7 Awesome Moments in the Greatest Police Training Video Ever

#3. Recognizing Intent Through Body Language

With the movie's assertion that most victims of edged weapons are caught by surprise, it goes without saying that there's an emphasis on trying to read clues to what a suspect is going to do through body language. This is the picture they use to illustrate this lesson: a man charging down an alley with a machete while screaming.

Let's play this out and see where it goes ...

If you look closely, you'll see that his body language betrays him: Eagle-eyed knife-fight enthusiasts will note his subtle shrieking, and the well-trained police officer would be able to detect just a hint of manic charging, or the sneaky way the assailant swings his machete in the air. Had you not gone through special training, you never would have been able to catch these classic tells.

#2. Full-On Human Sacrifice

"Hmm, satanic altar. Yeah, whatever. Wait, she's using that knife improperly! Shoot her! Shoot her!"

After you get about an hour into Surviving Edged Weapons, you may think that there are no surprises left. That's when it drops a re-enactment on you that opens with an apartment manager claiming that "there's a woman getting raped in Apartment 24 -- I don't want to get involved," which defies all expectations with the reveal that the woman is actually worshiping the devil and planning on sacrificing the police to the Author of All Lies. It's pretty easy to see why that dude didn't want to get involved, but really: Once someone has painted "HAIL SATAN" on their walls in the blood of the innocent, you're going to have a tough time getting your next tenant to drop a security deposit.

NATAS? Ugh, damn Satanists and their arcane codes.

Once again, I have to assume that this wouldn't be in here if Satanic sacrifice was not a genuine and pervasive threat to the Wisconsin police department. That might seem unlikely, but you have to remember that this is 1988, a year that saw the release of a Slayer album and an Iron Maiden album. It was a pretty good time to be really into the devil.

#1. It Ends With This Dude

This is James Phillips, a former SWAT team commander who may actually be a Highlander, ending the video with one of the most inspirational quotes of all time:

The Casio keyboard soundtrack just makes it better.

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