#4. It's Raining Dildos
This person goes by the YouTube handle of logitech4873, and I would give anything to find out that he or she actually worked for that company. Because the above video is the sum effort of 62 hours' worth of rendering, and Logitech needs to know that they have a veritable genius on their hands. All CGI effects in all movies from here on out have to be made by this person. I refuse to watch them otherwise.
Just a heads up: Don't leave before the video is finished or you'll miss the awesome finale.
#3. How to Face Your Fears
I love stupid how-to videos. The stupider, the better.
This one is teaching you how to face your fears, and the person who filmed it is a master of knowing exactly when to cut off the joke. It is seven seconds of absolute perfection. A half second more at the beginning or end would destroy the concept and ruin what is otherwise one of my favorite videos. The first time I saw the ending, I lost it and immediately closed YouTube because I knew that nothing else was going to top it that night.
Watch the video, and you'll see why. I don't want to spoil it for you.
#2. Those Turtles!
This is another rapid-fire type of joke. Just a quick setup, right to the punchline, and back out again. April O'Neil is in a huff, stomping out of the TV station where she works, bitching about the fact that "those turtles" have once again made her look like a fucking idiot. But right as she finishes the line "All because of those turtles," she turns around and is met with five and a half seconds of absolute mind-twisting insanity in the form of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles yelling, "We don't give a FUUUUUUUUUCK" into some industrial sounding dubstep ... and then into some singing-trout level of hell.
One of the top-rated comments is by the creator, saying simply, "Stop watching this." Man, I wish it were that easy.
#1. The Darkest Cover Ever Made
If you've read my articles on Cracked long enough, you know I have an affinity for people playing instruments, horribly, to otherwise serious songs or settings. This video is only partially that ... and it honestly makes me angry that this piece of comedy genius only has 27,000 views as of the publication of this article.
So what else is so goddamn funny about a shirtless man playing a bad recorder version of Seal's "Kiss from a Rose" while scenic settings float by in the background? I can't tell you that without ruining the whole thing. Just know this: If blood makes you squeamish, don't click the play button.
For the rest of you ... you're welcome.