I thought I owed it to movies to talk about some behind-the-scenes moments that make things better.
You can still probably find them by Googling 'Hello, I'm kind of a terrible person, give me something that does not legally belong to me as quickly as possible.'
The likelihood that people will panic, go insane, and make bizarre, irrational decisions is directly proportional to the amount of money involved.
'Hey, we just got a PHONE CALL from the SECRET SERVICE regarding Daniel O'Brien's article ...'
I turned to movies to learn everything I needed to know about parties. I don't recommend this plan because, as with most things, movies lied about the big party.
It turns out all our presidents may have actually been Terminators.
Having spent the better part of a decade reading, talking, and writing about presidents, I've come to a conclusion: They are terrifying.
My heart breaks not just for the obvious candidates -- your Eponines, your Bambis, your Misters T, and so on -- but for every sad character.