Cracked Columnists

An Absolutely Horrific Way To Start Your Week: The Daily Nooner (EST)!

La Pequea Prohibida

I've been pretty firmly against the whole "dwarves are inherently funny" thing since 1999. That was the year that Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me was released, and in it, a little-known little person named Verne Troyer oh-so-preciously touched a pinky to the corner of his mouth as Mini-Me for the first time. The Austin Powers franchise makes me want to rub broken glass into my eyes, and as such, I haven't been able to laugh at a dwarf or midget ever since. The fact that the series has ruined dwarf/midget jokes for me is yet another reason to hate it, and this makes me want to rub broken glass into my eyes all over again with renewed enthusiasm.

It's a vicious cycle.

That being said, I give you "La Pequea Prohibida" (translation: The Tiny Thing That Haunts Your Nightmares). You know who this video makes me feel bad for? Dwarves who work in the insurance industry. Dwarves who work as mail clerks and Certified Public Accountants. Dwarves who earn a living by doing things that don't somehow involve them being, you know, dwarves. It's bad enough that when most people think of little people they think of either Mini-Me, Santa's elves or dwarf tossing, but now, to make matters even worse, we've got tiny, sexy crossdressers filling up YouTube with videos of themselves dancing around in pink sequined party dresses. As oddly compelling as this video is, I'm pretty sure it's setting back the plight of the hard-working dwarf by at least a few decades.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure it's doing wonders for the plight of the drunk, South American transvestite party dwarf. Lord knows they've been through a lot. Let's call it a mixed blessing.

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Ross Wolinsky

  • Rss

More by Ross Wolinsky:

See More
To turn on reply notifications, click here

19 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!