A Step-By-Step Guide To Love On Tinder

With more and more people finding love online, dating apps like Tinder are the wave of the present. There's no more stigma to finding a match on the world wide internet, which means people are finding love, companionship, and an 80-percent increase in their chance of contracting syphilis. Here are some tips to help you avoid the fuckbois and Felicias, and find your perfect match using Tinder.

#12. Pick A Photo That Really Represents You

A good relationship is based on honesty, so don't start deceiving potential matches before you've even said hello. According to a 2014 study done at the University of Indiana, the number-one complaint about people on Tinder is that they don't look like their profile pictures.

Paul Vasarhelyi/iStock
"Whoa, who dis?"

Since you'll (hopefully) be meeting up in person anyhow, be honest and show them what you're working with! If they don't love you at your worst, then they don't deserve you at your best!

#11. Only Show Yourself At Your Best

Keep in mind that no one else on Tinder is being honest about their appearance, so showing even the slightest flaw will move you from "normal human with many positive traits" to "troll deserving of national scorn for thinking they are in any way lovable." You're competing in a vicious dating market that is awash in unrealistic expectations based on carefully-staged photos.

That's particularly bad news, because statistics from OKCupid show that the only thing that matters is how hot you look in your photo. When they asked users to rate profiles separately on personality and looks, they found that hot people rated highly on both scores, even when their profile contained no text whatsoever.

When you're murdering it this hard, words are just overkill.

The ugly people were supposedly rated as having worse personalities, but I can't confirm that, because I absolutely refused to look at their profiles.

So I can't stress this enough: Look really hot in your photo. This is especially important because first impressions are basically unchangeable, even in the face of facts.

Of course, since your picture has to be representative, this means you have to actually be really hot. By definition, that's going to be problematic for a majority of people, so focus your attention here.

Also, look interesting. But not in a conventional way. Pictures of people with tigers, travelling exotic locales, or participating in extreme activities have been done to death. Be sure to have pictures that are captivating for entirely new reasons. You might try discovering a new phase of matter, or something like that. Just make sure it photographs well.

This sweet young whippersnapper gets it.

Basically, make sure to actually be naturally strikingly beautiful, with an interesting life that is easily summed up in a completely novel single picture. Don't skimp on this part. Also, don't try too hard. Nothing is less attractive than someone trying too hard.

#10. Start Swiping!

Now that you've got a great profile, it's time to start swiping! Swipe right on the people who would be a good match for you, and swipe left on everyone else. The beauty of Tinder is that it's as simple as that!

#9. Actually, It's Not As Simple As That

If you're unsure about whom to swipe right on, here's a helpful tip: Take a piece of paper and write "What I'm looking for" at the top, then fill in all the traits of your ideal mate. Next, take another piece of paper and write "What will make me happy?" at the top, and leave this paper blank, because you actually have no idea what will make you happy.

Despite what most people think, having more options is likely to make you less happy with whatever you choose.

Catherine Lane/iStock
Spoken like someone who's never had two cards hit on the same bingo night.

Researchers in behavioral economics have also found that with more options, you're more likely to make worse decisions. So by opening up the can of worms that is Tinder, you may have ensured that you will have a worse outcome than if you had never done this in the first place. Causality's a bitch, isn't it?

Stare at the blank paper and reflect on what this means for your life in general. Should you have been a doctor?

#8. Seize The Day

The whole point of online dating is that it's a high throughput system. There's no substitute for experience, so it's time to get busy living. Pick one of your matches, set a time to meet, and throw caution to the wind!

#7. Retrieve Your Caution From The Wind

Did you know that people have been murdered on Tinder dates?

NI QIN/iStock
"It's true!"

That shouldn't be surprising, but it's something to think about as you agree to meet up with a complete stranger who treats bathrooms like Vogue cover shoots. In fact, serious crimes related to dating apps have exploded in the last two years. So maybe "throw caution to the wind" should actually be "carry mace."

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Aaron Kheifets

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