The other day, I noticed there are certain phrases I use over and over but never finish. And I don't mean phrases like "Hi, I'm Gladstone, if I asked you to have sex, you would say ...?"
Yeah, I only said that one once.
Anyway, the reason I don't finish these phrases is because I don't need to. Neither do you. Society has noticed that there are certain scenarios where a few unfinished words and a gesture or facial expression get the job done. Here are five. Are there more? I'm sure there are, but five is a nice number. I grew up in a family of five. There are five fingers on one hand, and Lacey Chabert from Party of Five grew up hotter than any of us expected.
Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
But our hearts still belong to Alyssa Milano.
5 The Lazy "Or"
Our first entry is something I like to call the lazy "or." It's nicely evocative, don't you think? It conjures an image of someone going around in circles in a rowboat.
Lazy oar. Get it?
The lazy "or" is when you want to convey options, but don't want to be bothered thinking about what those options could be. Examples include:
"So, you wanna get some Chinese food, or ...?"
"Yeah, bowling sounds like a fun idea, or ..."
"Do you like it when I do that thing with the thing in bed, or ...?"
Thing not pictured
The lazy "or" is just a nice way of saying "This conversation's not over, and I welcome your input." It's a way of qualifying your opinion to let someone else know it's not the final word. Of course, it can also be used passive-aggressively. For example:
"I'd be happy to have that last slice of pizza, or ..."
"So we'll get Grandma a gift card to Chippendales for her 80th birthday, or ..."
"It's the worst when you can't think of a third example for your article, um, or ..."
In those cases, the "or" becomes more manipulative than lazy, but still allows you to not finish your sentence.
4 The "Excuse Me, I Just ... (Need Something You're in the Way Of)"
Here's one that pops up a lot in crowded places. You're in some place with lots of people -- people you don't really know or ever have cause to speak to. Let's say it's a Starbucks. You've got your coffee and you need to add some milk or nutmeg or whatever you like to put into your coffee. But the Starbucks fixin's bar is flooded with a gaggle of commuters all very much in their own coffee creation worlds, oblivious to your need for that thermos of milk they're currently blocking you from.
Sweet, sweet milk.
What do you do? Well, if you're like me, you say "Excuse me" and give just the barest explanation for the intrusion. I tend to say "Excuse me, I just ..." and then point meekly to the milk they're blocking. I'm not sure why I don't finish the sentence. I just don't. Maybe because "Excuse me, I need the milk" sounds weird. Other things that sound weird:
"Excuse me, I just need to push my floor on the elevator."
"Excuse me, could I just get past you so I can get that brochure on chlamydia you're blocking?"
"Excuse me, but you're really fat and oblivious, and normally there's a passing lane on an escalator."
But the good thing about this partial phrase is that only the biggest psychopaths will get mad at you for using it. It seems there are plenty of people in the world who don't like to be told what to do, and finishing your thoughts only antagonizes them more. You might not set them off with "Excuse me, but I need the milk," but you will definitely irk someone with "Excuse me, you're blocking the milk." Why chance it when you can just say "Excuse me" and make a meek gesture?