Ever since this whole War on Terror thing started, America has been slowly and steadily falling behind the rest of the world. Our money is worthless, our economy is in the shitter, and our standing as the leading global economic superpower is waning. Meanwhile Western Europe is sighing and shaking its collective head, China is too busy toiling around the clock like some crazy 1.3 billion-member ant colony to even notice, and the Dutch are sitting around laughing at pedophilia… and self-righteously defending their national identity on the internet.
Saving the world from evil-doers is all well and good, but it makes your country’s TV shows suck. Think about it: American Idol debuted in 2002, just nine months after 9/11. Coincidence? I think not. How did waging an unwinnable war against an invisible enemy turn a glorified karaoke competition into a #1 hit? I have no idea, but Ryan Seacrest doesn’t make me feel like everything is OK. If I had my choice, I’d much rather see some guy with an awesome Hitler moustache bouncing around inside a giant balloon when I turn on my TV during primetime.
Oddly enough, the Japanese haven’t even heard about the War on Terror. That might sound outlandish, but think about it: If you had shit like this on TV in your country, would you really be that concerned with global geopolitics? Nope - you’d just sit there on your couch, mouth agape, watching some guy with an awesome Hitler moustache bounce around inside a giant balloon. Then you’d get bored, change the channel, and watch something else equally awesome. Then you’d go to work for 18 hours and fall asleep on the train, but hey - at least you’d have some awesome shit to watch on TV when you got home.
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August 4th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Im proud that my pro-dutch rantings were interperated as national pride and not the longings ofa trapped westerner!
May 16th, 2008 at 1:30 am
I know these things are supposed to be jokes, but the jokes are supposed to be based in reality to some limited extent. All of the springboards for the jokes are completely wrong.
The Japanese police have been doing anti-terrorist exercises recently. Japanese T.V. makes American reality T.V. look like Masterpiece Theater. It’s a bunch of talking heads yammering on about some pointless bit of trivia like where the best tonkatsu can be had or which idol dances the best.
As Darkelf said, American T.V. is very popular in Japan. The cable channels carry 3 Fox networks (Fox Crime, Fox Life, and Fox), the Sci Fi channel, 2 Disney Channels, the Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, the History Channel, and a few HBO-style movie channels that feature 90% American movies for content. There is currently more American T.V. on Japanese T.V. than Japanese programming. The big tickets for rental are “24″ and “Lost”. Japanese T.V. bites and even the Japanese people believe that is so.
Also, seriously, the U.S. economy is not as bad as all the big whiners say. Food and gas are still cheaper there than other countries. If you come to Japan, you can look forward to paying $1 per apple and a $1.30 for 3.5 ounces of cheese and that’s when prices are low.
Writers have to stop making stuff up out of thin air about Japan. You think because it’s halfway around the world that no one will know you didn’t do even a basic Google search to check your assertions. At least base your jokes in something, anything, factual rather than making things up entirely.
May 14th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Japanese TV is great for nonsensical random stuff, like variety shows and game shows. However, in terms of anything with a decent story or good acting, it generally sucks (unless you’re a J-drama fan girl). Go ahead and live in Japan, you’ll notice most of the Tsutayas promoting Western shows and movies as their main draws.
May 14th, 2008 at 10:19 am
That might just be the most strangely awesome video I’ve ever seen on the internet. Highlights: around 1:20, when the woman in the studio begins to question her sanity, and then again at about 1:45 when she apparently decides reality as she knew it no longer exists.
May 12th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
in soviet russia, bubble gum eats you
May 12th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
That guy in the white and yellow shirt is he also the outfielder from Major League II and Major League: Back to the minors?
May 12th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Looks like something oughta Silent Hill at the end there
May 12th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
The US economy is the worse it’s been in years. For the first time since the early 1970’s
The US dollar is worth less than the Casnadian dollar.
When the ballon guy shrunk the balloon that was pretty cool.
May 12th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
The best Japanese game show I’ve ever seen was one where guys dress up as anime girls and go around offices getting women to kick them in the ass.
It was hilarious, apparently the women had to yell out something they hated about themselves, and then kick the guy in the ass. It was just pure entertainment.
May 12th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Don’t worry about the cyborg grandmas…I’m almost done with my cyborg grandchildren. No way can they resist that!
May 12th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
The US economy sucks atm, compared to its status a year ago.
Not only has your sub-prime mortgage crisis fucked up your own economy to a degree, it has also had repurcussions for the rest of the world too, plus, pretty much every country is strong vs the yen, try comparing the dollar to the pound sterling.
I can get almost two of your dollars for one of my pounds, awesome.
Whilst I do not believe the scaremongering (example: Washington analysts predicting 25% chance of global recession), neither can you say that your economy is doing well at the moment.
May 12th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
I’d pay to see that movie.
Only if they do it in the style of a 50’s B movie and call it Death….By Assisted Living.
May 12th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Holy crap, it’s jiggly puff!
May 12th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Actually, the US economy is doing relatively good compared to the rest of the world - unemployment is a fraction of Europe’s, the dollar is still strong against the yen… oh, hell, no one’s going to read that. Boring.
Here’s the fun fact - the Japs are hardly having any kids, but they’re living longer than ever. By 2030, there will be 4 ancient retired people for every kid. By 2040, there will be 6.
Which means it will royally SUCK to live in Japan. You won’t have a chance to watch wacky television, since your every waking minute will be spent running from grandpa to grandpa, changing their goddamn diapers.
Oh, the scientists talk about building robots to do this, but we all know this will end with cyborg grandmas destroying Tokyo.
May 12th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
I wish I lived in Japan
May 12th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Those sound effects made me feel like I was playing a video game, not watching television. That was sweet.
May 12th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
@Metalbrainsurgery: you misspelled “sense”.
May 12th, 2008 at 11:53 am
I love the Japanese, and you can too for $5
May 12th, 2008 at 11:46 am
According to CNN, they can’t get enough Doraemon.
cnn.com/WORLD/9705/02/cartoon.stamp
May 12th, 2008 at 11:45 am
yes, have penises. and make sence.
May 12th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Is there anything the Japanese can’t do?