6 Hilarious Old-Timey Versions of Modern Vices The 5 Worst Things About Getting a Job in a Small Town The 6 Most Undeserving Lottery Winners in History
Cracked Columnists

A Rare Video Address From Anonymous to Scientology

When your organization consists of thousands of anonymous hackers, programmers, and Internet junkies, each working on their own authority towards a common goal, there's bound to be the occasional stray. This rare address to Scientology from an unknown member of Anonymous serves as a case in point:

Author's Note: Dear members of Anonymous, if you take offense at this video for any reason, I offer the following arguments against trying to hack, slash, or otherwise infiltrate my connectables:

1. Nothing in here is really aimed against you guys. In fact, I fully support anything that's against Scientology. See this video as evidence.

2. My MySpace profile is already choked with gay pornography. I doubt it could take any more.

3. I am bereft of lulz, and any attempt to extract them from me will only end in my retreating into my room with a hot fudge sundae and listening to Alanis Morissette tapes. Please, don't let that happen.


When not blogging for Cracked, Michael makes ANONYMOUS PLEASE DON'T HURT ME videos as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren't Muskets!

  • Random

Recommended For Your Pleasure

Michael Swaim

  • Rss

More by Michael Swaim:

See More
To turn on reply notifications, click here

67 Comments

The Cracked Podcast

Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

The Weekly Hit List

Sit back... Relax... We'll do all the work.
Get a weekly update on the best at Cracked. Subscribe now!