When your organization consists of thousands of anonymous hackers, programmers, and Internet junkies, each working on their own authority towards a common goal, there’s bound to be the occasional stray. This rare address to Scientology from an unknown member of Anonymous serves as a case in point:
Author’s Note: Dear members of Anonymous, if you take offense at this video for any reason, I offer the following arguments against trying to hack, slash, or otherwise infiltrate my connectables:
1. Nothing in here is really aimed against you guys. In fact, I fully support anything that’s against Scientology. See this video as evidence.
2. My MySpace profile is already choked with gay pornography. I doubt it could take any more.
3. I am bereft of lulz, and any attempt to extract them from me will only end in my retreating into my room with a hot fudge sundae and listening to Alanis Morissette tapes. Please, don’t let that happen.
When not blogging for Cracked, Michael makes ANONYMOUS PLEASE DON’T HURT ME videos as head writer and co-founder of Those Aren’t Muskets!
This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 30th, 2008 at 8:00 am and is filed under Anonymous, If Cracked Goes Offline Tomorrow You'll Know Why, Scientology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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July 27th, 2009 at 4:31 am
Sounds like the voice from Gantz Abidged…
July 20th, 2009 at 7:15 am
i love every part of this.
im pretty sure anon likes the swaim, so dont worry…….
March 21st, 2009 at 4:42 am
Nice, good for a laugh now and then.
March 20th, 2009 at 7:32 am
Dear anonymous,
Fuck off.
Love Anonymous xx
February 12th, 2009 at 5:54 am
Scientology does not allow questioning or ridicule of its dictums.
Anonymous does.
Why does scientology believe it will win when humankind is made up of people who like to laugh?
February 9th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Lul.
September 30th, 2008 at 2:29 am
LOL
that doesn’t even make any sense!
September 24th, 2008 at 3:14 am
Good stuff! I still fully support Anonymous, but this is a good laugh break!
September 1st, 2008 at 10:38 pm
We approve. The lulz are appreciated; carry on, good sir. Carry on.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:29 am
Lol, Hilarious:)
May 29th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Good one, mate.
By the way, a bit of humour never hurt anyone.
Only malicious bastards and quasi-religious zealots would hack you for this.
Stop worrying.
May 12th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
lulz.
i think cracked.com is a pretty cool guy. eh makes fun of anonymous and doesn’t afraid of anything
HITCHCOCK
April 13th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Underage b&
March 25th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
You’re on ED. Under attentionwhores. Lulz.
March 9th, 2008 at 11:19 am
3 where to buy a fastsize…
FastSize Extender Device For Men…
March 7th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Hi webmaster!
March 7th, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Hi webmaster!
March 7th, 2008 at 12:26 am
Well played Sir!
March 6th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
That are made of win.
March 6th, 2008 at 9:35 am
It’s called a joke josh
And I wonder if any of the anons are actaully anons.
February 17th, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Lulz.
February 13th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Oh god, that woman is too annoying to listen to.
February 9th, 2008 at 5:55 am
This is lame, if you’re going to make fun of some one dont post a “please dont hack me!” with it.
grow some balls kid
February 7th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
thanks for teh lulz
February 5th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Just to keep you up to date, glenndoor42: as soon as the renovations are done (new bedroom with bunk beds, an extra bathromm, and a fully-equipped sex gymnasium) I’ll have someone come by to pick up the wife and kids. Oh, and the $1500.00.
February 4th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
That was hilarious!
The difference, you will find, between Anonymous and other organizations is that we A) appreciate anything that publicizes our cause, and B) do not attempt to stifle free speech and free expression. Unlike our opponents.
You have nothing to fear, I believe.
February 3rd, 2008 at 6:12 pm
I lol’d
February 3rd, 2008 at 4:12 pm
This is admirable, however beware. If you break rules 1 & 2 and hinder our progress, we will rise up and crush you.
February 3rd, 2008 at 3:08 pm
“Inseminated some of your followers?”
February 2nd, 2008 at 7:33 pm
We shall leave you. For now.
February 2nd, 2008 at 6:04 pm
in b4 butthurt. I hope Anonymous can take a joke :P.
February 2nd, 2008 at 1:54 pm
Well, coming from the master of comedic maggot snot I’ll take that as a compliment.I’m working up to making fun of dead babies and sketch artists. I also has been completely off the pain meds for a week and a half now, thank you very much.
All of the above comments are a more accurate reflection of my lovable personality.
February 2nd, 2008 at 10:39 am
Good to see glendoor42’s still taking his pain meds. How dare you joke about the sanctity of marriage and your precious brood. You make me sick, sir. You and your comedic maggot snot.
February 1st, 2008 at 3:39 pm
I’ ll tell you what kingmonkey, I’ll pay you $438.00 to take her and the four kids. Three of the little fucking darlings are driving now and the fourth will be driving in less than a year.
Shit, I pay more than $438.00 a month in goddamn car insurance and one of them had an accident last Friday (she’s is not hurt)so that premium going up like a fucking Saturn V rocket with the devil on it’s ass.
Hell yeah, take’em, take’em all. I’ll pay you a $1000.00, fuck, $1500.00.At least take Mrs.glendoor42 and the two kids that look like you, please. Just tell me where to send the money. I’ll even pay for rodeo clown school.
February 1st, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Oh God, I feel so used. Mrs.glendoor42… how could you do this to me? After we planned your husband’s urder-may so meticulously, I thought you were serious. We were all set to collect the insurance money ($438.00) and move to Montana together to live out our dreams as rodeo clowns.
February 1st, 2008 at 9:24 am
She told me it was real funny.
February 1st, 2008 at 8:32 am
Damn that woman! She told me what we shared was real!
February 1st, 2008 at 3:57 am
Wahahahahah!
That’ll be a classic!
January 31st, 2008 at 5:43 pm
@kingmonkey , I told my wife you said hi…….. but she just laughed.
January 31st, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Anonymous is amused. Proceed.
January 31st, 2008 at 10:52 am
I agree with glendoor42. Sex with his wife is pretty good and sometimes funny. By the way, tell her I said ‘hi!’
January 31st, 2008 at 10:25 am
Yeah well, sex with my wife has been done countless times before, mostly by me and It’s still pretty good and sometimes funny.
January 31st, 2008 at 2:04 am
I couldn’t even watch this all the way throgh. Not only has this type of thing been done countless times before, it wasn’t all that funny to begin with.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:15 am
Fantastic. That’s all.
January 30th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Anonymous = LOL PWNT
January 30th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
Win
January 30th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Anonymous are pleased.
You give good lulz.
January 30th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
The look Anonymous gives after Jack tells him to watch his language absolutely makes the
video. I’ve watched this thing fifteen times today. It’s almost as good as the dancing bear
video.Though I think the bear was a little more professional in his acting.
January 30th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Anonymous Video Spoof | Deliggit.com…
cracked.com
Member of anonymous gets interrupted by his mother while recording an anti-Scientolog…
January 30th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Hooray for Anon!
Hopefully they go after more prominent cults next - i.e. Islam, Catholic, Mormon, Organized Religions in general are a disease and should be treated as such…
January 30th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
WELL DONE.
January 30th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
It’s good to know that if Anonymous goes too far in their crusade, that the mighty hand of Jack will be there to save us all and put them in their place.
January 30th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Isn’t there SOMEONE who can put an end to the tiresome parade of quasi-reality shows we are being tortured with while the writers strike and get the Musket videos on TV?????????
January 30th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Hahahahahahaha……………Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!
January 30th, 2008 at 10:50 am
lol, Adam Sandler wants his ‘Jewish mother’ back.
January 30th, 2008 at 10:47 am
$5.00 Question
Apple Inc. manufactures 160 GB I-Pods. That is enough memory to hold 40,000 songs. Apple I-Tunes then charges $1.00 for every downloaded song. Simple math calculates that if you were to buy enough songs to max out the I-Pod capacity, you would be spending a grand total of $40,000. Do you really think Apple Inc. expects you to legally acquire $40,000 worth of songs? Or do you think Apple Inc. is instigating copyright infringement?
win $5.00 at Askyew.com_
Askyew.com_
January 30th, 2008 at 10:15 am
That was freakin’ hilarious, son.
January 30th, 2008 at 8:39 am
I didn’t know Stephen Hawking’s name was Jeremy, or that he lived with his mom, or that he was ardently anti-scientology (and possibly anti-stepdad, anti-meatloaf, or anti-grape-juice).
January 30th, 2008 at 8:20 am
If anonymous doesn’t want his grape juice and meatloaf then I’ll have it.
January 30th, 2008 at 8:07 am
Brilliant.
January 30th, 2008 at 8:02 am
Oh Anonymous, will you ever win?
Nice vid.