A while ago we predicted that 2015 would be a bleak year of bloated budgets and ever-waning franchises, like Fantastic Four and Terminator: The Wrinkled Cyborg Chronicles. What we didn't expect was for the indie market to so heroically pick up the creative and box office slack over the past year with films like It Follows, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Birdman, and Snowpiercer.
We're not shitting on studio films like Guardians Of The Galaxy, Furious 7, and the upcoming carnal catastrophe that is Mad Max, but every now and then we like to stop and take a moment to tell you about the equally awesome films getting a fraction of the attention they deserve. Films like ...
6 White God: Rise Of The Planet Of The Dogs
Turning a bunch of plain-roaming pack hunters into wigglepuss fur pals is probably the biggest practical joke mankind ever pulled on Mother Nature. The best part about owning a dog is the subliminal power-rush of knowing that the apex predator you named "Keanu Fleas" has no idea it can kill you at any moment. The film White God explores that dynamic, along with a bunch of allegorical stuff you won't give a shit about once the dog army explodes on-screen:
"Who's a good apocalypse? You're a good apocalypse! Yes, you are!
That's from the trailer, which begins as a seemingly heartwarming tale about a young girl and her beloved dog who are forced to live with her dirtbag father. It's a classic Turner & Hooch-style laugh riot, right up until the grumpy ol' father heartlessly abandons the dog in the middle of the city like a grumpy ol' ass wipe:
... only to inadvertently cause the lovable pooch to rise up against his human oppressors with the help of an ever-growing army of strays.
"We swear, the neutering wasn't our idea! Bob Barker is the one you want!"
It's like Homeward Bound meets V For Vendetta, with a dog staging a bloody revolution because of his love for a little girl.
We're a little disappointed they didn't paint him blue and go full Braveheart.
This is clearly going to be the most adorable tale of vicious maulings ever produced. Despite coming out in March, somehow this thing is only in a limited number of theaters, even though it's an obviously superior version of 2011's blockbuster hit Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes.
Proton Cinema, Christopher Polk/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
... and with a much more vacant lead star.
5Stung: Giant Wasps Attack Lance Henriksen
There hasn't been a worthwhile killer bee film since the creature features of the '70s -- at best, bees have been a delightful comedic antihero, like in The Wicker Man or My Girl. The new movie Stung realizes that if we're not going to take bees' wrath seriously, we might as well make them grotesquely huge instead.
That'll stop a picnic right in its tracks.
In the film, toxic plant fertilizer creates gumball-sized killer wasps who attack people and presumably lay eggs in their bodies ...
... which then erupt into even larger wasps out of the mangled husks of fancy garden-party guests.
Just like the last episode of Party Down.
Naturally, it's up to the catering staff to save the day from these buzzy goblins as they do their best John Carpenter creature impressions, including occasionally wearing the heads of their victims like motorcycle helmets. Throw in Peter Stormare and Lance Henriksen, two character actors famous for playing the broadest low-key weirdos in film history, and this movie looks like the beautiful potpourri of gore and randomness we deserve.