Skynet is an all-powerful artificial intelligence with a huge boner for genocide. Across five Terminator movies, it has unsuccessfully attempted to thwart human resistance to this genocide, which was probably 99 percent successful otherwise. But Skynet will not be happy until everyone is dead, and, like me frustrated with that godawful speeder level in Battletoads, it tries to cheat rather than win the old-fashioned way, because fuck this game.
The problem with Skynet's strategy in each and every movie is that Skynet is completely idiotic. Thanks to Terminator Genisysysisyys, we're treated to the full scope of just how dumb Skynet is. And just how dumb is Skynet? Here are the first seven ways I could think of that it could have succeeded insanely easily in destroying John and/or Sarah Connor. Watch out for spoilers!
7Kill Kyle Reese At The Time Machine
In Genisys, we're treated to future badass John Connor with his pocky face that may have run afoul of one too many forks, leading his forces against Skynet's most secret weapon yet -- the time-travel device! Oh my god! It's madness!
Naturally, a young, CG Schwarzenegger is sent back in time, and then the humans have to decide who gets to go back. Michael Biehn is too old and awesome; let's send vaguely pretty Jai Courtney. Sounds good. So they do. And just as he's on his way back in time, he sees a crazy new Terminator snatch up John Connor! Oh no!
Or maybe it was an Arnold RealDoll?
Then the rest of the movie happens, but here's the thing -- why? If Skynet had a kickass new super awesome Terminator that actually houses the Skynet program itself, and it was right in the goddamn room the whole time, and it was part of their team that stormed the base, why didn't it take any of the million and one opportunities it had available to reach over and literally jam a finger into Kyle's brain? If killing Sarah Connor kills John Connor, won't killing his dad, Kyle Reese, do the same thing? It seems like Skynet waited until Reese went back, which could only have been done to ensure John Connor was born, so that it would be able to take over Connor and use him for the plan that unfolds in Genisys, which is like turning down a sure thing to play a gamble on the exact same outcome. This may be the most pointlessly convoluted plan in the history of pointlessly convoluted time-travel plans.
6Wire The Time Machine To Explode After One Use
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Since we're still at the time machine, why not actually use it properly. Skynet obviously knows the human resistance is going to send someone back in time; why even entertain the option? Why not wire the machine to just explode after the T-101 goes back? Then no one goes back to help anyone, and Sarah Connor is dead.
We're five movies into this franchise now, and every single damn instance where something goes back in time, something else follows it. This is really predictable. Someone needs to close the window so the flies stop getting in. Even Skynet should be able to figure that one out.
All that fancy tech, and no basic pattern recognition.
Making the time machine a single-use endeavor may be a waste of tech, but if Skynet cares about technology or man-hours involved in building something, then it's a bigger idiot than I first imagined. If it succeeds in its mission, it can finally relax and, you know, do literally nothing for the rest of eternity, which seems to be its goal. Retire to a robo-body in Florida or whatever, who knows. Point is, it really needs to stop letting the humans piss on its parade so easily.