#2. Something Where You Have Power
Absolutely everyone should, at some point, be promoted above their level of competency. Obviously, this shouldn't happen all at once, and not for an extended period of time, because that would destroy the world, which is the opposite of what I'd like to do. But it should still happen.
Why Everyone Should Have This Job:
In part, it's for people who have never had any power to see how the other half lives, but mostly it's about learning. If waiting tables is how you learn about other people, being in charge is how you learn about you. There is no better way to learn about yourself than by seeing what you do when you have power. Even a little bit of power would do. You don't need to be the boss of a huge company, you could just be the assistant manager of a Glogurt's -- it doesn't matter. As long a position has some power and a few subordinate employees, you should have it.
It's important for dicks to learn that they're dicks. I held some kind of position of power at a job when I was 18 or 19 and realized pretty immediately that "Whoa, hey, I'm kind of an insufferable prick when put in charge of people. Yeesh." Everyone on the planet deserves that opportunity. The chance to find out if you're a good and fair leader, or an irritating 19-year-old who goes mad with even the tiniest hint of power.
#1. Something Mindless/Labor Intensive
I might have mentioned this before, but I used to wash dishes. I was a bartender for a year or two in college and, to make extra money, I'd hop in the kitchen on nights when I wasn't tending the bar and wash dishes. I really loved it, because I didn't have to use my brain at all, and in college, it's healthy to shut down once in a while in a way that doesn't involve alcohol.
I also learned about communication. All of the other in-kitchen employees spoke Spanish, and when I first started, I didn't speak a word of it. But, slowly, I'd pick a few things up here and there and, eventually, I learned how to ask in Spanish if someone wanted a drink (you mime holding a glass in your hand, pretend to drink from it and then shrug your shoulders as if to say, "Yes?".)
But the most important lesson I learned? How to shut the hell up and work. I've worked a lot of jobs, and most of them offer plenty of opportunities to screw around and be lazy. Dish washing is not one of those jobs. When you show up, there's a big stack of dishes. If you don't clean them, there will A) be no clean dishes for the future and B) be no room for the other dirty dishes that are rapidly being dropped in front of you. In both scenarios, everyone is mad at you, so you need to rinse the dirty dishes and stick them in a big machine. When they're clean, you have to move them to a drying rack, or else the machine would get backed up. And when you return from the drying rack, there's a bigger stack of dirty plates waiting for you.
It's not as stressful as, say, being a doctor, but it offers no down time. There will always be dishes to wash and dry, because that's how restaurants work. So, for six hours, the only thing you can do is your job. There's no opportunity to drag your feet and take an extended trip hauling garbage to the outside dumpster to kill time (a thing I used to do when I worked at a movie theater), and no storage closets to hide in (a thing I used to do when I worked retail at a sporting goods store). You just silently do a mindless, repetitive task over and over again until the job is done, and then you leave.
It's incredibly freaking therapeutic.
Why Everyone Should Have This Job:
Because everyone should just shut up and work for a while. Everyone should have a job that doesn't get easier if you're smarter or more charming than someone else. There are no corners to cut. The job is just "Here's the work. Do the work."
There are some people in this world who have never had chores and never performed any mindless labor.
Don't you think they should?
Daniel O'Brien is Cracked.com's Senior Writer (ladies), which is a job he thinks no one in the world should have, because then it wouldn't be his anymore (bosses).