Here’s Jessica Sierra, performing the king of all lame metaphor songs “Total Eclipse of the Heart” on American Idol in 2005:
Now here she is three days ago, right after getting arrested for fighting with three cops outside a club in Tampa:
Besides her radical, Madonna-esque reinvention as a meth-chic diva, how has Sierra helped nurture her stellar career in the music industry? Well, there was the obligatory sex tape, complete with yet another photo (right) that I’m sure has a special place on the Sierra family’s mantle.
Alright kids, who wants to watch that have sex?! See, when I watch it, it’s research for an article. When you people do it, it’s sick.
But the thing that elevates Jessica far above your average, ordinary self-destructing non-celebrity is contained in the last sentence of the AP article covering her most recent arrest:
“She entered a California rehab facility in July that was to be documented on VH1’s reality show “Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew” next year.”
The woman, or rather the Producer maliciously filming her unstoppable downward spiral to fill a couple hours in VH1’s programming schedule, is a marketing genius. After all, the only thing we like better than watching another human being elevated above the common throng and singled out by Paula Abdul for their extraordinary talent is watching someone ground so thoroughly under God’s boot heel (God has a Western thing) that this happens to them:
In related news, look for these exciting reality shows on VH1 next season!
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January 28th, 2008 at 2:00 am
Jessica Sierra first became known to the public when she was the third contestant to be eliminated from American Idol in 2005. Since her American Idol flunk out she has been in trouble with the law and been to jail many times for drugs, fighting, peeing in public and offering a bribe to a police office to blow him if he forgot the whole thing. LOL! The very nasty sex tape takes place at a nice little Motel 6 with 2 other black men and a woman that looks just like Paula Abdul. The flick is pretty damn long and good quality as they all go at each other like rabbits in heat!
DISCOUNT ON FULL UNCUT TAPE @ http://www.jessicasierra.net
ENJOY!
December 10th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
I was actually expecting the link to Rick Roll me, i was sadly disappointed.
December 10th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
That about as real as it gets there dude.
December 10th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Is she real? Or is she badly pixelated?
December 10th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
A Garth Brooks song was playing , I think.
December 10th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
I met her once ,in a trailer park.
December 10th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
I almost made the sex tape link a Rickroll, but I thought it’d be uncool to use it in the main section of an article.
December 10th, 2007 at 11:53 am
You promised me a sex tape Swaim! Years of internet porn watching have left me impotent to all but the realest of hoes. She is as real as it gets.
December 10th, 2007 at 11:50 am
Years of watching internet pornography featuring attractive women have left me impotent to anything but the “realest” of hoes. You promised me a sex tape Swaim! A sex tape with the realest of ho-hoes!
December 10th, 2007 at 11:10 am
1.) Those pictures almost made me vomit….
2.) Why do we keeping giving millions of dollars to idiots just because they have some talent to sing, act, or play sports? They aren’t really giving anything back to society we couldn’t live without, and too many of them throw it away to do stupid shit they wouldn’t need a million dollars to do in the first place. Sierra as noted above, Vick, Vick’s brother, Lohan, and Spears to name a few. Why do we keep giving these people money?
Can’t we tax these people heavily to give more money to the people in society that really matter? For example, police, firefighters, EMTs, and teachers? It’s almost criminal how little they get paid when you weight the benefit they provide against those with professions that are only for entertainment.
December 10th, 2007 at 10:51 am
“Who wants to watch that have sex?!”
I don’t know, but I definitely clicked that “obligatory sex tape” link under the assumption that it was going to take me to the actual video.