We have a lot to say about Kurt Vonnegut.
We narrowly averted disaster this time. I've asked my support crew to look into the matter and issue me some reports on the incident.
Because if LOTR taught us anything, it's that wizards in chemically altered states have all the answers.
They say there's no surer way to ruin a joke than by explaining it. Luckily, I'm terrible at what I do and a complete rebel that no one wants to step to.
What if, instead of going to Hogwarts and fighting Voldemort, Harry took his magic and his dumbest friend and hightailed it to America?
What if an 11-year-old Harry Potter had told Hagrid and Dumbledore they could piss right off with all that wizarding B.S.?
These are the Kickstarter projects that made my friends and me say, 'Well, surely we can do better than THAT.'
Indie filmmakers, heed my warnings. I have scrawled them here, like a madman's crooked notations on a napkin he hopes to somehow put in the hands of a former self, a younger self or a less haunted self.
Add it all up, pile on the disproportionate number of male war casualties worldwide, and you're left with the inescapable conclusion that most of the globe will soon be potpourri-scented and sensibly arranged.