracks this upcoming summer. Check out his new album, “Farts in a wind tunnel: speed cheeks and freaky deeks.” Available now.”
April 23rd, 2009 at 6:04 am
Dude what the fuck was he on?
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:23 pm
fucking genius!
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:56 pm
ROFLMAO & NPM (…. & nearly peed myself) thank you
April 22nd, 2009 at 3:35 pm
Yes, but who can expect someone named Billy Bob to have any matters whatsoever?
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Why do famous people have to act like HUGE DICKS!? Well done to the announcer for holding his own…..he shold have gotten a raise after that interview……
April 22nd, 2009 at 2:00 pm
What a dumbass. Music historian. Hahahaha. Take your second-rate band and go find someone who wants to hear it, because YOU are NOT anything special.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Hey! I was looking for a site to send BBT some (polite) hate mail as an indignant Canadian,
and stumbled upon your site. After laughing my head off, I am leaving all warm and fuzzy and feeling somewhat superior and willing to leave Billy Bob to his pathetic life. Thanks for that!
Colleen
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Haha, nice, keep it up.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:44 am
This is truly precious! I, too, will be praying and hoping that that jerkoff thorton swan dives into a shark tank soon! His band sucks and can follow him in for all I care. Thanks for the video!
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:41 am
@Jilliterate…You are right, I don’t know how interviews are set up or how they work, but the point is I don’t need to. BBT didn’t want to have the conversation. Unprofessional and rude of him? Yes. Was he on the air to boost rating for the radio station? YES (if the radio station doesn’t care about who their guests are because they are number one, I’m sure they’ll be inviting be on next). Is BBT the worst person in the world because he was a jerk? NO!!! All he did was make himself and the radio host look silly.
Let’s keep this in context: everyone is railing against BBT calling him a butthat (or variations of that). You know who are the real (alleged) butthats? The pirate who was just captured for trying to hijack a ship. Or that medical student who robbed and killed women in Boston. I would be much more enthused to hear defamatory things said about them, rather than some Hollywood dude and some radio personality having a tiff.
@Darrell: LOL :). You actually made me laugh out loud. Thanks, you dick sucking cumstain soaked punkass biatch(said in the most positive way, of course
).
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:27 am
Great subtitles. Billy Bob is just pissy that he doesn’t have Angelina Jolie any more and that all his latest movies have bombed. All he has is this sad, sad hillbilly music and three guys who take turns sucking his dick for beer money.
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:23 am
Incidentally, may I just say that BB Thornton is a pathetic, wretched excuse for a waste of human skin. His band is a bad joke, and if he wasn’t a Famous Actor he couldn’t get a gig drumming for a Dead Fucking Hippie Revival Tribute Band.
Fun!
April 22nd, 2009 at 11:20 am
> No need to call names, for differing opinions, right?
Yes there is, asshole.
I’m just kidding, dickface, I actually don’t even know what it was you said, and for all I know I’d have agreed with you. I just can’t think of a situation where calling somebody names isn’t helpful, or at least fun.
Bastard.
April 22nd, 2009 at 10:40 am
@First timer:
Oh, I’m not arguing with the fact that Thorton is clearly just sick of the attention. However, I don’t think you have a grasp of how these interviews work. The host doesn’t just whatever he/she wants — a rider is sent out, and it cleared ahead of time who is to be answering the questions, and where they are supposed to be directed. Ghomeshi isn’t just doing whatever he wants — he’s doing what his producer told him to do ahead of time, and it’s clear that was supposed to be directing all questions at Thorton.
And the term “disc jockey” for Ghomeshi is incorrect. ‘Q’ is an arts and culture show, not a music program. There are no discs to jockey.
April 22nd, 2009 at 8:47 am
@ Jilliterate…I’m not being ignorant. Just stating another point of view (which you-and most people on this page-don’t agree with and that’s fair enough.). No need to call names, for differing opinions, right?
Maybe BBT was tired of answering questions and having attention focused on him; who knows (although I would counter what I just stated with the fact that attention is a price of fame)? He is a human…he’s allowed to get irritated, just like we all do. I’m NOT defending him: I just don’t think what he did was all that bad (and as I stated, in comparison to what Bale did, this doesn’t even rate).
Ok…the DJ’s name is Ghoshemi…I never heard of him. He’s the disc jockey as far as I’m concerned. I don’t care how many listeners he has. He was trying to kiss butt an he came upon someone who didn’t want their butt kissed (at least not by him).
April 22nd, 2009 at 7:39 am
… How can he possibly perform in an entire movie when he can’t understand the question “how long have you been together?”
Puzzling.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:55 am
You know, I love Swaim so much, I’m actually going to unblock ads from this site so I can click them.
April 22nd, 2009 at 4:52 am
It’s so excruciating I can’t even finish watching it… but I’m positive the subtext was brilliant. Well done, Mr Swaim.
April 22nd, 2009 at 1:26 am
I just enjoyed the incredibly pained expressions on the faces of the other band memebers. So, so close to tears.
Alsp, I really really wanted Billy Bob to say ‘Would ask Picasso to sell one of his guitars.”
April 22nd, 2009 at 12:35 am
First timer… said:
“Billy definitely gave the host a hard time, but…the host deserved some of it. It seemed to me that the host basically wanted to talk to Billy and ignore the rest of the group. The host basically thought that by prostrating himself before Billy, he would get the interview and ratings boost from disc jockey heaven…OPPS.”
Don’t be ignorant. Thorton is clearly the front-man for the band, and as is the case with most bands, the front-man normally controls the interview. Likely part of the Boxmasters interview “conditions” were that most questions be directed at Thorton–it’s obvious that Ghomeshi would prefer to be interviewing the other band members, but is directed by his producer to speak with Thorton. It was unfortunate that there was confusion over the difference between questioning Thorton about his acting career, and merely mentioning it as framing for the interview.
And by the way, this isn’t some local “disc jockey,” as you call it–it’s Jian Ghomeshi, and his show, ‘Q’, airs nationally on CBC Radio. He certainly doesn’t need to kiss the ass of a prick like Thorton for ratings, and to be fair, it’s laughable that someone as untalented as Thorton even got booked for Q in the first place. I suppose Ghomeshi has little control over who appears on the show.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:18 pm
[...] The Best AXE Ad Ever (SickPigs) Lolipop Sees The Light (Urlesque) What Billy Bob Really Meant (Cracked) Angelina Strips [nsfw] (IHeartChaos) The Crank Prank (ScreenJunkies) Laughter IS Medicine (Asylum) [...]
April 21st, 2009 at 11:04 pm
[...] http://www.cracked.com/blog/billy-bo…; [...]
April 21st, 2009 at 9:34 pm
This is the fucking funniest thing I have ever seen in so long. The fact that it is mocking one of the world’s top 50 douchebags just makes it even funnier
April 21st, 2009 at 9:22 pm
I just watched the VaginaBrothers (or whatever his band’s name was called ) on the Jimmy Kimmel Show. They suck.
They showed the album cover before he played and I thought there was a couple of hot chicks singing back-up or at least one of them playing bass, but no, it’s all dick. And it all sucks itself.
Good thing Billy Bob was such a bastard or else no on would give a damn. *wonders where Dogstar is*
April 21st, 2009 at 6:40 pm
I think Billy Bob Thornton hates Africa and Brad Pitt!
April 21st, 2009 at 5:51 pm
That is BRILLIANT!
And evidently Billy Bob Thornton had a tiny dick and it makes him insecure. Or he’s batshit crazy. Or both.
April 21st, 2009 at 5:29 pm
oh… my… GOD!
I laughed so hard I nearly peed myself.
Will you marry me?
(by accepting you agree to say something funny no less than 29 times an hour)
April 21st, 2009 at 5:17 pm
That was Swaim’s best entry so far. Loved it, watched it four times.
April 21st, 2009 at 4:18 pm
tearsinmyeyes
i love you swaim
April 21st, 2009 at 2:59 pm
That was possibly the most awesome thing that has ever happened to me. I think my brain is leaking, GTG.
April 21st, 2009 at 2:59 pm
Wow, I now officially hate BBT.
April 21st, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I thought: “I can’t watch that again, it was painful enough the first time”, but you nailed it SWAIM. You nailed it and I watched it all again, the whole shit-vindaloo. And I laughed through the tears and rage.
April 21st, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Have your cake and eat it Billy Bob?
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0410092billybob1.html
April 21st, 2009 at 2:47 pm
“‘Old jaded blogger?’ Blogging has only been around for, what, three years? Get over yourself.”
15+ actually. And he’s a blogger who’s old. Y’know, like in age. (not rly tho)
April 21st, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Im agreeing with aczech, we need that kind of subtext for more, like jacquin pheonix’s interview with letterman.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:48 pm
One of these days Swaim, your material is going to dry up, kind of like how Chuck Liddell’s old ass dried up last Saturday. Bitch.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:37 pm
To those who are sympathetic toward BBT’s request not to mention previous fame in another industry:
A few months back Wired magazine had an ad for the BoxMasters. The gist of the ad was ‘A new band where 1/4 of the members are already famous’
So, he can try and downplay his previous career, but you can’t really have it both ways.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I love you Michael Swain. You’re easily the best web comedian/blogger/whatever I’ve ever read. Never stop doing what you do.
April 21st, 2009 at 12:01 pm
Billy definitely gave the host a hard time, but…the host deserved some of it. It seemed to me that the host basically wanted to talk to Billy and ignore the rest of the group. The host basically thought that by prostrating himself before Billy, he would get the interview and ratings boost from disc jockey heaven…OPPS.
I can see how that can be extremely irritating to Billy and to the rest of the group (even though they seem to take it in stride). It seems clear that if the host could have gotten Billy there under any other pretense, he would have dumped the rest of the band. All he wanted to do was talk to Billy to boost the ratings. I’m sure Billy knew the deal (and if it was discussed before hand that certain subjects would not be broached, that makes the host’s actions more egregious) and didn’t want the host’s ratings riding on the coat tails of his success.
And this is coming from someone who is not a fan of Billy, his music, the genre of music he plays. I’m also not a fan of Hollywood; Americans (I am from the USA) spend WAAYYY too much time worrying an commenting on what Brittany and Paris are doing, instead of reading a book, turning off the tv and communicating with our family. When Bale flips out and embarrasses some poor guy who makes a mistake on set, he deserves all the criticism he gets (and I liked both Batman movies). Billy was a lil arrogant, but not a jerk.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:33 am
Billy Bob is insane. Is the CIA still waterboarding people? I think Billy Bob should be a candidate for that as well. What is wrong with this guy? Why is he acting like such a douche to the radio host. Have some self respect you dumb redneck. He was great in Bound By Honor though.
April 21st, 2009 at 11:02 am
He also clearly doesn’t know what the word “trajectory” means. There was more brainpower in BBT’s Ming the Merciless shirt than in his head.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:54 am
I wonder who’d win in a fist fight: Michael Swaim or Billy Bob?
My die is cast with Billy Bob, if only because Swaim’s comically large testicles would present a huge target and Billy Bob would likely go for the illegal low blows.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:45 am
Billy bob, dont fuck with canadians. theyll come over to your house and rearriange your furniture.
April 21st, 2009 at 10:44 am
Wow. i mean, wow. that was brilliant. can i get a subtext feature for everything?
April 21st, 2009 at 10:38 am
I particularly like the moment when he is asked, “Well, that’s part of your trajectory, isn’t it?” BBT’s look clearly says “I don’t know what that word means, so I’ll just shake my head.”
April 21st, 2009 at 9:52 am
[...] of hours of your life writing about people you wouldnt cross the street to spit on you.Link:http://www.cracked.com/blog/billy-bob-goes-ballistic-with-subtext-titles/ Posted by Andy B at [...]
April 21st, 2009 at 9:32 am
My dick just wiggled
April 21st, 2009 at 9:21 am
What a prick. I hope his career takes a dump. I will certainly make efforts to avoid any production he touches
April 21st, 2009 at 8:48 am
This it the first Swaim video i`ve been glued to. I couldn`t stop watching…
Take that faux-hillbilly shithead down a peg
April 21st, 2009 at 8:42 am
“You’re like Che Guevara, but if he were just a dick”
Best. Quote. Ever.
April 21st, 2009 at 7:57 am
great intepretation
April 21st, 2009 at 7:30 am
he’s stoned
April 21st, 2009 at 7:08 am
I cannot believe, Swaim, that you managed to be funny for a full eleven minutes and eighteen seconds. I mean… I’ve been reading and watching Cracked for so, so long and it still hasn’t clicked just how incredibly epic you are. I underestimated you for the last time. THE LAST TIME, dammit!
April 21st, 2009 at 6:26 am
Calmest ‘Tantrum’ I’ve ever seen.
April 21st, 2009 at 6:23 am
Apparently im really naive, because i thought he was going to pass out or something.
The first half was like an intro to a house episode.
April 21st, 2009 at 6:23 am
Follow up - after this interview, he was booed off the stage in Toronto, and promptly cancelled the rest of his Canadian dates and fled for the border like the whiny-ass douchebag he is.
April 21st, 2009 at 5:49 am
JOHNY SHOVEL FACE is really STUART DANIEL BAKER - the voice of Early Cuyler on Squidbillies!
April 21st, 2009 at 5:46 am
@meat_tornado
You can be old AND jaded AND a blogger… Nothing wrong semantically there. Stop poking holes ya tool.
April 21st, 2009 at 5:41 am
You have to admit, he was good in that one movie. You know, that one? It got nominated for an oscar, and everyone said it was good? Jay Leno liked it? Then he grew a soul patch and decided he was a drummer. Let’s see how that works out.
April 21st, 2009 at 5:39 am
I like that some people don’t understand what a joke is.
Also, he should be shot. I can’t even stand him now.
April 21st, 2009 at 5:21 am
“Old jaded blogger?” Blogging has only been around for, what, three years? Get over yourself.
April 21st, 2009 at 5:17 am
Billy Bob Thornton Loves Lamp.
April 21st, 2009 at 4:27 am
Billy Bob Thornton… You truly are an asshat of the highest proportions!
Swaim: Another piece of genius!
April 21st, 2009 at 4:20 am
[...] of hours of your life writing about people you wouldnt cross the street to spit on you.Link source:http://www.cracked.com/blog/billy-bob-goes-ballistic-with-subtext-titles/ Posted by Andy B at [...]
April 21st, 2009 at 3:42 am
Well… Thornton is definitely either high as fuck or have received some unhumaine treatment in a south african hospital.
April 21st, 2009 at 3:40 am
HAHAHAH WHAT
I especially love the parts with the monster magazine and the very beginning when he knows absolutely nothing about anything. I kept waiting for him to start convulsing and collapsing to the ground. He didn’t seem drunk to me though; it would appear to me he was either suffering from a blood clot in his brain or a classic case of TMNCM (Too Much Nicolas Cage Movies) syndrome.
April 21st, 2009 at 2:09 am
Wow. Swaim, you’re growing on me. Like fungus, but you know, this is good. I hadn’t heard of that BBT tantrum. What an idiotic, Bono-like, ego-fueled rant. I don’t know how that DJ kept him calm. I would’ve went to a commercial and told BBT to get the fuck out of the studio.
My-celebrity-gives-me-right-to-stare-you-down-and-treat-you-like-shit. I will take a dump on my Sling Blade DVD. Why couldn’t he gather the fact that his band got success(and Willie Nelson’s opening) because he was an actor? His music sucks, his song on Angelina Jolie blows…he banged her though….I guess this is the definition of unfair. Meh.
I hope he does get eaten by sharks.
Keep up the good work Swaim
April 21st, 2009 at 2:00 am
How my viewing Experience went:
lol
…
lol
…
lol
lol
…
lolololololol
rofl
*pissed at the idiot*
lololololololololololol
Crap I wasted time instead of writing an essay.
April 21st, 2009 at 2:00 am
GOOD LORD.
What a massive asshole o.O
The subtext is genious though ^^
April 21st, 2009 at 1:40 am
T-Virus, you’re quite right. I had realised this, but thought it might sound like a truism considering that fact that nigh on every word in the English language has been appropriated or canibalised from other languages.
Having visited the wonderful and highly underrated country that is
Canada I can say that its people are among the most affable on earth, its countryside uniquely beautiful and its cuisine…interesting.
I do not work for the Canadian tourist board.
April 21st, 2009 at 1:04 am
I want to see this interview with the chinese subtitles.
April 20th, 2009 at 10:53 pm
oh my holy shit balls!!! swaimy you make me laugh so hard i pee a little each time
April 20th, 2009 at 10:35 pm
was he high or drunk? or recently had a lobotomy??? He got snappy at how the host confused him with intricate questions like “How long has the band been together”…
April 20th, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Dammit Swaim, I was drinking something when you made me watch that!
April 20th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
[...] You may not be able to finish this in one sitting: [...]
April 20th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
OMG Swaim, you just made a boring, awkward interview hilarious! Billy Bob has just been crowned “King of the Douchebags”.
Well done, well done.
April 20th, 2009 at 9:19 pm
Billy Bobs movies are all mashed potatoes with no gravy
April 20th, 2009 at 9:02 pm
What a fucking idiot. Billy Bob is retarded in so many ways for not understanding what was meant by the questions concerning the music. I can safely say it is obvious he has no respect for his bandmates, his fans, or even Canada as a whole. I hope his dick rots off from syphilis after fucking whatever trailer trash piece of shit he’s left with for fans after this interview.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
i think too many people completed missed what went on here in this video… BBT wasn’t all stoned and spaced out like jaquin pheonix style…. he knew exactly what he was doing and just fucking with the interviewer becuase he was pissed off….
April 20th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
that dj deserves an award, I could never have been that reserved and professional.
thorton just redefined the ugly american
April 20th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
Is he fucking retarded? What does a monster magazine have to do with what music he liked as a kid?
April 20th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
lol this shit is hilarious after bad santa and a bunch of cheap wine
April 20th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
>:(
April 20th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
Wow that Billy Bob makes me want to light up with him and Snoop Dogg. 4:20 is awesome!
April 20th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Wow Billy Bob Thornton is an awesome musician and actor huh? Well hey I found a great website where you can watch people take dumps and maybe you can watch them ingest it as well at:
http://www.pooforyou.com
It’s a great website. Maybe you can find true love. It is awesome hotness sexy and stuff yeah!
April 20th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
[...] Billy Bob Thornton Tantrum, With Subtext! Cracked just put up the infamous Billy Bob radio interview crash & burn, but now with hilarious subtext [...]
April 20th, 2009 at 7:40 pm
I made it to 1:29 which is just after Billy starts talking, couldn’t really take any more
April 20th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
I had to mute that…still funny though. As much as I dislike the CBC, I do like their radio programs.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
[...] They Really Meant: The Billy Bob Thornton Tantrum Collected by amoebafinger 00 mins ago from http://www.cracked.com // Event.onDOMReady(function() { // sizeText($(’video_title’), 475); // }) collect this [...]
April 20th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Hilarious.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Found myself thinking, that would have been ace if it ended with a large safe crashing down through the ceiling and smashing the control panel and Billy Bob just looking at it with the same fed up look on his face like, “You call that a safe?”
I dunno I drink a lot…
April 20th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
@shiftysdad:
Here was your post, summarized:
“Hey there “Mike”. I randomly wondered onto this site, apparently not realizing it was Cracked.com, which is a comedy site. Since I spend a great deal of time listening to the Canadian BBC, I want to let you know in a condescending tone that [insert two paragraphs of self-righteous shit here] CBC does not need high ratings.
And I’m just going to let you all know that I think the Government of Canada (which capitalizes all its letters to make it extra important) is bull, because they don’t publicly broadcast the Super Bowl!
Actually, I think that whole thing was shit. This show helps fuck over Canadian taxpayers, never mind that this article was never about the CBC. I hate it.
God, I’m so alone.”
April 20th, 2009 at 7:10 pm
So, I just watched the rest of it.
I’m guessing sleep-deprivation, drugs and/or alcohol, early-onset dementia or some cocktail of all three, because no-one could naturally be that much of a jackass.
And Swaim? I come for your cute little baby-face, but I stay for your astonishingly articulate anger.
P.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Well, *I* worked with Billy Bob on the set of Armageddon. I was the best boy grip during the Paris destruction sequence. I was also B.B. (that’s what I called him was B.B.) I was also BB’s personal peg boy. He has very soft hands, and he was very gentle to me the first few times. After that he demanded to drink my blood and call him Angelina. You’re right, though, it’s how he treats the little people that matter. The little little people. Like, the little boys he kept in his trailer and things like that. I didn’t mind at all that he made me touch his testicles with my eyeball or let him lick my face because he went out of his way to be really really really really really really nice to me. REALLY nice.
Sodomy!
Jerry Cox
PS> I’m still looking for work, BB… if you’re reading this or sumthin.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:59 pm
I nominate Billy Bob Thornton the biggest douche in the universe. Seriously, what a fuckwit. Jian Ghomeshi is much more patient than I would have been; I’m really impressed that he maintained his composure. (And Billy Bob will never be one millionth the musician that Jian is, either. Moxy Fruvous rules!)
April 20th, 2009 at 6:42 pm
Well, I have something to say about all this. I worked with Billy Bob on the Bad News Bears. I was in a deleted scene with Billy Bob (and it was all about me and they didn’t put it on the dvd and man did that make me feel bad, but I digress). Anyway, the point that I want to make is that Billy Bob went out of his way to be really nice to me and all the other little people. Billy Bob was REALLY nice to everyone. I really like the guy.
So, that interviewer is a big guy since he has a radio show. The interviewer can take a hit. It’s how Billy Bob treats the little people that shows what a nice guy he really is.
Cheers!
Jack Tyler
April 20th, 2009 at 6:41 pm
Zian Gomeshi is a badass mufuckaaaaa.
The subtitles were pretty damm incredible.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
That poor, poor Q guy.
by the way: shiftysdad, though i’m sure that your comment was well meaning, nobody gives a fuck.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I watched it, and laughed until tears poured from my eyes. Then I watched it again with the sound off. Someoone put together a voice-dubbed version of this!
April 20th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
“Sunly34 Says:
April 20th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
So cool video, I will upload this to tall dating site ___Tallmingle.com___which is a hot dating site for all tall admirers,tall man and tall woman.”
And when I am President, I will enact an initiative to send Spec Ops troops to the homes of people who post spam and kill them. (slowly & horribly)
April 20th, 2009 at 6:17 pm
What an asshole!
Oh, and two days later they cancel their appearances in Canada because they all have the flu.
http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/article/616913
Really, this is so blatantly obvious, it’s insulting. Why can’t these celebs EVER just say “I was an asshole and now I’m fleeing with my tail between my legs because I’ve clearly royally f-ed up and just need to lie low for awhile.” rather than pulling a face-saving move with a cover story with no plausibility whatsoever. It insults the intelligence, and that somehow seems worse that JUST acting like an asshole on the radio.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:15 pm
Below: Reading too much into things.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
At about time 5:30 the subtext says “And a show need ratings…”. Michael Swaim clearly does not understand how CBC works.
You see Mike, CBC does something that I like to call the double dip. They are funded by the government (that means tax payers’ money is put into it) and they also sell advertisements on all their forms of media. So, in reality, they do not need ratings, since their income is largely due to the government which will keep on supporting the CBC.
So no, they don’t need to worry about ratings. This is relevant since some of Canada’s more popular shows (This will include The Grey Cup, Corner Gas, The Superbowl, 2010 (and 1988) Olympics, etc.) are on other broadcasting stations, the ones that are not funded by the Government of Canada.
But, as you can see from this video, that lack of need for actual ratings makes it all worth the wasted tax money.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Interviewer was kinda awesome. He handled that really, really well and got his digs in politely at the end.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
“I don’t know what kind of drugs he was on, but I sure would like to get some. God, he didn’t even seem to know who or where he was for the first half of the interview. That is either really good drugs or Alzheimer’s. It could very well be a mix of the two.”
Did you look at him in the first minute of the vid? He was staring at the ceiling with his mouth open.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
I got to 3:48 and the awkwardness became too much for me to cope with, so I haven’t seen the rest. Might watch the rest after my coffee, if I’m feeling brave.
But yeah, send him down here. Did you know we have a _fish_ that can kill you? It’s not very big, either, so it’s not like it’s going to eat you; it’s just got these messed-up spines and if you accidentally step on it, you’re just about guarranteed a pants-shittingly painful death.
Yeah, that’s right; just _walking around_ in Australia has like an 11 per cent death toll.
Word.
P.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:27 pm
# dmophatty Says:
April 20th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Meet Count Douchington of Douchelvania. Seriously, could he have been more of a self righteous asshole. If I’d have been the interviewer, I’d have let him have it. This guy backed down and he shouldn’t have.
‘backed down’ read; “done with it”
April 20th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
So cool video, I will upload this to tall dating site ___Tallmingle.com___which is a hot dating site for all tall admirers,tall man and tall woman.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Holy hell Swaim, if you really wanted Billy Bob dead, you’d get off your tight ass and buy him a ticket to Australia, or “Deathland 101″ as it is so affectionately called.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
What a douche nozzle. What’s with the Tom Petty references? Well, would Tom Petty have sat there like a petulant kid deciding to replace the word ‘music’ with ‘movies’ in questions asked to him in order to come off to everyone like a pretentious pile of horseshit? Or would he have perhaps said, “I don’t wanna focus on this other thing, but here’s what I’ve got to say about music?”
Personally, I don’t freaking know, because I don’t know anything about Tom Petty other than a few songs of his, but I’m supposing from the way that Billy Bob kept obliquely comparing himself to him, I’m guessing the latter.
But hey! When you’re famous, that just means that you CAN act like a spoiled 5 year old when people show an interest in you. “I know people are going to listen to what I do anyway, so actually being civil when I can just crap all over people has no real upside.”
And I didn’t know that guy was in Moxy Fruvous. Weird!
April 20th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
i want to take this opportunity to point out that PJX is a total loser tool.
i’ll say the same for Billy Bob up there.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
“Wow, that DJ was a jerk. He just flat out ignored the contract the station had signed with BBT, and starts setting him off just from the introduction. Poor BBT, maybe he just spent too much time on Willy Nelsons bus. I am a total fan of the box masters and have all 5 of their albums. I suggest you’ll listen to his music and judge him on his merits before passing judgement on a creative genius like BBT.
He must have huge balls, He was married to Jolie. I bet when she left so did his heart.”
Original internet troll.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
Wow, that DJ was a jerk. He just flat out ignored the contract the station had signed with BBT, and starts setting him off just from the introduction. Poor BBT, maybe he just spent too much time on Willy Nelsons bus. I am a total fan of the box masters and have all 5 of their albums. I suggest you’ll listen to his music and judge him on his merits before passing judgement on a creative genius like BBT.
He must have huge balls, He was married to Jolie. I bet when she left so did his heart.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Safe to say he pretty much lost his audience, and you can see the rest of the band really squirming in their seats. That’s gotta be the most uncomfortable interview ever.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
What. an. ass.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
douche douche douche… Billy Bob - I could have loved you… but calling me mashed potatoes without gravy? Fu@# you!
I heard this live… it was in the background while I was working… and slowly I tuned in on what was going on and realized this interview was going to be forever referenced in all Journalism 101 classes as an interview from hell…
Jian Ghomeshi is awesome and he did the best with what he could.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:22 pm
maybe its the rage boner talking, but i think that band should have gagged billy bob and tossed him under a table when he started talking about king kong.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Billy bob seems stoned through a lot of this
April 20th, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I think he’s hot. When guys are jerks, it turns me on. He turned me up to 11. Yesssssssssssssssssssssssss.
April 20th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Living in Canada, I get to listen to a fair bit of CBC programming and can honestly say that Jian Ghomeshi (the DJ) got what he had coming. Jian is the drummer from a band called Moxy Fruvis, who are actually quite good and funny, you should look them up. Unfortunately he has no journalistic experience, so he substitutes actual interview technique with his trademark meandering introductions and 5 minute yes or no questions, meaning that the listener ends up feeling like Jian is the focus of the interview. Billy Bob is obviously a total asshole, but this is what happens when you get two huge egos together in the same room.
April 20th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Wow.
Swaim, I think you got the right idea with the sharks thing. I’ll get the sharks and the winch, you get the pool and the chain. We’ll even let that radio DJ lower his ass in.
April 20th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Che Guavara was also dick who encouraged his men to rape women and was eventually kicked out of Cuba for his love of personally being involved in every execution. That said, Billy Bob is as big a dick.
April 20th, 2009 at 3:40 pm
popurls.com // popular today…
story has entered the popular today section on popurls.com…
April 20th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
I think that he believes that a passion is a side project. That’s the LEAST retarded explanation (still quite retarded) for him complaining about being asked about his passion for music that I could even fathom.
April 20th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Bottom line BBT is not Tom Petty. And why Tom Petty n e ways? Why didnt the DJ just “hey you are not Tom Petty”
April 20th, 2009 at 3:34 pm
Yes, he should have let billy bob have it. those are the instances when the interviewer needs to have more pride in his own show and his own work as opposed to bowing down to celebrity’s shitty attitude, what a bunch of crap
April 20th, 2009 at 3:33 pm
I am quite sure that I saw this dude in a film with Halle Berry. Maaan some dudes just dont know what they got till its gone - Angelina. He needs to check himself before he….wrecks himself.
April 20th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I don’t know what kind of drugs he was on, but I sure would like to get some. God, he didn’t even seem to know who or where he was for the first half of the interview. That is either really good drugs or Alzheimer’s. It could very well be a mix of the two.
Did you see the faces of the other band members? Either they where praying for death for themselves or for Billy Bob. “Gods above! Why do we keep letting him near a microphone? Remember, don’t let him speak!”
April 20th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
My God. If there ever was a reason to not buy an album or not go to a concert this is it. What a douche. Was Angelina Jolie that mean to him?? I hope so.
April 20th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
Billy Bob is so awkward, that radio interview wasn’t much of a PR stunt tho if that’s what it was supposed to be
April 20th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
@ Eblana: Canada is an Amerindian word that means ‘Big Village’. So it is not from the English language. Just sayin’.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
LOOK AT MY BALLS THEY’RE HUGE
this was fantastic!
April 20th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
So… he asks him about music… and Billy Bob gets pissed at him for mentioning he is an actor? You know, the thing he said way before asking the latest question? You say focus on the music, then refuse to answer the first question he asks you about music. Also, it seems that Billy Bob thinks Tom Petty hates music. Or that he is on Tom Petty’s level musically. False.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:40 pm
Thank You Swaim, that was one of the funniest things ever to be read, ever! That poor, poor DJ.
BBT is an utter and complete asshole with a douchebag level that is off the charts..
April 20th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Spider Jerusalem:
Yeah actually, Billy Bob and his band were playing a show on the tour in Canada shortly after this interview and got booed really, really bad. So the dumbass explains that it’s not Canada he hates, just Jian Ghomeshi. When the crowd wouldn’t have any of it, he decided that the Boxmasters would leave the tour early.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
The Boxmasters’ gigs in Canada were cancelled after this, and I’m betting they aren’t going to be getting much radio time from now on.
April 20th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Why does the “Los Angeles based trio” have four members?
April 20th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Wow, that was a little shocking. I didn’t know anything about Billy Bob. At the beginning of the interview, I thought he had suffered some sort of short term memory loss or something and I didn’t know what was funny. The subtitles were reallly amusing. ;o
April 20th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
Meet Count Douchington of Douchelvania. Seriously, could he have been more of a self righteous asshole. If I’d have been the interviewer, I’d have let him have it. This guy backed down and he shouldn’t have.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
(just keep that in mind cracked -writers, for when you stop being world famous. aging gracefully WILL get you more pussy on the way down
)
April 20th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
why didn’t this guy just kill himself after banging Angelina? that way he might be rememered as something other then a big joke, that’s been going on long after the punchline.
or does he hope the interviewer will strangle him and end his misery?
i guess some people are just incapable of fading away from the spotlights with their dignity intact.
April 20th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
Oh my GOD. That was incredible! That poor DJ… Billy Bob is such a douche, I can’t even believe anybody can be that douchelike.
So here’s the question… Do you think he became a douche before he got all his money, or do you think he was a douche before it?
April 20th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
What the hell? He completely ignored the music questions and talked about monsters. What is wrong with him?
April 20th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Reading and hearing about this when it happened was painful enough. Now I get to experience the torture all over again! This time with 70% more hilarity.
April 20th, 2009 at 11:51 am
He should go back to “playing” a retard. Seems to be what he’s good at.
April 20th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Look people, what you all need to realise is that if it weren’t for Billy Bob Thonton that asteroid would definitely have blown up the earth. Just saying.
April 20th, 2009 at 11:36 am
In the S.W.A.I.M. logo.. is that you with the white mustache? You are hot man.
April 20th, 2009 at 11:28 am
Oh man, I herd this live while driving accross the fields - Yes I’m Canadian and i did not make that up - To get to the airport.
This is Priceless, Well played:
Swanky
Women
Adore
Incipidous
Micheal
April 20th, 2009 at 11:27 am
BBT is very overrated. i still haven’t seen bad santa. he’s a dick and this proves it. who? who’s in your band? what are your influences so that i can get an idea of things? know what? i don’t care anymore.
April 20th, 2009 at 11:26 am
The guy gets a tiny pass for that scene in Primary Colors when they compares a smear campaign by a rival senator to having a shit in the woods and protecting your junk from a bear attack.
April 20th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Wow. What an annoying prick. I can’t believe the radio host had that much restraint… Y’know, he didn’t go flying across the table and choke BBT for being so damn annoying. I would have - Hell, I couldn’t believe his responses. Ridiculous, pompous ass.
And to think, I sort of liked him as an actor. Knowing he’s a douche, though…. Just another one to hate for being a dumbass.
April 20th, 2009 at 11:05 am
Oh. My. God. That man does not deserve ANY fame or fortune. How can any person get to that point in their life where no one matters but them? I will never watch a Billy Bob Thornton movie again if I can help it.
April 20th, 2009 at 11:05 am
I <3 S.W.A.I.M.
April 20th, 2009 at 10:59 am
antoisspence: HAHAHAHA! He´s probably holding their nuts hostage. “Tour with me you shitbags, or I´ll eat these babies for lunch!”
Jees, I used to respect that f–er…
April 20th, 2009 at 10:45 am
Wow, S.W.A.I.M.-Bot. That was awesome. Great subtitles.
April 20th, 2009 at 10:42 am
“Eat your beard out, Joaquin Phoenix”
Please don’t tempt him, I’m sure he already moisturizes it with a nice Honey BBQ glaze….just in case…
April 20th, 2009 at 10:36 am
AHAHAHAH. Ha. So great. Fuck that prick. I’d cross the street to spit on him, he shouldn’t have left the country without his handlers.
April 20th, 2009 at 10:35 am
What a fuckin’ tool.
April 20th, 2009 at 10:33 am
In an English speaking country that shall remain nameless for now a ‘box’ is a rather crude term for female genitalia. It puts his bands name in an entirely new, but nonetheless unsursprisingly pretentious, light.
April 20th, 2009 at 10:26 am
danny baker, is also unknown hinson, king of country western troubadors, and the voice of early cyler on squidbilles
April 20th, 2009 at 10:15 am
How can one human contain so much unadulterated douche?
April 20th, 2009 at 9:44 am
That was pretty frackin hilarious.
Billy Bob is a prick, on an epic scale.
April 20th, 2009 at 9:37 am
Bwahaha. That was priceless, what a tool. Those captions were awesome.I was kinda hoping the CBC guy would take it too him a little more, but still that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen today.
April 20th, 2009 at 9:27 am
Goddammit, I have a cold. Nothing hurts more than hyena-laughing through a throat that feels like broken glass.
Well played, Swaim. Well played.
April 20th, 2009 at 9:20 am
Damn, that was some hard-core prickiness going on there with the Old Billy Bob. I used to like that guy, but now I think he needs to just be devoured alive by some STD-ridden skank whore.
April 20th, 2009 at 9:07 am
uh… “U-Turn”?
April 20th, 2009 at 9:05 am
Holy shit, the comments section is becoming more insane than the love child of Commudus and Slingblade. I mean, the interview was weird, but the only thing that could ever be weirder is if both Joaquin Phoenix and Billy Bob were in a band together. They could have J-Lo and Nick Nolte in there for good measure. I mean, shit just couldn’t get any weirder, right? Even if say, Sean Penn was their god-damned front man. And possible Oliver Stone as their manager. What would be a suitable name, though?
April 20th, 2009 at 9:05 am
OMFG that was hilarious… i don’t usually audibly laugh at most of the shit that comes on this site, but i had to stop the vid and run it back multiple times so i could catch what i missed from laughing that hard… keep it up SWAIM, i cant wait till the next TAM vid
April 20th, 2009 at 9:05 am
“Im too fucking cool to talk to you, Canada.”
BBB
April 20th, 2009 at 9:01 am
Please make an interview-related sound
Of any kind.
I could watch this over and over and still laugh myself into a coma.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:53 am
this is hilarious mike!! i never digg. but if i could i would digg this twice, thats how funny it is
also, i want your babies.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:52 am
hahaha this is great!!!! whoever did this is brilliant!!!
April 20th, 2009 at 8:43 am
“Would you say that to Tom Petty?”
Umm, no, but he’s not an untalented asshole, thanks.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:41 am
A lot of people are calling BBT a douchebag here, but isn’t he more of a shitheel? Douchebags dye parts of their hair blonde.
Sorry, I just have a hard time calling an old man a douchebag when he’s clearly a shitheel, or irate beady-eyed bastard.
Wouldn’t Jian be the douchebag?
April 20th, 2009 at 8:37 am
Why, holy shit, WHY is no one mentioning the 8 pounds of hash coated in tasty LSD stickers that Billy Bob ingested before the interview? If I have ever seen anyone as gorked as he is in this interview, it was the twitchy guy asking for “bus fare money” on the corner of heroine alley. If anything, he’s pissed at Jian because he’s distracting Billy from his new space monkey buddies that we flying him to - hey look! That dinorobot has a crotch that looks just like Jesus’ head!
April 20th, 2009 at 8:34 am
I really think the only reason the other guys are in that band is because of fear of Billy Bob
April 20th, 2009 at 8:33 am
Hurrah! Well done. I’m actually in awe of this thing called the internet where I can throw down a semantic gauntlet and the challenge is met with rapid gusto by another soul on the other side of the planet.
I salute you Mr. Dontknow. Your name is something of a paradox.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:30 am
Sahara, Yamaha, Katana,
secede, recede,
(ok - was bored)
April 20th, 2009 at 8:18 am
I knew there’d be somebody out there who’d take me up on this rather pointless challenge, motivated only by mt counting down the hours until work ends.
You’re actually wrong though - I said three different consonants. With three of the same vowels. You fail to win the prize. Fair play for the swift response though.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:17 am
You almost lost me there buddy when I saw what the clip was and realised I’d seen it parodied on TWO significant TV shows and on a radio station I hear occassionally, however you had the entire clip so for that reason alone I watched it all. Your subtitles were a little hard to follow at times, what with destroying small nations, torturing international men of mystery and watchig a bit of TV at he same time I had to really strain the brain to focus.
Not your best effort or an original concept but still, entertaining enough for me not to mock you any further.
BB is sure a whack job at 6 in the morning though.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:17 am
I think the band members sold their soul to the Devil to try and get famous and the Devil pulled the old switcheroo.
Devil” “Ha ha ha….you’re famous (well as famous as hillbilly music will make you) and now that you are widely known i’ll give you infamy for being associated with a mega-douche like Billy Bob Thornton. ”
I mean come on. I thought the guy was an actor in his movies. Turns out he just shows up and says the lines. THERE’S NO ACTING! He’s like Sling Blade, Bad Santa, the monster from Monster’s Ball and the complete waste of space guy from Pushing Tin.
Amazing how many a-holes he’s “portrayed”. The list goes on.
I guess that happens when your brain is as big as a bird’s.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:16 am
HOLY SHIT!!!….Swaim actually posted something intresting…good job…and a lil funny…..
btw who is this fag?….why does he not call this moron out?….what is he scared of billy bob……
dare billy bob to go on howard stern or today or any show with ratings and see if he can act like that……billy fag thorton acts like that because he can….he hangs around with no names and dumbasses that are so in awe by him that they will do anything….put him around someone even half as famous and they wouldnt give 2 shits about him and is “tude” and “wants”.
tom petty?….you serious?….he wouldnt even spit in billys direction let alone talk about him.
oh and btw…..Ive never heard of or taken a drug that makes you a dick to ppl……generally you where a dick before and the drug just amps it up.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:13 am
What about banana?????
April 20th, 2009 at 8:09 am
Canada. It is the only word with three different consosnants but with the same vowels in the English language. Crazy, crazy country.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:06 am
Fuck Cracked, Bad Santa is the greatest, that interviewer was a cocksuck.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:02 am
@Spider Jerusalem
Was that guy from MF? I fucking love those guys but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of them. This makes me hate Billy Bob even more if that’s true.
April 20th, 2009 at 8:01 am
i love billy bob thorton….this was his best work yet.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:59 am
Cheeses Cripes. Now I understand why Angelina unloaded this idiot. I used to think SHE was the crazy one. Wow. Kinda puts things in perspective.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if the DJ just kinda snapped and started saying exactly what the subtext suggested? I also get the impression Thornton was high on something, and the band members are probably independent professionals Thornton paid to be a part of his little self-indulgent project. They exhibited a sort of detached, “I have to be nice to keep my job” sort of attitude.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:55 am
Yeah, Jian Ghomeshi is better than this hillbilly doucheclown. Moxy Fruvous rocked hard in its mellow acappella way.
And Swaim, again with the cancon.
Ghomeshi or go home.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:55 am
Well it obviously offended you, you huge pussy.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:53 am
What was up with that “Ching Chong” comment? Wasn’t funny. Not even in an offense way.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:53 am
I think that maybe BBT thought that he was just doing an interview with some crappy regional station and didn’t realize that his interview would be heard/seen all over Canada and the rest of the internet. I’m so proud that my fellow countrymen booed him off stage. What a fantastic dillhole.
Apart from that Jian handled the interview like a pro. He came very close to losing his shit but never did. I could not have done the same in his place.
Subtitles - funny, but the real interview is really all we need for the win.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:42 am
Without Billy Bob they’d look like an Elvis Costello tribute band.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:40 am
I personally think that he was drunk. Pot and douchebag only combine to the point where your friend eats the last cheeto, where as southern comfort brings out a whole new bouquet of stink.
Watch the way his mouth hangs open almost the entire time, and how he repeatedly mumbles. His eyes being dilated don’t really count for much, he’s in a darkened corner of a room (maybe because of his hangover).
Nevertheless, what a dick.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:32 am
Sorry but that dude is a freakin egg head!
RT
http://www.privacy.pro.tc
April 20th, 2009 at 7:22 am
I think Billy-Bob is just really upset over the fact that Angelina and Brad might be breaking up. He really wants the best for her and hates to think she might be going through emotional turmoil. Poor guy. Leaving Billy Bob alone! (Sob) What did he ever do to you? (Sob Sob) LEAVE BILLY BOB ALONE!!!! (Hysterical Wailing).
I’ve just filmed this frantic emotional appeal to leave Billy Bob alone and, having dyed my fringe peroxide blonde, shall be uploading it on to you tube presently.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:21 am
I feel like this is this interviewer’s career highlight. International exposure, hey-oh!
April 20th, 2009 at 7:11 am
“NO WAY, THAT SHIT’S ALL CHING CHONG WING WONG.”
Swaim, you magnificent, Achewood-referencing bastard. Subtle, but some of us (me? Am I cool yet?) noticed.
Also, awesome video. Jian Ghomeshi is actually a fantastic interviewer; I’m surprised he didn’t just Indiana-Jones-&-The-Temple-of-Doom Billy Bob’s heart right out.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:01 am
I love this, because Moxy Fruvous was so well known for their tough touring schedules and love for their fans. This guy has to sit there, after working hard for years just to have a slight bit of success in the nineties (MF was awesome, by the way), and now he has to listen to this assclown and try to humor him and NOT mention the fact that the only reason they are even ON the damn radio is because Billy Bob was in Slingbade and fucked Angelina Jolie… does anyone know if there were any comments from either side after the fact?
April 20th, 2009 at 7:01 am
Danny Baker looks like he wants to crawl up inside his own ass.
April 20th, 2009 at 7:00 am
Nevertheless, good work Mr. S.W.A.I.M!
April 20th, 2009 at 6:58 am
That Johnny Shovel-face is actually Unknown Hinson. Look him up.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:58 am
This was like a radio version of a hilariously awkward letterman interview. The subtext was funny as hell, only a bit hard reading and listening what they’re talking about.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:48 am
Those subtitles were great Swaim. Who do you think will dream of killing Billy Bob for the longest Johnny Cash-Shovelface or the Q dj? I am going for Johnny-Shovel. Billy Bob just flushed the rest of the band’s career down the toilet while he can go back to his money make shitty movies and remmeber when he used to do Angelina Jolie. What a tool.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:43 am
“British invasion with hillbilly…cosmic cowboy music…” that was my favorite thing, it reminded me of the “5 Top Youtube Channels (are all retarded)” on CrackedTV (more from Swaim), in which the girl says her favorite music is rap.hiphop.rock.poprock and her favorite books are bible and jonas bothers (which doesnt seem a far stretch for billy bob)
Oh, and “Even if I die too. Its fine.” had me rolling and crying.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:33 am
really guys?
I mean this was funny, but I don’t see how billy bob was being a dick. He was just having fun fucking with the guy a little.
During that monster magazine story, I ignored the subtext and just watched him - that was a great bit.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:32 am
That was incredible! Billy Bob is such a frankenfuck! I love how he started talking about monster magazines or whatever the hell he was talking about, just because the DJ talked about his acting. Then he insults the Canadians? What a dick. As always Swaim, great job. One of the funniest things I’ve watched in quite a while! Cheers!
April 20th, 2009 at 6:24 am
Someone sic Christian Bale on this fucker!
April 20th, 2009 at 6:20 am
Joe Dick would kick this guy’s ass, and he doesn’t even exist. Oh my god, this was painful (except for how hilarious it was).
April 20th, 2009 at 6:09 am
Let’s not forget to give kudos to Q host Jian Gomeshi for being able to restrain himself from strangling Billy Bob with his headphones.
Also, Gomeshi was a member of the band Moxie Fruvous, if anyone remembers THEM.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:06 am
That Johnny Cash shovel guy tried but the others I wanted to slap. Give a guy a break will ya? The interviewer was very tolerant, too polite maybe. I would have cracked and ordered them out…maybe. Those eyes are scary.
April 20th, 2009 at 6:04 am
upload it on youtube asshole
April 20th, 2009 at 6:04 am
WHAT
A
DOUCHE….
Does everyone suddenly think that being a drugged-up (oh yeah, he was definitely on something, as for what, well I will play Caden’s game, and go with some fine Willie Nelson weed laced with six servings of douche), non-sequitor ass-bag acting batshit blithering fuckcrazy will earn him any respect. Jesus, I don’t know who I feel sorry for, Jian Ghomeshi, who had to sit there and take the insults, from a personal, professional, and national level, or Mr. Woodcock’s band, who has to put up with the shit.
On a lighter note: BoxMasters left the tour.
Great subtitles SWAIM!!!!
April 20th, 2009 at 6:04 am
I like how the interviewer asks several questions about the band… and Billy Bob talks about something totally unrelated… and then gets mad at the interviewer for asking him what any of that has to do with the band…
April 20th, 2009 at 6:01 am
that was unbelievable. i heard he was a dick, but jesus MURPHY is he ever a dick.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:56 am
That was so perfect. You’re the man, Swaim.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:55 am
So, Billy Bob, a man whose vanity projects only even got recorded because of his one semi-watchable movie is comparing himself to Tom Petty, a man who’s been topping the charts consistently since before I’ve been born… If the Zach Braff-looking DJ would have stabbed Billy Bob to death with his mic, he would have been declared a national hero.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:54 am
Wow Billy….W…T…F!?! Seriously uncalled for. That poor DJ got slapped in the face with a big fat pile of steaming crazy for no reason what so ever.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:51 am
There are no winners in this interview, just losers.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:50 am
Another home run by good old Swaim
And yeah, I also wanted to throw Billy Bob of a cliff two minutes into the interview…
April 20th, 2009 at 5:45 am
“I will counter your nonsense with the same question.” Haha, good job Swaim!
April 20th, 2009 at 5:41 am
Wow, that was really well done SWAIM, great job! Plus, it allowed me to sit through that entire excruciating interview…which I couldn’t do before.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:38 am
if we complain, he hits us.
lol
What an absolute cock.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:27 am
lol! Cosmic-cowboys…. Great Job Swaim!
April 20th, 2009 at 5:23 am
P.S check out Billy Bob’s pupils, they’re the size of saucepans. Staring -extremely hard- into space with mouth agape, can’t grasp concepts. Can we play “what drug is Billy Bob Thornton on”?
PPS And I meant Boxmasters :S lol sorry
April 20th, 2009 at 5:22 am
My bones are aching… I wonder how many years that took their lives. Of cource Billy Bob will live 500 more years now, after such a hearty meal of the suffering of innocents.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:14 am
I’m sorry, I had to stop watching after 2 minutes. As funny as the subtext was, I couldn’t stand watching Billy Bob making an ass out of himself for that long. He makes me want to punch things…especially his face. I don’t know why he thought the best way to keep focus on his band was by drawing attention to himself and then proceeding to point out that he didn’t want to talk about himself. Job well done, ass.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:13 am
[...] What They Really Meant: The Billy Bob Thornton Tantrum [...]
April 20th, 2009 at 5:13 am
I lacked the patience to watch this video before, this makes it worthwhile. Hilarious!
April 20th, 2009 at 5:13 am
Funny follow up to this interview, Billy Bob Thorntons band (the Boxcutters) was starting a Canadian-wide tour following this and in it he called us “mashed potatoes with no gravy” because Canadians aren’t rowdy enough (it’s possible that we just don’t like the music, because I’ve been to some raging concerts), so at his first concert of this Canadian tour he was booed and people -actually- brought gravy and threw it at him. Following that him and his bandmates “could not continue the concert due to the fact that three of the bandmates had the flu”. Hahahahahah
April 20th, 2009 at 5:12 am
[...] What They Really Meant: The Billy Bob Thornton Tantrum [...]
April 20th, 2009 at 5:07 am
Fucking Hilarious.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:00 am
Fucking hell. Billy Bob Thornton is officially the craziest celebrity out there. Tom Cruise? Merely high strung. Joquain Phoenix? Misunderstood. Kanye West? A little head strong. Billy Bob Thorton is just completely hostile to a guy he has never met before, with absolutely no reason whatosever. He is the fucking DRUMMER! The drummer of a no-name vanity project that could hobble together three albums in less than a year. Yeesh.
Most awkard openly hostile interview I have ever seen since the early Henry Rollins interviews where he was just angry all the time before he calmed down a little.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:57 am
Godammit, Swaim. You’re a legend. An absolute legend. That is masterful. That is just… wow. Spectacular.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:55 am
Holy crap, I spit milk and Cheerios all over my keyboard. Thanks, SWAIM.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:54 am
hahAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA fuck lol!
April 20th, 2009 at 4:49 am
In A Word… Brilliant!
April 20th, 2009 at 4:49 am
My instinct was right all along, I always had the gut feeling that Billy Bob Thornton was the biggest douchebags of our times. Hilarious video, would like to see more of these with more cocky celebrities like Ben Affleck, Julia Roberts and such.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:49 am
Well done Swaim. Hilarious. And wow, I didn’t think it was possible, but Billy Bob has managed to out-douche himself yet again.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:46 am
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!! I think i have blown a funny fuse! I will never laugh again! Thank you Swaim!! Absolutely Brilliant!!!
April 20th, 2009 at 4:43 am
That was oh so lengthy, but oh so worth it
April 20th, 2009 at 4:42 am
That was absolutely brilliant, I loved the rare moments that the subtext matched the interviewer’s comments word-for-word, which really cemented the interview to the commentary.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:41 am
I loved this
April 20th, 2009 at 4:41 am
omg, I actually felt sorry for the interviewer, Billy Bob is like the king of all asshats.
Swaim that was pure awesomesauce, you kept it funny for the whole 11 minutes.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:36 am
I wonder if the rest of the band was like “get him slingblade!” or more like oh shit here he goes again..
April 20th, 2009 at 4:31 am
Swaim, you beautiful bastard, that was magnificent. You are truly an inspiration to us all.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:25 am
Eurotwangpop
LMAO
April 20th, 2009 at 4:24 am
Normally I don’t like taking a dump all over celebrities (the way people tend to focus on their problems in order to feel superior is a pointless practice) but even my Asshole Detector is right about this one.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:23 am
what the fuck. 4-20 is today, he is way too fucking stoned in that interview.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:20 am
funny
April 20th, 2009 at 4:19 am
Holy balls. What is wrong with these people? Namely you, Billy Bob.
Not you Swaim. You’re a genius.