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8 Real Photographs That Prove Hell Exists on Earth

A wise and sagely woman once posited that heaven is a place on a Earth. And if that's true, then hell is just two exits down on the left. Oh, it exists, do not doubt it. It's real, it's right here and I have the goddamn pictures to prove it. Literally. These are images damned by God.

His Coming Shall Be Foretold

"Welp, looks like we've angered the Hellephant again. Water? Ha ha ha! What the fuck, Steve?! Is this your first day? No. Bill, you break out the iron cruciforms. Gus, start stabbing the hoses into virgins. Carl, I'm so sorry -- you're on Batchild patrol."

This is actually an undoctored picture of a fire at a chemical factory in the Netherlands. It took 150 firefighters to put out the flames, and while the plant burned completely to the ground, no injuries were recorded despite the toxic fumes. Though surrounding citizens were warned to stay inside to avoid possible respiratory infections and rampaging Balrogs.

His Shadow Shall Block the Sky

This is what happens immediately after you finish signing that contract with Satan, and all you're left with is a mysteriously echoing laugh. This is the Fourth Sign of the Coming, right before the ground starts bleeding but just after all cats disappear from the Earth. This is how you know God is displeased with your selection of Pope.

OK, so it's actually a picture of a volcanic eruption at Fimmvorduhals in Iceland. But if you don't think "flames overflowing the Earth, resulting in a dark red cloud blocking out the moon itself" is some sort of portent of the endtimes -- then thanks for reading, Azazel of the Thousand Mouths! I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule of raping betrayers to read my stuff. While you're here, maybe you can click that Facebook share button; I bet Despair and Calthogh the Worm would get a kick out of this shit.

The Earth Shall Bleed

What, you thought I was kidding about the Dark Eclipse coming right before the Earth starts bleeding? What kind of horrible jackass would joke about something like that?

This is a picture of, no shit, a place called Blood Falls in Antarctica. Here's the actual explanation: "2 million years ago the Taylor Glacier sealed off a small body of water that contained a community of microbes. This small pool of wild animals has not seen oxygen, sunlight or heat since that time. As the earth warmed and the glaciers in Antarctica melted away, these organisms have been independently evolving for eons without any outside contact. Until now, when they've suddenly sprung forth from the glacier. The frothy water is rich in iron, which gives it the striking red color. These strangely alien microbes may exist nowhere else on earth, and they give scientists an idea of what kind of life may survive after the earth becomes uninhabitable by almost all other life forms."

So, there's a place called Blood Falls, located on the frozen, cruel and empty continent of Antarctica, that contains strange life forms which have been sealed away for untold ages, and have now awoken and spilled forth onto the world. Oh yeah, and they'll probably be the last things alive on the planet.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have done a great disservice to a man; all this time, H.P. Lovecraft was writing non-fiction.

His Servants Are Among Us

Let's be fair: This is just a portrait of an unfortunate woman. Unfortunate because she's lived just a bit too long and has grown to resemble some horror-trope crone. Unfortunate because she's clearly suffering from some bizarre health issues. Unfortunate because she does not have access to care to correct these issues. And perhaps most unfortunate of all, because she has given her body over to demons who now walk the Earth in human skin, only distinguishable by their black eyes and the goddamn horns growing out of their heads.

This is most likely a common skin condition called a cutaneous horn, which is basically just compacted keratin -- the same protein in hair and nails -- protruding from the epidermis. If this is indeed a cutaneous horn, they're often benign and can usually be removed surgically. Though that does not treat the underlying cause, which is either excessive sun exposure to already damaged skin, or the devil coming to live inside the empty shells left behind by suicides.

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Robert Brockway

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