Comedy Legend dies of Swine Flu, says spokesperson on Twitter.
Bea Arthur, best known for her roles on shows like the “Golden Girls” and for her devastating axe kick, passed away peacefully in her sleep this weekend, following a long, courageous battle with Colombian drug lords. She was 86.
Born in an era where the average television was the size of two horses and prohibitively expensive, Arthur was forced to wait several years for her big break perfecting her skills on the useless theatrical stage. Her first television role was on All in the Family, where she portrayed Maude Findlay, a strident feminist and counterpoint to the conservative Archie Bunker. America was so delighted at seeing a television character not actively throwing rocks at Pakistanis, that CBS executives immediately created a new show for this character immediately. Maude, as the show was moronically called, was the exact antithesis of All in the Family, and fearlessly explored liberal issues of the day, like whether long hair was acceptable on men who perform abortions.
In 1978, Arthur had a small role in the Star Wars Christmas Special, where she played a bartender who sings a down-tempo tune about drinking to an enormous hamster–at the time another huge leap forward for women’s rights.
Arthur’s most famous role was that of Dorothy on Golden Girls, where she shared a house with her elderly mother and two friends. The show was celebrated for its open discussions of senior’s sexuality. Dorothy’s famous catchphrase “I’d let that slam me for a dollar” caught the public imagination in the summer of 1988, and would later become the official slogan of the Dukakis presidential campaign.
In private life, Arthur was a well known activist for animals’ rights and a promoter of underground fights in high-end Los Angeles area night spots. A committed method actor, Arthur–famous for her portrayal of old women–would often stay in character as an old woman for years at a time, much to the delight of friends and family.
In many respects, Arthur was the exact opposite of the typical Cracked reader, in that she was a woman, older than 35 and not constantly masturbating at a low level. Beyond that, Arthur came from a different comedy-era entirely, having honed her skills on the stage, working with archaic concepts like “timing” and “delivery” and without the aid of modern comedy tools like Photoshop or Transformers references. Put more plainly, she was damned funny in a way we’re not–and we pour some malt-comedy-ale (Zima?) on the ground to salute her.
Here’s an example which neatly intersects Arthur’s talents with the ass-jokes that Cracked readers desperately crave: her reading of the sodomy related sections of Pamela Anderson’s semi-autobiographical Star Struck during a roast of the aforementioned “author.”
Click to play. Probably not safe for work, though it is damned hilarious. Depending on your situation, this may actually be worth losing your job over.
Arthur is survived by three children, who are currently working to resurrect her in robotic form, as per her final wishes.
__
This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 at 4:00 am and is filed under Bea Arthur, Obituary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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November 21st, 2009 at 6:24 am
btw… have you guys considered like… blocking people from posting links on this site? Some of the links below are like.. vomit inducing and there is no warning as to what they are
November 21st, 2009 at 6:21 am
Bea Arthur was a freakin’ great actress, woman, and a hell of a lot of fun to watch. She was the inspiration for spicey older ladies everywhere… i hope i have half as much spunk when i get over 60 as she did… or Dorothy did..
Oh, and for statistics, here’s another cracked reader in the female 35 demographic.. who is not always masturbating at a low level, however, sometimes i am having sex at a low level while reading a cracked article.
August 19th, 2009 at 9:24 am
It feels so wrong laughing…
June 13th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
emo girls are the hottest imo but any girl on webcam is just sexy
May 21st, 2009 at 6:14 pm
The first and largest mingle site for Cougars and men.
== http://SugarMommyMatch.Com/ ==
Thousands of single members with real pictures are here waiting for you. Search for what you want, find more than you dreamed! Whether romantic or flirtation.
May 7th, 2009 at 7:40 am
Bea Arthur love her, love her!
Never saw a roast, don’t care about ‘em. but for bea I’ll watch pamela’s.
May 6th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
U go gurl!
XOXO! http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=13&catid=17&sku=ENGL-CD00312
May 6th, 2009 at 2:46 am
I mean, I thought that was pretty funny. I think Bea would have chuckled. And i truly love her, probably more than most cracked readers understand, considering I’m a woman…
who is constantly masturbating at a low level. I literally was masturbating at a low level when i read that sentence. And right now.
I’m under 35, so i suspect that may have something to do with it.
May 5th, 2009 at 6:14 am
Bea Arthur=Badass (also, I’m sure she masturbated at a low level, nay a high level. You think about that)
May 3rd, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I resent that remark. I masturbate at a very high level.
May 1st, 2009 at 7:12 pm
I gave this sweet lady The Cleveland Steamer, The Strawberry Shortcake AND The Chili Dog (not all in the same night of course)! She Rocked!
Rest well beautiful! I’ll miss your tongue, your vagina and bum hole.
XOXO!
April 30th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
No way, she’s dead? Bummer. And I learnt this from HERE? Double bummer. Still, it’s a decent obituary of her; you should do more obituaries of comedians in future. Jackie Mason can’t have long left.
April 30th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
?????
April 30th, 2009 at 12:43 am
Isnt this meant to be a comedy site? What is this turd piece doing here?
April 29th, 2009 at 4:01 pm
http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=15&catid=29&sku=E-CD00250
How’s THAT 4 some cut & paste you redundant cunt?!
April 29th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
That’s a man, baby.
April 29th, 2009 at 3:51 pm
lol… couldn’t have said it better myself.
April 29th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Really?I heard that she met a tall guy on the tall dating site http://Tallconnect.com ,seems it is not a new news there.Maybe it is true, i also saw their hot photos on that site.
April 29th, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Great!, though sad, THANKS!
April 29th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
pedoluv Says:
April 29th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Not funny.
And Bea Arthur fucking owned.
What did she own?
Oh yeah, a sense of humor, unlike you. You self important shit stain.
April 29th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Not funny.
And Bea Arthur fucking owned.
At least Swaim or Gladstone wouldn’t write this shit. You fail. If you’re going to make fun of dead people, at least be funny about it. Asshole.
April 29th, 2009 at 12:15 pm
Do you Own this site SnL? Because you’re sure sounding like you do.
April 29th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Same 2 U Sporto. Not everyone expresses things the same way U do. Deal with it Dipshit!
April 29th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
No shit! Hey Susan… you’ve never taken the high-hard-on in the crapper from your lady friend’s strap-on, have you?! Lighten up Princess! You’re B-O-R-I-N-G-!
April 29th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
If you don’t think the comments (or this article) are funny and respectable of Bea Arthur’s sense of humor… go hump a box of broken glass, and take a lighten the fuck up pill! If you don’t understand what you read here, continue to wrinkle up that unattractive part of bunched skin between your crossed-eye, and get back to stocking your shelves, you morons! And remember this well (because your parents were too stupid to teach you this valuable life lesson), NOT everyone thinks the way to you, says things the way you do, and the Universe doesn’t always expand the way you’d hope it would. So either get in the game or fuck off and join some Christian site (but remember to bring your credit card… because this is a FREE forum). Fuck you wet blankets could take the fun out of a kid’s birthday party for God’s sake. And to Bea… loved the anal in Cancun Baby! Rest well… you deserve it after those marathons my Sweets!
April 29th, 2009 at 11:33 am
I couldn’t make up my mind if this was you being sarcastic or just being a jerk. Were you high when you wrote this?
April 29th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Hello, i found a very good site with videos funny , sexy girls funny, wrecked cars, live accidents, entertainment , TV shows and other… Try it: http://www.autostrada80.com
April 29th, 2009 at 11:26 am
I’m gone for an entire day and the comment section turns into a melee of psychotic bashing and hate posts.
Can’t we all just come together and enjoy the Life of Bea?
Sing it with me now….”Traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant..”
April 29th, 2009 at 8:43 am
She did anal. And I’ll always remember those nights on the beach in Cancun and I love her for that gift.
http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=13&catid=9&sku=ENGL-CD00321
April 29th, 2009 at 6:33 am
Heh heh–that video was pretty good. I loved the way she kept giving Pam Anderson that disapproving look!
April 29th, 2009 at 4:31 am
Really?I heard that she met a tall guy on the tall dating site http://Tallconnect.com ,seems it is not a new news there.Maybe it is true, i also saw their hot photos on that site.
April 29th, 2009 at 3:54 am
I sincerly apologize for my crime of not liking this.
April 29th, 2009 at 3:20 am
@Sjofn
At least until it takes over Asia.
April 29th, 2009 at 3:16 am
These comments really are hilarious. If I’d read some of them and not the article, I would’ve assumed it read “Bea Arthur died recently. Not only was this very surprising, but also a good thing, because she was a cunt.”
I’m sure I don’t need to point out that it seemed complimentary, just in a silly fashion which some people (note lack of expletives) can’t see through.
April 29th, 2009 at 1:59 am
As a tall, husky voiced woman myself, she was totally my idol. Robo-Bea will be a sight to behold, I am sure.
April 29th, 2009 at 12:50 am
Chordus,
Urination may not be harmful, but the method with which pregnant mares are stored in order to provide the urine is. They’re kept tied up their whole life.
April 28th, 2009 at 11:41 pm
Another one of her accomplishments? She was a spokesperson for PETA: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMu5kLq29k0
Urination a natural process of horses which is not harmful to them, so I’m unsure as to why PETA is that upset over it. But it must also be taken into consideration that there are a lot of chemicals found in horse urine that are also used other places. Water, for example. And yet, I doubt she’d stop drinking water if she were told that some of the molecules have probably passed through the intestines of a horse.
She may have been a great comedian and actor and singer, but to me, she’ll always be the old kook without any knowledge about basic medical chemistry. Cheers!
April 28th, 2009 at 11:00 pm
That woman gave me wood! Rest well sweet lady! XOXO!
April 28th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
You’re still no Seanbaby, but the line “working with archaic concepts like “timing” and “delivery” and without the aid of modern comedy tools like Photoshop or Transformers references.” had me laughing out loud for real.
April 28th, 2009 at 8:51 pm
Awesome article.
Still, it made me sad that talented people who were actually good at being funny, like Bea, are dying left and right while “comedians” who wouldn’t know the meaning of funny (Dane Cook) aren’t dying fast enough (Will Farrell).
April 28th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
I dont know, funny but … I dont know
April 28th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
Oh the horror that is the Star Wars Christmas Special…
April 28th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Funny stuff! I was spitting pide all over my keyboard at work after the axe kick bit and it got worse from there.
Great work. Bea would have flooded her Tenner Lady…
April 28th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
Grizzly Adams did have a beard.
April 28th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
Bea in Futurama!! DEATH …by snu snu!
…THE BEST!
April 28th, 2009 at 5:12 pm
If she really is dead some one is gong to have to break the news to Deadpool and its not gonna be me.
April 28th, 2009 at 4:24 pm
All I know(s) is that she was in that one episode of Futurama. She was good in it, too.
RIP
April 28th, 2009 at 4:23 pm
The videos don’t show Bea.
April 28th, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I think Bea would’ve found this article funny. RIP Bea Arthur, she was one of the funniest women ever, and she could sing too! Her Broadway work was kick ass as well as her TV work. She appreciated good humor.
April 28th, 2009 at 3:59 pm
Bea Arthur had such a great sense of humour that she would’ve loved this article. Cheers, Cracked! We’ll all miss you, Bea!
April 28th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Oh my God. That was hysterical.
I think Bea would have loved this. It’s clearly done with much love and respect.
April 28th, 2009 at 3:06 pm
ah man you gotta love bea. she’s great.
as for the article- I don’t see how it’s disrespectful. there are a couple of jokes sure but it’s pretty much a tribute…unless I’m way off base.
anyway- bea rocks. RIP.
April 28th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
For the first time I comment without reading. Honestly I’m scared that I’ll enjoy it. Way to be a pioneer, cracked. Even those South Park “Pussies” waited a little bit before ripping Stevie Irwin.
No seriously Cracked way to go. Break them statute of limitations. Break’ em good. Oh yeah… Mmmh.
April 28th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
All Comedians die.
Not all Randoms really live.
Why do they call a Pap Smear a Pap Smear?
http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=15&catid=30&sku=E–CD00330
April 28th, 2009 at 1:37 pm
You have my vote Sir!
April 28th, 2009 at 1:31 pm
Most of the posters here thought the article was funny, me included. what more defending does this need?
I am Sir ClownShoes, and I stand in defense of this fine article. Now, fight or yield!!
April 28th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
And you’re the one on this planet to decide what is funny?
Wow, you’re a dullard.
What do you do for fun… watch water freeze, grass grow, go to the SPCA to kick kittens… your Granny douching?!
April 28th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Random, did your parents ever have any kids?
April 28th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
Still no defence of this article in sight…
Isn’t Cracked meant to be funny?
April 28th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Wow… you should write bumper-stickers!
April 28th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
too soon…
the Dukakis campaign was only 21 years ago
April 28th, 2009 at 1:19 pm
If you trully believe in something then defend it rather than sling useless insults.
April 28th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
I loved that old bitch… Bea Arthur was my favorite.
And holy shit, that video? That was the best part of my year.
Thank you, Mr. Bucholz, for that touching article about the supreme bad-assery that is Bea Arthur.
April 28th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
You know what else isn’t appropriate Random? Your Mother paying ME to fuck her in the coal chute! Maybe she and I will give you a nice new brother your can molest to keep you away from smelling bicycle seats at the playground awaiting that recess bell… you fucking jack-off!
April 28th, 2009 at 1:11 pm
Not bad, as far as opinions go.
You just had to stir the pot, didn’t you Random? ..you asshat!
April 28th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Random… you fucking, tight-ass, prudish, prick!
I hope you choke on your tongue in your sleep!
(how’s that for an opinion?)
April 28th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Random… I care more about the last shit I just flushed than your anal-retentive comment(s). Fuck… if we shoved coal up your ass, I’ll bet in 2 weeks you’d crap out a diamond!
April 28th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
@Random - yeah, thats your opinion, but you gotta admit the comments are fuckin hillarious! Now STFU.
April 28th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
rofl@Butty
April 28th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Who cares what you think?
April 28th, 2009 at 12:44 pm
I stand by my comments… this article is neither funny or appropriate.
April 28th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Henry,
You’re bashing Canada because they’re NOT over-populated? Wow… you’re hysterical. You should take your shit on the road and leave your shelf-stocking job at WalMart behind! U da’Man!
April 28th, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Secular - and what makes you think anyone gives a fart in a hurricane what your opinion is over anyone elses?! Go fuck your Mother… again (we all did)… or go fuck Dave (probably one and the same person). Bea… I’ll miss you. You gave great head lady!
April 28th, 2009 at 11:58 am
Bea, you’ll always be Golden to me.
Thanks for everything.
April 28th, 2009 at 11:16 am
HAHAHAHA Thank you everyone! Dave, I appreciate you being a fan, but as a person you’re a little queer jag off. The Golden Girls had more balls than you! Everyone else, thanx for the laughs! Keep abusing Dave and Buzzard, you’re making all of Heaven laugh their winged asses off!!!
April 28th, 2009 at 11:01 am
http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=13&catid=10&sku=ENGL-CD00250
April 28th, 2009 at 10:59 am
I just won the auction on eBay! I got Dave’s Mom’s stinky, sweaty, abused cunt for a nickel!
April 28th, 2009 at 10:58 am
… should have swallowed.
And ‘Buzzard’… no one (ever) cares what you have to say. Go and kill yourself please…. you fucking pud-knocker!
April 28th, 2009 at 10:55 am
Holy crap! I’m getting cramps from the hilarity!
Don’t worry Dave,,,, not everyone is hatin on ya’. alot of us think your just a fine …well …sperm burp I guess! …never mind.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:55 am
… you Mom is gettin into the shower (with men other than your Dad to pay for the rent on your trailer). Get to your peephole, you frustrated little cunt!
April 28th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Clearly ‘Dave’ was held down a lot (against his will) during recess.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Lol… nice!
April 28th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Buzzard44 - You’re another shit caked dicklicker. Why don’t you and Dave smear your shit on each other and go take a shower together you fuckin nerds
April 28th, 2009 at 10:48 am
Mmmm… just looking at her pics now. I need a towel!
President Obama comments on her passing:
http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=13&catid=18&sku=ENGL-CD00429
April 28th, 2009 at 10:48 am
@SuckMeDave! thanks, i just splorted soda through my nose!!!
April 28th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Damn it! SuckMeDave posted 1 second before me. Anyway, glad to see that I’m not the only one to think that Dave is a faggot ass little cunt
April 28th, 2009 at 10:45 am
@Buzzard44 - lol
@Dave - this is Cracked dude! …also, lol
keep ‘em comming this is great!
April 28th, 2009 at 10:45 am
lol… you tell it like it is Bro!
April 28th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Dear Beatrice,
I wish I knew what it was like to feel the inside of your bum.
Hugs, licks and love.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:44 am
Awesome! Bea would of laughed her ass off. She was a great entertainer and she will be missed. At Dave (Below), SHUT THE FUCK UP you uptight asshole. Go to some EMO website or Oprah.com and post your gay ass opinion there. This is CRACKED, a COMEDY site, DOUCHEBAG. R.I.P. Bea (she would approve!).
April 28th, 2009 at 10:42 am
Oh Dave… lighten the fuck up you god-damned prude! Do you own this site… no?! Then fuck off! Freedom of Speech (ever hear of that). And this from Cracked/Digg… get over yourself! You don’t like it… move along little anal-retentive doggy! And just how does a 22 year-old write anyway (much differently than a 21 or 23 year old)?!? Dave = M - O - R - O - N. But hey… just my opinion, freedom of speech on a site I doubt you own. ‘Disrespect’?! WTF… if you knew Bea Arthur… should you be out buying flowers and/or being with her family?! Take a reality pill, and lighten up! Oh… and you’re boring, and probably smell, and look funny, and have a lazy eye that scares children.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:36 am
Awful. Not because of the disrespect, but because all you did was take a 3-line bio and a bunch of recently-hip jokes and called it a tongue-in-cheek tribute. This reads like it’s written by a 22 year old with no understanding of the world before 1987. My (our) generation only remembers Bea as the butt of a million jokes and as the broad from the Golden Girls, but her talents, contribution to the arts and to comedy and above all, her ability and willingness to take and give a joke, make her deserving of more than this.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:27 am
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
April 28th, 2009 at 10:23 am
No you don’t.
I’d nail you in the keyster (and I’m straight)!
U just keep right on posting Mister!!!
My gift to you! XOXO!
http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=13&catid=9&sku=ENGL-CD00379
April 28th, 2009 at 10:19 am
Kevio,
Who hasn’t Bro?! lol…
(nice post).
April 28th, 2009 at 10:17 am
It appears I smell badly.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Loved that woman, all her work, and especially the Golden Girls. She’ll be missed. Nice, yet hilarious tribute. Good job
April 28th, 2009 at 10:12 am
I have no problem laughing at the dead, or making fun at ‘Maude’ for that matter (a show I absolutely detested). However, if you simply don’t have (i) the talent, or (ii) a sense of humour, then the attempt falls flat…..believe me, that this the case here. This article is simply an embarrassing confirmation that those who can’t do or teach become columnists. I’d rather watch Bea Arthur perform opera in the nude than read any more drivel from this ‘writer’.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:09 am
Had her.
April 28th, 2009 at 10:04 am
Good job Bucholz, a fitting tribute. Bea Arthur was tough as hell, she was a Marine in WWII and she was funny as hell.
Doctorchaos it’s totally amazing that AverageJoe agrees with every word you say. It’s almost as if you were the same person HMMmmmmm?
April 28th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Miss her already.Loved her and all the Golden Girls always
April 28th, 2009 at 9:36 am
doctorchaos,
It is not hard to figure out howironic this is. I am not sure of your reasons. I am guessing, however, you like to watch how easily people are manipulated by becoming a wolf in troll’s clothing. I will admit that I myself am being manipulated to write a comment about you, but it’s not for insulting you. You are above that. You are obviously intelligent, and it takes confidence to sit back and watch people insult you without firing back. But it is also unbecoming. Instead of writing a snooty comment just to watch a handful of commenters insult you, I am using this comment to instead challenge you to write an entire article. Prove to people that you are truly above them. But please stop leaving the obviously intentional, negative, and aggressive feedback. This is not the place. Writers at Cracked work hard to make their product better for their readers, especially the columnists. They need to know when people are genuinely dissatisfied. Anyways, you have the link, choose to do what you will.
On to the Article at hand:
Personally, I feel that Bea Aurthur was an amazing actress and I am glad to see that Bucholz and Cracked are honoring her, albeit in their own way.
April 28th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Agreed. And to all the uptight, anal-retentive prudes on here with (obviously) NO sense of humor… FRENCH MY NADS! I (personally) like making fun of the dead. They can’t come back to bite you in the ass! As for Bea taking a dirt nap. I’ll miss that feisty, take on Archie, gruff voice, built like a brick shit house of a woman! Bea… you gave me wood darlin! I know, I know… God will get me for this!
April 28th, 2009 at 9:34 am
P.S. we’re looking at the likes of you DoctorChaos.
April 28th, 2009 at 9:32 am
I truly believe that Cracked is freakin brilliant! Most of the articles are very funny and even if they are mediocre, you just “know” the brilliance behind the editors is that the freaks and tweaks will come out of the woodwork to post the most inane, absurd, asinine, daft, empty, fatuous, flat, foolish, frivolous, futile, idiotic, illogical, imbecilic, innocuous, insipid, jejune, laughable, meaningless, mindless, pointless, puerile, ridiculous, senseless, silly, trifling, unintelligent, vacant, vacuous, vain, vapid, weak, worthless and hysterically entertaining comments in the entire world!
Freakin Brilliant job Chris B and Cracked!
April 28th, 2009 at 9:12 am
Oh good Lord, Butty. Have some common decency.
April 28th, 2009 at 9:03 am
Really?I heard that she met a tall guy on the tall dating site http://Tallconnect.com ,seems it is not a new news there.Maybe it is true, i also saw their hot photos on that site.
April 28th, 2009 at 8:39 am
What… you don’t believe in Heaven, Mr. Random?! You don’t think she’s in a better place? Where all the best comedians and her friends that have passed before her have gone? Did you KNOW this lady personally? Is Heaven only a convenient concept when you have the flu or narrowly missed a green light because you’re too busy judging others whilst you drive… Moron (there… judging you. How does that feel… Goofy)?!
Speaking of the site sited below… here’s a FREE gift (because I certainly care about you… Lover… BA-BOING!!!):
http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=15&catid=32&sku=E-CD00384
Have a nice day… someplace else.
April 28th, 2009 at 8:35 am
Can we make fun when you’re dead Sporto? Yeah…Cracked and Digg… sniffle… grow the fuck up, Putz! Go read the Washington Post then. Pussy! Hopefully this post is a new low in low, low! Oh… and your Mother is a cheap, welfare trailer park whore that would have you hold the webcam and take credit card orders online while she worked over the John’s that came (literally) through your home to pay the rent.
April 28th, 2009 at 8:29 am
A new low has been reached… how can anyone in their right mind think that making fun of the so recently dead can be considered funny?
April 28th, 2009 at 8:29 am
AverageJoe Says: — hey cunt! This is a FREE forum. Freedom of Speech and all that useless shit. Don’t like it… shut up and move on. Your comments are no better liked or disliked than anyone else. A true sign of intelligence is acceptance. Go suck your Momma’s dick, Mr. Self-Important Prick!
April 28th, 2009 at 8:26 am
It’s about fucking time!
I sent her family this (and YOU should too):
http://neilsnotes.com/index.php?page=15&catid=30&sku=E-CD00296
April 28th, 2009 at 8:18 am
Also, the factual inaccuracies in the festering pile of filth make me queasy. Check your facts, you carpetbagging muckrakers!
April 28th, 2009 at 8:03 am
this was a good tribute to a brilliant individual. Chris B., you’re a class act.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:58 am
Great article!
And well said jrockey!!
April 28th, 2009 at 7:57 am
Deadpool is inconsolable
April 28th, 2009 at 7:57 am
Bea Arthur was awesome!
April 28th, 2009 at 7:56 am
This reads like a fucking Mad Lib.
That is not a good thing.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:53 am
I occasionally make the mistake of reading the comments section of an article. Invariably there is a Dr.Chaos comment because for some reason unknown to normal man he thinks that someone, somewhere, values his opinion.
While I’m sure I’m not the first to say this nor will I be the last, even today, I find it difficult to express how little I, or anyone else for that matter, care about you thoughts, opinions, veiws, stances, comedic ideals, or your own tragic attempts at humor.
In closing, please find a nice car fire to die in you waste of skin and stop using air other people could be breathing.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:47 am
I resent your generalization of the typical Cracked reader. I am over 35.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:45 am
I loved the article. You paid your respects and gave her a fitting tribute without forgetting that this is meant to be an irreverent comedy site. Bea was a treasure and shall be missed dearly. Well done, Chris, old bean.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:35 am
I’ll never forget that old lady I’ve never heard of.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:31 am
LOL
Doc Chaos’s comment was about 4 times funnier than this article. Seriously, this is a Humor site right? RIGHT???
So a famour actress died, and a 2 bit hack of a writer attempts to make jokes about it. I’m not upset at that, just upset that I wasted all that energy clicking on the link that lead to here, when there are so many better links to click on.
So far the only good Chris B article I’ve read was the Ken Doll one. That was his “One Hit Wonder”.
And when will they learn to stop using this stupid form of message leaving. It’s totally open to manipulation and spam. The other one is much better, where you have to use your login.
Duplicating Doc’s name with a stupid comment was funny for 2, maybe 3 articles but now it’s just stupid. You’re all retards for falling into his trap and demonstrating your own retardation.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:27 am
R.I.P. Bea–Thank you for being a friend.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:22 am
hmm. i’m a woman, under 35, and constantly masturbating at a high level… i don’t know WHAT i am anymore! *weeps*
April 28th, 2009 at 7:20 am
I wasn’t hugged enough as a child, and, completely lacking the balls to take it out on anyone in real life, insult people anonymously, hiding behind my internet connection like a naughty child.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:11 am
I am a troll with a polysyllabic vocabulary.
Venerate me, you penises.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:09 am
Holy shit, Doctorchaos take your meds before you kill someone.
April 28th, 2009 at 7:04 am
WOW.
What a fucking classy article.
And old person died. Not a normal boring everyday death mind you but a…. what? oh it was a quiet ordinary boring death, in her sleep you say. No explosions? No skull crushed by alien species on a hunting trip? Didn’t turn into a zombie? Didn’t get shot in a robbery. Just, sleeping?
WOW. You go Chris. I can’t wait to see the rest of your contributions this week.
How about this lineup:
Wednesday: 6 month old baby cries and shits itself.
Thursday: Dark clouds appear in sky, rain soon follows.
Friday: Fish found SWIMMING in the ocean.
Saturday: It’s sports day - Football player kicks ball, and holy fuck, it comes back down to earth.
This weeks Captain Fucking Ordinary award goes to Chris B. When asked what inspires this extraordinary journalist he simply replied: “I look at shit, and write down what I see.” Then it gets published because my Editor is a fucking retard who lacks the balls to tell any of his contributors their work is total shit.
April 28th, 2009 at 6:57 am
Here’s a link to the video on Comedy Central:
http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?title=bea-arthur-uncensored&videoId=72716
April 28th, 2009 at 6:35 am
I like to think that in whatever awesome level of heaven she’s ended up in, she’s getting a giggle over this.
P.S. - I’d totally slam her for a dollar.
April 28th, 2009 at 6:18 am
@Sara
May I kindly request that you get over yourself, you bloody beaver-botherer.
April 28th, 2009 at 6:05 am
Bucholz, you strike gold again. No other blogger from this site could capture Arthur the way you did. Thanks for the great morning cheer!
If Arthur’s kids do resurrect her as a robot, I’d pay to see Mecha-Arthur take on Mecha-Streisand.
April 28th, 2009 at 6:01 am
MAN. I’m gonna miss that sexy bitch.
April 28th, 2009 at 5:57 am
Well at least we know betty white will never die. That dirrty bird will out live us all lol. Any way R.I.P. Bea Aurther and may you live forever through comedy
April 28th, 2009 at 5:35 am
This article read like an Uncyclopedia piece.
April 28th, 2009 at 5:30 am
Maude was a good show, if only because Bea Arthur was so hot.
April 28th, 2009 at 5:26 am
i still watch the golden girls from time to time, Dorothy was one of my favorites. when i was younger i always thought she looked like my grandmother
April 28th, 2009 at 5:12 am
Yeah, my parents and my moose are the only ones who will see this hilarious video.
Big -ol-Canada- and- its- small-ass population- jokes are retarded.
April 28th, 2009 at 5:07 am
your video link goes to a Canadian website and as such will only play in Canada. So only three people and a moose will see it.
April 28th, 2009 at 5:04 am
bucholz tuesday
April 28th, 2009 at 4:48 am
i hope that seanbaby fucking thing reads this, and gets a clue of what real comedy actually is.
April 28th, 2009 at 4:44 am
Loved Golden girls… Maude, not so much.