After the events of the Spring Fling Titty-Beer and Boner-Off, the Sigma Nu chapter of Theta Chi Fraternity was in danger of losing its national charter. It was the epicenter of what STD scientists refer to with only a ten minute scream. The only thing that could save their fraternity was the greatest philanthropy project ever. So the Theta Chi brothers decided they would create an avenging spirit of justice to take to the night and fight local crime. After weeks of training, Bruce “Rich Bitch” Wayne became… the Batman. This is one of his adventures.
This entry was posted on Thursday, October 1st, 2009 at 4:00 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
2009 Literary Sex Off! 5 Baffling Perspectives on Boning
9 Reasons Iraqis Suck at Jumping Jacks
7 Great Occupations for Horribly Stupid People
If Aquaman Comics Knew How Much Aquaman Sucks
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November 13th, 2009 at 2:36 am
HAHAHA! loved it! keep it up!
November 9th, 2009 at 11:55 am
hhahhahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahahahahaa fucking dude this is the funnieesstt shit the part when batman was running fuuucckkkkk yooooouuuuu legendry
November 6th, 2009 at 10:37 am
@Leigh Mullins
Translation: “Whut?”
October 30th, 2009 at 11:35 am
Too good! Anyone who doesn’t find this funny is a borderline coin dealer.
October 30th, 2009 at 3:45 am
There is no escape from “orphan crate”.
October 27th, 2009 at 8:22 pm
HIT THE RAPE ALARM!
October 22nd, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Well, the ads were. The comic was sort of funny, but only due to the spectacular spamming of complete non-sequiturs.
October 22nd, 2009 at 6:11 pm
The mid-comic advertisements almost caused my sternum to crack I was laughing so hard. This is a steaming chunk of genius.
October 22nd, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Also for the Batman WTF Files:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_Nh4ckXlDg
October 22nd, 2009 at 11:56 am
This is proof that evolution is OPTIONAL
Dont go places you dont wanna be
There is zero value & appreciation here
It’s an orgy of self-disgust
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:57 am
@ Leigh Mullins: You win at internet comments. Congratulations, expect 20,000 pesos at your house in 6-8 business days.
Seanbaby for the love of all things good and tits (actually, I guess the latter fits into the former), please write more of these and more MMA articles.
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:36 am
PS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwfA_0jzocA
October 22nd, 2009 at 9:29 am
I can only feel sadness for the void of hopelessness & torture of abandonment read here..
Only from utter pain could such self-mutilation as this originate
It aint cool to have to watch your back for the things you sent out
The boomerangs of your thoughts & choices - investments that return to subject you to your SELF - again.
I love you all - please stop the suffering
Disrespect for anything or anyone else is only disrespect for oneself - every word we speak goes first through us - every single thought we have we subject ourSELVES to first.
Look at your life
You created it
October 22nd, 2009 at 5:03 am
Epic. Just epic.
October 21st, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Funniest shit I’ve seen in months, keep it up.
October 19th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Please do more of these, Seanbaby, PLEASE.
October 18th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
Hi, God here. Just dropped in to bestow you all with the knowledge that bradbury sucks my Holy cock.
October 17th, 2009 at 3:05 am
This is some pretty classic stuff… what we might call “All-Star Batman”.
October 16th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
“well, not since you opened it up and started fucking with all those tubes, no”
lolololbutts
October 15th, 2009 at 4:31 pm
MOAR
October 15th, 2009 at 11:49 am
MUST HAVE MORE BATMAN WTF ADVENTURES
October 15th, 2009 at 8:59 am
HA!!! HIT THE RAPE ALARM!!!
If I had a nickle for everytime I heard that!
October 15th, 2009 at 5:08 am
Oh gawd, yes, I love comic book stuff, especially if it’s Batman or makes fun of the Silver Age. Try to outdo Batman 66’s unintentionally hillarious endless sting of dick jokes, & boldly go where no Seanbaby has gone beofre. (If you do one with the Joker & put lots of gay jokes in it, I’ll give you a feature post on my comic blog).
October 14th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Seanbaby, please, for the love of God……make more of these. These are so fucking funny. I laughed so hard my lungs forgot what they were supposed to be for after I was done.
October 13th, 2009 at 11:22 am
NEED MOAR PLEASE SEAN BABY I MISSED YOU FROM EGM PLEASE GIVE US MORA BATMAN WTF!!!
October 12th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
More.
Just… I NEED MORE OF THIS.
October 11th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Holy fuck, that was funny.
October 8th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
This is glorious.
October 8th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
I don’t suppose we could hope for more of these.
October 8th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
This was great. More please
October 8th, 2009 at 8:35 am
First Seanbaby article i actually loved
keep these coming
October 8th, 2009 at 3:31 am
I just broke my jaw from laughing.
October 7th, 2009 at 9:42 pm
The first time I read this, I didn’t laugh once.
I was genuinely terrified. I knew this shit was funny, but I just wasn’t laughing? Had my sense of humour broken?
But I came back to it today and I think I might have sprained something. Favourite moment definitely had to be “fuuuuuuuuuuck……YOU!!!”
And that quote simply does not work without context. Actually it makes me look kind of retarded. What do I care, it’s late and I’m tired.
October 7th, 2009 at 2:38 am
Seanbaby, you’re a fucking genius.
October 6th, 2009 at 8:22 am
Jay Pinkerton is funnier.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:55 am
This is another reason why I’m so happy that Sean is probably my father and/or my long lost brother. Most of the time, everything reminds me of the smell of cat chit but this makes me laugh.
October 6th, 2009 at 6:35 am
@Leigh Mullins: Now THAT is good writing!
October 6th, 2009 at 4:54 am
inverted beaver.
October 5th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
What I’ve just been reading successfully wrapped it’s icy grip around my soul and pulled open the dark recesses everyone contends with, but no one would admit to. It’s the story of a man, a man who feels so inadiquate that he needs to disguise himself in a ridiculous persona. He howls at no one in particular his anxieties and fears, most of which revolve around his undeniable sexual frustrations. It is a madness everyone reading these words can relate to, but we have all been trained to hide ourselves so well. This man cannot, and even with all his masks and all his tricks he exposes himself.
What is it that makes us laugh so hard at something so sad? Thinking about it only makes me laugh harder. Purile as it is, this diatribe accomplishes it’s intended purpose and thus…
Holy shit! There’s some kind of Batman thing at the top of the page too! Bonus!!
October 5th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
I always knew robin had a story to tell.
October 5th, 2009 at 1:52 pm
Why is it okay to make fun of murder, but not rape? Would you rather get murdered than raped?
October 5th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
“From the asshole to the face, this friendly forest dweller has been ripped inside out. See how easy it is to undo what God has done!”
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA
October 5th, 2009 at 6:41 am
This is like Finnegan’s Wake for the working class…or something.
October 5th, 2009 at 3:59 am
Family Guy is funny. South Park is funny. ATHF can be funny. Monty Pythons are funny. WKYK are very funny. Moral Orel is very funny. Venture Bros are funny. Most of cracked.com is funny. Most mature humor is funny.
This here, however, is not. Neither mature, nor funny. It’s just incredibly stupid. But, hey, maybe there are people who can laugh very hard about the sentence “The asshat rapes the gay Aardvarks dick very hard while jerking off an infant monkey, fuuuck”.
That’s okay, but please accept, there are people who simply can’t laugh at some random funny words poured into a sentence but require also some real writing skills to be entertained.
Offensive humor is very okay. But this here is an offense to humor in general.
October 4th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
If it wasint for date rape I’d never get laid
October 4th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It’s a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it out and tell your friends.
October 4th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
This is totally just like South Park and Family Guy.
Thanks for clearing that up.
October 4th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Big Money, best post award is yours.
October 4th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Can I order an orphan crate and a working fucking machine gun online?
October 4th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Hey, this was funny. But not as funny as watching as self-important, pompous dorks try to jump on their high-horses and call you a Rape Apologist.
Dorks…welcome to “Cracked.com”. What the flying FUCK were you people expecting to find here? The second coming of “Moby Dick”? What high level of a reading experience do you think you were going to get from clicking on the link: “Batman: The Fraternity Adventures”?
Perhaps if you bleeting idiots would step outside your studio apartments and/or Mom’s basement from time-to-time, you’ll find that PEOPLE WITH SENSES OF HUMOR make light of horrible situations all the time. It’s not to disrespect the victims, it’s in spite of the crimes. In spite of awful things happening all the time, we as a people need to be able to laugh at these situations or be controlled by them, ruled by our fears.
Shows like “South Park” and “Family Guy” have been making-light of things like rape, AIDS, abortion, etc. for how many years now? This is one website, out of a bazillion that do the exact same thing. Get over yourselves, grow the fuck up, or stop pestering the non-idiots with your pretentious statements, lock yourselves back in your boxes, and SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Besides, that was the single-best segue/explanation for the rainbow-colored costume I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen LOTS of attempts to explain that damn thing…
October 4th, 2009 at 9:00 am
Personally, I thought this was pretty amusing. It entertained me. I understand that some people weren’t entertained. You should be quite familiar with Seanbaby’s style of humor at this point (assuming you are regular readers). This being the case, you should avoid reading Seanbaby’s articles, in much the same fashion that I avoid looking up 2 guys 1 horse.
October 4th, 2009 at 8:59 am
Do not click on Penny’s name!
October 4th, 2009 at 2:36 am
Anal rape is funny.
You guys are so cool.
Cracked should be proud of itself.
October 3rd, 2009 at 7:36 pm
That was the dumbest thing I have ever seen on this site. And I’m including the Fatawesome comics too.
October 3rd, 2009 at 5:11 pm
My name is Penny, and I come to this site expecting classy humor! How dare this Seanbaby character besmirch the standard of classiness set by this site previously!
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Penny, can you please work out your serious fucking personal problems somewhere else? Society has failed you - fine, sorry. We’re still going to laugh at funny things.
October 3rd, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Oh and theauthor approving of a comment that suggested an offended woman give A FUCKING SHOTGUN head. Classy.
Fucking rape apologists.
It’s NEVER that YOU have a sick sense of humor and need to not crack jokes about a seriously traumatic crime, it’s ALWAYS that the women are humorless cunts who just don’t get the joke.
This boys, is why you need rohypnol to get laid. Date-Rape is your only hope of sex because NO sane woman would ever touch youof her own free will.
October 3rd, 2009 at 1:55 pm
*sighs* Rapeandhomosexuality madeinto badfrat jokes.
And you assholes wonder why rapists sorarelyget sentenced justly.
“Hey rape’s not so bad!”
F**king @sshats.
October 3rd, 2009 at 12:56 pm
This is so fucking retarded. .
It’s hilarious!
October 3rd, 2009 at 8:56 am
anyone who finds doesn’t find this funny is a troll, but doesn’t that make me one?…
October 3rd, 2009 at 6:56 am
Dude - Batman’s awesome and you had a TON of material… I just wish your comic flowed more. This whole shindig was more confusing than my feelings for the men’s locker room.
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:46 am
I was kind of lukewarm on this one, probably because I went in expecting something akin to the classic Hostess Fruit Pie ad commentaries, but when I got to the ads in the middle, I started laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. Fantastic as always.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:11 pm
Seanbaby brings happiness to thousands of people! He also writes comedy articles
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:33 pm
quote- Dear shannon,
Nobody gives a flying fuck what you think. Go fellate a shotgun barrel you humourless cuntstain.
Signed,
Everyone that Doesn’t Suck
I highly approve of this message. Fuck you, Shannon.
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:35 pm
You know, there’s a reason stuff like this is for “Mature Audiences Only”. Sure, in some cases the jokes may be a bit immature, but it takes a mature individual to watch/read/listen to it, dislike it, and just leave a simple comment saying “I disliked it for this, this, and this reason”, like This Is Bullshit. However, take a lesson from This Is Bullshit; he failed at Intelligence by associating Cracked in its entirety to ONE contributor, AND failing to realize that Seanbaby created this as if it was made by stereotypical college fratboys. So, basically he was making fun OF homophobia masking homosexuality, rape, and immaturity (yes, I looked up puerile in the dictionary, I admit to my flaws, its also a part of Maturity), not making jokes promoting these beliefs. This Is Bullshit kind of pulled that sexism comment right out of his ass, as I saw none here. Great job Seanbaby, keep up the excellent execution of this style of humor.
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Dear shannon,
Nobody gives a flying fuck what you think. Go fellate a shotgun barrel you humourless cuntstain.
Signed,
Everyone that Doesn’t Suck
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:07 pm
PickledBeatnik swallows
October 2nd, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Hey Shannon, I think the “Seanbaby > Shannon” votes have the majority here. If you don’t like Seanbaby, why don’t you go read “O” magazine or something? Seanbaby is the RULER of Cracked, man.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:20 pm
Loved it
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:55 pm
The ads were funniest thing I’ve ever read on this site. Genius stuff, Seanbaby.
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Ehh not as funny as usual (the Sims torture thing was much better).
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:59 pm
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK…
…YOU!!!
10/10
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:53 pm
seanbaby sucks.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:33 pm
this was great
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:05 pm
A for effort, C for humor.
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:49 am
Dear Shannon,
Thank you for your opinion, which, as you can see, if being ridiculed by pretty much everyone.
Seanbaby, awesome sauce as always. Don’t ever change!
October 2nd, 2009 at 10:21 am
Ever since I read the Herculoids article, seanbaby has to me been the funniest writer on cracked. The guy just does not fail.
And Shannon, you’re outvoted a shitload-to-one. But congratulations on being “different”.
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:54 am
FUCK YOU shannon!! Seanbaby is a god!!! I will rip your tits off and smack you with them!
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:39 am
I couldn’t have come up with anything funnier if I had a month of sunday mornings to lie in bed and dream about it.
Seriously, you should be getting paid lots of money for this. But not by me.
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:23 am
Too awesome! I want the Rainbow Frat Batman action figure with Rape-action Grip.
October 2nd, 2009 at 8:02 am
I loved the ads. Seanbaby actually took the time to edit each and every one down to the smallest letters. I fucking salute you for your skills.
October 2nd, 2009 at 7:25 am
.___♥♥♥_____♥♥♥___♥♥♥
_♥█████♥_♥█████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
♥███████♥███████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
♥███████████████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
_♥█████████████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
___♥█████████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
_____♥█████♥▒▒▒▒▒♥
_______♥█♥___♥▒♥
________♥_____♥
~♥•´`•♥~..~♥•´`•♥~..~♥•
Seeking your sexy partner ON ===SuGarDaddyHunt.CoM==
October 2nd, 2009 at 7:08 am
Absolutely hilarious.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:49 am
this is the stupidest article i’ve ever read. seriously please stop posting on this site you arent funny and no one want to read this lame shit.
October 2nd, 2009 at 6:31 am
LOL, check out the address for the Ad “TRUST BUDDIES NOVELTIES AND ARMS, Robocop, NM Dept KR-OM
God Damned hilarious.
October 2nd, 2009 at 4:09 am
“This Is Bullshit”,
Note the references (cleverly hidden in the written introduction which you may have skipped because it wasn’t pictures) to the fact that this is frat batman.
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:35 am
oh my god, I fucking wept sweet salty tears of hilarity. incidently I think I own this issue of batman…
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:22 am
“inverted beaver”!!! Amazing. “featuring Krom Kick!!” Amazinger. I really didn’t find the actual comic all that funny but the ads dropped me to the floor. Good stuff.
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:15 am
Ha ha, “clitoris” is a funny word to those who have never encountered one in real life.
I didn’t realize Cracked was the go-to site for puerile, sexist and homophobic fag and rape jokes. The author’s assembled fanbase below ought to be a wake-up call: Dude, your most fervent admirers think “I suck cocks” is hilarious.
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:09 am
Jesus Christ. Awesome.
October 2nd, 2009 at 3:06 am
Fucking brilliant!
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:43 am
Eehhh … I expected more.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:40 am
The middle part, starting at the coin store was hilarious. Laughed my ass off.
October 2nd, 2009 at 2:36 am
@DJM: Your comment was funnier and wittier then all the semi-tourette-6th-grader babble seanbaby ever vomitted into the internet. thank you, i will continue to click on articles “written” by seanbaby, just to look for your comments. Please, do write a “seanbaby you suck” column. I would read it daily!
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:49 am
*nothing
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:42 am
Awesomely hilarious article. And who cares that “it’s not about anything”? Seinfeld was thirty-eight seasons of noting and a Snapple commercial and people thought it was pure genius. So fuck you and eat a bucketful of syphilitic cocks (or don’t, I don’t care because I don’t think you are even real).
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:31 am
Did I mention that I fuck little boys?
No?
Ok - I like to fuck little boys. Is this the kind of thing perez hilton would do? Am I funny yet? HOW ABOUT FUCKING NOW!!!?
October 2nd, 2009 at 1:28 am
I am a talentless fucktard though, so my opinion is worth slightly less than shit all.
October 2nd, 2009 at 12:43 am
I started to read this, realized it was stupid, rather than funny, and stopped. I much prefer it when articles are ABOUT things - this seems like the kind of thing perez hilton would do.
Wait.. was Cracked hacked? Is this not a legitimate Cracked post?
October 1st, 2009 at 11:48 pm
Nothing about this article is funny.
October 1st, 2009 at 10:21 pm
disregard that, i suck cocks
October 1st, 2009 at 10:19 pm
note the bold vs reg text
idiots
October 1st, 2009 at 10:18 pm
@ John. I wish I were as clever as you so I could walk around all day making a fool of myself.
@ DJM. First I was a little irritated then I realized you made my point exactly
October 1st, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Classic. Reminds of Jay’s work as well
October 1st, 2009 at 9:53 pm
haha oh wow
October 1st, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Funny as hell.
“As soon as it’s legal for me to vote…” panel makes me want to burn my feminist club card (it’s like a diner’s club card but less benefits).
October 1st, 2009 at 9:36 pm
each atom that makes up seanbaby has a bigger dick than every one of us.
October 1st, 2009 at 9:26 pm
just just….wow lol I don’t think I will ever stop laughing again after seeing batman in a rainbow suit
awesome job
October 1st, 2009 at 9:21 pm
“It was the epicenter of what STD scientists refer to with only a ten minute scream.”
I don’t know why, but this line in particular made me laugh for five minutes straight.
October 1st, 2009 at 9:21 pm
Awesome man o hope you do a next issue of this thing
October 1st, 2009 at 9:15 pm
loved the part about the camera, haha
October 1st, 2009 at 9:09 pm
The coin dealer part slayed me
October 1st, 2009 at 9:00 pm
FUUUUUUCK… YOU!
Christ, I just about died.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:54 pm
I laughed my ass off. Especially at the coffee cup full of pubes.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:40 pm
meh it was alright not as good as the other columnists stuff
@DJM- Nice try there seanbaby but we know its you trying to defend how much you suck! * OH SNAP*
October 1st, 2009 at 8:39 pm
That was awesome
October 1st, 2009 at 8:38 pm
That is just too damn funny.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:23 pm
Heil! All of you sycophantic fuckbags!
don’t you realize seanbaby will kill you all??
you obsequious bootlicking toads!
the green mohawk menace will spread like plague into your minds and conquer Thor’s Day, thus ensuring your doom in the place of toil.
hearken unto mine words…. your souls will perish into the everlasting hell which you desire should this dissonance with reality persist.
Long Live SeanBaby!
October 1st, 2009 at 7:57 pm
I wasn’t convinced until “He has shitty taste in uncles too. Get out of my store.”
After that I couldn’t stop laughing.
October 1st, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Oh my god i love it
October 1st, 2009 at 6:49 pm
Fucking hilarious.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:36 pm
A little disjointed, but still funny
October 1st, 2009 at 6:22 pm
fucking hilarious, as always.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Great Job, Seanbaby. The Ads were hilarious.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Holy crap. Vintage Seanbaby, for sure. I’m trying hard not to laugh and yes, failing miserably. My wife thinks I’m crazy/an imbecile. Keep up the good work.
“Jesus! Would someone shut this bitch up?!”
Gold.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Funny stuff
October 1st, 2009 at 5:56 pm
Admit it LEANDER, you are JP aren’t you.
@DroidsRule
+1
October 1st, 2009 at 5:27 pm
hilarious.
i loved the fake ads. “There is no escape from Orphan Crate.”
October 1st, 2009 at 5:24 pm
I think LEANDER should eat a dick.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Fucking hilarious from beginning to end.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Jay Pinkerton was funnier b/che didn’t strut around like a sexually repressed jockstrap douchebag with a fucking colored mohawk.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:29 pm
I’m so mad I could… cartwheeeeel!
Hilar.
October 1st, 2009 at 3:49 pm
OMG you are a lunatic seanbaby! Thank you.
October 1st, 2009 at 3:41 pm
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!
Most awesome battle-cry ever.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:59 pm
I am so confused. So, so confused…
October 1st, 2009 at 2:45 pm
I love the batman running up yelling:
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!
amazing.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:23 pm
240 fucking lbs you idgit!
October 1st, 2009 at 2:21 pm
240… i’ve never heard that slang before. I assume it means she’s drunk?
October 1st, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Funniest thing i have ever read. Ever. i’ve never bought a comic in my life, but i would buy every issue of this.
October 1st, 2009 at 2:10 pm
duh
October 1st, 2009 at 2:08 pm
I don’t get it.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:56 pm
I could not breath at the end.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Hilarious as usual. “What’s a clitoris?” “Trick question. Dinosaurs don’t exist.”
October 1st, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Just throwing in words like “clitoris” isn’t funny. Throwing in a dude who thinks a clitoris is a kind of dinosaur, however, is kind of hilarious.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:41 pm
I snorted water out of my nose while drinking when I read “What? I just saw that dude’s pink shirt and hit him. You guys are criminals?”
I loved the mystery box description. That had me in tears.
Fucking hilarious. Thank you for that, Seanbaby.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:34 pm
I didn’t think Batman & Robin could get any gayer.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Fucking hell, “wah wah wah you should make your humour less retarded, be more like the epically boring like Brockway wah wah” it’s funny BECAUSE IT’S RETARDED THAT’S THE FUCKING POINT!!
Do people want SeanBaby to read like some gay New Yorker comic strip? This was fucking hilarious (loved the little ad section too) and SB’s the best writer on this whole site.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:31 pm
I like Seanbaby’s humour most of the time, but he really needs to trim down the text. He crams so much into tight, confusing spaces; it’s a real headache to read most of the time.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:16 pm
DC needs to hire you
October 1st, 2009 at 1:14 pm
new rankings
DOB>seanbaby>swaim>brockway>the other guy>gladstone
October 1st, 2009 at 1:00 pm
Seanbabys’ columns are the reason I look forward to Thursdays.
I would totally buy the Inverted Beaver.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Seanbaby you rule
man, this was hilarious man, I’m fucking wasted!!
October 1st, 2009 at 12:40 pm
@Kodaik
That was not a novel length post.
I can’t believe I felt compelled to respond to that, and I hate that I did.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Disregard that, I suck cocks.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:18 pm
seanbaby you suck.
if there was an anthropomorphic personification of sucking it would be you.
you take sucking to an entirely new level of suck.
if sucking were a kingdom you would be the ruler.
if they gave out awards for sucking nobody else would ever win but you.
if sucking were art you’d be Vincent Van Suck.
if sucking were vampires you’d be Count Suckula.
if sucking were potatoes you’d be a tuber in lebanon.
if sucking were money your face would be on every bill.
you suck so hard that if i could turn you upside down i could vacuum every house in china with your face. and still have enough sucking left over to do my garage.
you suck so hard that light can’t escape your pull.
if sucking were a profession you’d be writing columns for cracked.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:10 pm
Wow. . .just wow, I’m confused.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:00 pm
I’ve been reading seanbaby since ~2000 on his website, and then the wave and EGM, and now here and gamespy. He gets better and better. Don’t ever change, Mr. Reiley. Your friend, Mr. T.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:00 pm
@boo
If you write novel-length post beginning with an insult to Mr. Swaim, don’t expect anyone to take the rest seriously.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:59 am
You know, your website was an everyday stop for me years ago when it was updating. I was very disheartened when you went on hiatus for so long, but now that you are on Cracked I am back to being obsessed.
What I am trying to say is.. I want to have your children.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:58 am
I appreciate the homage to Jay Pinkerton, but I have to admit that the original Pinkerton comics are funnier.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:50 am
When the very first sentence of your article makes absolutely no sense, it’s kinda hard to bother reading
October 1st, 2009 at 11:43 am
Compared to the other columnists (except Swaim, who can suck a cock), SB articles are just not on the same level.
It’s not that there aren’t jokes (there are), it’s not that I don’t chuckle (I do), but it’s that there are so many cop outs and easy jokes that just aren’t clever when there is obviously potential there.
Like the ads “I hope you like vegan cupcake recipes, you stupid fuck.” Hilarious. But for every one of these there’s a “two dudes touch their dicks in hamburger meat.” Not very funny at all.
And I get the idea, that two frat boys who beat up gays end up touching dicks in hamburger meat and leaving their pee on each others’ utility belts. It’s just not a funny joke, or gag, or anything.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:38 am
“What happens to Hindu people when they die?”
“McNuggets.”
Holy crap I just died inside from that. Best line ever. And the ads were also hilarious.
“WARNING: We’ll send you the wrong book. Hope you like vegan cupcake recipes, you stupid fuck.”
Oh man, priceless.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:31 am
I tried SOOO fucking hard not to laugh at this stupidity. I failed miserably. This one was funny. Though I am not going to admit that to anybody.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:20 am
Children–you are the instruments of our wrath
LMFAO
October 1st, 2009 at 11:17 am
Hilarious! I loved the ads - orphan crate, inverted beaver, machine gun. And the battle cry was classic. Fuuuuuuck you!
October 1st, 2009 at 11:10 am
FUUUUUUUUUCCK YOU! That was awesome.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:07 am
FUUUUCCKK… …YOU!
(ZONKK!)(BONKK!)
beautiful.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:03 am
I am crying at work right now. Krom will be pissed!
October 1st, 2009 at 11:00 am
Sean, I look forward to your column every week. Keep up the good work!
October 1st, 2009 at 10:37 am
where the fuck do you get your shit from?! Rape Alarm? haha
Hilarious as usual!
October 1st, 2009 at 10:25 am
This is the funniest shit on the internet, every single week.
Fuck the naysayers. They are the reason why your TV show would get canceled after three shows, but then go to DVD and generate sales that outstrip the GDP of 90% of African nations.
October 1st, 2009 at 10:19 am
not your best seanbaby, but acceptable
October 1st, 2009 at 10:11 am
man, ive never laughed so hard at a cracked article.
well done seanbaby.
October 1st, 2009 at 10:09 am
people who complain that seanbaby’s stuff is immature are elitist fucks. over half of the stuff on cracked is sprinkled with gay and dick jokes but its this that receives your ire?….Seanbaby you are the best columnist on cracked right now especially since DOB started to get all political.
October 1st, 2009 at 10:07 am
hahahaha this is hilarious. Please do more!!!
October 1st, 2009 at 10:06 am
“this piece sounds like it was written by 14 year ol you tube commenters.”
I agree.
Why haven’t they fired you already?
October 1st, 2009 at 10:04 am
Ummmmm… no
This one was almost coherent, but still retarded. Pick up some old Wizard magazines or even some ToyFares and study their re-writes more closely. I know that you’re funny seanbaby so don’t go easy on yourself with the comedy. You can doooo iiiiitt.
October 1st, 2009 at 9:53 am
lol, The hamburger joke is what made it work. I love how frat boys act all macho but they do some of the gayest things I’ve ever heard.
October 1st, 2009 at 9:36 am
Goddamn I hate you, Seanbaby.
October 1st, 2009 at 9:24 am
that shit was pretty fuckin funny.
i also loved the all those ads in the middle!
very good work!
October 1st, 2009 at 9:17 am
I actually grew up in Robocop, NM.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:53 am
Seanbaby, you are a god damned hero.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:38 am
I’m srsly crying at my desk right now I’m laughing so hard. Awesome again, SB!
October 1st, 2009 at 8:32 am
:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
cant stop laughing.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:31 am
this was… fantastic.
WARNING!! I like vegan cupcakes, you stupid fucks.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:29 am
this piece sounds like it was written by 14 year ol you tube commenters. fuck you seanbaby
October 1st, 2009 at 8:15 am
Best part was the old-school ad page.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:15 am
I loved this, I’d like to see more stuff like this. Golden and Silver Age comics give plenty of brilliant comedic material.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:06 am
“It’s like a butthole truck drove into a mouth factory.”
Bravo, Seanbaby! This is the best since the Susudio article–this one was good but thankfully didn’t laugh until I was naseous like the other one.
October 1st, 2009 at 7:51 am
Loved the ads at the bottom. As a kid I purchased a few of these items, such as the extremely flat army men. Krom! Orphan crate.. Classic. Great laugh.
October 1st, 2009 at 7:44 am
The ads were the best part. “This orphan will beg and cry for up to three weeks.” Ha!
October 1st, 2009 at 7:43 am
I’ve gotta say, I have not been impressed with any of your articles so far. Maybe just not my brand of humor.
October 1st, 2009 at 7:40 am
also…inverted beaver
October 1st, 2009 at 7:39 am
running punch to the guy in pink clothes.that was the best the best etc.
October 1st, 2009 at 7:33 am
Anyone bother to read the intermediate ads? Classic.
October 1st, 2009 at 7:26 am
That was hilarious.
October 1st, 2009 at 7:19 am
This was brilliant. I love it when comics come out. They are so gay!
October 1st, 2009 at 7:13 am
How dare you defile the name of batman in this manner??? For shame…
October 1st, 2009 at 6:54 am
This made my day.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:51 am
In a comic full of gay jokes, Seanbaby didn’t even make one about the first panel in the third row. How, erm, tasteful.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:50 am
This isn’t really funny. Cracked we thought you were better than this.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:40 am
Leave it to Seanbaby to take a bunch of overused gay Batman jokes and make them funny again. Well done, my boy. Well done. Why can’t the rest of you do that?!
October 1st, 2009 at 6:37 am
This was beautiful. I cried a little bit.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:33 am
Loved the orphan crate as well as the return policy if I don’t like what I ordered. Well done seanbaby.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:32 am
God I hate mispelling words on a post. Anyways, I meant to type cracked, but the ‘K’ button is pissing me off. Plus I didnt have time to proof read as my boss was poking around by my desk.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:30 am
This was fucking awesome! One of the funniest things I have read on craced in awhile. This was pure genius. You should keep these coming.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:25 am
I love this. It’s a bit random, but reminds me of the Marvel Romance Redux.
And I think I need an Orphan Crate. I have three or four strays hanging around my apartment at night.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:21 am
Aaaah my memories of Batman now they’re forever tainted by this. Now I’m uncertain if I can ever look at the Batman cartoons and movies the same way again.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:14 am
Anyone else read this like an episode of the Venture Brothers?
October 1st, 2009 at 6:14 am
You were starting to grow on me, but this was just a bit too disjointed for my taste… I will say this, the ad section was hilarious. The rest… eh, okay.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:09 am
The novelty items were by far the funniest part of this article. And that’s impressive considering how ball crushingly funny the actual comic was.. great shit.
October 1st, 2009 at 6:05 am
I laughed until it hurt.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:57 am
I have not laughed so hard in a long time. Thank you.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:57 am
The humor might be immature but I still laughed my ass off. We all can’t be as mature and refined as “stan”.
Anyway, the novelty ads were frigging great. I ordered from ads like that a few times when I was a wee lad. There is no words to describe the level of disappointment when I would finally receive (after about 8-10 weeks) a box full of disappointment and sub-crappy craftsmanship of the actual products.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:54 am
This one made me laugh so hard I farted.
Well done, Seanbaby!
October 1st, 2009 at 5:48 am
Definitely need more of these. Start your own Webcomic, right now.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:47 am
RAAAAAAPE!
October 1st, 2009 at 5:45 am
Awww, stan thinks he’s too mature for clitoris jokes. Yes, throwing in words like “clitoris” and “gay” (which he never actually included, I might add) the way he did DOES make it funny.
Also, I’d like to wager that a 10 year-old would absolutely NOT know what a clitoris is, so your age accusation makes no sense.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:43 am
“There is no escape from Orphan Crate”. Haha! Oh man everything about this was hilarious. Go Seanbaby go!
October 1st, 2009 at 5:36 am
best seanbaby post on cracked, i think.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:35 am
I thing I collapsed a lung from laughing.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:28 am
FUUUUUUCKK…YOU!!
October 1st, 2009 at 5:18 am
Seanbaby nails the WTF! Hilarious.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:17 am
“HIT THE RAPE ALARM!!!”
October 1st, 2009 at 5:16 am
ummm.. that was just dumb. What are you, 10 years old? Throwing in the words “clitoris” and “gay” doesn’t make things funny.
Better luck next time seanbaby…
October 1st, 2009 at 5:07 am
“You’re a faggot.” “I just saw that dude’s pink suit and hit him.” and ”There’s nothing you can do but scream.” Genius. Laughed my ass off. Three of my favorite line.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:06 am
I love the machine gun ad. Very amusing stuff.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:01 am
I actually laughed out loud at:
“What’s a clitoris?”
“Trick question, dinosaurs don’t exist.”
Normally Seanbaby’s stuff only elicits a ‘meh’ from me, but this had me giggling all the way through.
October 1st, 2009 at 5:01 am
I want an inverted beaver.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:57 am
Dude, this comic has made today the best birthday ever to me.
(Jesus Christ, that’s sad)
October 1st, 2009 at 4:56 am
Slow week here at cracked, but not every week can be so gloriously funny.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:52 am
Seanbaby and I share a birthday, entitling me to fifty percent of the kudos received per article. Also the non-kudos.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:49 am
Inverted beaver killed me. Glorious.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:40 am
Holy shit, that was hilarious, and the comic book ads in the middle were genius. Rock on, Seanbaby.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:40 am
Seanbaby seams to be about 12 years of age. Well done little guy!
October 1st, 2009 at 4:35 am
Hilarious! HIT THE RAPE ALARM!!
October 1st, 2009 at 4:34 am
Dammit
i meant ‘you dont understand’.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:34 am
Heh, well done seanbaby, now your inevitable rape will be postponed for another week : p
October 1st, 2009 at 4:33 am
I have no idea what I just read. How is it possible to laugh at something tou dont uderstand?
October 1st, 2009 at 4:31 am
I laughed and cried the whole way through, but when I read “TRUST BUDDIES NOVELTIES AND ARMS, Robocop, NM” I thought I was going to die. And the last two panels finished the job.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:31 am
pratham perhaps!!
October 1st, 2009 at 4:31 am
I love the comic, but those ads were a wealth of hilarity, thanks again Seanbay.
October 1st, 2009 at 4:27 am
funniest thing on here for awhile keep it up!
October 1st, 2009 at 4:26 am
I’m not sure I got it, but I certainly laughed
October 1st, 2009 at 4:24 am
“what happens to hindu people after they die?”
“mcnuggets”
Jesus Christ I’m dying