Cracked Columnists
The 7 Easiest Olympic Events to Win a Medal In
Like many of you, I spent most of the past weekend elbow deep in a bag of Cheetos while watching the Olympics.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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0 6 Pop Culture Icons Nobody Admits They Were Attracted To
My sexual awakening was a slow, shameful thing spurred forth by a handful of pop culture icons that, for one reason or another, stirred something vaguely confusing deep inside me and will now be used to stir something vaguely offputting in all of you.
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- By Ian Fortey
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4 Things I Missed About 'The Twilight Zone' as a Kid
I'd never watched the Twilight Zone as an adult, but viewing them in quick succession taught me some things I'd missed as a child.
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- By Gladstone
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The 10 Most Absurdly Expensive Products on Amazon.com
Like most of you, I grew up in a place where every local used car dealer and mattress retailer was crazy. It was the only way to explain their insane prices! If those guys went on Amazon.com, their heads would explode.
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- By Seanbaby
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I Created Kristen Stewart: An Apology
The year was 2002. A young Gary Busey was wowing us all in Slap Shot 2: Breaking the Ice, and some upstart Canadians called Nickelback were teaching us all how to rock again. And how to love. And your humble narrator? I was up to my nuts in Hollywood intrigue.
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- By Ian Fortey
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4 Delusional People You Meet Working on the Internet
Like any other job that involves dealing with the public, you meet some interesting people along the way. I'm going to talk about one group in particular today: the delusional.
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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The 4 Most Meaningless Arguments Against Gun Control
We need to stop saying the following four things, because they lead to nowhere. And as we all know, nothing gets done nowhere.
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- By Cody Johnston
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3 Reasons to Hate Casual Video Games
All these games rope you in, and then only after hours of wasted time do you realize what a stupid mistake you made.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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5 Reasons Why Some People Love Cars So Damn Much
I figured I'd give a go at explaining this baffling affection, and maybe shed some light on what makes the box that occasionally takes you to the store something more special.
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- By Robert Brockway
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The 7 Most Common CGI Screw-Ups (Explained)
If you've watched movies in the past 10 years, you've probably at some point complained about horrible CG, because you movie viewers are ungrateful little jackanapes. Well, here's why it's so bad.
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- By Christina H
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5 Terrible Jobs Anyone Can (And No One Should) Do
Some jobs out there seem to be suitable for everyone, yet once you actually start doing them, you realize they're at a level of soul-shattering awfulness heretofore unexperienced by many.
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- By Ian Fortey
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6 Man-Made Materials You Won't Believe Exist
'Man-made materials' make most people think of disastrous fashion, or whine about how things were better when everything was natural and green. But we invented doors and electrical supplies to keep her out, and some of us have been building incredible unnatural things ever since.
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- By Luke McKinney
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7 Ways Batman Is Objectively Better Than Superman
Like many arguments online, one side is backed up by intelligence and careful preparation while the other only keeps going because arguments just bounce off its stupid invulnerable skin.
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- By Luke McKinney
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3 Things We Have to Accept About Life After Nolan's Batman
I've thought a lot about this trilogy. So you'll have to trust me when I say that, as much as I've been looking forward to the conclusion of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, I've also sort of feared it.
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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5 Famously Terrible Movies (That Actually Don't Suck)
Some of these duds just don't deserve their reputations. Instead, the public had some agenda for hating that far outweighed anything that ever happened on screen.
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- By Gladstone
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