If Mothers Took Over the Internet
As much as we love our (and others') mothers, they still don't seem to get the appreciation they deserve. Moms simply don't have time for the bullshit to which we subject ourselves to every day. They don't spend all day tweeting about Smiley Virus's abhorrent new music video, they're not clamoring for the smallest tidbit concerning Christopher Nolan's years-from-now third Batman film, and they don't plotz over the latest fan-made scene from a Street Fighter movie that doesn't actually exist. They have better things to do, like take care of your stupid ass.
Today, though, is their day, and they deserve to take control of the Internet that we so frequently take for granted (just like their love). So Happy Mother's Day, moms. You can have the Internet today. Just please give it back to us in one piece.
Babelfish
Texts From Last Night
Facebook
CRACKED
Google
Cody loves his mother, as you should love yours. You can find him on Facebook and Twitter, though you can not find his mother there. (Thank God.)









I wish MY mom made exceptions for cat videos...
ReplyI liked this, but I'm very seriously wondering if Cody took this from a photoshop contest.
ReplyCody, I haven't read your stuff in quite a while, but this is excellent. I might have to start again.
ReplyI had a hard time keeping it together reading this. Honestly, what's with the trend of Cody-hate? I find him genuinely entertaining and fresh from the usual stuff 'round these parts :D
Replymmmmmmhmm!
I love the "7 things you are doing (that are breaking my heart)". Great article.
Replylol fat guys on chatroulette
ReplyI bet you're a fat guy on chatroulette.
I thought this was a great article! A piece of comedy doesn't necessarily have to be loaded with memes, negativity and obscenity to be funny, after all. It's just a different flavor than usual.
Replyreaded with straight face, good idea, but to many unexploted possibilities
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI wonder if there's been a column dedicated to mocking people who think "readed" is a word. That's an opportunity that deserves to be exploited. Hella exploited.
Just to ask, what's this whole "hella" slang thing? I feel like a git for being spacy enough not to get it, but I'm still a tad bit confused.
Hella = Hell of.
cmon guys be nice. he really is trying to be funny (i think). It must be hard living in Seanbaby's humor's penis' gigantic shadow. Thanks for the article Cody. Thanks for making Seanbaby seem that much funnier by comparison. I think Wal-mart needs some stock-people. good luck
ReplyI think I'd like to meet Cody's mom...
ReplyShe's a good mom..
I think this is the first time I've read something on Cracked with a straight face.
ReplyI usually hate everything Cody does because it's so full of suckage. I thought he had run out of material since we hadn't seen an article from him in a while since Lost ended. But this was actually good for a couple chuckles. Keep up the sub par work Cody.
ReplyReminded me of a college humor style article, which is a terrible, terrible thing.
ReplyI realize this is a deviation from your usual style towards what could be called the Cracked mainstream - lists and funny Photoshopped pictures - which seems like kind of a shame, since what you were doing before was at least unique and, technically, uniqueness should be encouraged...
ReplyBut the sad truth is that I liked this a lot better than most of your more unique things, even while I know that this is a textbook example of 'why we can't have nice things' and 'why success eventually becomes synonymous with cookiecutter bulls**t'. I'll try to be ashamed of my contribution to the destruction of artistic integrity when I stop laughing.
Pander to me, baby. People will probably b***h less as a result, so I guess there's at least some upside...
i'm a wittle baby...why is people on de intewnet so mean?
Reply7 things you're doing that are breaking my heart=Definitely the best part. But I have to say, dearie, you have misrepresented preteen/teen girls, if not women in general. We're more whiny and annoying.
ReplyI know right, we're like total biatchz....
And some of us hate Bieber and Twilight.
This really made me LOL, keep up the great work Cody!
ReplyWell I am pleasantly surprised, that was awesome. And to all the people whining about the inaccuracy of this, just cause your mom is not like that it doesn't mean there aren't moms like that out there. I know my mom would hack the s**t out of youtube to make it look like that if she could.
ReplyFUCKING WRITE A NEW ARTICLE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING BRAINSLUG.
ReplyLong live us, the brain slugs.
Heh, Cody's getting better....this was actually pretty good....
Reply