Cracked Columnists
5 Alcohol Ads That Confirm Your Worst Fears About Drinking
Unfortunately for these brands, all they did was subliminally confirm that getting hammered brings out the worst in a person.
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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0 26 Items from the Worst Gift Catalog Possible
May your wrens be lively, and your pickled plums inedible.
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- By Brendan McGinley
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4 Dangerously Influential Dimwits
There are those people who have been elevated to a position of authority, rightly or wrongly, who use their power and influence to spread their wrongheaded beliefs, not just to the benefit of ignorance, but to the dangerous detriment of those who believe them.
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- By Felix Clay
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The 4 Craziest Holiday Episodes of '80s Cartoons
While most Christmas things are presents for the kids, cartoon Christmas episodes are presents for the parents: They're the only sure way to get the kids to just sit down for a bit, sweetie, Mommy and Daddy are very tired. Which may be why parents in the 1980s didn't notice that their kids were watching solid crazy.
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- By Luke McKinney
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13 Awesome Photos That Will Make You Happy to Be Alive
Sometimes you need to take a few moments to wipe away the world's grime from your eyes and refill your soul with anything that brings you joy. So here you go.
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- By Kristi Harrison
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4 Things Hollywood Gets Wrong About the Holidays
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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The 5 Most Disturbing Tween TV Show Universes
The problem with most tween TV, beyond the obvious, is the depressing and unfortunate world each one presents and never acknowledges.
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- By Felix Clay
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3 Reasons You Shouldn't Play the Best Video Game of the Year
If you can't figure out a way to have a hell of a lot of fun with a bottle of whiskey and a python, then some measly video game certainly isn't going to fix the giant black hole in your soul.
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- By Robert Brockway
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A Letter to My Neighbors About My Dubstep Lightshow
First of all, happy holidays! I hope this letter finds you and your families well during the season of good cheer.
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- By Soren Bowie
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5 Ways to Actually Steal Christmas
Like a lot of you, I am basically a monster, and as is the case every year, this holiday season has filled me with bile.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person
You're going to hate hearing this. My only defense is that this is what I wish somebody had said to me around 1995 or so.
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- By Jason Pargin
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5 Celebrities Who Get More Hate Than They Deserve (Part 3)
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- By Adam Tod Brown
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5 Questions That Need to Be Banned from Casual Conversation
Here are five seemingly well-meaning questions that should probably be avoided.
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- By Gladstone
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5 Videos That Will Brighten Your Day
There's a lot of negativity in the world, some of it even coming from me. Allow to make up a tiny bit for that.
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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The 10 Most Depressingly Unfunny Gag Gifts
Gag gifts are suck gifts. They suck the funny from a room as sure as a porn star will suck a suckable something.
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- By Felix Clay
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