What They Really Meant: The Billy Bob Thornton Tantrum
Here on the Cracked Blog, it's often in our interest to mock celebrities. We call it "our beat," because usually reading articles about celebrities makes you want to beat them. But frankly, it can get stale. It's pretty easy to do--most celebrities are terrible people or incredibly screwed up--and after a while you just start feeling sad for them. That, and you realize you're spending many hundreds of hours of your life writing about people you wouldn't cross the street to spit on.
But occasionally, that old magic comes back. Some video or news item reminds you why you started doing this in the first place. Billy Bob Thornton's interview on the CBC radio show Q was such an event for me. In fact, the YouTube video of the interview officially moved him from my list of celebrities who I wouldn't mind seeing eaten by sharks to my list of celebrities I am actively trying to get sharks to eat.
In honor of such a grand occasion, I sent away for (and promptly received) the DVD copy of said interview. Imagine my surprise when I found out the DVD version came with a never-before-seen subtext caption track! It's hard to explain exactly what that is in words, so why don't you just go ahead and watch it for yourselves. And thank you Billy Bob, for inspiring genuine hate in this jaded old blogger's heart.
When not reading minds, Michael serves as head writer for and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!
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This was fantastic. I can't believe I've never seen it before now.
ReplyI can't believe Q is on cracked.
ReplyUnknown Hinson! I didn't know he was in Billy Bob's band. The more you know.....
ReplyHoly s**t, that IS Unknown Hinson!
So. Painful..
ReplyI remember listening to this when it originally aired!
ReplyI'm excited about this combining three of my favourite things:
- a Swaim article
- Jian Ghomeshi
- calling Billy Bob Thornton on his bulls**t
I'd say that there isn't any excuse to be mean to Jian Ghomeshi, but the subtitles are kind of insulting to him, and I'm okay with it...
Because I like Swaim way more than I like Thornton.
Billy Bob's interview on Kevin Pollak's chat show was pretty good (at the 40 minute mark), I'm guessing he's high and or got screwed by the deal the made for the interview, as said before...
Replyhe doesnt seem like he's being an a*****e, he seems really high to me, staring round like he can see dancing lights
ReplyWow, what an outrageously rude and arrogant display by Thornton. Seriously, what was up with him?
ReplyYour subtitles are hilarious and spot on.
The explanation for this video is thus:
ReplyHe asked that certain things not be discussed/mentioned in this interview (like his acting career and all the praise he was given in the introduction), he was promised that it wouldn't, and then it was, so his response was more or less a long, drawn out "screw you, you lying sacks of s**t."
Right or wrong, that's basically what's going on in this video.
Um,so? Literally no one would give even the slightest f**k if they didn't know him as an actor.Whether he likes it or not that is the profession that made him famous and that is who people know him as.f**king with this dude only proves he's an unmitigated ass.
So he's being one long, unmitigated dildo because the intro was too flattering? Well, in that case its cool, right? Here's a tip Billy. I've heard your band. If it wasn't for your acting gig, you'd be playing a Holiday Inn off the Jersey turnpike. Don't f**king kid yourself...
The subtext-subtitles were almost too much for me. I like that interviewer too, what a dick. well Thornton will be remembered not for being an actor, but the lamest musician wannabe ever!
Replythis makes me feel like its officially time to start attempting to thwart any of billy bob's future attempts to earn a living in the entertainment industry. i mean, the way he goes off on the poor interviewer-who's just trying to do his job-is enough to rile my working person's sense of rage. so i aint buying or seeing s**t he's in from now on. and i mean it. by the way, nobody would give a s**t about his stupid ass played out old man music in the first place if his "actor name" wasnt attached. does he really think bands just trying to make it can actually get this kind of press coverage so easily? he and lisa marie presley need to go cry about how nobody likes their music while they make some more music no one likes.
ReplyYeah, there really didn't seem to be any logic to his rant against the interviewer. And, as you pointed out, it's not exactly in one's best interests to take what little publicity you're receiving, and turn it into an excuse to show everyone what a total asshat you are. It's a shame, too, because I'd always liked him up until this.
Expecting to maintain some kind of anonymity in a band once called Billy Bob Thornton And Special Guests The Boxmasters, is a hilariously ridiculous example of stupidity.
Replyone of the most hilarious things i've even seen on cracked !
Replywhat. a. douche.
Replyoh my god he was either triping balls or is f**king retarded
ReplyHaha. I'm famous b***h, suck it.
ReplyOh dear god, funniest s**t I've ever seen
Replyhaha this guys needs to get eaten by sharks asap
ReplyHa! Pooor Billy Bob wants to be taken seriously as a musician so badly, he throws a fit.
ReplyActually, the host writes those long-winded introductions himself. Usually they're actually quite eloquent (as far as introductions go). I remember when this happened. It was a HUGE story in Canada. Did anyone see him on Letterman saying the host f**ked up? Utterly ridiculous. I gotta get me a subtext-subtitle TV, though.
Reply