Cracked Columnists
If Tiger Woods' Apology Was Honest
It is a hard, lonely and, yes, ass-filled world.
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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Is it Gay or is it Maxim? A (Surprisingly Hard) Magazine Ad Quiz
Maxim seems to be written for the same normal, date-raping frat boys it always was. But the advertisements seem to think differently, and if you have to pick between common sense and advertising, always go with advertising.
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- By Seanbaby
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Unlikely Survival Guide: So you've been challenged to a duel
As it happens, this naked high speed approach into antebellum America interrupted the afternoon promenade of a southern gentleman and his teenage sister. Whether it was your manner of dress, or the string of profanities you uttered as you skidded to a halt ass-first on their finely manicured lawn, your presence has greatly disturbed them.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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The Game Helpin' Squad
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- By Cody Johnston
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Tiger Woods Admits To Being Golfer
In a press conference this morning, golfer Tiger Woods admitted to the world that he is, indeed, a golfer.
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- By Cody Johnston
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If The Internet Wins The Nobel: A Proposed Acceptance Speech
Yes, they nominated the internet. If it wins, here\'s how the speech will go.
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- By Robert Brockway
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If Old School Comics Were Even Manlier: F#@kin'-A Comics
Man-busting action! Man-pounding thrills! Everything that man is, Man Comics rocks it!
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- By Seanbaby
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'I hate cancer patients': John Mayer is Too Candid (Again)
MAYER: You never see pictures of women having sex with dozens of robots at once any more.
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- By Chris Bucholz
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How to Social Network for Women on Valentine's Day
How was I to find such a thing in this work-a-day world? A bar? Those aren\'t open at this hour. A pottery class? I’m already an expert potter. The bank? That\'s barely a suggestion. A fourth thing? Now I\'m just going too far. Which is how I came to find myself back on Friendster ...
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- By Cody Johnston
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The Jersey Shore Porn Parody: A Critical Analysis
It might seem strange to review a trailer but, in fairness, this trailer is six minutes long and contains more plot twists than the entire season of Jersey Shore. So, without further adieu….
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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The Return of Jean-Claude Van Damme: Dark, Meaningful, Splits!
Well, Jean-Claude is done being a naked-bunned karate puppet for big money. He wants dark and meaningful roles that stretch his acting ability. So rather than joining Hollywood\'s Greatest Cast Ever Assembled, Jean-Claude made the 4th sequel to a movie about zombie super soldiers that ignores the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd sequels and is set in the ruins o
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- By Seanbaby
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The 6 Most Aggressively Ridiculous Benders in Modern History
Here are the confused, bewildered, most certainly arrested souls that gave birth to our most majestic of benders...
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- By Robert Brockway
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The First Talking Sex Robot: A (Terrified) User Review
By far the most interesting development in the field of machines you can put your wiener in. You can actually carry on full conversations with Roxxxy in what her creator believes is a near-perfect simulation of emotional companionship.
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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Premature Ejaculation Daredevil: Why Super Senses Would Suck
Daredevil has the ability to smell, hear, and FEEL harder than any man alive. Which is why it would suck to do his laundry.
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- By Seanbaby
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8 Amazing Stories of Ninja Failure
We tend to think of ninjas as anachronistic creatures of myth, but I\'m here to tell you the ninja is completely real. He is alive and well in our modern day culture. It\'s just that he sucks now, and is usually under arrest.
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- By Robert Brockway
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