A Touching Children's Book Written While High
A few weeks ago I related a charming anecdote about the Cracked offices that involved thinly veiled racism, sexual assault, rampant stupidity and may or may not have actively advocated huffing gasoline (several times). Then I figured: That would make a great children's book!
I was wrong, but here it is anyway.
You can pre-order Robert's book, Everything is Going to Kill Everybody: The Terrifyingly Real Ways the World Wants You Dead on Amazon, or find him on Twitter, Facebook and his own site, I Fight Robots, where you can read more awful children's stories, like the alternate version of "Where the Wild Things Are" that devolves into a horrifying man/beast orgy!
:I
ReplyIn a stunning paradox, even the lowest aim can fly right over my head :P
Again, nothing...what am I missing, did I forget to pay my humour bill this month or something?
Wow, a children's book even more fucked up than "Danny Donkey" Most impressive.
ReplyI want to read this in my English class.
ReplyI had such a great time reading your blog. I enjoyed every bit of it. It was both entertaining and informative. I hope this will not be your last post on subjects such as this. Thank you.
ReplyFrickin` awesome
Replyabsolutely hilarious!!
Reply1) the bearded lad looks like Benton Quest
Reply2) though funny, this is a shameless rip off of "baby's first deadpool book."
3) i doubt anyone has read that comic book
If no one has read it, then how could they rip it off?
Free love is no longer an option that we can take lightly any more so it seems there are a few alternatives to keeping it safe.So as a man, a single man I have turned to the internet to fulfill my desires at this time in my life.Sites on the internte provide me with a great alternatertative to fulfill my needs without the risksBeing that there is a wide vareiety of online sites to choose from it is hard to decide which one to go with..I as a man tend to go to the ones with the models that I enjoy.
ReplyHahaha! That was hilarious, and the pictures were ace too. Loved it.
ReplyAll in all pretty good, I mean wouldn't we all sacrifice a friend for a sweet backflip? Sucks to be that Marco, or Mario, or whatever that things name was.
ReplyUhm, I'm pretty sure CreatureFace was making fun of the cockstain who was complaining about the meter shit.
ReplyAnyways. Love it. Completely.
lol a thousand times lol
ReplyMy dick became hard while I read this. And it was all because of the awesome.
ReplyIt has already been stated that that wasn't the point of the article, CreatureFace. So, you know, go pound sand.
ReplyThe meter of this poem is terrible, just terrible. You see, I have no sense of humor or personal experience with a naked woman, however I do have a great deal of knowledge about proper meter. This my friend, is not it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go exfoliate my face with the jarred semen of a twelve year old Thai boy.
Replyplease, allow me to share, pore it in my hair, because i love to rock, Thai boys from bangkok.
dude
Replyawesomeness
and yes it should be read high ^^
look at the lava in the form of a flick.
ReplyLMAO @ quuensativa down there.....LLLLLLLLLLLLOL
Replyoh my lordy I nearly pee'd my panties! this was hilarious!! people need to thrill-ax and take a chill pill over the whole 'meter' thing. As far as i'm concerened, a meter is measuring term SO SHUT THE HELL UP
Replybrilliant
you deserve a caldecott medal for this. seriously.
Reply