For some reason, I’m filled with a fetishistic glee at the ongoing demise of the record industry. Maybe it’s just the nerd in me thrilling to the birth of a new distribution medium, or maybe it’s that growing up, Dad used to break Velvet Revolver records on our backs when we were bad.
Whatever the case, I was pleased to see that even the most routine happening in the music world—like the start of the SXSW music festival in Austin—is as a matter of course paired with a discussion of record executives jumping out of office windows to their deaths and RIAA lawyers furiously and laughably suing people they choose at random off the street.
The next interesting thing to see will be where bands are making money once physical media is purchased only by anachronistic hold-outs who get off on self-indulgent liner notes (ie, Gladstone). The consensus in rock journalism seems to be that we’re going to return to the era of the wandering minstrel, when musicians earned their keep only through live performance and the occasional ballad about dragon slaying.
Which is romantic, but would probably lead to the premature dissolution of a lot of great, broke future bands. The more likely reality is that musicians will be getting a larger share of their own profits, and more directly, but they’ll have to be a little more clever about finding ways to generate it:
Of course they’ll have to offer a souvenir, like a nice signed photo of the sex act and a piece of chocolate with the band logo on it.
Speaking of Spitzer, there’s the new paradigm in action for you right there. Governor fucks prostitute, prostitute releases R&B singles online, prostitute becomes rich 98 cents at a time. That’s very likely to become a classic story as home production and distribution gets easier.
So I guess what I’m saying is entering a new age of music distribution isn’t necessarily going to make any of it any better. You’ll just get it differently. Like getting fucked in the ears with an ice pick instead of a seed drill. And that’s nice, right?
Vote for Michael’s entry in the YOUTUBE SKETCHIES II Semi-Finals by clicking this link, then “next video” on the randomizer until you see his (”The Hot Farts”), then on the thumbs up. Complicated, isn’t it? Well, do it once per day per registered youtube account.
Last 5 posts by Michael Swaim
- 2012 ... The Realistic Edition - January 7th, 2009
- The 8 Most Misguided Sci-Fi Versions Of 2008 - December 29th, 2008
- The 8 Best Internet Sketch Troupes Whose Initials Aren't TAM - December 15th, 2008
- The First 100 Days ... After: A Primer for George W. Bush - December 11th, 2008
- How Can We Be In A Recession If We've Got So Much Money? - December 10th, 2008
May 15th, 2008 at 8:29 am
The common man armed with a decent computer and a bit of showmanship & talent can put together some serious kick ass. What cost mega $$ back in the days of Kiss could be done for little using animation. The cost of distro is disappearing.
April 10th, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Many friends introduce me to join a dating site http://tallhub.com ,I had a try ,but there are all tall guys and girls ,I am short,I can log in ,why ?what it does?
April 10th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
HOTHOT!!!
I was once invited to a tall dating site ~~TALLHUB.COM, and it was surprising that after a
quick search, I found that there are many famous tall models, tall players and other tall
celebrities chatting on that page!!
March 19th, 2008 at 7:47 am
I got yer velvet revolver… riiight here! If you know what I’m sayin’!
March 18th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
It was hard to tell the difference when he was BEATING US. Also, sometimes he beat us with an actual velvet revolver.
March 18th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Velvet Revolver? Surely you mean Velvet Underground.
March 18th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Agh…I have Tallmingle ovipositors in my brain right now.
March 18th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Oh, she is pretty tall! I bet that so sexy girl,does she still play on tall dating site~~~~~~~Tallmingle.com ?I heard this many times from my friends playing on that site.
March 18th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Maybe that’s where Mister Spitzer met Ashley Dupre? How tall is she?
March 18th, 2008 at 8:48 am
Learn to spam comedy blogs at Tallmingle.com!
March 18th, 2008 at 7:03 am
Yeah, yeah, sure, fine. But can she sing? If so, does the rest of it even matter? I mean, that’s more then Jessica Simpson can do. At least Ashley Dupre is a genuine prostitute.
March 18th, 2008 at 4:20 am
so sexy girl,does she still play on tall dating site~~~~~~~Tallmingle.com ?I heard this many times from my friends playing on that site.
March 17th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Michael, sometimes it better not knowing. Only important information such as a rating system for high class whores is available to VIP people such as the CNN news team. Knowledge of the diamond system is restricted to people who watch Headline News and the Situation Room. The Fox News Channel isn’t as fortunate.
Flea is so upset, he might forget to take his abreva.
March 17th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
Can someone explain the diamond system to me? I still don’t get it. What are the parameters of the rating? This is important for me to know.
March 17th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Wonder if the X on her hand is like when Predators make an Alien kill they mark their faces, or when Panzer Tiger tanks during WW2 would destroy so many Allied tanks they would paint a ring around the gun turret.
Is she commemorating a whorish landmark? Maybe 100 guys equals an X, but 200 guys equals a big Z on her ring finger?
March 17th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
kingmonkey+1, regarding Blind Guardian, please see “The Bard’s Song” or “Skalds and Shadows.” They could totally make it work. Right?
Please, Internet, don’t let my metal die.
March 17th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Wow, she’s not a very good singer…and I bet she’s only like a three diamond hooker
March 17th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
KISS has always come off pretty forced and sad.
March 17th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
I was about to say Rihanna can hurt me if she likes, but she already has.
Little tip, never attempt to work out on an exercise bike whilest watching the video to Umbrella on the gym tv.
March 17th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Yeah, imagine a KISS stage show on a budget of a few hundred bucks. Something makes me think it’d come off pretty forced and sad.
March 17th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Oh it would change, Brian. Power metal bands would have to stop looking like barbarians, or dark wizards, as their prospective audiences would keep running away. And how could you respect a power metal band that looks harmless, like Weezer?
It could mean the end of fantasy based metal. Blind Guardian weeps.
March 17th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Well, given how I love Power Metal, that idea of wandering minstrels with ballads of dragon slaying doesn’t sound too far off from what I listen to now.
March 17th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I’m pretty sure that Rihanna’s Umbrella is trying to hurt me.
ELLA ELLA ELLA… and now it will hurt the rest of you too.
March 17th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Is that the only picture they have of her?????
This is soooooo cool!!!!!
http://www.fakebuddy.com
March 17th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Hey, call it hipster elitism if you want, but if you don’t listen to pop music, it won’t hurt you.
Unless of course it tries to, at which point you’re liable to defend yourself against its onslaught.
Not that that’ll ever happen.
Ahem.
March 17th, 2008 at 10:51 am
So in this future of musical prostitutes, do we think this will increase the quality of the music we are downloading or decrease it? I could see it going both ways that
A) Only people who truly love creating/ performing will be in the industry OR
B) Only people with a lot of big company money behind them will succeed and any facade of “musical integrity” would be washed away in a sea of consumerism.
Im guessing from the title that you are thinkin the latter. Depressing…
Also: What is with all of the tall people propaganda on this site? Are you all giants? Am I going to have to start pushing the midget agenda?
March 17th, 2008 at 10:21 am
Thanks alot Swaim, now I will be thinking about having sex with that dirty, filthy whore all day.
March 17th, 2008 at 9:50 am
WOW. so sexy girl,does she still play on the tall dating site ~~~ Tallmingle.com ~~~ ???The last time I saw her profile is last mondy, hope she does not leave.
March 17th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Man, that means the Alan Parsons Project could never exist in todays musical world. I’m going to cry.
March 17th, 2008 at 9:07 am
That is weird. I think it’s pretty clear that Miley and Dupre went to the same modeling/prostitution school.
March 17th, 2008 at 8:40 am
Is it true the Hot Farts are going to be there performing their new hit single” “shut up trina i hate you” ?
March 17th, 2008 at 8:31 am
I have to point out that there’s some kind of weird concordance between the photo of Ashley Dupre at the bottom of my post and the one of Miley Cyrus at the top of O’Brien’s.