You do realize that a person referring to themselves or a group to which they belong as being literate doesn’t actually qualify as an objective observer, right? I’m not saying you’re wrong (though I’m certainly open to the possibility), but it’s about as believable as “you should know that I’m a fucking genius”.

Secondly, “Kitty Pidgin” as you call it, is not a scientifically accurate idea of how a cat would speak, should it develop vocal chords. As a matter of fact, it’s not based on anything, and pretending it is is just a retcon. What - cats would use bad grammar? Maybe they’d somehow pronounce ‘hi’ as ‘hai’, and how are they different? Or is that just a half-assed excuse to justify the cutesy misspellings and pretend that they’re something other than ‘just cute’? Given the predilection for invented homophones, I’m thinking the latter.

Grandiose self-justification aside, it’s a series of idiot misspellings, bad grammar and phonetic nonsense that gets repeated by stupid people all over the internet because they think it makes them interesting. “Kitty Pidgin” is to language what South Park is to the ability to think.

I mean, if you want to say that it’s harmless fun, that’s fine. Have at it. If you want to say that it’s cute, then I don’t think anyone would complain. Even if you pretend that the people who pop up elsewhere and use it as though it’s a legitimate means of communication (wait, if it’s a language than perhaps I can get mods to kick those who use it in English-only rooms and boards . . . that’s a thought!) are something other than annoying douchebags, that’s OK. But stop pretending it’s a bold fucking linguistic experiment. We already had one of those, it’s called Esperanto. “Kitty Pidgin” is it’s overweight, basement-dwelling retarded cousin.

And bear in mind that I’m really giving the benefit of the doubt, there. Because if someone were to pretend that this debacle has any value other than ‘a linguistic curiosity’, then they may well be dangerously deranged. There is literally no real-world application of this, other than to waste the time of people who might otherwise be able to do something constructive with their time. But that poses in interesting philosophical conundrum: could the sort of person intrigued by LOLcats EVER contribute something of value to society? Hm. An interesting question. I’m going to say ‘no’.

Also, you can now process some words online with your buddies for fun, thanks to Google Docs! World of Warcraft can suck it.

Did you SEE League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?