Comments on: Bearded Insanity: The Phoenix Chronicles

By: Err

Err — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:26:46 +0000

It sounds as though he’s saying “I’ve got a million dollars in the fucking bank account, what do you got bitch?” not the far more amusing “I’m a fucking baby cop.”

By: Orypeci

Orypeci — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:30:53 +0000

Holy Shit, Micheal Swaim used HIS fingers to type in the name of MY hometown!

….(faints in typical fangirl style )…

By: Mack daddy daddy mack

Mack daddy daddy mack — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:55:22 +0000

Fayetteville, NC. not Fayetville, NC. Get it straight before i start building a gold coffin!

By: Wyldeboare

Wyldeboare — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 18:57:11 +0000

Mr. Swaim,
I want You to know what a mercilessly unshakeable case of uncontrollable giggles I’ve had ever since I read your freakin’ Jeopardy question. Holy Shit.

Imagine a school teacher standing before students who all think I’ve caught the madness and the other teachers whispering behind their hands I’m still a little boozy from the night before.

Next thought: This is in no way a criticism, but something for us forum dwellers to consider.

Phoenix is an astounding actor.

You know, when I go to work, I don’t want my boss to know what I do outside the office.

I try to view celebrities that way when I read headlines about them as well. I can praise their onscreen work and pretend I didn’t just past them at the mall because they’re on “their time” and I’m on mine.

Along those lines, I give the man respect for his spectacular talent and the serious passion he puts into his craft.

If he wants to skip out on personal hygiene and just recite some unintelligible drivel he’s memorized up on a stage, let him…

By: WowWhatAGuy

WowWhatAGuy — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 16:59:14 +0000

I love the “I’m a fuckin’ baby cop!!”

By: Sparky

Sparky — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 22:42:35 +0000

Oof. I’m still a little more weirded out by octo-mom. Woman’s uterus is just gonna explode one of these days…and seven trillion spider babies will fill the room.

If you’re a fan of Aqua Teen. Otherwise, you’ll have to content yourself with the less-hilarious prospect of how one blatso woman is going to mother a small country.

By: Joram

Joram — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 14:14:45 +0000

Well, tbh being crazy like JP sounds like jolly good fun.
I mean… whats so great about being a celeb if u cant go mad ?

By: Sailhounds2

Sailhounds2 — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 04:41:13 +0000

Love the reference to Phil Spector. Joaquin is now so crazy that he will become un-famous and maybe dead from his weirdness. Kinda like Andy Kaufman. He has jumped the shark and was a marginal actor to begin with. He can’t go all Dennis Rodman, Michael Jackson or Madonna on everyone and still generate enough bookings to pay his bills. Or drug habit. Or whatever got him here.
Joaquin’s raps are so lame I guess he never saw Eminem’s 8 Mile Road. If a white guy puts himself out there he has to deliver. His batshit behavior is not even funny enough to keep us all engaged. We’re not in on the joke and it makes him look pathetic. If he was my friend I would knock him out with a baseball bat and drive him straight to Dr. Drew or Dr. Phil. Out of love. Because I would hate to trip over this guy in the gutter, read his Obit in the paper, or drive up to a Taco Bell or Jack-In-The-Box and have him hand me my food.

By: Nollie

Nollie — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 11:51:17 +0000

Sweet! More, more, more!

By: ryanthefett

ryanthefett — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 20:49:54 +0000

From what I heard, the scene from Walk The Line where he ripped the sink out of the wall was not scripted… he’s just that balls out insane…