Cracked Columnists
5 Things No One Can Teach You About Being Funny
There are some things about being funny that no one can teach you. If you decide to pursue comedy as a career, you'll inevitably encounter these things.
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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0 4 Bad Movies That Could Be Awesome Remakes
I do this as an optimist. I think these movies deserve another chance. We can rebuild them. We have the technology.
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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4 Hilarious Self-Help Books for Crazy Old People
Some of the stupidest books I own are for a group everyone eventually joins -- the elderly.
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- By Seanbaby
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6 Bizarre Ways to Stop Yourself From Masturbating
For the benefit of those wankerati and the just plain curious, I figured I'd check out some of the anti-jiggletime suggestions and try them out myself.
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- By Felix Clay
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5 Revenge Products: A Buyer's Guide for Psychopaths
Are you sick of product reviews that don't cover the issues that matter to you? Well hold on to your butts.
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- By Robert Brockway
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4 Words We Love to Use That Have Lost All Meaning
I'd like to request that we drag these words out this one last time, fill up the tub and hold them underwater until they stop moving. Or just quit using them, either one is fine, really.
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- By Soren Bowie
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6 Design Flaws That Annoy You Every Day (And Why They Exist)
We've documented six everyday annoyances that exist for wholly legitimate yet completely infuriating business reasons.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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The 5 Saddest Prostitutes in the World
There's a terrible underside to prostitution, and I'm not even talking about the underside of a prostitute
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- By Felix Clay
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The 5 Most Insane Moments in Indian Comic Books
1980s Indian comic books were the best. Sometimes the English translation was baffling, other times the plots were inscrutable, and -- if you were really lucky -- these twain did meet.
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- By Cyriaque Lamar
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4 Pros and Cons of Having a Personal Helper Monkey
In order to evaluate the awesomeness of a monkey helper, I did the only rational thing -- I acquired a helper monkey. Which is to say I sent an email and was told no, I cannot have a helper monkey because look how not disabled I am.
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- By Felix Clay
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3 Insane Spider-Man Movies You Won't Believe Almost Got Made
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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8 Cutting-Edge Fashions That Are Clearly Practical Jokes
Well, at least we have a bunch of pictures to laugh at.
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- By Kristi Harrison
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The 7 Best Ideas for Video Games (That Will Never Get Made)
Within, you'll find just a small sampling of games so ingenious you'll punch your own crotch just to distract you from the pain of not owning them.
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- By Robert Brockway
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5 Movie Monsters Ripped from the Pages of History Books
Sometimes that whole 'man is the real monster' bit is a tad more literal.
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- By Brendan McGinley
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The 5 Worst Things You See While Working in Fast Food
If you've ever earned your keep by flipping burgers, you already know what kind of horrifying sights await anyone brave enough to venture into the greasy back room of a fast food restaurant.
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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