Cracked Columnists
The CIA's 5 Most Mind Blowing Experiments With LSD
Prepare to have your mind, like, blown man. Here are the five strangest things you didn\'t know about the CIA, and how LSD really came to be.
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- By Robert Brockway
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What if Kanye West is Retarded?
What if Kanye didn\'t spout off a bunch of quirky, polarizing diatribes because he wanted to go down in history as a creative genius, but because he is, in fact, a complete fucking moron?
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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The Torture Debate (As a Batman Comic)
On May 21st, President Obama and Dick Cheney faced off on the issue of torture with back-to-back speeches. With the respect due to such an important topic, I\'ve faithfully transcribed the speeches here in the form of a high-action comic adventure.
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- By Seanbaby
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The Funniest Comedic Failure in the History of YouTube
Watch, and wonder.
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- By Michael Swaim
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Adam Lambert vs. Clay Aiken: The Gayest Feud of All-Time
Thanks for the apology, Clay. Maybe we\'ll work together in the Des Moines Community Theater\'s production of Cats next year. Fingers crossed!
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- By Gladstone
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Bucholz Tuesday Canceled!
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- By Chris Bucholz
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Hollywood Gives Up: Keanu Reeves to Play Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde
A man whose range is so limited that ninety percent of the characters he plays could shop at the same black trenchcoat store has been earmarked to play both sides of a split personality.
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- By Michael Swaim
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A Series of Emails From Cyberdyne's New Tech Guy
Hey all, Just a reminder to please update the virus software like I said. Also, there is a room in this building full of naked Austrian cyborgs. Anyone know what\'s going on there?
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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Carlos Mencia's Twitter: 25 Posts Too Unfunny to be Stolen
In a world where many celebrities have to hide from the paparazzi and fans, it\'s refreshing to see one that posts his whereabouts on the Internet and begs for company.
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- By Seanbaby
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Every Chore's An Adventure When You 'Muppet Baby' That Shit
Suddenly a thought occurred to me. \'This doesn\'t have to be a chore,\' I replied. \'What if we use our imaginations to make it into an adventure? What if we straight up \'Muppet Baby\' this?!
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- By Chris Bucholz
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A Practical Guide To Sexting (For Men Over 30)
As someone who went to High School in the 90\'s, I was a little taken aback by today\'s technologically advanced and sexually retarded teens. But as I read these sexting stories (over and over again) I kept thinking one thing: why just sassy teens?
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- By Gladstone
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If The Characters on 'Lost' Told the Truth
With so many enigmas and so much drama every single day, even the most fantastic events will eventually become routine. And coming into season 7, we may well be approaching that point.
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- By Robert Brockway
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Don't Listen to Jenny McCarthy
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- By Daniel O'Brien
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ONS Awards: The Latest and Worstest Nintendo Games
Classic gamers know that even back when its games legally had quality, a lot of suck got through Nintendo\'s quality filters. Now, with all oversights on suck lifted, may God help your Nintendo.
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- By Seanbaby
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The Six Flags Mascot: Like Being Kicked in the Eyes By AIDS
This man has no business giving me advice on anything post-Cold War Era, let alone my choice of amusement park.
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- By Michael Swaim
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