Have you ever noticed that in every movie wherein the hero has to raid some futuristic stronghold of villainy to rescue prisoners, destroy a super weapon, or dismantle an evil robotic brain trust, all of those things tend to be located in the same room? This is probably related to the fact that most Hollywood science-fiction writing is done by young men living in studio apartments who have no idea how to change their own oil, let alone how a complicated orbiting moon base should function.
Once you strip away plot conveniences and forget about how cool everything looks for a second, it becomes immediately obvious that virtually no futuristic facility in the history of cinema could possibly serve its intended purpose in real life. For example, unless there's a nuclear reactor hiding behind Sylvester Stallone's naked ass, the cryo-prison in Demolition Man would incur a million-dollar electric bill every month just keeping all of those people frozen in giant blocks of ice, not to mention the mountain of paperwork the warden would have to fill out if there was ever a blackout.
6Star Wars -- The Death Star
Star Wars is a movie about a magical terrorist who destroys the galactic equivalent of the Pentagon after being safely guided through a suicide bombing mission by the ghost of the man who mutilated his father. Earlier in the movie, our heroes infiltrated Space Pentagon (here known as the Death Star) to free the princess of a dead planet, which carries the same level of esteem as being the assistant manager of a Bennigan's that is no longer open.
The Death Star is at least the size of a moon -- we know this because the heroes literally mistake it for one. In actuality, it's probably the size of several moons, because we have to assume that it's layered like an onion, with multiple levels all the way down to its core. What are the odds that the one space garage Luke and Han get pulled into is within walking distance of where Princess Leia, an incredibly valuable political prisoner, is being held? That would be like looking for a single person in the entirety of Asia, landing at a random airport, and finding her in the baggage claim.
Vader doesn't like to have a long walk ahead of him when he parks his Jetta in the shuttle bay.
Think about it -- the hangar they land in, the detention bay, the tractor beam controls, and the garbage chute are all within an elevator ride and a heroic chasm swing of each other. Luke and Han are in and out of the Death Star in maybe an hour. The odds on that are like a million to one (not to be confused with A Million to Juan, which utilizes an entirely different numerical system).
The Samuel Goldwyn Company
Pictured: that joke.
Sure, the Death Star has turbo lifts, and we do see Luke and Han riding one, but those things aren't moving at the speed of light. The circumference of Earth's moon is 6,783 miles. Assuming the Death Star is around the same size, even if the turbo lifts were moving as fast as a commercial jet (about 500 miles per hour), it would still take 13 hours to get from one side of the facility to the other.
And at hour six, Chewie informs the others that he has to take a wicked shit.
And yet they reach Leia almost immediately. Obi-Wan, on foot, reaches the tractor beam controls, which are standing out in the open without any kind of lock or covering. They aren't even behind a door, they're just in the middle of a catwalk. Fire alarms in a public high school have more security than that. The Death Star has a surface area of over 14 million square miles, and yet every critical area of the station is located within roller-skating distance of the hangar that the heroes of the Rebel Alliance land in.
"Wow, this was so easy I have time to run a completely different errand before meeting the others back at the ship."
It would be a nightmare to work in a place that size. What if Vader needed you to take some documents down to Accounting, which is 12 hours away from your department by turbo lift? And why is the trash compacter full of water and a bog monster?
Maybe it's picking cans and bottles.
This isn't a recycling center in South Carolina, it's a fucking state-of-the-art space station. It's not like a cyclopean space octopus wandered in through an open window, so that means it's either supposed to be there, performing some crucial trash-related function, or it's a pet that someone flushed. Apparently the Emperor decreed that every Imperial facility should have a dedicated medieval torture chamber to drown all of their garbage.
5Face/Off -- The Prison
In Face/Off, John Travolta has several pounds of fat and skeleton lasered off his body to wear Nicolas Cage's surgically removed face and assume his identity in order to infiltrate a prison to learn the location of a hidden bomb, because the 1990s were a decade in which we allowed things like this to occur. The prison, located on an oil rig out in the middle of the ocean, is the most sophisticated correctional facility in the world.
It's a secret prison, which is how the filmmakers explain the fact that it in no way looks like a prison.
Its remote location makes it virtually inescapable, and all of the inmates are required to wear giant magnetic thunder boots, which can be activated to root them to the floor at a moment's notice. I suspect a majority of this movie's plot was conceived by someone who was playing with action figures.
In order for this ridiculous magnetic prison to work, every single one of the inmates has to be wearing giant metal Super Mario shoes all of the time.
Seen here being wedged into the groin of another human being.
Now, if you go to prison in real life, they give you tissue paper shoes for the explicit purpose of preventing you from using your shoes to murder yourself or those around you. But the island prison in Face/Off, built to house the most dangerous criminals on the planet, dresses its inmates in hulking steel robot boots that can easily be used to stomp a person's head into pie filling and/or kick an escape-sized hole through stone and mortar. Not that Thomas Jane would ever wear them, though, because Thomas Jane doesn't wear shoes.
Don't you even think of talking your "shoe" nonsense around Thomas Jane.
Also, when a riot finally does break out, the guards don't bother to activate the boots. The entire purpose of giving your prisoners magnetic boots is to be able to immediately crush any violent outburst at the flick of a switch, but apparently there is only one magnet-boot switch in the entire facility, and nobody was covering the switch that day.
This is the exact situation those boots were meant to prevent.
And as for the whole "inescapable island prison" thing? After murdering his way through the riot, Cage's character just kind of leaps right off the edge of the oil rig, which is, like, a 100-foot drop directly into the ocean, and swims to freedom. We see him hot-wiring a station wagon in the very next scene. They could have built that prison in the middle of Disneyland and it wouldn't have made a difference.
"FUCK YOUR BOOTS!"