Last week, famed marble-mouthed rapper 50 Cent posted several tweets in which he urged his followers to purchase the stock of a company called H and H Imports, with promises of sure and immediate wealth if they did so. If you've spent any time at all wading around your spam folder, you might recognize this as being chin-strokingly similar to a scam called a "pump and dump." That's the term for an investment scheme where a scammer makes an investment in a very cheap stock, then sends out spam trying to convince as many other people as possible to purchase the stock. Once these savvy and far-sighted investors have bought in, inflating the stock's value, the scammer dumps his investment, making a tidy profit, all the while presumably twirling his cane around and chortling something about "rubes." It's one of the most laughably elementary scams there is, the FBI rating it only slightly more sophisticated than jacking someone over the head with a brick and taking their shoes.
"Son, come over here for a second. Now tell me, are those Air Jordans?"
Whether Fiddy himself gets in any trouble for this is still unclear. At this point there's no indication that he actually sold the stock, which would leave him in the clear -- there's nothing necessarily illegal with promoting a stock you own. We'll have to wait and see what happens, but the mere thought of 50 Fucking Cent berserking his way through securities law like a madman is awesome enough to savor, just as it is.
But there's another question here, one no one else seems to have picked up on: Has Fiddy done anything like this before? Taking it upon myself to do the hard-nosed reporting the Lamestream media evidently won't, I shifted slightly in my chair and poked through 50's archive of tweets to see what else he'd been up to. The results were both shocking and not at all fabricated.
Our new book is most definitely not a scam to get you to buy a book full of dongs. Pick it up and then check out more from Bucholz in The Shocking Truth Behind Justin Bieber Brand Nail Polish.